A Day in the Life 2025

Welcome to my annual sociological research data collection on myself where I record everything I do in one day. My plan was to do the first Friday of January, but I forgot about it last week. Last Friday was more pleasant, though! I can briefly report that on January 3rd, I worked in the morning, and in the afternoon the 4 of us went to the California Science Center where we watched an IMAX movie about blue whales. For dinner, we went to Jack in the Box and one kid devoured almost an entire breakfast combo platter.

And now, for the report on January 10, 2025. Buckle up, it's a doozy!!

Location: Pasadena, CA. In the SE part of town, not our regular north-central neighborhood.

Cast of characters: DF, my husband. Gus and Gibson, our 9 year old twins.

7:00 AM wake up, later than normal. I had a hard time sleeping last night due to all the stress of the Eaton Fire, a huge wildfire that sparked in the early evening on January 7th in Altadena and spread out of control due to wind gusts near 100 mph that night. I check my phone for fire updates and see nothing moved closer to us overnight.

7:05 AM the kids wake up and come join DF and me in bed. (Normally, I would wake them up by 6:30 AM on a Friday but school is cancelled due to the fire. We were supposed to have a PTA Blacktop Coffee for parents at school this morning, along with campus clean up...obviously not happening.) DF attempts to keep snoozing while the boys and I play some NYT games. Gibson gets to choose the starting word for Wordle today - he picks ZEBRA. We still manage to solve it, lol. Then we all work together to solve Connections, though none of us understand the purple category and have to watch a YouTube video to learn about [SPOILERS!] the Monty Hall problem.

7:45 AM get up when the children get too rambunctious in bed. They go back to their room to play on their Chromebooks with towels tucked in the crack at the bottom of the door to keep the soot out.

8:00 AM I head downstairs to make some toast and tea.

Aside: Downstairs? Since when do we live in a 2 story house? Well, since we had a fire at our house about 2 months ago, which caused extensive damage to our kitchen and caused us to be displaced. We're staying in a rental house about 3 miles south of where we usually live. It's new construction, 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 1200 sq ft with an attached garage. The fire was caused by spontaneous combustion in our neighbor's yard waste on a red flag fire danger day. So yeah, these fires going on right now in LA County? They've got all 4 of us rather on edge.

But back to the present.

While I eat breakfast, I text/message with people near and far who are checking in on us. We are south of the fire evacuation and warning zones, though we do have bags packed and ready to go if evacuation becomes necessary. Our regular house is in a Level 2 evacuation warning zone. I'm staying in touch with the neighbors over there. The fires got within a mile or so when the flare ups were really bad.

8:30 AM Make breakfast for the boys and retreat back upstairs to our bedroom/my office, where it's less smoky, again with a towel by the door. 

9:00 AM Sign in to work. I'm in my second year as a part-time grant writer, and I've also been dipping my toes in managing our fundraising database. The agency I work for is located in Altadena. So far our campus has been spared in the fire. I draft some language for potential fire relief-related communications and try to chip away at some other projects, though it's challenging to focus. 

11:30 AM done with work for this week. Feed the children some snacks while discussing how math is applicable to politics. I respond to a friend's question about navigating a fire loss (didn't realize my knowledge was going to be useful so soon...). I also finally find out what water zone we're in at the rental. I knew it wasn't Pasadena Water and Power (PWP), but the landlord is paying the water bill so I wasn't sure. PWP is having troubles with water safety and quality due to the fire. Luckily, this house is served by a San Marino water carrier so we're not in an impacted water zone at this time.

11:50 AM the kids still haven't finished their homework for this week, so DF and I enforce a screen break for homework time. In math, they're multiplying 2-digit numbers (like 16 x 13). And for reading, they have a book in Spanish about hydroelectric power development in Sierra Leone. 

12:30 PM They've made a good effort on homework and are done for today. They watch DF play video games or something on his phone. I take a shower and make sure the squeegee off the walls when I'm done. I'm trying to keep the house nice for the owners, and also I hate scrubbing full tile showers with glass doors.

1:20 PM Eat some leftover pasta for lunch. Pro tip for all you dairy-free people out there: Papa John's garlic sauce is dairy free, and it adds a nice kick of flavor to your standard marinara sauce. While doom scrolling during lunch, I find out that PUSD has closed schools all of next week, too. It makes sense, but oh man, this is going to be rough bc DF is going to be out of town all week at a work training. 

1:45 PM Draft the weekly newsletter for our church Sunday School class. One family in our class lost their home, and another member's place of work was destroyed. It's a very challenging time. We're doing our best to support each other through it all.

More doom scrolling, then I eat some cookies and drink tea. The kids play Cat Quest III on the Nintendo Switch.

3:00 PM I consider doing laundry - our washer and dryer are out in the garage, which is probably full of smoke. I stick my nose into the garage and sniff - yes, quite smoky. Outside the front door, it actually doesn't smell that bad. I briefly open the garage door thinking I'll let it air out, but then realize a bunch of soot and ash will blow in if I do that. So I decide to just wash a load of towels and see what happens. Note, this is the first time any of us have opened an exterior door since Tuesday. It's seriously starting to feel like COVID lock down over here.

