8-Legged Surprise

(warning, don't read this blog if you have a vivid imagination and/or fear of crawling critters)

I've heard that it's a good idea for couples to go to bed at the same time, for the health of the relationship. So although DF gets up a lot earlier than I do, I usually turn in when he does. My normal routine is to wait for him to fall asleep, then pull out my phone and hide under my pillow to block the screen while I read blogs or play games until I'm sleepy. To fully paint the picture: I'm laying on my stomach, with the pillow propped up on my head, turned at a slight angle to block the light from my phone screen, which I'm holding at about bed-level.

A couple weeks ago, an ant crawled across my phone screen during one of these late-night reading sessions. I squished it. Sidebar: squished ant smells weird. That was kind of gross, but since it was just a little ant, it was no big deal.

Last night, though, was a different story.

It was about 11:30pm. I was scrolling through the latest stories in Feedly, relaxing, letting my brain wind down from a busy day. Then I noticed some movement out of the corner of my left eye, the eye closest to the pillow. In a split second I realized this object was crawling and it had a lot of legs. SPIDER! CRAWLING UP THE UNDERSIDE OF MY PILLOW RIGHT NEXT TO MY HEAD! PANIC!!

I recoiled and the pillow fell on the bed. In the dark, with DF asleep, I didn't know what to do next because I could no longer ascertain the whereabouts of my little nighttime visitor. I grabbed my glasses off the nightstand and hopped out of bed. Remembering we have a flashlight out in the dining room, I scurried out to retrieve it, bumping into walls and furniture as quietly as possible in the dark. With flashlight in hand, I grabbed a handful of Kleenex out of the bathroom, my self-defense weapon of choice against bugs.

Returning to the bedroom, I tried to focus the flashlight just on my side of the bed. This commotion elicited a "hhnghhh?" from DF. "Sorry!" I said. "There was a spider!" He did not leap out of bed in fear. I guess he doesn't mind sharing his sleeping quarters with creepy crawly critters. Or he was still asleep...

By this point a good 3 minutes had passed since the last spider sighting, and I mentally prepared myself that the arachnid may have managed to escape my pillow trap. I had to check, though. So I counted to 3 and flipped the pillow onto the floor. A spider carcass dropped onto the carpet. Apparently when I had yanked my head out from under the pillow earlier, the force of the falling object was too much for the little guy to withstand. Bwah hah hah, that was my plan, exactly!

I checked to make sure it really was the same spider, then squished it for good measure. It was a decent-sized critter. Probably a 1/2 inch body, sort of yellowish-brown, with long brown legs. I think. It was still pretty dark and I was a bit amped up on adrenaline.

After disposing of the remains, I crawled back into bed, but not before carefully inspecting the area to make sure no other spider friends were coming to check on their fallen comrade. I told myself that it was just a random one-time occurrence and there's no reason to think my bed in normally overrun by spiders each night. Somehow I managed to get to sleep...eventually.

More visitors!

Memphis: the place everyone wants to be. Or at least, the place where people come and visit us! That's right, we managed to convince another set of parents to come and visit us (Mom and Dad Salmonista). They were here for 5 days last week and we had a great time!

I was impressed that they actually wanted to get out and do things, see new places, try new foods. Normally I don't think of them as too adventurous, but they proved me wrong! Here's just a sampling of their Memphis cultural immersion experience :)

Food:

• Gus's Chicken (of course!)
• Dyer's, with the 100+ year old grease
• Central BBQ where the manager was kind enough to let us see the behind-the-scenes smoker action
• Chick-Fil-A
• Gibson's Donuts
• Jet's Pizza (is this a Memphis classic? I really like it, at least :))

Attractions:

• Lichterman Nature Center

• Patriotic Pops Concert at the Levitt Shell

• Collierville town square and Civil War trail

• Germantown fireworks show
• Graceland (just stopped by for a few Elvis souvenirs, didn't go on the tour)
• Mud Island, which included sticking our toes in the MS river

• Peabody Ducks
• Beale St., briefly - not really their scene
• Authentic Southern church experience including choir, Sunday School, and lunch
• Pink Palace Museum
• Shelby Farms
• Botanic Gardens
• Arts & Crafts (ladies) night at a real Memphian's home where we ate real Southern snacks and decorated lampshades

In between all the above there was a lot of marveling at the unseasonably cool and non-humid weather, instructing about how to use "y'all" correctly, and ESPN viewing by Father Salmonista who does not have access to such luxuries at home. 

