A Day in the Life, Year 7

This is everything that happened in my life on Friday, January 7, 2022. Location: Pasadena, CA.

Gus and Gibson are 6 1/2 years old.

6:30 AM Gus and Gibson wake up and crawl into our bed. They bring stuffed animals with them. Gus has a cheetah; Gibson has a family which includes a dog dad, unicorn mom, and baby dogicorn. Today the dog-unicorn family decides to adopt the cheetah as well. 

7:00 AM time to get ready for school. The kids are in first grade this year and have been attending in person since the beginning of the year, minus one week of quarantine due to positive COVID cases. I help them put on their uniforms, then make myself some coffee. I check my email to see negative COVID test results. The kids' school tests everyone on Wednesdays. 

7:20 AM Kindles turn off. I use the parental control functions to set time limits for them, and once they got used to it, it has been working well to keep our morning schedule moving along. Now it’s breakfast time. We have a standard breakfast menu that is hanging on the wall in the dining room. Gibson grabs a pencil and draws a picture of a cookie on it in hopes that it would join the permanent rotation along with toast, cereal, and waffles. Good try, ha ha.

7:42 AM we are out the door! Kids in puffy coats today because it is below 50 degrees. Too cold for Californians!

7:48 AM manage to drop off at school just before the bell rings. They get a squirt of hand sanitizer and temperature checks as they enter. I have upgraded their cloth masks to KN95 now as the Omicron variant is running rampant through LA county. Over 25% of the student body was absent on Tuesday. I stop to get gas at $4.45 a gallon.

8:10 AM Back at home, I eat breakfast then chat with DF. He works Monday-Thursday and has every Friday off. A few months ago, he had to start going back to the office about half time. I play some Duolingo, a language learning game. I want to keep my Spanish skills strong. Recently I’ve started Japanese as well. I like learning hiragana (one of the writing systems). It’s so different from English, and I think it is cool that humans have created such diverse ways to communicate. I play a few other games and scroll social media.

9:20 AM take shower. I try out some new skin care I received as Christmas presents, including a moisturizing eye cream and a spot/blemish controlling turmeric roller. 

9:50 AM Time for some work. I submit my first time sheet for paid employment since 2015. I just started a new job. This week was online training. It’s a temporary and part-time position administering a standardized test for the US Department of Education. It will be good to get something current on my resume.

Next I type up minutes from a school meeting yesterday. I am the secretary for the school PTA and one other committee this year, called ELAC - the English Learner Advisory Committee. For this one, the meeting is conducted in both English and Spanish, and I produce bilingual minutes. It definitely takes some extra brain power, and there is a bilingual staff member who reviews my work. She says I’m doing ok and it makes her job easier, so I guess I’ll keep it up.

10:00 AM DF takes the van in for an oil change. I will be commuting to different sites around LA and the surrounding suburbs, so I need to have my vehicle in good shape. 

10:30 AM Uncle Monte, DF´s brother, emerges from the guest room and greets me as he gets ready for work. He has been staying with us since the fall. He works swing shift as a delivery driver. 

10:45 AM I am done with the meeting minutes and have the house to myself. I crank up the Hamilton soundtrack while putting away laundry.

11:00 AM DF is back. We watch the latest episode of the Expanse. It’s a sci-fi show on Amazon Prime. Season 6 just started and I’m having a hard time remembering what happened in the previous 5 seasons, in part because most of the action happens on various space ships that all look similar to me…but I still enjoy it.

12:00 PM lunch time, then I wash some dishes and attempt a vinegar-baking soda solution for the hard water stains that have built up in one of our toilets. Oh such a glamorous life I lead. It worked somewhat but I need something stronger to really do the job. While waiting for the solution to do its thing, I read a social media post about vaccine mandates that is full of logical fallacies. I write a rebuttal in my head but decide not to actually post it.

12:40 PM meal planning. Since I will be working 2-3 days a week for the next couple of months I am doing what I can now to get organized. DF and I discuss some meal options, and I look up a few new ideas to add to the rotation. I make a spreadsheet of ideas. 

1:00 PM DF turns on the new Nintendo Switch to play Zelda. It was a whole family Christmas present. I ponder if the children would eat a casserole. I can’t recall them ever doing so… I put aside the meal planning project and read a book instead, “The City We Became” by N.K. Jemisin. I am on chapter 2 and I am already digging it! She is a great author. My latest Amazon order arrives, replacement parts for the robot vacuum, which is probably my favorite household tool. 