3:30 PM the children are going crazy. We play Spot It for awhile. They need to do something physical. This house doesn't have a lot of space to run around safely, so I direct them to their room for a (supervised) pillow fight. They wear themselves out eventually.

4:00 PM I gather up some clothes, shoes, and bed sheets that were donated to us after our fire, but that we haven't been using. One of the boys' classmates lost his home this week, and his mom reached out asking for clothes. I'm glad we have a little extra to share.

4:20 PM I move the laundry to the dryer - smells fine! Then I head out to run some errands in my KN95 mask. First, I drop off the bag of clothes. I need to go to the grocery store, but I decide to stop and get gas on the way because we're at about 1/3 tank and I want to be prepared just in case we have to evacuate. After filling up, I try to start the van and...nothing. It's sputtering but not starting. Oh. My. Word. This is the new (to us) 2021 Honda Odyssey we just bought a month ago when our last van BURNED UP IN A FIRE. And now this one isn't starting and what if we have to evacuate and we don't have a working vehicle and I. AM. TOTALLY. FREAKING. OUT!!! 

I look around and realize that, fortunately, I have happened to stop at a gas station that has an attached mechanic shop. So I walk over and ask a guy if he can help because my van won't start. He grabs some type of tester thing and says, oh yeah, your battery is shot. He jump starts the van for me. I'm grateful. I scrap the plan to get groceries b/c no way am I stopping this vehicle now. I call DF and ask him to try to find the Honda roadside assistance info we got from the dealership. I decide to hit the drive thru at Del Taco to pick up dinner, as it's usually a family favorite. 

5:45 PM return home, backing the van into the garage in case someone can come and replace the battery. I call the Honda service line and find out they are not like AAA and won't deliver a battery to me. But they will tow me to a Honda service center, if needed. I'm still freaking out because what if the van won't start next time I try??

6:00 PM wolf down an epic burrito and feel a bit better about life. Also I had a deal in the Del Taco app to buy one get one free, and who doesn't like free burritos? DF and I talk about the van and decide we'll see if it will cooperate to start up in the morning. I'm having flashbacks to when this exact same thing happened the last time we bought a used Odyssey - that a few weeks later, the battery died. I wonder if there is a battery conspiracy going on, but I can't figure out what the angle would be there.

6:40 PM Family video game time - Super Mario Party Jamboree. Surprisingly, there are no tears shed. That might be a first! We just play a few mini games.

7:00 PM Screens off for kids. Epic Gus and Gibson battle when they both go upstairs and somehow manage to start a fight about using the bathroom...even though there are 2 bathrooms up there. Meanwhile I'm trying to pay an invoice to our builder on our ADU (Accessory Dwelling Unit). Construction was almost done on the ADU when the fire hit - the first one, in November. Now things are kind of in limbo, but we do owe the contractor money for the work he had already completed. The ADU sustained some fire damage in November. We're hopeful all those repairs will be covered by our insurance.

7:20 PM we play a family game of Coup. It's a card game. I quickly die, per usual. Everyone is happier when mommy dies first.

7:45 PM time to get ready for bed. It's the usual potty time and brushing teeth with a lot of stalling mixed in. Now that we live in a house with stairs, the kids like to play games that involve racing Slinkies, or cars, or other toys down the stairs. Once they're finally ready for bed, I grab their new footless footies from the dryer. (what we call PJs that are one piece but don't cover your feet). It's my turn for storytime tonight, which still involves a Goldilocks story! Tonight the Three Bears' house catches on fire when they are making porridge on the stove but get teleported away. I have to say, fires have been popping up a lot in their stories lately. Trauma coping strategy, I assume.

8:30 PM boys read books in bed. We're running low on library books. Hopefully at least some of the library branches will be able to re-open soon.

9:00 PM they're in bed but arguing. Gus was tapping on his legs while I was singing Gibson his good night song (Silent Night), which caused Gibson to growl-sing in annoyance. Not heavenly peace.

9:10 PM I hear them through the door discussing words they know in different languages. I venture downstairs to switch over one last load of laundry.

9:15 PM Upon returning from the garage, I heard the pitter patter of little feet on the second floor. I find them both underneath Gibson's bed, with blankets. They say something about a fortified bed that I don't really care to understand. I extract them both and tuck them in on the mattress side of their beds.

Then I typed up this epic saga, and that's about it for now. 

What will our lives look like in 2026?? Guess you'll have to come back next year to find out if I remembered to write about it!

A Day in the Life 2024

Hey readers, it's been awhile but I'm resurrecting the blog for my annual day-in-the-life post. I record everything I do on the first Friday of the new year. Looks like I forgot to do 2023, so I consulted my calendar to see that on 1/6/23, I was working in the morning, then met up with a friend for coffee in the afternoon. And now, on to the present!

