A Day in the Life, Year 4

Once again, it's my annual post where I record everything I do during in one day.Yesterday was just a regular day over here, so please enjoy my detailed notes!

(Previous years available here: 2018, 2017, 2016)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Date: January 11, 2019
Gus and Gibson are three and a half

6:40am Das Fenster's alarm wakes me up, but I try to go back to sleep

7:05am DF leaves for work. The kids are still asleep. We had a late night last night at choir practice. I think about how I should get up and do things, but it's so cold and my bed is so warm. Around 7:15, I grab my phone and lay in bed looking at Facebook and Instagram.

7:45am Gibson comes to climb in my bed. He says he had a dream about pink balloons. He pretends to be a hug machine but turns into a zapper. 5-10 minutes later, Gus wakes up and joins us. A brief turf battle ensues, as usual. They settle in on each side of me. Gus says he had a dream about me driving a monster truck. Gibson says he was riding on top of my truck and he was a transforming robot. Then they pretend to be Mario and a mole, or a bunny, who was stuck in a hole by a witch and ninjalinos (from PJ Masks).

8:10am Roll out of bed. Potty stop, then they ask to play Kindles. I tell them they aren't charged, so the kids play trains instead. When I find the Kindles and plug them in, they are actually at 70% battery. I don't mention this fact... They sing to themselves as they play, which is a regular occurrence. They play a version of Blokus called "puzzle game" - we made it up yesterday.

8:30am I make coffee and am gone from playroom for 3 minutes before Blokus fight breaks out. Then we have a poop situation to deal with.

8:45am I quickly change out of my pajamas because a person is supposed to come by btwn 9-10 to give us a quote for pruning our grapefruit tree.

8:55am Boys eat pancakes while watching Super Why. I have instituted a 2 hour daily limit for TV/Kindle time. We have a 1 hour sand timer on the entertainment center that I use to track how much they've watched.

9:00am Realize I have no bread or bagels in the house and barely any soy milk. I make instant oatmeal for breakfast. Must go to store today! It's an adjustment not having the kids in preschool anymore. They stopped going at the end of 2018, so I was used to having two mornings a week free for errands and etc.

9:20am Boys are still asking for Kindles. I explain that the TV timer will keep running and it's all part of the 2 hour limit. They say ok.

9:45am The "Boo" characters on their Kindle game need a nap, so we turn off screens. Gus wants coffee (mostly milk, splash of coffee). Still waiting for tree person to arrive. We read a library book about Star Wars featuring Legos.

9:55am Now they want to play Legos.

10:00am Tree lady says the grapefruit tree is in pretty good shape overall and should be pruned every 4 years or so to remove dead and crossed branches. She also mentions that if we give the grass in the back yard a good rake and fertilize in March, we'll have a nice lawn for the summer.

10:17am The boys are happily playing with Legos. I tell them I'm going to take the fastest shower ever and will be right back.

10:21am I get out of the shower and hear a total scream fest going on.

10:40am We've sort of recovered from the big feelings. They're rolling around on the floor under blankets. I am not able to figure out exactly what happened, but I do gather there was a slobber-related problem.

10:45am Almond snack

10:50am Start getting ready to go to Aldi (grocery store)

11:02am Out the door, thanks to a cookie bribe

11:50am Home with only a few extra items that weren't on the list. How can we resist chocolate coins for only 99 cents?

12:03pm Kids are watching Blippi and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They wash their hands with only minimal drama when I had them get the step stool out by themselves. They are really into being independent lately, especially Gus. I make my own lunch by dumping all the leftovers in a bowl with salsa and avocado. Drinking lime seltzer, my latest obsession.

12:23pm I discover half a cup of cold coffee from this morning. Mix it with vanilla soy milk. Yum! Start a load of laundry. Take out trash. Put away rest of groceries. Tidy up and sweep entry way. Unload dishwasher.

