A Day in the Life, Year 7

This is everything that happened in my life on Friday, January 7, 2022. Location: Pasadena, CA.

Gus and Gibson are 6 1/2 years old.

6:30 AM Gus and Gibson wake up and crawl into our bed. They bring stuffed animals with them. Gus has a cheetah; Gibson has a family which includes a dog dad, unicorn mom, and baby dogicorn. Today the dog-unicorn family decides to adopt the cheetah as well. 

7:00 AM time to get ready for school. The kids are in first grade this year and have been attending in person since the beginning of the year, minus one week of quarantine due to positive COVID cases. I help them put on their uniforms, then make myself some coffee. I check my email to see negative COVID test results. The kids' school tests everyone on Wednesdays. 

7:20 AM Kindles turn off. I use the parental control functions to set time limits for them, and once they got used to it, it has been working well to keep our morning schedule moving along. Now it’s breakfast time. We have a standard breakfast menu that is hanging on the wall in the dining room. Gibson grabs a pencil and draws a picture of a cookie on it in hopes that it would join the permanent rotation along with toast, cereal, and waffles. Good try, ha ha.

7:42 AM we are out the door! Kids in puffy coats today because it is below 50 degrees. Too cold for Californians!

7:48 AM manage to drop off at school just before the bell rings. They get a squirt of hand sanitizer and temperature checks as they enter. I have upgraded their cloth masks to KN95 now as the Omicron variant is running rampant through LA county. Over 25% of the student body was absent on Tuesday. I stop to get gas at $4.45 a gallon.

8:10 AM Back at home, I eat breakfast then chat with DF. He works Monday-Thursday and has every Friday off. A few months ago, he had to start going back to the office about half time. I play some Duolingo, a language learning game. I want to keep my Spanish skills strong. Recently I’ve started Japanese as well. I like learning hiragana (one of the writing systems). It’s so different from English, and I think it is cool that humans have created such diverse ways to communicate. I play a few other games and scroll social media.

9:20 AM take shower. I try out some new skin care I received as Christmas presents, including a moisturizing eye cream and a spot/blemish controlling turmeric roller. 

9:50 AM Time for some work. I submit my first time sheet for paid employment since 2015. I just started a new job. This week was online training. It’s a temporary and part-time position administering a standardized test for the US Department of Education. It will be good to get something current on my resume.

Next I type up minutes from a school meeting yesterday. I am the secretary for the school PTA and one other committee this year, called ELAC - the English Learner Advisory Committee. For this one, the meeting is conducted in both English and Spanish, and I produce bilingual minutes. It definitely takes some extra brain power, and there is a bilingual staff member who reviews my work. She says I’m doing ok and it makes her job easier, so I guess I’ll keep it up.

10:00 AM DF takes the van in for an oil change. I will be commuting to different sites around LA and the surrounding suburbs, so I need to have my vehicle in good shape. 

10:30 AM Uncle Monte, DF´s brother, emerges from the guest room and greets me as he gets ready for work. He has been staying with us since the fall. He works swing shift as a delivery driver. 

10:45 AM I am done with the meeting minutes and have the house to myself. I crank up the Hamilton soundtrack while putting away laundry.

11:00 AM DF is back. We watch the latest episode of the Expanse. It’s a sci-fi show on Amazon Prime. Season 6 just started and I’m having a hard time remembering what happened in the previous 5 seasons, in part because most of the action happens on various space ships that all look similar to me…but I still enjoy it.

12:00 PM lunch time, then I wash some dishes and attempt a vinegar-baking soda solution for the hard water stains that have built up in one of our toilets. Oh such a glamorous life I lead. It worked somewhat but I need something stronger to really do the job. While waiting for the solution to do its thing, I read a social media post about vaccine mandates that is full of logical fallacies. I write a rebuttal in my head but decide not to actually post it.

12:40 PM meal planning. Since I will be working 2-3 days a week for the next couple of months I am doing what I can now to get organized. DF and I discuss some meal options, and I look up a few new ideas to add to the rotation. I make a spreadsheet of ideas. 

1:00 PM DF turns on the new Nintendo Switch to play Zelda. It was a whole family Christmas present. I ponder if the children would eat a casserole. I can’t recall them ever doing so… I put aside the meal planning project and read a book instead, “The City We Became” by N.K. Jemisin. I am on chapter 2 and I am already digging it! She is a great author. My latest Amazon order arrives, replacement parts for the robot vacuum, which is probably my favorite household tool. 