2:00 PM I leave to pick up the kids from school

2:50 PM return home. The school is a 2-3 minute drive from us. What takes so long? Their class comes out late, and they boys like to play on the steps outside the building. We walk across the street to the library to use the bathroom, but of course they have to fight about who is going to go inside first. They have been so loud inside the library lately that I make one of them wait outside with me while the other one goes inside. 

I get them a snack and set the 1 hour sand timer while they watch Daddy play Zelda. They get an hour of screen time before homework. I eat my own snack and putter around the house.

4:00 PM homework time, but first they request a piece of candy. They have a math worksheet, a book to read, and their snap (sight) words to review. They need a brain break between English and Spanish so they play Prodigy, a fun math game that involves battling wizards.

4:45 PM I head over to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. It's cold and foggy outside. My phone says it's 53 degrees but it feels colder. At home the kids are still playing prodigy. They take a pizza break, but get distracted by yogurt pretzels that I left on the table from earlier. Oops. I heat up some leftovers for myself, since I don't eat cheese.

5:30 PM homework is done and the guys are playing more Nintendo. I watch as the gamers beat the final Bowser boss on New Super Mario Bros! Fun animations at the end. I'm half watching thyen play, half scrolling on my phone. I have also poured myself a glass of Two Buck Chuck Cab Sav. Not that bad really, I usually get the red blend but Trader Joe's was out of it.

7:00 PM screens off, and the nightly WrestleMania begins. The rest of the routine includes snacks, read stories, go potty, and brush teeth. I manage to load and start the dishwasher, too. 

8:00 PM I tell the Goldilocks story tonight. Yes, this tradition continues! Tonight's tale is Among Us themed (the video game). Gus is an imposter, Gibson is a sniper, Mama Bear is a ninja, Baby Bear is a medic. I don't have to say much, as the boys pretty much tell their own story these days. One more potty break, several hugs and kisses, and by 8:20 I'm out of their room. Better than usual these days! 

8:28 PM Gibson calls me in to tell me he's scared of Huggy Wuggy. This is a character in a video game he has never seen or played, but it's apparently a popular thing to talk about to scare your classmates in first grade. I tell him to think about something happy like unicorns or candy rainbows. Gus says he's scared of furry tarantulas crawling in the window. They talk to each other for a bit and eventually quiet down. 

I eat a snack and veg out on the couch until bed time.

9:55 PM I get ready for bed as another day in the life comes to a close.

A Day in the Life, Year 5

Everything I did on Friday, January 3, 2020
Location: Pasadena, CA

6:30am Gibson crawls in our bed and wakes me up

6:50am I get out of bed to cough and blow my nose for awhile. I've been battling a cold/laryngitis/possible bronchitis for a week. It's getting old.

7:00am Make a cup of tea. It does not taste like vinegar, thankfully. My electric kettle had a bunch of mineral deposits on it yesterday so I tried a vinegar soak. Now it's nice and clean. I find a package of Hawaiian hot dog buns in the cupboard that need to be used up so I toast two and add PB&J for breakfast.

7:15am Gibson comes into the kitchen pretending to be Gus because he wants the jelly bean Gus is owed from last night (our current bribe for using the bathroom by oneself). I feed them some generic Lucky Charms. They mainly eat the marshmallows.

7:30am the boys go back to bed to jump on Daddy. DF switched to a new job this year where the vacation time schedule is very flexible, and he was able to take two full weeks off for the holidays. We've definitely enjoyed having him home! I text our relatives in San Diego that we won't make it down to visit this weekend, since I'm still sick. We'll have to celebrate our belated Christmas even more belatedly, I guess.

7:50am Remember that it's the first Friday of the year and I need to start writing this list. DF and boys get up and play blocks in the playroom (Whomp Kings, a game they made up). I hang out with them for awhile.

8:15am Unload the dishwasher. It has been leaking lately. I clean out the "gunk" trap over the drain, which is super gross. Hopefully that will help. Wash dishes still hanging out in the sink from last year (ha ha). We had company for a week over New Years and we're still recovering. DF and kids are playing Lego Star Wars on Wii now. I take a long hot shower and inhale as much steam as I can before my California guilt kicks in about wasting water. I decide to be brave and wear contact lenses today. We had pink eye making the rounds here so I was wary of sticking my fingers in my eyes, but the kids seem to have recovered fully. Try to install the new phone screen protector I got for Christmas. Drat, it's the wrong size.

9:15am Gibson requests a cookie. More tea for me. Clean off the pile of stuff that has accumulated on the top of our dryer, the family temporary storage area. Send a Christmas card that got returned for an old address. Read the news about impending war with Iran. Try not to despair about the state of the world.

