The other day, I saw a post on FB (which, of course, I can't locate now) about how you can't sit around waiting for your life to begin, because your life is already happening. The obstacles or challenges you're trying to overcome - that's what life is. (If you're the one who shared this post, send me the link, eh?)
I like this sentiment. Looking back through the years, I'd say I've done ok overall of living in the present. Perhaps it was hardest when I was a student, because you've really got the end goal in mind there (graduation), and it can be tough to find the joy in hundreds of pages of assigned reading. But I seized the moment when I could, whether through nighttime Slurpee runs during college or attending random parties at the Slovenian embassy during grad school. And I didn't wait around to have a boyfriend/get married before having adventures like jetting off to Morocco for a week.
Now, I am doing my best to embrace life, one day at a time. I will admit that it was tough when the babies were newborns. I did not enjoy those days too much because I was so sleep deprived, and they really didn't do much that was interesting. But now that they can hold their own heads up, hey, it's getting easier! And it's pretty fun to babble with them. Currently, they like to say "oh! aaaah!" and make gargling noises.
It's hard, though, not to say to myself, "Once they are taking more regular naps, then we can do____," or "Once I'm not afraid of them getting germs from the nursery, then my real mom life will start," or "As soon as they can talk and tell me what they need, things should be easier." I'm sure that when we do arrive at those various milestones, I'll soon identify something else that I'm waiting for.
So today, I'll give them each a bath and enjoy the individualized splashing time, rather than wishing they were big enough to sit up unassisted so I could put them both in the tub together. I'll mix up their bottles without dreaming of the day they can just eat whatever we're having for dinner. And I'll happily babble-talk with them, singing the chorus of their favorite song (because it says ga ga, ooh la la!)
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Friday, December 18, 2015
Kids Are Entertaining
Yesterday the boys were fussing, so in an attempt to entertain them, I picked up this rattle-ball toy and started tossing it back and forth. Oh my gosh, they thought it was hilarious! They totally started cracking up and laughed for like 5 minutes straight. I couldn't help but laugh along with them, even though I didn't know what was so funny about the ball. Apparently it's still funny today, too (I checked this morning).
ha ha ha ha ha!
This episode got me thinking about some of my own childhood memories of laughing fits. My sister and I used to sing "Ba Ba Black Sheep" but for the last line, instead of "lives down the lane," we said "crawls down my leg!" We thought this was the funniest thing ever, and we'd literally roll around on the floor, unable to stop giggling about it. Even thinking about it now, it seems funny :)
Of course, sometimes kids aren't as funny as they think they are. I recall being about six or so when I realized I could laugh like Woody Woodpecker. This seemed like such a neat trick that I would go around showing off my skill to anyone who would listen. Now as an adult, I understand that pretty much everyone can laugh like Woody and anyone who smiled at my impression was probably just humoring a little kid.
ha ha ha ha ha!
This episode got me thinking about some of my own childhood memories of laughing fits. My sister and I used to sing "Ba Ba Black Sheep" but for the last line, instead of "lives down the lane," we said "crawls down my leg!" We thought this was the funniest thing ever, and we'd literally roll around on the floor, unable to stop giggling about it. Even thinking about it now, it seems funny :)
Of course, sometimes kids aren't as funny as they think they are. I recall being about six or so when I realized I could laugh like Woody Woodpecker. This seemed like such a neat trick that I would go around showing off my skill to anyone who would listen. Now as an adult, I understand that pretty much everyone can laugh like Woody and anyone who smiled at my impression was probably just humoring a little kid.
Friday, December 11, 2015
Emerging Personalities
The boys are starting to be awake a bit more often, so I'm able to see their personalities develop now. It's hard to predict the future from how a 4-month old behaves, though. I suppose it's more likely that, as they get older, I'll look back on these baby days and say, "Oh, now I see why you were like that!"
Baby A, the older brother, so far seems to be more noisy and expressive. I call him the "spokes-twin" as he is usually the first one to start making noises. He tends to be a little more patient and calm when it comes to getting his needs met. He's usually content to lay in his crib for awhile and look at his mobile or just chew on his fingers while his brother's getting his diaper changed. Perhaps he'll be taking on the traditional role of the older brother, trying to be a good example to his younger sibling.
Baby B really seems to enjoy one-on-one parental attention. He will "talk" up a storm at the end of his feedings if you make eye contact with him and say "ooh ooh, ga ga" or something else in baby-ese. Sometimes he'll interrupt a feeding if he has a lot on his mind. And also when he's supposed to be going to sleep, he likes to look up and me and start babbling. I predict he'll be the kid who wants to have deep, philosophical conversations to prolong bedtime (taking after his mother).
Just recently, they seem to have discovered each other and now they are kind of obsessed with seeing what their brother is doing. They always want to look at the other one while burping. When they are playing on their play mat, they like to grab onto each other or chew on the other's hands. I hope this is a good sign of many happy years of cooperative play time to come!
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Change is Hard, and Life is Change
You know that feeling when you were used to something, then suddenly things change and you have to adapt to new circumstances? Before, you were all cozy and comfortable - or if not completely cozy, at least you understood how things worked and what to expect. Now, you're in unfamiliar territory and everything feels different and weird. Adapting to new situations is tricky and takes time.