2:00 PM I leave to pick up the kids from school

2:50 PM return home. The school is a 2-3 minute drive from us. What takes so long? Their class comes out late, and they boys like to play on the steps outside the building. We walk across the street to the library to use the bathroom, but of course they have to fight about who is going to go inside first. They have been so loud inside the library lately that I make one of them wait outside with me while the other one goes inside. 

I get them a snack and set the 1 hour sand timer while they watch Daddy play Zelda. They get an hour of screen time before homework. I eat my own snack and putter around the house.

4:00 PM homework time, but first they request a piece of candy. They have a math worksheet, a book to read, and their snap (sight) words to review. They need a brain break between English and Spanish so they play Prodigy, a fun math game that involves battling wizards.

4:45 PM I head over to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. It's cold and foggy outside. My phone says it's 53 degrees but it feels colder. At home the kids are still playing prodigy. They take a pizza break, but get distracted by yogurt pretzels that I left on the table from earlier. Oops. I heat up some leftovers for myself, since I don't eat cheese.

5:30 PM homework is done and the guys are playing more Nintendo. I watch as the gamers beat the final Bowser boss on New Super Mario Bros! Fun animations at the end. I'm half watching thyen play, half scrolling on my phone. I have also poured myself a glass of Two Buck Chuck Cab Sav. Not that bad really, I usually get the red blend but Trader Joe's was out of it.

7:00 PM screens off, and the nightly WrestleMania begins. The rest of the routine includes snacks, read stories, go potty, and brush teeth. I manage to load and start the dishwasher, too. 

8:00 PM I tell the Goldilocks story tonight. Yes, this tradition continues! Tonight's tale is Among Us themed (the video game). Gus is an imposter, Gibson is a sniper, Mama Bear is a ninja, Baby Bear is a medic. I don't have to say much, as the boys pretty much tell their own story these days. One more potty break, several hugs and kisses, and by 8:20 I'm out of their room. Better than usual these days! 

8:28 PM Gibson calls me in to tell me he's scared of Huggy Wuggy. This is a character in a video game he has never seen or played, but it's apparently a popular thing to talk about to scare your classmates in first grade. I tell him to think about something happy like unicorns or candy rainbows. Gus says he's scared of furry tarantulas crawling in the window. They talk to each other for a bit and eventually quiet down. 

I eat a snack and veg out on the couch until bed time.

9:55 PM I get ready for bed as another day in the life comes to a close.

A Day in the Life, Year 5

Everything I did on Friday, January 3, 2020
Location: Pasadena, CA

6:30am Gibson crawls in our bed and wakes me up

6:50am I get out of bed to cough and blow my nose for awhile. I've been battling a cold/laryngitis/possible bronchitis for a week. It's getting old.

7:00am Make a cup of tea. It does not taste like vinegar, thankfully. My electric kettle had a bunch of mineral deposits on it yesterday so I tried a vinegar soak. Now it's nice and clean. I find a package of Hawaiian hot dog buns in the cupboard that need to be used up so I toast two and add PB&J for breakfast.

7:15am Gibson comes into the kitchen pretending to be Gus because he wants the jelly bean Gus is owed from last night (our current bribe for using the bathroom by oneself). I feed them some generic Lucky Charms. They mainly eat the marshmallows.

7:30am the boys go back to bed to jump on Daddy. DF switched to a new job this year where the vacation time schedule is very flexible, and he was able to take two full weeks off for the holidays. We've definitely enjoyed having him home! I text our relatives in San Diego that we won't make it down to visit this weekend, since I'm still sick. We'll have to celebrate our belated Christmas even more belatedly, I guess.

7:50am Remember that it's the first Friday of the year and I need to start writing this list. DF and boys get up and play blocks in the playroom (Whomp Kings, a game they made up). I hang out with them for awhile.

8:15am Unload the dishwasher. It has been leaking lately. I clean out the "gunk" trap over the drain, which is super gross. Hopefully that will help. Wash dishes still hanging out in the sink from last year (ha ha). We had company for a week over New Years and we're still recovering. DF and kids are playing Lego Star Wars on Wii now. I take a long hot shower and inhale as much steam as I can before my California guilt kicks in about wasting water. I decide to be brave and wear contact lenses today. We had pink eye making the rounds here so I was wary of sticking my fingers in my eyes, but the kids seem to have recovered fully. Try to install the new phone screen protector I got for Christmas. Drat, it's the wrong size.

9:15am Gibson requests a cookie. More tea for me. Clean off the pile of stuff that has accumulated on the top of our dryer, the family temporary storage area. Send a Christmas card that got returned for an old address. Read the news about impending war with Iran. Try not to despair about the state of the world.

10:00am Time for more Mucinex. Watch the Wii game. Gibson is whining sooo much about the game my ears are about to explode. DF turns it off and takes a shower. The kids and I play "what animal am I thinking of?" and other pretending games.