10:00am Time for more Mucinex. Watch the Wii game. Gibson is whining sooo much about the game my ears are about to explode. DF turns it off and takes a shower. The kids and I play "what animal am I thinking of?" and other pretending games.

11:00am I eat black eyed peas and greens for lunch. More good luck coming my way! The boys are playing Legos. They eat some beef jerky, apple slices, and corn muffins. Gus blows muffin crumbs all over the place. He informs me his New Year's resolution is to make more messes. <eyeroll> We have a discussion about death, the afterlife, and options for disposal of bodies. This is a fairly common topic of conversation.

11:30am DF takes the boys to a thrift store to look at toys because they want to spend their Christmas money. While they are out, I run the robot vacuum and do some laundry. I get deeply involved in making a "decade in review" post on Instagram, scouring my photo archives for images to represent the spectrum of my life for the last 10 years. I also reply to some messages that come in from a volunteer organization I work with. We are making plans for our 2020 fundraiser. Just as the boys come back, I field a call related to the fundraiser and croak out some words on the phone for 10 minutes. Doing so makes me feel like a productive member of society.

1:15pm Shoppers return home. They are loaded down with swords, light sabers, smash balls, Legos, and other things I don't recognize.

1:30pm Snack time - granola and frozen blueberries. We all play with the new toys. I trim my fingernails and convince the boys to sit on the front stoop so I can trim theirs, too. DF assembles 26 smash balls.

2:40pm all smash balls have been destroyed. They contain little rubber sports-themed figures. I drink more tea and do more laundry. The kids picked up some banks at the store and want to transfer all their coins from their previous banks to the new ones. We practice some Spanish - hola, adios, te amo - because we're planning to send the boys to a dual language Spanish program for elementary school. I send the robot vacuum to the back of the house.

3:40pm cracker snack. Watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. I install a new game on my phone because I recently got a new phone and am going crazy enjoying all the memory space, lol.

4:25pm load and run dishwasher. Fold laundry. The kids are watching Super Wings.

4:45pm turn off the TV. Attempt to get the kids out the door to a restaurant for dinner. They attack me with light sabers.

5:05pm They are finally dressed. (They had been wearing PJs all day. I let them wear PJs nearly whenever they want because soon enough they'll have to get dressed in a uniform for school every day. If they whine about it, I plan to say, "Remember when you were little and you used to wear your pajamas all day every day? That was nice, huh? Now you are big kids who go to school, so you need to wear your uniform.") We finally leave at 5:15. Stop by the UPS store to return my phone screen protector to Amazon. I don't even have to put it in a box. Whoa, such service. We eat dinner at our favorite diner that has a special with 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, and 3 drinks for $11.99. The boys share a burger (and don't even finish it) and I drink water, so it's a great deal for our family! On the way home, we try to pick up an item from our local Buy Nothing group but the family wasn't home.

6:40pm We're home. I unload the dishwasher, which did not leak on the floor. Yay! The kids are excited to see their toys again.

6:50pm Take anti-anxiety medicine, my current best friend. Drink more tea. Motivate the kids to clean up the playroom by rebuilding one smash ball for each small amount of cleaning effort.

7:45pm Snack time. Gibson requests peanut butter on a spoon. Gus ignores my repeated warnings of bedtime approaching.

8:00pm Time to get ready for bed. Gus, predictably, objects that he didn't get a snack. He scarfs down a few pretzels while Gibson brushes his teeth.

8:15pm DF tells them a bedtime story. It's still called a "Goldilocks" story and bears little resemblance to the traditional narrative. Usually, I do it but we've reached the point in the evening where my voice has faded and the coughing intensifies. I go to make a cup of (disgusting, licorice) Throat Coat tea. While I'm waiting for the water to boil, I read the ingredients and notice it has cinnamon bark. Whoops, I'm allergic to cinnamon! I'm off the hook and choose Sleepytime Vanilla instead. Write some Amazon product reviews while sipping tea.

8:35pm Children are loudly singing the rainbow song from their beds. I go in and tell them it's time to quiet down. After one last hug and drink of water, they go to sleep. DF and I watch a few episodes of Undone, a new Amazon show that is really trippy.

9:45pm I take Mucinex and vitamins and head to bed, propped up on 4 pillows.

Thanks for reading! You can check out previous days in the life here:
2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 <-- the most exhausting one

4 Years

Happy 4th birthday to Gus and Gibson! Here is what they are up to these days.