All in all, I'd say it was a successful visit! We are improving our tour guide and B&B skills with each tour group. This time I even (sort of) learned how to make an omelette. Book your reservation now before all our weekends are full :)

Proud to Be a Falcon

I attended Seattle Pacific University for 4 years around the turn of the century (the 21st century, thank you). I've been wanting to post about my experience there to add to the reflections in the wake of the shooting earlier this month. I thought if I let my ideas swirl long enough, they'd coalesce into a beautiful orb beaming with insight. This is not the case. Instead, I offer here some jumbled thoughts that have been percolating in my brain.

SPU played an immensely formative role in my life. To be sure, the college years are a time of growth and formation for most students, and I was no different. But SPU's unique mission, the way that the quest for knowledge is grounded in a rich faith tradition, provided just the laboratory I needed to to emerge a stronger, more grounded, and compassionate person.

SPU is where I learned to appreciate nuance, to not only tolerate ambiguity but to love "both-and" statements, and to ask questions rather than assume I already knew the answer. SPU taught me to branch out and embrace the church universal, focusing on that which unites us rather than quibbling over that which divides.

At SPU, I built relationships with a variety of people who had different backgrounds and life experiences. Now, I won't say every single interaction I had on campus left me uplifted or beaming with joy. It's a place populated by humans, after all, and we were all learning and growing together. Sometimes we erred or hurt each other. But we were striving for truth and reconciliation (we press on towards the goal, even if we have not yet attained it). And through it all, I learned a lot how to interact authentically with those in my community.

SPU takes seriously its commitment to educating the whole person. Professors demonstrate passion for their discipline as well as personal student development. Outside the classroom, through my work study job on campus, I spent 4 years working in an office populated by caring, dedicated, fun-loving staff. My Facebook friends list includes several current SPU staff members, and that was how I first heard about the shooting, as they posted about being on lockdown.

We always used to say that going to SPU was like living in a bubble. And I'm sure everyone's saying that the bubble has popped now. For me, when I was there, SPU felt like a safe place - intellectually and emotionally. I had the freedom to explore, to investigate, to try new things, but I also had a safety net around me in the form of a caring community. The shooting on campus didn't burst that bubble. In this time of trial, the community came together, and I'm hopeful it will only continue to get stronger.

Memphis in May: BBQ

Memphis in May is an annual festival that includes a bunch of different events. We arrived here just to late last year to participate in any of the festivities, so we had to wait 11 months for our chance!

This weekend is the World Championship BBQ Cooking Contest. It's like the Superbowl of Barbecue. We didn't really know what to expect (except mud, because the festival's nickname is Memphis in the Mud), but that didn't stop us from heading down to Tom Lee Park this afternoon. Turns out we arrived just in time for judging.

Let me try and paint the scene for you. The event is held in a mile-long stretch of park along the banks of the Mississippi River. I'm not sure how teams get selected to compete, but I imagine it's a difficult process since there's over $100K in prize money available. I have heard that it costs $3,000 just for a booth space. So you've got hundreds of BBQ booths set up in this park. Each team designs their own booth and some are quite elaborate. They've got smokers (of course), multiple levels of seating, creative decorations, and past trophies on display.

Behold, the gates of BBQ are open!

Main stage

Teams come from all over, even Canada!

It is practically required to have a funny and/or clever team name

General view of the grounds - note that 3 story booth in the background

Regular patrons aren't allowed into the booths. Health codes prohibit the teams from selling their food to event-goers. However, the teams can hold private parties where they basically invite their friends and fans in for a taste. We didn't manage to get invited in anywhere...maybe next year!

When the judges come around, everyone takes it very seriously. Teams hold up signs that say "Shush" or "Quiet y'all!" Apparently BBQ tastes better when there isn't too much noise to distract your tastebuds. All the team members wearing matching t-shirts or outfits. The head cook explains their team's approach and BBQ preparation method. Then the judge samples the food and chats for a bit. When the judge departs from the booth, there is lots of clapping.