11:00am I eat black eyed peas and greens for lunch. More good luck coming my way! The boys are playing Legos. They eat some beef jerky, apple slices, and corn muffins. Gus blows muffin crumbs all over the place. He informs me his New Year's resolution is to make more messes. <eyeroll> We have a discussion about death, the afterlife, and options for disposal of bodies. This is a fairly common topic of conversation.

11:30am DF takes the boys to a thrift store to look at toys because they want to spend their Christmas money. While they are out, I run the robot vacuum and do some laundry. I get deeply involved in making a "decade in review" post on Instagram, scouring my photo archives for images to represent the spectrum of my life for the last 10 years. I also reply to some messages that come in from a volunteer organization I work with. We are making plans for our 2020 fundraiser. Just as the boys come back, I field a call related to the fundraiser and croak out some words on the phone for 10 minutes. Doing so makes me feel like a productive member of society.

1:15pm Shoppers return home. They are loaded down with swords, light sabers, smash balls, Legos, and other things I don't recognize.

1:30pm Snack time - granola and frozen blueberries. We all play with the new toys. I trim my fingernails and convince the boys to sit on the front stoop so I can trim theirs, too. DF assembles 26 smash balls.

2:40pm all smash balls have been destroyed. They contain little rubber sports-themed figures. I drink more tea and do more laundry. The kids picked up some banks at the store and want to transfer all their coins from their previous banks to the new ones. We practice some Spanish - hola, adios, te amo - because we're planning to send the boys to a dual language Spanish program for elementary school. I send the robot vacuum to the back of the house.

3:40pm cracker snack. Watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. I install a new game on my phone because I recently got a new phone and am going crazy enjoying all the memory space, lol.

4:25pm load and run dishwasher. Fold laundry. The kids are watching Super Wings.

4:45pm turn off the TV. Attempt to get the kids out the door to a restaurant for dinner. They attack me with light sabers.

5:05pm They are finally dressed. (They had been wearing PJs all day. I let them wear PJs nearly whenever they want because soon enough they'll have to get dressed in a uniform for school every day. If they whine about it, I plan to say, "Remember when you were little and you used to wear your pajamas all day every day? That was nice, huh? Now you are big kids who go to school, so you need to wear your uniform.") We finally leave at 5:15. Stop by the UPS store to return my phone screen protector to Amazon. I don't even have to put it in a box. Whoa, such service. We eat dinner at our favorite diner that has a special with 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, and 3 drinks for $11.99. The boys share a burger (and don't even finish it) and I drink water, so it's a great deal for our family! On the way home, we try to pick up an item from our local Buy Nothing group but the family wasn't home.

6:40pm We're home. I unload the dishwasher, which did not leak on the floor. Yay! The kids are excited to see their toys again.

6:50pm Take anti-anxiety medicine, my current best friend. Drink more tea. Motivate the kids to clean up the playroom by rebuilding one smash ball for each small amount of cleaning effort.

7:45pm Snack time. Gibson requests peanut butter on a spoon. Gus ignores my repeated warnings of bedtime approaching.

8:00pm Time to get ready for bed. Gus, predictably, objects that he didn't get a snack. He scarfs down a few pretzels while Gibson brushes his teeth.

8:15pm DF tells them a bedtime story. It's still called a "Goldilocks" story and bears little resemblance to the traditional narrative. Usually, I do it but we've reached the point in the evening where my voice has faded and the coughing intensifies. I go to make a cup of (disgusting, licorice) Throat Coat tea. While I'm waiting for the water to boil, I read the ingredients and notice it has cinnamon bark. Whoops, I'm allergic to cinnamon! I'm off the hook and choose Sleepytime Vanilla instead. Write some Amazon product reviews while sipping tea.

8:35pm Children are loudly singing the rainbow song from their beds. I go in and tell them it's time to quiet down. After one last hug and drink of water, they go to sleep. DF and I watch a few episodes of Undone, a new Amazon show that is really trippy.

9:45pm I take Mucinex and vitamins and head to bed, propped up on 4 pillows.

Thanks for reading! You can check out previous days in the life here:
2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 <-- the most exhausting one

4 Years

Happy 4th birthday to Gus and Gibson! Here is what they are up to these days.