Creative play

• They love to play creatively together. They try to include the whole family when both parents are available. Many evenings have passed with them hopping back and forth on the couch as they pretend to be various Mario Bros. characters. DF and I are assigned to be Bowsers, or sometimes good guys. 
• Everything can transform, when they are imagining. They can go from magic carrot to butterfly to zapping robot in the span of thirty seconds. It's hard to keep up :)
• At night, they want me to make up a bedtime story for them. They tell me what should be in the story. Last night, Gus was a treasure chest and Gibson was a baby bunny who lost his family. 
• We went camping last month - stayed in a cabin. Although they had been running around playing outside all day, they seemed almost compelled into creating a pretend scenario before bedtime that involved crawling through a blanket on their dad's lap.

Physical development

• Both are expert balance bike riders. Gibson always wants to go in front down hills and is a bit of a daredevil. Gus usually lets his brother go first, though he also has a need for speed.]
• DF and the boys like to race their scooters in the alley behind our house
• They love to climb higher than my nerves enjoy - playground equipment, trees, etc

Academics

• After one semester of preschool, we decided to pull them out of school at the end of last year. It was just too much for all of us.
• We attend a local tuition-free Parent Education program, which has been awesome. It's like a preschool where the parents and kids stay together for part of the time.
• They know their letters and can count to 20, with minor confusion in the teens
• We're big into science experiments these days (slime, de-oxidizing pennies, soaking raisins, nature exploration, oobleck)
• Their video game education has begun. They're knowledgeable about all the Super Mario Galaxy characters/planets/lumas. They can sort of drive in Burnout (Gamecube). They like slicing stuff and bad guys on Wii Sports Resort in the swordplay levels. 

Social

• For the most part, they like going to Sunday School at church and have made friends there
• They think "big kids" are cool, like to follow them around, and try to do whatever they are doing (anyone older than say 6). They even joined in a water balloon fight recently without a melt down!
• They generally find babies annoying. We are doing our best to help them form a good relationship with their 18 month old cousin. Gibson was proud of himself during her most recent visit because "I only kicked her one time today!"
• Gus is more of the rule follower and enforcer. He likes to be helpful. 
• Gibson is more mischievous and will see what he can get away with. He loves to laugh.
• They fight with each other a lot and also play together fairly well
• Both boys are super attached to me, sometimes to the point of clinginess. I'm hoping they grow out of it before kindergarten...

Language

• They talk A LOT! I am biased but feel their vocabulary is extensive for their age. People can usually understand their speech. They don't have any "twin language" that I'm aware of.
• Gibson likes to tell us bedtime stories. They even have some plot to them!
• They are getting better with pronouns. Still confusion on male-female and also he/him she/her.
• Their past tense verbs are creative. Made-ed, eat-ed, put-ed
• Pronunciation seems pretty age-appropriate. They still have lots of cute things they say, like "gwish" instead of "squish." Hey, stop gwishing me!  Neither of them say r correctly all the time. Gus's sounds like /w/ while Gibson says /y/. That confuses me sometimes (run could be wun or yun).
• They use multi-syllable words with no problem, like camouflage, elephant, and Saturday. But then they drop the first syllable of other words, like (con)troller, (ma)chine, (with)out, (dis)penser. Actually that last one is pronounced fencer, as in Gus, you be a candy fencer and I will be an ice cream 'chine.

People told me raising twins would get easier, and you know what? They were right. The first 1.5 years are kind of a blur. I'm glad I took photos/videos and recorded my thoughts on this blog. But really, now I feel like I just have two kids who happen to be the same age, and in a lot of ways, that's great!

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

That Twin Life

The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.

Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.

As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!

It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.

Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.

There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.

For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?

Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!

Moving Will Solve All My Problems

With our home purchase set to close later this week (God willing/si Dios quiere/inshallah), I'm feeling anxious, reflective, and hopeful. I've moved a lot in life. It tends to stir up a mixture of emotions/perspectives, but one that I've noticed most often is totally misplaced optimism about changes that will result.

Example: When we moved from Seattle to Memphis (in 2013) I was sure that I would break my addiction to Cheetos. Why? I thought that because I'd be working from home, I'd have time to make myself more healthy snacks. LOL! Sure, I had time, but I had no motivation. Actually, I stopped eating Cheetos and all milk products not long after arriving in California last year because my body just wouldn't let me eat dairy anymore. That wasn't my plan, but it's how life turned out.