12:42pm Gibson hops into kitchen pretending to be a frog. I tell them they've watched enough TV for now. We play block tanks. (Build tanks out of blocks, say boom boom boom a lot)

1:25pm Transfer laundry to dryer. Read the kids a story. Play Blokus and Taboo. (You play Taboo with three year olds by using all the "taboo" words to explain the clue, FYI.)

1:50pm Yogurt snack. We got a 32oz tub of vanilla Greek yogurt at Aldi for $0.25 because it was only 2 days from its sell-by date. Score! I explain how yogurt is made, per their request. Gus says I can only eat vegan cheese yogurt. (They're a little confused about dairy-free)

2:05pm Snack done. Whoa, they barely made a mess with the yogurt! That's a first! Now play cat/dinosaur/transforming car/tackling.

2:12pm Gus asks me to take off his socks, which he is only capable of doing when I don't want his socks being removed. I eat a vegan ranch crunchy pea snack I found at Grocery Outlet.

2:20pm Text Auntie Hipster about making slime when she's babysitting for some friends tomorrow. This inspires me to order a gallon of glue off Amazon for only $12 so we can make more slime here. Gus tells me he want to grow up and get really tiny so he can go into electrical outlets and get zapped.

2:30pm Explain to kids that I need to go to CVS to get contact solution. Tell them we are only getting contacts solution. We are not getting toys or candy. Ask them if they understand, and if they still want to go to CVS. Gibson asks if he can pet the toys. I say yes. They agree we should all go, and they'll ride their balance bikes. It's about 2 blocks away.

2:55pm Finally leave CVS after resisting a lot of begging and pleading for toys and candy. While we are there, we see a friend we know from a local moms group.

3:00pm Arrive at park. It's just a block away. We love our bikeable neighborhood! I've had to learn to talk to Gus and Gibson before we embark about whose turn it is to ride in front because apparently that is a very big deal! They generally do ok as long as we talk about it first. Otherwise it's a crashing, brawling free-for-all for the lead.

At the park, they ride their bikes a lot, go on swings, open a pretend restaurant where they get cooked into a pie by Mr. McGregor, and generally run around. They chase some kids who are using these electronic rolling skateboards until one of the riders informs me, "if they crash into me, this thing will catch on fire!" While I doubt the accuracy of her combustibility gauge, I tell my boys to back off anyway. Some friends from church happen to be at the park too, and all our kids have fun together. I also see another mom I know from another parent class. I feel so connected! At one point, Gibson says, "I want to pee on you," which means he needs to use the bathroom. Really trying to get him to stop saying that...

4:40pm Get home. Give the kids a cantaloupe snack.

5:00pm Use up the last of their allotted TV time to watch Fireman Sam while I make dinner. We're having spaghetti.

5:26pm DF gets home. Gus screams for awhile. Transitions are rough for him.

5:40pm Dinner time. They both ask me to feed them, but Gibson takes over and feeds himself eventually.

6:00pm Dinner is done. DF plays with the kids while I clean up the kitchen. They play Wii. So far I have kept video games separate from the TV timer because it's more of a bonding/fun thing they do with their dad. If I start worrying about their brain development, maybe I'll dial it back.

6:25pm Kitchen is mostly clean. I even wash my cast iron skillet - usually procrastinate on that task. Take Lexapro (anti-anxiety/anti-depressant). I've been on it for a month and I feel like it's helping me handle life better. I research grant opportunities for an early childhood education program that we attend, because I've now been recruited to be on their board.

6:50pm Start bath time. Neither kid wants to take the first bath, so their squirt toys go first. Gus and Gibson both choose second bath. They eventually get in the tub after protesting about the water temperature (too hot for one, too cold for the other). It is the longest bath ever because they both need a poop break in the middle. Hey, I'm glad they tell me so I can get them on the potty. But then they want privacy but I don't want to leave the other kid alone, so I pull the shower curtain around the outside of the tub and stand behind it, looking at the tub rather than the toilet. Oh, motherhood...