Creative play

• They love to play creatively together. They try to include the whole family when both parents are available. Many evenings have passed with them hopping back and forth on the couch as they pretend to be various Mario Bros. characters. DF and I are assigned to be Bowsers, or sometimes good guys. 
• Everything can transform, when they are imagining. They can go from magic carrot to butterfly to zapping robot in the span of thirty seconds. It's hard to keep up :)
• At night, they want me to make up a bedtime story for them. They tell me what should be in the story. Last night, Gus was a treasure chest and Gibson was a baby bunny who lost his family. 
• We went camping last month - stayed in a cabin. Although they had been running around playing outside all day, they seemed almost compelled into creating a pretend scenario before bedtime that involved crawling through a blanket on their dad's lap.

Physical development

• Both are expert balance bike riders. Gibson always wants to go in front down hills and is a bit of a daredevil. Gus usually lets his brother go first, though he also has a need for speed.]
• DF and the boys like to race their scooters in the alley behind our house
• They love to climb higher than my nerves enjoy - playground equipment, trees, etc

Academics

• After one semester of preschool, we decided to pull them out of school at the end of last year. It was just too much for all of us.
• We attend a local tuition-free Parent Education program, which has been awesome. It's like a preschool where the parents and kids stay together for part of the time.
• They know their letters and can count to 20, with minor confusion in the teens
• We're big into science experiments these days (slime, de-oxidizing pennies, soaking raisins, nature exploration, oobleck)
• Their video game education has begun. They're knowledgeable about all the Super Mario Galaxy characters/planets/lumas. They can sort of drive in Burnout (Gamecube). They like slicing stuff and bad guys on Wii Sports Resort in the swordplay levels. 

Social

• For the most part, they like going to Sunday School at church and have made friends there
• They think "big kids" are cool, like to follow them around, and try to do whatever they are doing (anyone older than say 6). They even joined in a water balloon fight recently without a melt down!
• They generally find babies annoying. We are doing our best to help them form a good relationship with their 18 month old cousin. Gibson was proud of himself during her most recent visit because "I only kicked her one time today!"
• Gus is more of the rule follower and enforcer. He likes to be helpful. 
• Gibson is more mischievous and will see what he can get away with. He loves to laugh.
• They fight with each other a lot and also play together fairly well
• Both boys are super attached to me, sometimes to the point of clinginess. I'm hoping they grow out of it before kindergarten...

Language

• They talk A LOT! I am biased but feel their vocabulary is extensive for their age. People can usually understand their speech. They don't have any "twin language" that I'm aware of.
• Gibson likes to tell us bedtime stories. They even have some plot to them!
• They are getting better with pronouns. Still confusion on male-female and also he/him she/her.
• Their past tense verbs are creative. Made-ed, eat-ed, put-ed
• Pronunciation seems pretty age-appropriate. They still have lots of cute things they say, like "gwish" instead of "squish." Hey, stop gwishing me!  Neither of them say r correctly all the time. Gus's sounds like /w/ while Gibson says /y/. That confuses me sometimes (run could be wun or yun).
• They use multi-syllable words with no problem, like camouflage, elephant, and Saturday. But then they drop the first syllable of other words, like (con)troller, (ma)chine, (with)out, (dis)penser. Actually that last one is pronounced fencer, as in Gus, you be a candy fencer and I will be an ice cream 'chine.

People told me raising twins would get easier, and you know what? They were right. The first 1.5 years are kind of a blur. I'm glad I took photos/videos and recorded my thoughts on this blog. But really, now I feel like I just have two kids who happen to be the same age, and in a lot of ways, that's great!

A Day in the Life, Year 4

Once again, it's my annual post where I record everything I do during in one day.Yesterday was just a regular day over here, so please enjoy my detailed notes!

(Previous years available here: 2018, 2017, 2016)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Date: January 11, 2019
Gus and Gibson are three and a half

6:40am Das Fenster's alarm wakes me up, but I try to go back to sleep

7:05am DF leaves for work. The kids are still asleep. We had a late night last night at choir practice. I think about how I should get up and do things, but it's so cold and my bed is so warm. Around 7:15, I grab my phone and lay in bed looking at Facebook and Instagram.

7:45am Gibson comes to climb in my bed. He says he had a dream about pink balloons. He pretends to be a hug machine but turns into a zapper. 5-10 minutes later, Gus wakes up and joins us. A brief turf battle ensues, as usual. They settle in on each side of me. Gus says he had a dream about me driving a monster truck. Gibson says he was riding on top of my truck and he was a transforming robot. Then they pretend to be Mario and a mole, or a bunny, who was stuck in a hole by a witch and ninjalinos (from PJ Masks).

8:10am Roll out of bed. Potty stop, then they ask to play Kindles. I tell them they aren't charged, so the kids play trains instead. When I find the Kindles and plug them in, they are actually at 70% battery. I don't mention this fact... They sing to themselves as they play, which is a regular occurrence. They play a version of Blokus called "puzzle game" - we made it up yesterday.