And now in 2018, I've pretty much convinced myself that as soon as we move from an apartment to house here in Pasadena, our lives are going to completely change for the better. Here are some of my hopes and dreams.

• We are going to have a dining room table where my children will sit and eat their meals. We will all eat together as a family. I will have a weekly menu board and cook/meal plan tasty dinners that all 4 family members will like.
  
• Of course I will no longer be crouching on the floor next to the couch feeding the children bites of peanut butter bagel for breakfast while they watch Octonauts.
  
• I will create an amazingly functional organization system for the new playroom. Our home will no longer be strewn with toys in every corner of every room. My children will pick up their toys. (Confession: I cracked myself up by typing that last sentence!)
  
• My children will play in the backyard with minimal supervision giving me copious amounts of free time to implement all of my above plans. They will explore and get dirty but not seriously injure/maim themselves while doing so.

Realistic expectations? Probably not. But a girl can dream...

3 Years

Happy third birthday to Gus and Gibson! I've been looking forward to this day when they could play with all the "ages 3+" toys without choking on anything. Ha ha! Actually, they have stopped putting everything in their mouths, so I suppose that's a good sign.

Language
I am not really concerned about them having a speech delay anymore, because they chatter all the time. One issue is that they still use "me" as a subject pronoun, instead of "I." So far I'm just continuing to model correct grammar without making a point to correct them. I figure they'll catch on eventually. In the meantime, it makes for some adorable expressions.

Gibson, tearfully at the park when trying to describe a snack, "No me know me talking about!"
(Turns out, he wanted to eat bunny grahams)

They use the word "love" frequently
Me: Please don't bite your brother
Gibson: But me loooove bite Gus!

I hand Gus a sandwich on an orange plate.
Gus (frowning): Ahh! No me love orange things!

They haven't started asking "why?" yet, but they do ask a lot of questions. Lately, they want to know what everything eats, including animals, plants, the cast of Octonauts, and non-living things like rainbows. Their syntax is, "Mommy, giraffe-es eat?" (The plural of giraffe is 3 syllables)

Pronunciation of some sounds is hit or miss. My current favorite word is "zizzors" (aka scissors)

Physical Milestones
We gave them balance bikes today for their birthdays. They rode around at the park for quite awhile without any major incidents. "Rode" isn't the right word - it was just walking with the bike underneath them. But it actually went better than I thought, so I'm sure they'll be zooming around before long.

They can run fairly fast without tripping.

Potty training hasn't been successful yet. We have a September deadline or else they can't start preschool, so yeah, better get on that soon...

Fine Motor Skills
They make tiny little blobs out of Playdoh.

They're doing better holding crayons/markers, except they don't like to be constrained to decorating only paper.

They are starting to grasp the concept of water color painting.

Personalities
We continue to see unique personalities develop.

Gibson likes to be silly. He is usually resilient and adaptable.

Gus is the rule enforcer. He's got a tender heart.

They are both playful, enjoy music, and are a bit wary of new people.

Overall
They have become little kids. They like babies, but they definitely don't consider themselves babies. They are more interested in playing with other kids at parks and etc. With them starting preschool in the fall and our family hopefully moving to a new home, I expect we'll see all sorts of changes in the year ahead!

Where to Be Rich in LA

House hunting brings out the demographer/sociologist in me. I haven't lived here long enough to have a total handle on what are the "good" and "bad" areas, but I'm starting to get some ideas.

(I apologize in advance for all the feathers I'm about to ruffle.)

Areas that are good tend to have:

• Rich people
• White people
• Maybe Asian people
• "Good" schools as defined by a score of 8+ on Great Schools
• Well-funded public services
• Crime that is not overt

Areas that are bad tend to have:

• Poor people
• Brown people
• Black people
• Asian people who aren't integrated into mainstream American culture
• "Bad" schools (scores 1-3)
• Poorly funded public services
• Visible crime, graffiti, gangs
• Noise and/or pollution

You know what I see as the main differences on these lists? Socioeconomic status and race. So if I ask myself, "Where should we live?" what I'm really wondering is, what kind of white people are we? Statistically speaking, our income puts us in the third quartile for Pasadena (between 50-75% of median). I feel awkward calling myself rich, but I think it might be true.

Then I see these lists like "Best Places to Raise a Family Around LA" which should be titled "Where Rich People Live." I mean seriously, #1 on the list is Manhattan Beach, where the average sales price of a three bedroom home is $1.8 million. So I guess my family is richer than we are poor, but we're not rich rich.