7:50pm Give them bedtime snacks and drinks. They're playing pretend with DF. They are baby moles. Then it becomes Mario, Bowser, and a poison swamp. I join in as Mommy Bowser.

8:15pm Start heading towards bed. Bedtime routine involves pajamas, brush teeth, story, song, hug & kiss, one last drink of water, and a Goldilocks story told by mom when they are tucked in bed. I let them each pick one element of the story. Gus usually says Goldilocks drives a wolf house that transforms into something. Tonight it is a bumper car with guns. Gibson says there should be lots of cupcakes and the bears drive a boomer cannon. So I tell a story about how the bears shoot cupcakes out of their cannons and Goldilocks shoots frosting out of her squirt guns and they make a huge tower of cupcakes as tall as a giant.

8:49pm Bedroom door closed. Goodnight #1

8:50pm "Mommy, my head is too hot." "My legs are too cold." "I'm scared of shadows."

8:52pm "Mommy, my head too hot again!" (I flip his pillow over)

8:53pm Gibson runs out to tell me, "I love you so much," then tells me I look like a cat with so much fur when I put him back in bed (because I've taken down my pony tail). Gus wants his pillow flipped again. I try for the 100th time to show him how to do it by himself.

8:56pm Gus needs to go potty. Meanwhile, I've been trying to get my phone to retrieve texts and wind up restarting it. My phone is kind of sad. We need to find out if another carrier has better service in our neighborhood and maybe switch + phone upgrade.

9:00pm I take a chance and get some coconut ice cream out of the freezer.

9:02pm D'oh! Hide the ice cream! Gibson emerges asking to be re-tucked in. That kid can't stay in one spot in his bed, awake or asleep. I tell him to close his eyes and think about something happy to help him sleep. He's going to think about Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, and "different characters."

9:05pm Gus calls me in to ask questions about Paw Patrol. I review the bedtime checklist with them. I emphasize that we did everything on this list, so now it's their job to close their eyes, be quiet, and think about sleepy things. "I'm not coming in here anymore," I declare. I sit on the couch right outside their room and scroll Facebook/Instagram.

9:15pm I haven't heard any more peeps out of them! DF and I watch an episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I read a few chapters of In the Distance by Hernán Díaz, which is the 2019 One City, One Story selection for Pasadena Public Library.

10:30pm Take my vitamin and get ready for bed. Move laundry aside. I'll fold it tomorrow...maybe. Make sure boys are covered up and find Gus "Mr. My head too hot" with a blanket under his head! Play a fish game and a word game for a bit on my Kindle before calling it a night.

And that's another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom with twins!

Mom Identity

It's strange to me that all the people I'm meeting in California only know me as a mom. I don't mean that I'm only a mother - it's just that they're getting to know me during this phase of life when being a mom is my primary identity. I still feel like an amateur parent quite often! And I've only been a mom for like 7% of my life at this point. I feel like I should introduce myself like this, "Hi, I'm Salmonista! I've moved around a lot and like making new friends. I probably used to be more interesting before I had kids. Now they're pretty much all I talk about. But I still have an independent identity buried in here somewhere! Let me just scrape off these soggy Cheerios and see if I can find it..."

So far, the majority of people I've befriended here are also parents, some with more years of experience than me. I suppose I'm viewing the people I meet through the lens of parenthood as well. We all have multiples factors that comprise our self-concepts; parenthood is one of many identity "hats" we wear. And yet, it's what we have in common.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to realize that I need opportunities to stretch my non-mom muscles from time to time. Back in Memphis, I had opportunities to press pause on the mom side of my brain when I was at choir practice or teaching English. As we get settled in to life in LA, I am on the lookout for ways I can engage in the world beyond the orbit of my two year olds. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids, and I usually am happy to spend time with them. But all day, every day just wears me out after awhile.

Saying "Yes" Again

I've spent the better part of the last two years saying "No." No, I can't eat that - I'm pregnant. No, I can't attend that evening social event - the babies have to go to bed. No, I can't commit to attending those meetings regularly - my kids are always sick.