8:30am I make coffee and am gone from playroom for 3 minutes before Blokus fight breaks out. Then we have a poop situation to deal with.

8:45am I quickly change out of my pajamas because a person is supposed to come by btwn 9-10 to give us a quote for pruning our grapefruit tree.

8:55am Boys eat pancakes while watching Super Why. I have instituted a 2 hour daily limit for TV/Kindle time. We have a 1 hour sand timer on the entertainment center that I use to track how much they've watched.

9:00am Realize I have no bread or bagels in the house and barely any soy milk. I make instant oatmeal for breakfast. Must go to store today! It's an adjustment not having the kids in preschool anymore. They stopped going at the end of 2018, so I was used to having two mornings a week free for errands and etc.

9:20am Boys are still asking for Kindles. I explain that the TV timer will keep running and it's all part of the 2 hour limit. They say ok.

9:45am The "Boo" characters on their Kindle game need a nap, so we turn off screens. Gus wants coffee (mostly milk, splash of coffee). Still waiting for tree person to arrive. We read a library book about Star Wars featuring Legos.

9:55am Now they want to play Legos.

10:00am Tree lady says the grapefruit tree is in pretty good shape overall and should be pruned every 4 years or so to remove dead and crossed branches. She also mentions that if we give the grass in the back yard a good rake and fertilize in March, we'll have a nice lawn for the summer.

10:17am The boys are happily playing with Legos. I tell them I'm going to take the fastest shower ever and will be right back.

10:21am I get out of the shower and hear a total scream fest going on.

10:40am We've sort of recovered from the big feelings. They're rolling around on the floor under blankets. I am not able to figure out exactly what happened, but I do gather there was a slobber-related problem.

10:45am Almond snack

10:50am Start getting ready to go to Aldi (grocery store)

11:02am Out the door, thanks to a cookie bribe

11:50am Home with only a few extra items that weren't on the list. How can we resist chocolate coins for only 99 cents?

12:03pm Kids are watching Blippi and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They wash their hands with only minimal drama when I had them get the step stool out by themselves. They are really into being independent lately, especially Gus. I make my own lunch by dumping all the leftovers in a bowl with salsa and avocado. Drinking lime seltzer, my latest obsession.

12:23pm I discover half a cup of cold coffee from this morning. Mix it with vanilla soy milk. Yum! Start a load of laundry. Take out trash. Put away rest of groceries. Tidy up and sweep entry way. Unload dishwasher.

12:42pm Gibson hops into kitchen pretending to be a frog. I tell them they've watched enough TV for now. We play block tanks. (Build tanks out of blocks, say boom boom boom a lot)

1:25pm Transfer laundry to dryer. Read the kids a story. Play Blokus and Taboo. (You play Taboo with three year olds by using all the "taboo" words to explain the clue, FYI.)

1:50pm Yogurt snack. We got a 32oz tub of vanilla Greek yogurt at Aldi for $0.25 because it was only 2 days from its sell-by date. Score! I explain how yogurt is made, per their request. Gus says I can only eat vegan cheese yogurt. (They're a little confused about dairy-free)

2:05pm Snack done. Whoa, they barely made a mess with the yogurt! That's a first! Now play cat/dinosaur/transforming car/tackling.

2:12pm Gus asks me to take off his socks, which he is only capable of doing when I don't want his socks being removed. I eat a vegan ranch crunchy pea snack I found at Grocery Outlet.

2:20pm Text Auntie Hipster about making slime when she's babysitting for some friends tomorrow. This inspires me to order a gallon of glue off Amazon for only $12 so we can make more slime here. Gus tells me he want to grow up and get really tiny so he can go into electrical outlets and get zapped.

2:30pm Explain to kids that I need to go to CVS to get contact solution. Tell them we are only getting contacts solution. We are not getting toys or candy. Ask them if they understand, and if they still want to go to CVS. Gibson asks if he can pet the toys. I say yes. They agree we should all go, and they'll ride their balance bikes. It's about 2 blocks away.

2:55pm Finally leave CVS after resisting a lot of begging and pleading for toys and candy. While we are there, we see a friend we know from a local moms group.

3:00pm Arrive at park. It's just a block away. We love our bikeable neighborhood! I've had to learn to talk to Gus and Gibson before we embark about whose turn it is to ride in front because apparently that is a very big deal! They generally do ok as long as we talk about it first. Otherwise it's a crashing, brawling free-for-all for the lead.