The point I'm trying to make here is that one can't just choose to be rich. In many cases, the deck is stacked against you from the start. And we can't keep using socioeconomic status as a proxy variable for everything in life. Which leads me to the following scatter plot:



(If that's not displaying properly on your device, or you'd like to see the supporting data, click here.)

What are we seeing in this chart? 
A correlation between a school's rating on Great Schools and the percentage of its student body that is low income, which means qualifying for free or reduced-price lunch. (As an aside, that is really poor around here because there's no adjustment made to the calculations to factor in cost of living in your particular area within the lower 48 states.)

What are we not seeing?
A large portion of the not-low-income families in Pasadena that are not represented on this chart, because their children aren't enrolled in these schools.

Pasadena Unified School District has kind of a mixed reputation around here. In the 1970s, the district was ordered to bus students to end de-facto segregation, a bit of history I haven't found anyone too eager to talk about. As of 2016, only 55% of students living in PUSD boundaries attended public schools. The rest are in charter, private, home school, or transfer out of the district. At the same time, there are several schools with new magnet programs focused on STEM, Arts, and IB, and they also offer dual language options. I'm familiar with a group called Pasadena Education Network that seems to be doing good work towards promoting integrated schools. So overall, I'm observing some positive trajectory.

Where should I try to buy a house, then? (I mean, assuming we stay in Pasadena. We also have been looking around Glendale and Eagle Rock, which is a whole other ball of wax.) To complicate matters, PUSD offers open enrollment, meaning that if you don't want your student to attend your neighborhood school, you can go through a lottery system to obtain a seat for your child at a different school. So it doesn't even really matter, school-wise, where we buy because we can put the kids in a different school. We just have to give them a ride.

But you see that? How privileged am I that the need to provide transportation daily to/from a school a few miles away wouldn't even give me pause? We are a two parent family with only one of us working outside the home right now. We have the resources to pay for a vehicle, gas, and insurance. I'm not trying to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table here. And I have the mental bandwidth to think about all these things two years before my kids will even start kindergarten.

What a world we live in.

If you want to learn more about these topics, here are some resources I recommend:

• How America's Public Schools Keep Kids in Poverty (TED talk by Kandice Sumner)
• Follow Integrated Schools on Facebook
• "The Problem with Great Schools" inspired me to write this post

2.75 years

My babies are not babies anymore! Soon, they'll be turning three. I'll try to savor these last few months of year two while they last :)

Language
The highlight lately, for sure. They are always cracking me up with the funny things they say! Here's how they say things, creatively.

Counting: 1, 3, 2, 5, 2, 3
Any letters or numbers: Hey, ABCs!
Sideways: sidewards
Slippery: slippy
Peanut butter: pea burr
Milk: nilk
Smash: mash ("cars no mash me" they say in the parking garage)
Motorcycle: sa-sy-oh (I think? I never have any idea what they are saying for like the first 3 attempts, so then I guess "motorcycle?" and I'm sometimes right)

Some of their favorite expressions include "more" or "too." Example, "more pillows!" says Gibson, every time he's building a fort. They object to things by using too + adjective. Gus didn't want to try gyoza because "too slimy." They can't get on an elevator because "too much people." I have to get the fruit snack off their finger after they squished it up because "toooooo sticky!"

They've figured out the pronouns "you" and "me." Their current favorite fight in the back seat of the van is to mock the person in the sun by saying, "You sunny side! Me shady side!"

Understanding the World
They are convinced that animals pee out of their tails, so they think tails are really funny. I've tried explaining animal anatomy to them, but they don't believe me. However, I'm wary of proving my point by Googling "anatomically correct pictures of animals"...

They remember stuff that surprises me. We had a doctor's appointment, and a week later they remembered the doctor's name, which I'd maybe said twice. Whoa!

They love to laugh! Yesterday, we were watching a show with a couch that sprouted propellers and starting flying around, and they were literally falling over laughing about that. I didn't get why it was so hilarious, but I enjoyed listening to them giggle :)

They understand when I am not happy. But, sort of annoyingly, they ask me about it by saying, "Mommy happy mommy?" This most often happens when I'm scowling about the food they just dumped on the floor or similar events. I've tried responding along the lines of, "No, I'm not happy right now. You are not responsible for my emotions. I'm feeling frustrated about this mess." We recently made a calm-down corner with soothing toys, so sometimes I take a break there to calm down. Meanwhile, the boys just want to fight over the sensory items I got, so yeah, work in progress still...