In other words, when mom swaps out your snug little swaddle sack for a bigger "wearable blanket," the only logical response is to wake up several times a night squawking to express your displeasure in the changing circumstances.
Never mind that the swaddle sack was getting too small for you, and you were waking yourself up by busting out of the velcro a couple times a night anyway. It was what you were used to. You'd been sleeping in it for two months or so, which is nearly half your life. This newer, bigger sleeping apparatus is strange. You can kick your legs freely! With the optional swaddle feature, your arms are free to flail as well. Uncharted territory!
But my little darlings, this is among the first of many, many times you'll have to adjust to new circumstances. Before long, you know, you'll be eating solid food. You'll probably enjoy the different flavors and textures, but you won't like every food you try. Some days you might wish you could go back to just drinking milk rather than messing with all the coordination required to chew and swallow. If you only drink milk, though, eventually I think you'd fall off the growth curve - you must accept the change and adapt accordingly.
Really, isn't this what life is? Coping with change, adjusting to new situations, getting comfortable, and then changing again? Whether the changes are positive ones of our own choosing (new job, new house, new relationship) or maybe sad ones we never would have picked (lost job, breakup, death of a loved one), together they make up the sum of a life.
Oh boys, the changes you'll see! I hope we can teach you to be adaptable and enjoy new experiences as they come along. You see to be doing ok with the blankets now after a couple nights. Perhaps this bodes well for your future :)
In other words, when mom swaps out your snug little swaddle sack for a bigger "wearable blanket," the only logical response is to wake up several times a night squawking to express your displeasure in the changing circumstances.
Never mind that the swaddle sack was getting too small for you, and you were waking yourself up by busting out of the velcro a couple times a night anyway. It was what you were used to. You'd been sleeping in it for two months or so, which is nearly half your life. This newer, bigger sleeping apparatus is strange. You can kick your legs freely! With the optional swaddle feature, your arms are free to flail as well. Uncharted territory!
But my little darlings, this is among the first of many, many times you'll have to adjust to new circumstances. Before long, you know, you'll be eating solid food. You'll probably enjoy the different flavors and textures, but you won't like every food you try. Some days you might wish you could go back to just drinking milk rather than messing with all the coordination required to chew and swallow. If you only drink milk, though, eventually I think you'd fall off the growth curve - you must accept the change and adapt accordingly.
Really, isn't this what life is? Coping with change, adjusting to new situations, getting comfortable, and then changing again? Whether the changes are positive ones of our own choosing (new job, new house, new relationship) or maybe sad ones we never would have picked (lost job, breakup, death of a loved one), together they make up the sum of a life.
Oh boys, the changes you'll see! I hope we can teach you to be adaptable and enjoy new experiences as they come along. You see to be doing ok with the blankets now after a couple nights. Perhaps this bodes well for your future :)
Thursday, December 3, 2015
Jury Duty (part I)
Last week, I received a summons to report for jury duty on December 3. It had been mailed about a week earlier to my old address, but lucky for me, our mail forwarding is still in effect. The notice gave very few details about what to expect - it just told me to report to a certain address at 9AM. It also included a list of disqualifying factors for jury selection (such as being a convicted felon).
I decided to visit the website listed to find out more information. Unhelpfully, it only directed me to the Shelby County homepage, rather than the specific page for the jury commission. Go ahead, click on that last link there and see how...helpful...the webpage is. You'll notice a section entitled "Frequently Asked Questions" with no following text. Apparently no one has any questions about being on a jury!
The main question I had was: Can I please defer my service until my infant twins are a bit older? I decided to call the number listed. Well, it seems they only have one phone line or something because I literally called 20 times and got a busy signal before I finally got through. The lady who answered told me that on 12/3, I was simply coming to select a week to serve in the future, and it wouldn't take more than 1.5 hours that day. They also told me if I wanted to select a week perhaps in April or later, that would be no problem. They seemed unsympathetic to my situation as the primary caregiver of two babies.
Luckily, my husband had a couple vacation days he still needed to use up before the end of the year and was able to take the day off to stay home with the kids. So this morning, I drove downtown as instructed. (Sidebar: I don't think I've been downtown in almost a year!) I thought maybe there'd be a garage with free parking for jurors, but no such luck. I had to pay $10 to park in a lot across the street. Upon entering the juror room, I was shocked to see like 400 people there! And I found out there were 4 sessions today (9AM/11AM/1PM/3PM) so that means approximately 1200 people had to deal with this interruption in their regularly scheduled life today.
Promptly at 9AM, the meeting began, and I was done by 10AM. The Commissioner was professional and courteous in explaining the process, and I'm sure she's doing the best she can, but seriously Shelby Co., YOUR JURY SELECTION PROCESS IS EXTREMELY OUTDATED AND INEFFICIENT FOR THE 21ST CENTURY!