At the park, they ride their bikes a lot, go on swings, open a pretend restaurant where they get cooked into a pie by Mr. McGregor, and generally run around. They chase some kids who are using these electronic rolling skateboards until one of the riders informs me, "if they crash into me, this thing will catch on fire!" While I doubt the accuracy of her combustibility gauge, I tell my boys to back off anyway. Some friends from church happen to be at the park too, and all our kids have fun together. I also see another mom I know from another parent class. I feel so connected! At one point, Gibson says, "I want to pee on you," which means he needs to use the bathroom. Really trying to get him to stop saying that...

4:40pm Get home. Give the kids a cantaloupe snack.

5:00pm Use up the last of their allotted TV time to watch Fireman Sam while I make dinner. We're having spaghetti.

5:26pm DF gets home. Gus screams for awhile. Transitions are rough for him.

5:40pm Dinner time. They both ask me to feed them, but Gibson takes over and feeds himself eventually.

6:00pm Dinner is done. DF plays with the kids while I clean up the kitchen. They play Wii. So far I have kept video games separate from the TV timer because it's more of a bonding/fun thing they do with their dad. If I start worrying about their brain development, maybe I'll dial it back.

6:25pm Kitchen is mostly clean. I even wash my cast iron skillet - usually procrastinate on that task. Take Lexapro (anti-anxiety/anti-depressant). I've been on it for a month and I feel like it's helping me handle life better. I research grant opportunities for an early childhood education program that we attend, because I've now been recruited to be on their board.

6:50pm Start bath time. Neither kid wants to take the first bath, so their squirt toys go first. Gus and Gibson both choose second bath. They eventually get in the tub after protesting about the water temperature (too hot for one, too cold for the other). It is the longest bath ever because they both need a poop break in the middle. Hey, I'm glad they tell me so I can get them on the potty. But then they want privacy but I don't want to leave the other kid alone, so I pull the shower curtain around the outside of the tub and stand behind it, looking at the tub rather than the toilet. Oh, motherhood...

7:50pm Give them bedtime snacks and drinks. They're playing pretend with DF. They are baby moles. Then it becomes Mario, Bowser, and a poison swamp. I join in as Mommy Bowser.

8:15pm Start heading towards bed. Bedtime routine involves pajamas, brush teeth, story, song, hug & kiss, one last drink of water, and a Goldilocks story told by mom when they are tucked in bed. I let them each pick one element of the story. Gus usually says Goldilocks drives a wolf house that transforms into something. Tonight it is a bumper car with guns. Gibson says there should be lots of cupcakes and the bears drive a boomer cannon. So I tell a story about how the bears shoot cupcakes out of their cannons and Goldilocks shoots frosting out of her squirt guns and they make a huge tower of cupcakes as tall as a giant.

8:49pm Bedroom door closed. Goodnight #1

8:50pm "Mommy, my head is too hot." "My legs are too cold." "I'm scared of shadows."

8:52pm "Mommy, my head too hot again!" (I flip his pillow over)

8:53pm Gibson runs out to tell me, "I love you so much," then tells me I look like a cat with so much fur when I put him back in bed (because I've taken down my pony tail). Gus wants his pillow flipped again. I try for the 100th time to show him how to do it by himself.

8:56pm Gus needs to go potty. Meanwhile, I've been trying to get my phone to retrieve texts and wind up restarting it. My phone is kind of sad. We need to find out if another carrier has better service in our neighborhood and maybe switch + phone upgrade.

9:00pm I take a chance and get some coconut ice cream out of the freezer.

9:02pm D'oh! Hide the ice cream! Gibson emerges asking to be re-tucked in. That kid can't stay in one spot in his bed, awake or asleep. I tell him to close his eyes and think about something happy to help him sleep. He's going to think about Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, and "different characters."

9:05pm Gus calls me in to ask questions about Paw Patrol. I review the bedtime checklist with them. I emphasize that we did everything on this list, so now it's their job to close their eyes, be quiet, and think about sleepy things. "I'm not coming in here anymore," I declare. I sit on the couch right outside their room and scroll Facebook/Instagram.

9:15pm I haven't heard any more peeps out of them! DF and I watch an episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I read a few chapters of In the Distance by Hernán Díaz, which is the 2019 One City, One Story selection for Pasadena Public Library.

10:30pm Take my vitamin and get ready for bed. Move laundry aside. I'll fold it tomorrow...maybe. Make sure boys are covered up and find Gus "Mr. My head too hot" with a blanket under his head! Play a fish game and a word game for a bit on my Kindle before calling it a night.

And that's another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom with twins!

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

That Twin Life

The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.

Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.

As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!

It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.

Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.

There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.

For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?

Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!

Pause, Reflect, Move

I like to take some time to reflect on one place before I leave it. We're gearing up to move into our new house in just about two weeks, so the time is ripe!