Cast of characters: DF = Das Fenster, aka Dad. Gus & Gibson the 8 year old twins.

Location: Pasadena, CA

I sort of forgot to record the exact times that things happened today. Here are my best recollections.

7:00 AM Wake up when the boys come into our bedroom to tell me dreams they were having about school. They are on their last day of winter break and apparently having some feelings about returning to the academic life. I get up with them and we hang out on the couch in the den for awhile before facing the day. Once we get moving, I have to play Wordle, NYT Connections, and Spelling Bee, my daily ritual.

8:30 AM DF and I have a video appointment related to one of the kids and a medical condition. It goes well and is over sooner than I thought, so I make some breakfast and sign on to work earlier than expected.

9:00 - 10 AM work. I started a new job this past May as a grant writer, and so far it's going great. I work 20 hrs/week for a local child welfare and mental health agency. It's a remote job and flexible with my schedule. Yay! I just have one hour to finish up this week so it's a short day today.

After work I hang out with the guys for awhile. DF has been on vacation for the last 2 weeks, though he's normally off on Fridays. 

11:30 AM I go to the library to return our current stash and check out some new books for the kids. They usually read one or two picture books each night, so I try to keep our supply fresh! They are in 3rd grade this year, still doing the dual language (Spanish) program. Their teacher recommends that they read in both languages but I forgot to get any bilingual or Spanish books today, oops.

12:30 PM back home, making lunch for the boys and me. DF scrounged up some leftovers already. I check my email and see a notice from the library that a book I had on hold is now available. D'oh! 

1:00 PM Time to send out the weekly newsletter for our church group. DF is the president of our adult Sunday School class, so as the "first lady" my duties include drafting the weekly email for him. Gotta put my Communication degrees to work, you know :) 

1:30 PM the boys have been scheming all of break to turn the living room into a giant fort, and apparently today is the day. Gus gathers all the couch cushions in the house and piles them up in the middle of the floor. Then we discuss his vision for the fort. Gibson chimes in. We build a rather large fort that does indeed take over most of the living room. They also want to sleep in it tonight. We shall see... While they play in the fort, I fold some laundry.

2:30 PM play Super Mario Wonder, a new Nintendo Switch game they got for Christmas. All 4 of us can play together, which is nice. I like to be yellow Yoshi, who is a character that is invincible to everything except falling/getting squished. It's a good match for my skill level, lol.

3:00 PM Gibson and DF continue playing video games, while Gus and I need a break. He watches some YouTube while I pull out my laptop and work on PTA Treasurer stuff. I compare our budget to actual for income and expenses and draw up a draft of a mid-year budget adjustment. I was the PTA Secretary for the previous two years. This is my first time serving as Treasurer - it has been a bit of a learning curve, but I think I'm getting the hang of it now. I should also be working on the student picture pages for the school yearbook, but I don't really know what I am doing so I will continue to avoid that task. 

5:00 PM off to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. Gibson is on a major pizza kick lately. I stop by the library again while I'm out to retrieve the book that came in for me, Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. I saw this book on several of my friends' lists of "top books of 2023," so I'm looking forward to reading it!

5:30 PM DF and the boys are playing hide-and-seek while I load the dishwasher. They mainly seem to be hiding in their fort, which is not very sneaky. I suggest we all play a board game and we decide on Catan Jr. Things are going well for a couple rounds until a child who shall remain nameless has an epic meltdown due to other people not playing the way he thinks they should. The game is called on account of tears. 

6:30 PM the boys play Minecraft until the end of screen time at 7:00 PM. Then I get them a snack.

7:30 PM get the kids ready for bed. I still brush their teeth for them, and they always want me to tell them a story while I do so. Tonight I try to describe what my school was like in 3rd grade. I attended a private Christian school and recall pledging allegiance to the American flag, the Christian flag, and the Bible. Where are my 1980s evangelical kids at??

8:00 PM DF reads them a bedtime story in the living room, then there is a lot of scurrying back and forth as they gather everything they need to prepare the fort for bedtime. I sing them Silent Night, their bedtime song, and tell them that if it's too hard to sleep in the fort, I'll help them move to their beds. I'm posting this blog just before 9PM and all is quiet behind the couch cushions...wish us luck!

I will be reading my new book and then going to bed soon myself!

A Day in the Life, Year 7

This is everything that happened in my life on Friday, January 7, 2022. Location: Pasadena, CA.

Gus and Gibson are 6 1/2 years old.

6:30 AM Gus and Gibson wake up and crawl into our bed. They bring stuffed animals with them. Gus has a cheetah; Gibson has a family which includes a dog dad, unicorn mom, and baby dogicorn. Today the dog-unicorn family decides to adopt the cheetah as well. 

7:00 AM time to get ready for school. The kids are in first grade this year and have been attending in person since the beginning of the year, minus one week of quarantine due to positive COVID cases. I help them put on their uniforms, then make myself some coffee. I check my email to see negative COVID test results. The kids' school tests everyone on Wednesdays. 