We were told that they're in the process of developing an online juror system. Oh lucky me, I got selected for the analog version. After the Commissioner told us about the required court dress code (no shorts, no tank tops) and a judge came by to give us a juror oath, we were allowed to pick our week of service. They offered 5 weeks (Jan 4-Feb 1). When they read off the week you wanted, you stood up, got in a line, and handed in your summons in exchange for a card with your assigned dates. After they took volunteers for those 5 weeks, the rest of us got in line to request an alternate week at a later date. I'm assuming they also were accepting documentation from people who weren't able to serve at all, but I left once I got my date.
Want to know how this could be better?
1) Online system. Obviously, they already know this and are working on it, but seriously it's almost 2016 and they don't have it yet???
2) Don't let people pick their week. It is such a huge waste of time to make everyone show up for an hour just to pick a later week of service. The Commissioner was touting the "pick your week" system as a good thing for Shelby Co., like they are offering great customer service. But it makes the process unnecessarily complicated. Just assign people a week, and if they have a conflict, let them object/reschedule.
3) Add some FAQs to the website
4) Offer childcare
5) Give free parking or parking validation, and bus passes for people who don't drive
6) Increase the jury commission's budget to make 1, 4 & 5 possible. (HA HA that's never going to happen in Shelby Co. where the only things the gov't wants to fund are police and fire departments)
For comparison's sake, here is what happened nearly a decade ago when I was summoned for jury duty in Washington DC.
-A few weeks in advance, I received a notice in the mail.
-The notice included detailed instructions for what to do.
-I was assigned 3 days to call in the night before, enter my code, and find out if I needed to report the following morning.
-As instructed, I called each night. I wasn't needed, so I never had to go anywhere or miss work/school for an unnecessary scheduling meeting!
I'll post Part II of this series after I serve my week, but that won't be until June so don't sit around obsessively refreshing your screen :)
I decided to visit the website listed to find out more information. Unhelpfully, it only directed me to the Shelby County homepage, rather than the specific page for the jury commission. Go ahead, click on that last link there and see how...helpful...the webpage is. You'll notice a section entitled "Frequently Asked Questions" with no following text. Apparently no one has any questions about being on a jury!
The main question I had was: Can I please defer my service until my infant twins are a bit older? I decided to call the number listed. Well, it seems they only have one phone line or something because I literally called 20 times and got a busy signal before I finally got through. The lady who answered told me that on 12/3, I was simply coming to select a week to serve in the future, and it wouldn't take more than 1.5 hours that day. They also told me if I wanted to select a week perhaps in April or later, that would be no problem. They seemed unsympathetic to my situation as the primary caregiver of two babies.
Luckily, my husband had a couple vacation days he still needed to use up before the end of the year and was able to take the day off to stay home with the kids. So this morning, I drove downtown as instructed. (Sidebar: I don't think I've been downtown in almost a year!) I thought maybe there'd be a garage with free parking for jurors, but no such luck. I had to pay $10 to park in a lot across the street. Upon entering the juror room, I was shocked to see like 400 people there! And I found out there were 4 sessions today (9AM/11AM/1PM/3PM) so that means approximately 1200 people had to deal with this interruption in their regularly scheduled life today.
Promptly at 9AM, the meeting began, and I was done by 10AM. The Commissioner was professional and courteous in explaining the process, and I'm sure she's doing the best she can, but seriously Shelby Co., YOUR JURY SELECTION PROCESS IS EXTREMELY OUTDATED AND INEFFICIENT FOR THE 21ST CENTURY!
We were told that they're in the process of developing an online juror system. Oh lucky me, I got selected for the analog version. After the Commissioner told us about the required court dress code (no shorts, no tank tops) and a judge came by to give us a juror oath, we were allowed to pick our week of service. They offered 5 weeks (Jan 4-Feb 1). When they read off the week you wanted, you stood up, got in a line, and handed in your summons in exchange for a card with your assigned dates. After they took volunteers for those 5 weeks, the rest of us got in line to request an alternate week at a later date. I'm assuming they also were accepting documentation from people who weren't able to serve at all, but I left once I got my date.
Want to know how this could be better?
1) Online system. Obviously, they already know this and are working on it, but seriously it's almost 2016 and they don't have it yet???
2) Don't let people pick their week. It is such a huge waste of time to make everyone show up for an hour just to pick a later week of service. The Commissioner was touting the "pick your week" system as a good thing for Shelby Co., like they are offering great customer service. But it makes the process unnecessarily complicated. Just assign people a week, and if they have a conflict, let them object/reschedule.
3) Add some FAQs to the website
4) Offer childcare
5) Give free parking or parking validation, and bus passes for people who don't drive
6) Increase the jury commission's budget to make 1, 4 & 5 possible. (HA HA that's never going to happen in Shelby Co. where the only things the gov't wants to fund are police and fire departments)
For comparison's sake, here is what happened nearly a decade ago when I was summoned for jury duty in Washington DC.
-A few weeks in advance, I received a notice in the mail.
-The notice included detailed instructions for what to do.
-I was assigned 3 days to call in the night before, enter my code, and find out if I needed to report the following morning.
-As instructed, I called each night. I wasn't needed, so I never had to go anywhere or miss work/school for an unnecessary scheduling meeting!
I'll post Part II of this series after I serve my week, but that won't be until June so don't sit around obsessively refreshing your screen :)
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