Apartment living in Pasadena: Pros

• On-site professional maintenance team that fixes all my problems. From a dripping sink to a malfunctioning A/C unit, help was just an email away. I didn't have to search for the appropriate service tech online, read reviews, get estimates, or pay any bills. It has been awesome and I know I'm going to miss this feature as a homeowner.
  
• Location - in the heart of it all. We are within walking distance of more amenities here than we ever could take advantage of. If our kids were more, hmm, refined in their dining choices, we would have really enjoyed all these restaurants. As it is, we definitely visited all the ones that serve pizza and/or French fries :) It's also been nice to be so centrally located for public transportation, both for DF's commute and for general traveling needs.
  
• Balcony. Although it's kind of annoying to hear the train crossing dining at all hours of the day and night, the kids have LOVED their front-row view of the train tracks. Also, it's relatively bug-free. We never get mosquito bites here. An occasional fly sneaks in the apartment, but that's about it.

Apartment living: Cons

• Fire alarms. Oh my word, the fire alarms. For awhile we had a faulty sensor in our building and the alarm was going off at least once a day. Not cool, people.
  
• Trains. Sometimes the crossing malfunctions and dings for three hours straight. Again, not cool.
  
• The mile-long walk from the garage to apartment door. Ok, it's not a mile but it sure feels like it sometimes, like today when the boys fell asleep in the van and then wanted me to carry them home. I am pumped to have a garage that's right in the backyard in our new place. Maybe 30 feet, door to door. I can totally handle that. And if the kids are asleep, it would be fine to leave one of them snoozing in the vehicle while taking the other one inside. 

Our new house is just about 2 miles away from our current apartment, so we'll still be able to take advantage of everything Pasadena has to offer. Short moves are the best!

Moving Will Solve All My Problems

With our home purchase set to close later this week (God willing/si Dios quiere/inshallah), I'm feeling anxious, reflective, and hopeful. I've moved a lot in life. It tends to stir up a mixture of emotions/perspectives, but one that I've noticed most often is totally misplaced optimism about changes that will result.

Example: When we moved from Seattle to Memphis (in 2013) I was sure that I would break my addiction to Cheetos. Why? I thought that because I'd be working from home, I'd have time to make myself more healthy snacks. LOL! Sure, I had time, but I had no motivation. Actually, I stopped eating Cheetos and all milk products not long after arriving in California last year because my body just wouldn't let me eat dairy anymore. That wasn't my plan, but it's how life turned out.

And now in 2018, I've pretty much convinced myself that as soon as we move from an apartment to house here in Pasadena, our lives are going to completely change for the better. Here are some of my hopes and dreams.

• We are going to have a dining room table where my children will sit and eat their meals. We will all eat together as a family. I will have a weekly menu board and cook/meal plan tasty dinners that all 4 family members will like.
  
• Of course I will no longer be crouching on the floor next to the couch feeding the children bites of peanut butter bagel for breakfast while they watch Octonauts.
  
• I will create an amazingly functional organization system for the new playroom. Our home will no longer be strewn with toys in every corner of every room. My children will pick up their toys. (Confession: I cracked myself up by typing that last sentence!)
  
• My children will play in the backyard with minimal supervision giving me copious amounts of free time to implement all of my above plans. They will explore and get dirty but not seriously injure/maim themselves while doing so.

Realistic expectations? Probably not. But a girl can dream...

3 Years

Happy third birthday to Gus and Gibson! I've been looking forward to this day when they could play with all the "ages 3+" toys without choking on anything. Ha ha! Actually, they have stopped putting everything in their mouths, so I suppose that's a good sign.

Language
I am not really concerned about them having a speech delay anymore, because they chatter all the time. One issue is that they still use "me" as a subject pronoun, instead of "I." So far I'm just continuing to model correct grammar without making a point to correct them. I figure they'll catch on eventually. In the meantime, it makes for some adorable expressions.

Gibson, tearfully at the park when trying to describe a snack, "No me know me talking about!"
(Turns out, he wanted to eat bunny grahams)

They use the word "love" frequently
Me: Please don't bite your brother
Gibson: But me loooove bite Gus!

I hand Gus a sandwich on an orange plate.
Gus (frowning): Ahh! No me love orange things!

They haven't started asking "why?" yet, but they do ask a lot of questions. Lately, they want to know what everything eats, including animals, plants, the cast of Octonauts, and non-living things like rainbows. Their syntax is, "Mommy, giraffe-es eat?" (The plural of giraffe is 3 syllables)

Pronunciation of some sounds is hit or miss. My current favorite word is "zizzors" (aka scissors)

Physical Milestones
We gave them balance bikes today for their birthdays. They rode around at the park for quite awhile without any major incidents. "Rode" isn't the right word - it was just walking with the bike underneath them. But it actually went better than I thought, so I'm sure they'll be zooming around before long.