7:20 AM Kindles turn off. I use the parental control functions to set time limits for them, and once they got used to it, it has been working well to keep our morning schedule moving along. Now it’s breakfast time. We have a standard breakfast menu that is hanging on the wall in the dining room. Gibson grabs a pencil and draws a picture of a cookie on it in hopes that it would join the permanent rotation along with toast, cereal, and waffles. Good try, ha ha.

7:42 AM we are out the door! Kids in puffy coats today because it is below 50 degrees. Too cold for Californians!

7:48 AM manage to drop off at school just before the bell rings. They get a squirt of hand sanitizer and temperature checks as they enter. I have upgraded their cloth masks to KN95 now as the Omicron variant is running rampant through LA county. Over 25% of the student body was absent on Tuesday. I stop to get gas at $4.45 a gallon.

8:10 AM Back at home, I eat breakfast then chat with DF. He works Monday-Thursday and has every Friday off. A few months ago, he had to start going back to the office about half time. I play some Duolingo, a language learning game. I want to keep my Spanish skills strong. Recently I’ve started Japanese as well. I like learning hiragana (one of the writing systems). It’s so different from English, and I think it is cool that humans have created such diverse ways to communicate. I play a few other games and scroll social media.

9:20 AM take shower. I try out some new skin care I received as Christmas presents, including a moisturizing eye cream and a spot/blemish controlling turmeric roller. 

9:50 AM Time for some work. I submit my first time sheet for paid employment since 2015. I just started a new job. This week was online training. It’s a temporary and part-time position administering a standardized test for the US Department of Education. It will be good to get something current on my resume.

Next I type up minutes from a school meeting yesterday. I am the secretary for the school PTA and one other committee this year, called ELAC - the English Learner Advisory Committee. For this one, the meeting is conducted in both English and Spanish, and I produce bilingual minutes. It definitely takes some extra brain power, and there is a bilingual staff member who reviews my work. She says I’m doing ok and it makes her job easier, so I guess I’ll keep it up.

10:00 AM DF takes the van in for an oil change. I will be commuting to different sites around LA and the surrounding suburbs, so I need to have my vehicle in good shape. 

10:30 AM Uncle Monte, DF´s brother, emerges from the guest room and greets me as he gets ready for work. He has been staying with us since the fall. He works swing shift as a delivery driver. 

10:45 AM I am done with the meeting minutes and have the house to myself. I crank up the Hamilton soundtrack while putting away laundry.

11:00 AM DF is back. We watch the latest episode of the Expanse. It’s a sci-fi show on Amazon Prime. Season 6 just started and I’m having a hard time remembering what happened in the previous 5 seasons, in part because most of the action happens on various space ships that all look similar to me…but I still enjoy it.

12:00 PM lunch time, then I wash some dishes and attempt a vinegar-baking soda solution for the hard water stains that have built up in one of our toilets. Oh such a glamorous life I lead. It worked somewhat but I need something stronger to really do the job. While waiting for the solution to do its thing, I read a social media post about vaccine mandates that is full of logical fallacies. I write a rebuttal in my head but decide not to actually post it.

12:40 PM meal planning. Since I will be working 2-3 days a week for the next couple of months I am doing what I can now to get organized. DF and I discuss some meal options, and I look up a few new ideas to add to the rotation. I make a spreadsheet of ideas. 

1:00 PM DF turns on the new Nintendo Switch to play Zelda. It was a whole family Christmas present. I ponder if the children would eat a casserole. I can’t recall them ever doing so… I put aside the meal planning project and read a book instead, “The City We Became” by N.K. Jemisin. I am on chapter 2 and I am already digging it! She is a great author. My latest Amazon order arrives, replacement parts for the robot vacuum, which is probably my favorite household tool. 

2:00 PM I leave to pick up the kids from school

2:50 PM return home. The school is a 2-3 minute drive from us. What takes so long? Their class comes out late, and they boys like to play on the steps outside the building. We walk across the street to the library to use the bathroom, but of course they have to fight about who is going to go inside first. They have been so loud inside the library lately that I make one of them wait outside with me while the other one goes inside. 

I get them a snack and set the 1 hour sand timer while they watch Daddy play Zelda. They get an hour of screen time before homework. I eat my own snack and putter around the house.

4:00 PM homework time, but first they request a piece of candy. They have a math worksheet, a book to read, and their snap (sight) words to review. They need a brain break between English and Spanish so they play Prodigy, a fun math game that involves battling wizards.

4:45 PM I head over to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. It's cold and foggy outside. My phone says it's 53 degrees but it feels colder. At home the kids are still playing prodigy. They take a pizza break, but get distracted by yogurt pretzels that I left on the table from earlier. Oops. I heat up some leftovers for myself, since I don't eat cheese.