At first, saying "no" just seemed normal. I didn't really think much of it because I meant I was saying yes to other priorities. As an example, when I was pumping for the babies, saying "yes" to feeding them breast milk meant I had to say "no" to anything that disrupted my pumping schedule too much. No to going out to lunch. No to seeing a movie. No to leaving the house for more than a couple hours at a time. I wanted to provide milk for them as long as I could, so those "nos" weren't too tough to accept.

But other times, saying "no" was more grating. Since the twins were preemies, our doctor advised us to keep them away from germs as much as possible last winter. That meant we were basically quarantined in our house until April. They were also taking three naps a day most of the winter. So that led to an avalanche of "nos." No, we can't attend church. No, we don't take them to play groups. No, we never go anywhere or do anything more than shop at Kroger, and even then I'm hyper vigilant for anyone sneezing in our vicinty!!

I hadn't thought about all this until the other day when I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned how she has to say "no" to some things because of what she wants to prioritize. Then it hit me - I am able to say "yes" much more often now! This winter is so much different than last. The boys go to MDO twice a week and happily play in the nursery during church activities. I'm volunteering regularly in the community. Both DF and I are back to singing in the choir. The kids and I visit the zoo, parks, and lots of other germy places with just hand sanitizer to protect us. Sure, we still have a nap schedule to contend with, but that's fairly predictable these days. 

I'm looking for other things I can say "yes" to, so if you know of something local that I/the kids might like, let me know! 

ESOL Lesson Plan

Readers, I'm sorry, today is a crazy-busy day for me and I've fallen behind in preparing blog posts in advance. So instead of something deep and reflective, I'm going to tell you about what I taught in English class this morning!

I've taught English on and off for...wow, 14 years. Good grief, now I feel old! Back before the twins were born, I was volunteering here in Memphis with a different organization whose students are primarily Spanish-speaking. I liked volunteering there, but unfortunately their class schedule doesn't work out with my child care options. So a couple months back, I started volunteering teaching ESOL (English to Speakers of Other Languages) at a local nonprofit that works with refugees. It's been going great so far!

Back in Seattle, I taught English with a refugee-serving organization for while, so I actually have some experience with the needs of this population. Many of my current students fall into the "pre-literate" category, which means they don't really know how to read and write in their native language. You can imagine it would be especially challenging to learn English in that situation! We use a lot of hands-on tools, songs, and physical movement. Sometimes we write down a few things. (And, I actually do have a handful of students now who can read/write their native language.)

Normally I teach on Thursday mornings, but the Monday teacher had a conflict and wasn't able to be there today so I subbed. Here's a sample of what we learned. I'll note that this approach is called Total Physical Response. I don't have a lot of formal ESOL training, but I did learn about TPR at one seminar I attended many years ago!

Intro:
-Review days of the week, yesterday/today/tomorrow, today's date, months of the year
-Talk about the letter N and words with the "N" sound like November (name, nose, night)

Lesson:
-students identify items in the classroom that are various colors (red, orange, etc)
-briefly review shapes - square/circle/triangle
-Pass out items to each student for hands-on practice: colored sticks, a styrofoam cup, and colored shapes cut out of construction paper
-I say "Show me the black square." Everyone finds their square. Then, "Show me your other square - a different color." Everyone finds their orange square. "What color is it?" "Orange." Repeat with circles and triangles.
-Demonstrate various prepositions using props. "Put the black square in the cup." "Take the black square out of the cup."
-Students follow along as I do the action. Next, I give directions verbally but do not accompany with a demonstrative action. About half of the class could successfully follow verbal directions. Increased to about 75% with repeated practice.
-Finish by practicing in table groups, arranging objects and students speaking to describe their location

We did these prepositions today: IN, ON, UNDER, IN FRONT OF, BEHIND, NEXT TO

I see now that I forgot to do "above" or "on top of," to contrast with "under." I was also planning to do "between," but using three items at once seemed like it was going to overwhelm some of the students.

lesson prep :)