We tried to convert their cribs into toddler beds a couple weeks ago. It was a disaster. The four crib walls are solidly back in place. Sometimes they ask for "no crib" now but I tell them we're going to wait till they're a little older to try again. They just could not stay in bed - the two of them egg each other on to increasing levels of chaos. And I don't like them frolicking around their bedroom in the dark for all the reasons you can imagine, plus some you can't. For example, we have a rocking chair that spins. One kid climbs into the chair while brother runs in a circle to spin him around, until the runner trips over a toy, or crashes into the wall, or the passenger decides he'd like to exit the ride without alerting the operator first...

Physical Milestones
Gus is solidly jumping now. It's kind of a gallop/jump, where his feet lift off the ground 1-2 instead of simultaneous, but I think it counts.

We went to a St. Patrick's Day festival on Saturday where they tried Irish dancing and managed to lift up and kick one leg without falling over. Then they started freestyling with spins and such :)

I recently took them to a park with a tall boulder climb. It was maybe 8 feet at the top. They both scurried right up the rocks, but only Gus was able to scoot back down; I had to rescue Gibson. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's starting to understand the effects of gravity.

They can go up and down stairs without holding the hand rail, albeit precariously. I wish they would hold the rail, especially in our apartment stairwell that we sometimes use as a short cut, but that rail has been deemed "too dirty, Mommy".

It's been a good few months here in Salmonista land. Having twin babies is insanity, but twin toddlers are pretty fun!

A Day in the Life, Year 3

It's time for my annual post, "What I did all day." I started this tradition when the boys were first born and I'll keep going as long as I remember :)  On the first Friday of January (that is not January 1st), I record everything I do over the course of the day. Since my kids are generally with me, it's also a log of their activities.

The rule I have for myself is that I should try to have a normal day - not doing special things just because I want everyone on the internet to know how cool I am. And I don't have to publish every single happening, especially if it involves something like bodily functions that may embarrass the children in the future.

I can tell I have more time on my hands these days and/or more functional brain cells b/c my notes from today are rather long!

January 5, 2018
Location: Pasadena, CA

12:00a All quiet on the sleeping front

6:48a I wake up, just 2  minutes before DF's alarm. This is progress! I had been waking up at 6 but just hiding under my pillow to read Facebook on my phone. Sleeping is a better use of time. Today I read a couple parenting articles while DF takes a shower, even though I've told myself I need to stop reading so much and just be a parent...

I take a shower and get dressed. The kids are still sleeping so I address our last Christmas card to send out (returned due to old address) and make some coffee.

7:43a Hear a cough from the boys' room. They've been a bit congested lately. I wonder if anyone is sick. Put away dishes and eat some breakfast. We don't have a dining room table, so I sit on the couch to eat my cereal and don't slosh milk anywhere. Yay!

8:10a Hear more coughing, so I go into the kids' room to find they are both awake. Gus immediately reports that Gibson has been coughing. Is he worried about his brother? I get them both out of their cribs.

8:20a OH MY WORD I have already heard the word "me" at least 40 times, including "me-self," "me do it," "me first," "me chair," etc.... I was thinking about recording how many times they say "me" in a day but realize I would drive myself insane so give up on that idea. They are eating frozen microwave mini pancakes for breakfast, which the boys insist on helping make (so I have to lift them up and down to reach the microwave buttons). The pancakes are driving wheels and castles today, I am told.

8:40a Start getting boys dressed and changing diapers

8:55a They are both finally clothed. Interlude there where Gus wants yells "ah! ah!" at the trains from the balcony. They start fighting over their toy cash register and want to take out the batteries. I try to explain the concept of batteries to them. They don't care.

9:00a I realize we need to go to the grocery store b/c we're almost out of bread. Then I look at the Vons ad and see all these deals I can't pass up. Vons is the only store where I'll take the boys by myself because they have 2-seater driving wheel carts.

9:20a depart for store. We get the fire truck cart today. They sing "wee-ooh! wee-ooh!" with gusto up and down the aisles and only yank one item off a shelf. Not a bad shopping trip! But I buy way too much stuff.

10:20a back home. They help me carry the groceries up from the parking garage, sort of. At least they both walk the whole way. They eat a yogurt snack while I put the food away. Gibson refuses to eat the blueberries in his yogurt, which is unfortunate as the brand I bought is advertising "now with more fruit."

10:40a I turn on the TV so I can cook in peace. I bought a bunch of ground turkey, so I'm cooking it now and will freeze it in 1 pound packs for future meals.

11:10a We go down to the leasing office to pick up an Amazon package that arrived yesterday. Along the way, we visit the pool, outside fountain, mailbox, and the dry cleaning drop off with beeping buttons on their lockers.