5:30 PM homework is done and the guys are playing more Nintendo. I watch as the gamers beat the final Bowser boss on New Super Mario Bros! Fun animations at the end. I'm half watching thyen play, half scrolling on my phone. I have also poured myself a glass of Two Buck Chuck Cab Sav. Not that bad really, I usually get the red blend but Trader Joe's was out of it.

7:00 PM screens off, and the nightly WrestleMania begins. The rest of the routine includes snacks, read stories, go potty, and brush teeth. I manage to load and start the dishwasher, too. 

8:00 PM I tell the Goldilocks story tonight. Yes, this tradition continues! Tonight's tale is Among Us themed (the video game). Gus is an imposter, Gibson is a sniper, Mama Bear is a ninja, Baby Bear is a medic. I don't have to say much, as the boys pretty much tell their own story these days. One more potty break, several hugs and kisses, and by 8:20 I'm out of their room. Better than usual these days! 

8:28 PM Gibson calls me in to tell me he's scared of Huggy Wuggy. This is a character in a video game he has never seen or played, but it's apparently a popular thing to talk about to scare your classmates in first grade. I tell him to think about something happy like unicorns or candy rainbows. Gus says he's scared of furry tarantulas crawling in the window. They talk to each other for a bit and eventually quiet down. 

I eat a snack and veg out on the couch until bed time.

9:55 PM I get ready for bed as another day in the life comes to a close.

4 Years

Happy 4th birthday to Gus and Gibson! Here is what they are up to these days.

Creative play

• They love to play creatively together. They try to include the whole family when both parents are available. Many evenings have passed with them hopping back and forth on the couch as they pretend to be various Mario Bros. characters. DF and I are assigned to be Bowsers, or sometimes good guys. 
• Everything can transform, when they are imagining. They can go from magic carrot to butterfly to zapping robot in the span of thirty seconds. It's hard to keep up :)
• At night, they want me to make up a bedtime story for them. They tell me what should be in the story. Last night, Gus was a treasure chest and Gibson was a baby bunny who lost his family. 
• We went camping last month - stayed in a cabin. Although they had been running around playing outside all day, they seemed almost compelled into creating a pretend scenario before bedtime that involved crawling through a blanket on their dad's lap.

Physical development

• Both are expert balance bike riders. Gibson always wants to go in front down hills and is a bit of a daredevil. Gus usually lets his brother go first, though he also has a need for speed.]
• DF and the boys like to race their scooters in the alley behind our house
• They love to climb higher than my nerves enjoy - playground equipment, trees, etc

Academics

• After one semester of preschool, we decided to pull them out of school at the end of last year. It was just too much for all of us.
• We attend a local tuition-free Parent Education program, which has been awesome. It's like a preschool where the parents and kids stay together for part of the time.
• They know their letters and can count to 20, with minor confusion in the teens
• We're big into science experiments these days (slime, de-oxidizing pennies, soaking raisins, nature exploration, oobleck)
• Their video game education has begun. They're knowledgeable about all the Super Mario Galaxy characters/planets/lumas. They can sort of drive in Burnout (Gamecube). They like slicing stuff and bad guys on Wii Sports Resort in the swordplay levels. 

Social

• For the most part, they like going to Sunday School at church and have made friends there
• They think "big kids" are cool, like to follow them around, and try to do whatever they are doing (anyone older than say 6). They even joined in a water balloon fight recently without a melt down!
• They generally find babies annoying. We are doing our best to help them form a good relationship with their 18 month old cousin. Gibson was proud of himself during her most recent visit because "I only kicked her one time today!"
• Gus is more of the rule follower and enforcer. He likes to be helpful. 
• Gibson is more mischievous and will see what he can get away with. He loves to laugh.
• They fight with each other a lot and also play together fairly well
• Both boys are super attached to me, sometimes to the point of clinginess. I'm hoping they grow out of it before kindergarten...

Language

• They talk A LOT! I am biased but feel their vocabulary is extensive for their age. People can usually understand their speech. They don't have any "twin language" that I'm aware of.
• Gibson likes to tell us bedtime stories. They even have some plot to them!
• They are getting better with pronouns. Still confusion on male-female and also he/him she/her.
• Their past tense verbs are creative. Made-ed, eat-ed, put-ed
• Pronunciation seems pretty age-appropriate. They still have lots of cute things they say, like "gwish" instead of "squish." Hey, stop gwishing me!  Neither of them say r correctly all the time. Gus's sounds like /w/ while Gibson says /y/. That confuses me sometimes (run could be wun or yun).
• They use multi-syllable words with no problem, like camouflage, elephant, and Saturday. But then they drop the first syllable of other words, like (con)troller, (ma)chine, (with)out, (dis)penser. Actually that last one is pronounced fencer, as in Gus, you be a candy fencer and I will be an ice cream 'chine.

People told me raising twins would get easier, and you know what? They were right. The first 1.5 years are kind of a blur. I'm glad I took photos/videos and recorded my thoughts on this blog. But really, now I feel like I just have two kids who happen to be the same age, and in a lot of ways, that's great!