They can run fairly fast without tripping.

Potty training hasn't been successful yet. We have a September deadline or else they can't start preschool, so yeah, better get on that soon...

Fine Motor Skills
They make tiny little blobs out of Playdoh.

They're doing better holding crayons/markers, except they don't like to be constrained to decorating only paper.

They are starting to grasp the concept of water color painting.

Personalities
We continue to see unique personalities develop.

Gibson likes to be silly. He is usually resilient and adaptable.

Gus is the rule enforcer. He's got a tender heart.

They are both playful, enjoy music, and are a bit wary of new people.

Overall
They have become little kids. They like babies, but they definitely don't consider themselves babies. They are more interested in playing with other kids at parks and etc. With them starting preschool in the fall and our family hopefully moving to a new home, I expect we'll see all sorts of changes in the year ahead!

Where to Be Rich in LA

House hunting brings out the demographer/sociologist in me. I haven't lived here long enough to have a total handle on what are the "good" and "bad" areas, but I'm starting to get some ideas.

(I apologize in advance for all the feathers I'm about to ruffle.)

Areas that are good tend to have:

• Rich people
• White people
• Maybe Asian people
• "Good" schools as defined by a score of 8+ on Great Schools
• Well-funded public services
• Crime that is not overt

Areas that are bad tend to have:

• Poor people
• Brown people
• Black people
• Asian people who aren't integrated into mainstream American culture
• "Bad" schools (scores 1-3)
• Poorly funded public services
• Visible crime, graffiti, gangs
• Noise and/or pollution

You know what I see as the main differences on these lists? Socioeconomic status and race. So if I ask myself, "Where should we live?" what I'm really wondering is, what kind of white people are we? Statistically speaking, our income puts us in the third quartile for Pasadena (between 50-75% of median). I feel awkward calling myself rich, but I think it might be true.

Then I see these lists like "Best Places to Raise a Family Around LA" which should be titled "Where Rich People Live." I mean seriously, #1 on the list is Manhattan Beach, where the average sales price of a three bedroom home is $1.8 million. So I guess my family is richer than we are poor, but we're not rich rich.

The point I'm trying to make here is that one can't just choose to be rich. In many cases, the deck is stacked against you from the start. And we can't keep using socioeconomic status as a proxy variable for everything in life. Which leads me to the following scatter plot:



(If that's not displaying properly on your device, or you'd like to see the supporting data, click here.)

What are we seeing in this chart? 
A correlation between a school's rating on Great Schools and the percentage of its student body that is low income, which means qualifying for free or reduced-price lunch. (As an aside, that is really poor around here because there's no adjustment made to the calculations to factor in cost of living in your particular area within the lower 48 states.)

What are we not seeing?
A large portion of the not-low-income families in Pasadena that are not represented on this chart, because their children aren't enrolled in these schools.

Pasadena Unified School District has kind of a mixed reputation around here. In the 1970s, the district was ordered to bus students to end de-facto segregation, a bit of history I haven't found anyone too eager to talk about. As of 2016, only 55% of students living in PUSD boundaries attended public schools. The rest are in charter, private, home school, or transfer out of the district. At the same time, there are several schools with new magnet programs focused on STEM, Arts, and IB, and they also offer dual language options. I'm familiar with a group called Pasadena Education Network that seems to be doing good work towards promoting integrated schools. So overall, I'm observing some positive trajectory.

Where should I try to buy a house, then? (I mean, assuming we stay in Pasadena. We also have been looking around Glendale and Eagle Rock, which is a whole other ball of wax.) To complicate matters, PUSD offers open enrollment, meaning that if you don't want your student to attend your neighborhood school, you can go through a lottery system to obtain a seat for your child at a different school. So it doesn't even really matter, school-wise, where we buy because we can put the kids in a different school. We just have to give them a ride.

But you see that? How privileged am I that the need to provide transportation daily to/from a school a few miles away wouldn't even give me pause? We are a two parent family with only one of us working outside the home right now. We have the resources to pay for a vehicle, gas, and insurance. I'm not trying to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table here. And I have the mental bandwidth to think about all these things two years before my kids will even start kindergarten.

What a world we live in.

If you want to learn more about these topics, here are some resources I recommend:

• How America's Public Schools Keep Kids in Poverty (TED talk by Kandice Sumner)
• Follow Integrated Schools on Facebook
• "The Problem with Great Schools" inspired me to write this post