11:30a Home, and time for lunch. They mainly eat cantaloupe and smash up their peanut butter sandwiches. They add an extra "w" sound and pronounce it "swan-wich," which I find adorable.

11:50a Done with lunch, so now they are using the momentum of rocking their bodies back and forth to roll their high chairs across the kitchen floor, and cracking themselves up. After they get down, they want me to play with them in their closet where they close the door and turn on two singing toys, but not to the same song. This is not my favorite game! They pretend to fix things, ask me to read the same book 3 times, and start fighting over a bus toy.

12:35p I'm tired of listening to fights, so I turn the TV on and give them a snack while I eat some lunch, clean the kitchen.

1:05p In bed for nap time. I eat some more, start a load of laundry, and hide the fruit cups I just bought in the back of a cupboard.

1:15p Gus is squealing. I give him some books to look at. Gibson is already asleep.

During their nap, I cut up some chicken to go in the freezer, take out a precariously full sack of garbage, throw my other neighbors' trash down the chute that they leave in the trash room b/c apparently I'm the floor mom, and wash dishes. I have a weekly chore chart for myself, which I do allow myself to slack on but not this week b/c we're just back from 2 weeks of vacation and I was slacking before that :) So today is cleaning the countertops and dusting, plus laundry. Then I sweep the kitchen because of course when I wipe off the counters, I make a mess. I go down to the garage to retrieve the last load of groceries. It takes 4 minutes. I hope no one is going to judge me too harshly for leaving my sleeping children unattended... Then I eat a snack while checking FB/IG. Send some emails and make a phone call for general life stuff.

2:50p Everyone is still asleep, so I sit down to read chapter 1 of my new library book, The Cross & the Lynching Tree. It seems like a good complement to another book I read recently, Just Mercy.

3:20p Hear a creature stirring in the bedroom. Both of them are awake, but Gibson doesn't want to get out of bed for awhile. We all play trucks.

3:55p Applesauce snack, then off to the park. There's a park across the street from our apartment complex, which is one of my favorite things about our location! I pull the kids in their wagon. A drunk guy greets us at the crosswalk and tries to get high 5s from the boys. They eye him warily, as do I. At the park, they go on their favorite things - swing, rolling slide, bouncy bridge. I help them on the monkey bars, and their grip strength is improving.

5:00p Finally back home. It takes us about 15 minutes from the entry door to our apartment b/c they have to admire everyone's decorations, run up and down the hallway, spin in circles by the elevator, try to reach out a window and grab a tree...

5:15p DF arrives home. Boys have been screaming a lot the last 15 minutes. He convinces them to eat some dinner. After they are done, they crawl and DF pretending he is a car while I eat dinner. Then we switch places, except I don't know how to be a car as well as Daddy does, according to the boys.

6:20p Gibson sounds a bit hoarse. I'm worried he's getting croup. His temperature is 99.0. WebMD says to keep him calm, but the boys are currently climbing on a cushion fort. He is coughing so I nix the cushion play and tell them they can pick a movie to watch instead.

6:30p They pick Caillou...siiiiiigh. Luckily it's a video with a bunch of short episodes and they agree to switch to Land Before Time after the first little show. I clean up dinner while they watch TV and eat snacks, then we all snuggle on the couch for awhile.

7:40p Bath time. Lots of roaring dinosaur splashing inspired by their recent viewing, I suspect.

8:10p Out of the bath, try to get them to play calmly with trucks and avoid cushion chaos. Gibson still sounds like his throat is scratchy.

8:30p Bedtime. The routine includes brush teeth, read a Bible story + 2 books, songs, prayer, hugs, goodnight. Gibson's temp is 99.3 but he's not coughing very much. While I'm finishing up with the boys, I send DF downstairs to our local tap house to fill up our growler because TGIF.

9:00p Boys in bed. This time schedule is pretty normal for us, lately. While we were traveling for the holidays they kept staying up late and sleeping in. It's working ok, I guess, but sometimes we do need to get moving earlier in the mornings. Hmm, we shall see how it goes.

DF returns with a beer called White Ghost. It's a Berliner Weisse, a sour. It's different than what I usually drink, but it's pretty good.

I move a second load of laundry to the dryer, start the dishwasher, and type of this novella of my day.

I hope I don't jinx myself by publishing tonight! If anything noteworthy happens in the next 90 minutes, I'll be sure to update the post. As it is, I'm about to head off to bed, after I fold the mountain of laundry currently covering my sleeping surface...