A Day in the Life, Year 4

Once again, it's my annual post where I record everything I do during in one day.Yesterday was just a regular day over here, so please enjoy my detailed notes!

(Previous years available here: 2018, 2017, 2016)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Date: January 11, 2019
Gus and Gibson are three and a half

6:40am Das Fenster's alarm wakes me up, but I try to go back to sleep

7:05am DF leaves for work. The kids are still asleep. We had a late night last night at choir practice. I think about how I should get up and do things, but it's so cold and my bed is so warm. Around 7:15, I grab my phone and lay in bed looking at Facebook and Instagram.

7:45am Gibson comes to climb in my bed. He says he had a dream about pink balloons. He pretends to be a hug machine but turns into a zapper. 5-10 minutes later, Gus wakes up and joins us. A brief turf battle ensues, as usual. They settle in on each side of me. Gus says he had a dream about me driving a monster truck. Gibson says he was riding on top of my truck and he was a transforming robot. Then they pretend to be Mario and a mole, or a bunny, who was stuck in a hole by a witch and ninjalinos (from PJ Masks).

8:10am Roll out of bed. Potty stop, then they ask to play Kindles. I tell them they aren't charged, so the kids play trains instead. When I find the Kindles and plug them in, they are actually at 70% battery. I don't mention this fact... They sing to themselves as they play, which is a regular occurrence. They play a version of Blokus called "puzzle game" - we made it up yesterday.

8:30am I make coffee and am gone from playroom for 3 minutes before Blokus fight breaks out. Then we have a poop situation to deal with.

8:45am I quickly change out of my pajamas because a person is supposed to come by btwn 9-10 to give us a quote for pruning our grapefruit tree.

8:55am Boys eat pancakes while watching Super Why. I have instituted a 2 hour daily limit for TV/Kindle time. We have a 1 hour sand timer on the entertainment center that I use to track how much they've watched.

9:00am Realize I have no bread or bagels in the house and barely any soy milk. I make instant oatmeal for breakfast. Must go to store today! It's an adjustment not having the kids in preschool anymore. They stopped going at the end of 2018, so I was used to having two mornings a week free for errands and etc.

9:20am Boys are still asking for Kindles. I explain that the TV timer will keep running and it's all part of the 2 hour limit. They say ok.

9:45am The "Boo" characters on their Kindle game need a nap, so we turn off screens. Gus wants coffee (mostly milk, splash of coffee). Still waiting for tree person to arrive. We read a library book about Star Wars featuring Legos.

9:55am Now they want to play Legos.

10:00am Tree lady says the grapefruit tree is in pretty good shape overall and should be pruned every 4 years or so to remove dead and crossed branches. She also mentions that if we give the grass in the back yard a good rake and fertilize in March, we'll have a nice lawn for the summer.

10:17am The boys are happily playing with Legos. I tell them I'm going to take the fastest shower ever and will be right back.

10:21am I get out of the shower and hear a total scream fest going on.

10:40am We've sort of recovered from the big feelings. They're rolling around on the floor under blankets. I am not able to figure out exactly what happened, but I do gather there was a slobber-related problem.

10:45am Almond snack

10:50am Start getting ready to go to Aldi (grocery store)

11:02am Out the door, thanks to a cookie bribe

11:50am Home with only a few extra items that weren't on the list. How can we resist chocolate coins for only 99 cents?

12:03pm Kids are watching Blippi and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They wash their hands with only minimal drama when I had them get the step stool out by themselves. They are really into being independent lately, especially Gus. I make my own lunch by dumping all the leftovers in a bowl with salsa and avocado. Drinking lime seltzer, my latest obsession.

12:23pm I discover half a cup of cold coffee from this morning. Mix it with vanilla soy milk. Yum! Start a load of laundry. Take out trash. Put away rest of groceries. Tidy up and sweep entry way. Unload dishwasher.

12:42pm Gibson hops into kitchen pretending to be a frog. I tell them they've watched enough TV for now. We play block tanks. (Build tanks out of blocks, say boom boom boom a lot)

1:25pm Transfer laundry to dryer. Read the kids a story. Play Blokus and Taboo. (You play Taboo with three year olds by using all the "taboo" words to explain the clue, FYI.)

1:50pm Yogurt snack. We got a 32oz tub of vanilla Greek yogurt at Aldi for $0.25 because it was only 2 days from its sell-by date. Score! I explain how yogurt is made, per their request. Gus says I can only eat vegan cheese yogurt. (They're a little confused about dairy-free)

2:05pm Snack done. Whoa, they barely made a mess with the yogurt! That's a first! Now play cat/dinosaur/transforming car/tackling.

2:12pm Gus asks me to take off his socks, which he is only capable of doing when I don't want his socks being removed. I eat a vegan ranch crunchy pea snack I found at Grocery Outlet.

2:20pm Text Auntie Hipster about making slime when she's babysitting for some friends tomorrow. This inspires me to order a gallon of glue off Amazon for only $12 so we can make more slime here. Gus tells me he want to grow up and get really tiny so he can go into electrical outlets and get zapped.