A team lines up to await the judge's arrival



Here's a team who sang to their judge, barbershop style

In addition to cash prizes, the winners get big bragging rights and lots of publicity. We didn't stay until the end to find out who won because we'd had enough of sloshing around in the mud. It was still quite the cultural experience!

the Culture of Cruising

We recently returned from a week-long Caribbean Cruise on Carnival. It was my first cruise, and I wasn't 100% excited about the idea, but I went along with it anyway. Cruising turned out to be a lot of fun! And none of the bad stuff I was worried about happened (seasickness, norovirus, shipwreck, being stranded at sea...) so that was nice.

We had 4 sea days and 3 port days. This means we had a lot of time aboard to interact with our 3,500+ fellow passengers. Some things I observed:

1. Home state pride. This cruise departed from New Orleans, so many people on board were from Louisiana. And they were proud of it! I'm glad I already had lived in the south for almost a year before taking this cruise because otherwise it would have been kind of disorienting to hear so many people talking about college football and other Southern things. The first night during the Welcome Aboard show, a raucous chant of "LSU! LSU!" broke out, and when the host said something about Auburn, there was lots of booing.

During the week, everyone kept saying "Who dat?" in response to someone asking about Louisiana and/or New Orleans. I found out that is a chant for the Saints.

2. People like to make fun of Cajuns. Cajuns are descendants of French-speaking settlers of Louisiana, and they've created their own unique subculture. Apparently they are now most famous for being on a show called "Swamp People." I really knew hardly anything about Cajuns before except that their food is usually spicy. The ship had comedy shows almost every night, and one comedian spent most of his show making fun of Cajuns. The audience was roaring! I mean, falling out of their chairs, laughing so hard some people were crying. I really didn't get what was so funny. You probably have to know some Cajuns to understand.

3. There was a lot of food available. I got the feeling that Carnival was trying to fatten us all up. There is literally some food option available 24/7 on the ship. Breakfast in various forms can be found from 6:30am - 1:00pm. There are 5 or 6 lunch options. You've got an assigned time for dinner, but you can also hit up the buffet. In between, there are numerous snack opportunities, as well as the midnight snack time. On the last day they had this lavish chocolate decadence bar that was overflowing with desserts. To be honest, I was kind of grossed out by the end of the week. And no wonder norovirus spreads quickly on ships! People are always eating, and you're serving yourself with common buffet utensils, then eating with your hands! I always used silverware on board and washed my hands frequently. Call me paranoid, but I didn't get sick :)

Now that I'm a cruising veteran, I can say that I think this type of vacation has its place. If there if somewhere you want to visit but not spend a very long time, or if you enjoy just getting away from it all and letting a travel company take care of all the details, then a cruise might be the right choice. For me, I usually prefer having more time to explore new places and experience different aspects of cultures - more than you can see in a half-day excursion. I also like having some actual peace and quiet once in awhile.

Home Sweet Home :)

Leave-Taking Behavior

If you aren't a cultural anthropologist, you might not have heard of "leave-taking behavior" before, so let me explain. It's basically a fancy way to talk about how people indicate, both verbally and non-verbally, that they are going to depart from the company of whomever they're presently with. This culturally-conditioned behavior is taught to us as children ("Wave bye-bye!" "Give grandma a kiss goodbye," and so on). And so far in my experience, I've observed some notable differences between Southerners and Pacific Northwesterners in this regard.

*caveat* All of my anecdotal observational data comes from interacting with friends, not family members. I suspect that familial leave-taking behavior may vary. My own extended family has rituals like going around and personally saying goodbye to everyone present. But since I don't have any relatives in Memphis and I hardly ever hang out at other people's family gatherings, I have nothing concrete to report on that topic.

1. Length of time it takes to leave

From the time someone first says, "We probably should be going" to when they actually walk out the door, how long does that usually last, in your cultural context? Factors that may influence behavior: the total number of people present, the type of activity, the intimacy of communication that has been experienced thus far, and the importance of timeliness to the person's next engagement. So far I think the record that I've seen in Memphis is about 40 minutes. This happened at our apartment when we had 2 other couples over for dinner. Around 8:30, one person asked their spouse what time it was and commented on how they should probably get home to the kids. The other spouse agreed. But, they didn't get up from the table and continued talking. Eventually we all collected dishes to take to the kitchen, and the conversation shifted to something else. It had probably been about 15 minutes by this point. Spouse #1 again mentioned that they should be heading out. The other couple agreed that they needed to leave, too. Then somehow a gender divide happened, with the women talking in the kitchen and the men in the living room. Again, about 15 minutes passed. Spouse #1 gathered their belongings and started moving towards the exit, but spouse #2 needed to use the restroom. Finally, goodbyes were said all around and the first couple left. The second couple stayed a few minutes longer before also heading out the door.