2:30pm Explain to kids that I need to go to CVS to get contact solution. Tell them we are only getting contacts solution. We are not getting toys or candy. Ask them if they understand, and if they still want to go to CVS. Gibson asks if he can pet the toys. I say yes. They agree we should all go, and they'll ride their balance bikes. It's about 2 blocks away.

2:55pm Finally leave CVS after resisting a lot of begging and pleading for toys and candy. While we are there, we see a friend we know from a local moms group.

3:00pm Arrive at park. It's just a block away. We love our bikeable neighborhood! I've had to learn to talk to Gus and Gibson before we embark about whose turn it is to ride in front because apparently that is a very big deal! They generally do ok as long as we talk about it first. Otherwise it's a crashing, brawling free-for-all for the lead.

At the park, they ride their bikes a lot, go on swings, open a pretend restaurant where they get cooked into a pie by Mr. McGregor, and generally run around. They chase some kids who are using these electronic rolling skateboards until one of the riders informs me, "if they crash into me, this thing will catch on fire!" While I doubt the accuracy of her combustibility gauge, I tell my boys to back off anyway. Some friends from church happen to be at the park too, and all our kids have fun together. I also see another mom I know from another parent class. I feel so connected! At one point, Gibson says, "I want to pee on you," which means he needs to use the bathroom. Really trying to get him to stop saying that...

4:40pm Get home. Give the kids a cantaloupe snack.

5:00pm Use up the last of their allotted TV time to watch Fireman Sam while I make dinner. We're having spaghetti.

5:26pm DF gets home. Gus screams for awhile. Transitions are rough for him.

5:40pm Dinner time. They both ask me to feed them, but Gibson takes over and feeds himself eventually.

6:00pm Dinner is done. DF plays with the kids while I clean up the kitchen. They play Wii. So far I have kept video games separate from the TV timer because it's more of a bonding/fun thing they do with their dad. If I start worrying about their brain development, maybe I'll dial it back.

6:25pm Kitchen is mostly clean. I even wash my cast iron skillet - usually procrastinate on that task. Take Lexapro (anti-anxiety/anti-depressant). I've been on it for a month and I feel like it's helping me handle life better. I research grant opportunities for an early childhood education program that we attend, because I've now been recruited to be on their board.

6:50pm Start bath time. Neither kid wants to take the first bath, so their squirt toys go first. Gus and Gibson both choose second bath. They eventually get in the tub after protesting about the water temperature (too hot for one, too cold for the other). It is the longest bath ever because they both need a poop break in the middle. Hey, I'm glad they tell me so I can get them on the potty. But then they want privacy but I don't want to leave the other kid alone, so I pull the shower curtain around the outside of the tub and stand behind it, looking at the tub rather than the toilet. Oh, motherhood...

7:50pm Give them bedtime snacks and drinks. They're playing pretend with DF. They are baby moles. Then it becomes Mario, Bowser, and a poison swamp. I join in as Mommy Bowser.

8:15pm Start heading towards bed. Bedtime routine involves pajamas, brush teeth, story, song, hug & kiss, one last drink of water, and a Goldilocks story told by mom when they are tucked in bed. I let them each pick one element of the story. Gus usually says Goldilocks drives a wolf house that transforms into something. Tonight it is a bumper car with guns. Gibson says there should be lots of cupcakes and the bears drive a boomer cannon. So I tell a story about how the bears shoot cupcakes out of their cannons and Goldilocks shoots frosting out of her squirt guns and they make a huge tower of cupcakes as tall as a giant.

8:49pm Bedroom door closed. Goodnight #1

8:50pm "Mommy, my head is too hot." "My legs are too cold." "I'm scared of shadows."

8:52pm "Mommy, my head too hot again!" (I flip his pillow over)

8:53pm Gibson runs out to tell me, "I love you so much," then tells me I look like a cat with so much fur when I put him back in bed (because I've taken down my pony tail). Gus wants his pillow flipped again. I try for the 100th time to show him how to do it by himself.

8:56pm Gus needs to go potty. Meanwhile, I've been trying to get my phone to retrieve texts and wind up restarting it. My phone is kind of sad. We need to find out if another carrier has better service in our neighborhood and maybe switch + phone upgrade.

9:00pm I take a chance and get some coconut ice cream out of the freezer.

9:02pm D'oh! Hide the ice cream! Gibson emerges asking to be re-tucked in. That kid can't stay in one spot in his bed, awake or asleep. I tell him to close his eyes and think about something happy to help him sleep. He's going to think about Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, and "different characters."

9:05pm Gus calls me in to ask questions about Paw Patrol. I review the bedtime checklist with them. I emphasize that we did everything on this list, so now it's their job to close their eyes, be quiet, and think about sleepy things. "I'm not coming in here anymore," I declare. I sit on the couch right outside their room and scroll Facebook/Instagram.