Interesting, isn't it! I haven't experienced this long of leave-taking behavior in Seattle. Usually, I would wait until the time I actually need to leave, then say something to the effect of, "Well, it's getting late" or "we have to get up early for work tomorrow" or even just "it's been so great to see you! We should probably be heading out." Then within maybe 5 minutes, I'd be gone. 

I think the longer leave-taking behavior ritual may symbolize a level of comfort or familiarity on the part of Southerners, that you don't feel like you need to rush off after your designated activity (in this case, dinner) has finished. But I don't understand why they would announce their intentions to leave so much earlier than they actually walk out the door. In my cultural upbringing, you wait until you actually have to leave, and then you go. It's less drawn out. And perhaps, less friendly? I will say that when these people took a long time to leave my house, it made me feel like they enjoyed our company and were not eager to depart. I felt the same way about my friends in Seattle, but I would have probably communicated it verbally, by saying "we had such a great time! It's always so fun to hang out with you," etc. 

2. The importance of being on time

I really don't have enough data to fully expound on this point, as my main frame of reference is church. The people in our Sunday School class (yes, in Memphis, adults go to Sunday School) arrive at class at least 10 minutes after the scheduled start time, and then we don't leave on time to get to the church service. After class is over, the culturally appropriate behavior is to talk to the other people about whatever is on your mind, including but not limited to college sports, the Grizzlies, upcoming social events, people's children, the weather, what restaurants you've been to lately...just general life stuff. I like to get to the church service for the singing part at the beginning, but I feel kind of awkward being the first ones to leave. So we usually stay and chat for awhile until the conversation starts to die down.

Also, the church has two services with Sunday School in between, so some people are just going to be heading home after class and aren't in a hurry to leave.

The exception here might be parents with young children that they have to go pick up from the nursery. Young children's impact on their parents' leave-taking behavior is a subject for other scholars with more first-hand experience, though.

3. Group normative behavior

Here's another anecdote for you. A few months back, some friends invited us over for a game night. We knew the one couple who was hosting, but we hadn't met any of the other attendees before. We'd eaten snacks and played a couple group games. One game had just wrapped up and we were deciding what to do next when, all of a sudden (in my perception), two people said they needed to get going because they had to get up early in the morning. Then all of the other guests (about 8 total) all hopped up saying that they needed to leave, too. In about 5 minutes, they were all out the door. I was surprised! I had never seen a group of people leave so quickly in Memphis! D.F. and I stayed to play another board game. When we were setting up the game, we looked out the window and saw the other party-goers standing in the driveway, continuing a conversation for about 10 minutes. Aha! My theories about the South prevail! These people couldn't resist the pull of Southern leave-taking rituals that one does not simply bid a group farewell and then depart. No, it is important to extend the gathering and conversation for an appropriate amount of time, even if that means standing in the driveway talking in the dark. 

I'm sure I'll have other observations as time goes on. And if you are one of my Memphis friends and recognize yourself in these stories, I hope you don't mind me studying your behavior for anthropological purposes :)  I just find y'all very fascinating!

Crawfish Festival

Festival season has begun in Memphis! Our first event of the year? The Overton Square Crawfish Festival. 

Saturday was gorgeous outside with high temperatures pushing 80. (This is a nice thing about the South - we have like 6 months here that would qualify as summer compared to Seattle.) Overton Square is a pretty hip area of town where we've hung out a few times before. The streets were hopping this weekend with crawfish lovers, vendors, and bands. 

In true Memphis festival tradition, the attendees seemed to really enjoy freely drinking in public. (They don't have beer gardens here - you can just walk around sipping your beverage of choice.) 

  

So in the interest of full disclosure, neither of us had ever eaten crawfish (or crayfish or crawdads) before this weekend. They are more of a Louisiana delicacy, but that didn't seem to stop everyone from chowing down. We decided to be brave and buy ourselves a 3 pound batch to try. I had to ask the internet how to eat them. It's a lot of work! But actually, they're pretty tasty.

D.F. reminisced about his childhood days of crawdad hunting in the ponds/sewers of South Dakota. It was a little weird for him to eat the critters he used to catch!