9:15pm I haven't heard any more peeps out of them! DF and I watch an episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I read a few chapters of In the Distance by Hernán Díaz, which is the 2019 One City, One Story selection for Pasadena Public Library.

10:30pm Take my vitamin and get ready for bed. Move laundry aside. I'll fold it tomorrow...maybe. Make sure boys are covered up and find Gus "Mr. My head too hot" with a blanket under his head! Play a fish game and a word game for a bit on my Kindle before calling it a night.

And that's another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom with twins!

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

Home Shopping with Toddlers

In the past six weeks, we've taken our kids to some 40 open houses. And as far as I know, they haven't broken anything! They've picked a couple lemons without authorization (#socallife) and might have trampled a few flowers underfoot. They've tripped over too many uneven floors/unexpected steps to count. They are doorbell-ringing experts. And, they've learned to be on the lookout for cookies or other goodies up for grabs. 

In fact, they've been house hunting for so long they've even started playing "open house" at home. Really! They set up boxes on the floor, then one kid said, "ding dong, you have sign? Me come see you house?" The other one said, "no, too dirty, me vacuum first." LOL

Real estate in the Los Angeles area is expensive. Exorbitant. Some might even say unreasonable. And yet, we've decided to throw our hats into the ring and purchase here as well. 

Why, you might ask? I'll tell you. 

The rent is too damn high.

For realz, people! We decided that we might as well make a mortgage payment for as much as we're spending on rent. The other option would be to move from our (expensive) apartment to a slightly less expensive rental, but we still want to buy eventually and moving with two little people is no joke. (We just did it last year, you know!) So, we sold the condo we owned in Seattle and now we're ready to buy here. We're hoping that the market doesn't totally tank right after we make a purchase, but one never knows.

It is hard to believe how quickly properties get snatched up and how much they wind up selling for. We are finally ready to put in our first offer on a house in the next couple of days. I am not overly optimistic about our chances of winning the bidding war. It seems like everyone I ask around here put offers on 5-10 properties before they finally got one. Maybe this will just be our warm up offer. The house is pretty cool, though, so I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Things I've learned about real estate in California (perhaps in general):

• Be super skeptical of homes without many photos online
• "California basement" is a polite term for "den of spiders and rodents"
• You could hire 21 different types of professionals to inspect your property, if you so desired
• Always pan up on Google Street View to check for giant power lines overhead
• It's hard to thoroughly inspect a property during an open house when your children are running amok
• There are way too many factors to consider in the home buying process. It is overwhelming!
• People who write home descriptions like the words/phrases "exclusive," "rare," "in-demand," and "don't miss out"
• There is no point in describing your listing in the Glendale/Pasadena area as "close to shops, restaurants, and schools" because that literally describes every home around here, as long as by "close" you mean "within a couple miles"

Hopefully before too long, we'll have a new nest to feather. Until then, we'll keep perching here in our cozy apartment. (Actually, not cozy. That's a code word for tiny. I should describe this apartment as spacious and well-appointed, in the highly-sought-after city of Pasadena!) 

2.75 years

My babies are not babies anymore! Soon, they'll be turning three. I'll try to savor these last few months of year two while they last :)

Language
The highlight lately, for sure. They are always cracking me up with the funny things they say! Here's how they say things, creatively.

Counting: 1, 3, 2, 5, 2, 3
Any letters or numbers: Hey, ABCs!
Sideways: sidewards
Slippery: slippy
Peanut butter: pea burr
Milk: nilk
Smash: mash ("cars no mash me" they say in the parking garage)
Motorcycle: sa-sy-oh (I think? I never have any idea what they are saying for like the first 3 attempts, so then I guess "motorcycle?" and I'm sometimes right)

Some of their favorite expressions include "more" or "too." Example, "more pillows!" says Gibson, every time he's building a fort. They object to things by using too + adjective. Gus didn't want to try gyoza because "too slimy." They can't get on an elevator because "too much people." I have to get the fruit snack off their finger after they squished it up because "toooooo sticky!"

They've figured out the pronouns "you" and "me." Their current favorite fight in the back seat of the van is to mock the person in the sun by saying, "You sunny side! Me shady side!"

Understanding the World
They are convinced that animals pee out of their tails, so they think tails are really funny. I've tried explaining animal anatomy to them, but they don't believe me. However, I'm wary of proving my point by Googling "anatomically correct pictures of animals"...

They remember stuff that surprises me. We had a doctor's appointment, and a week later they remembered the doctor's name, which I'd maybe said twice. Whoa!

They love to laugh! Yesterday, we were watching a show with a couch that sprouted propellers and starting flying around, and they were literally falling over laughing about that. I didn't get why it was so hilarious, but I enjoyed listening to them giggle :)

They understand when I am not happy. But, sort of annoyingly, they ask me about it by saying, "Mommy happy mommy?" This most often happens when I'm scowling about the food they just dumped on the floor or similar events. I've tried responding along the lines of, "No, I'm not happy right now. You are not responsible for my emotions. I'm feeling frustrated about this mess." We recently made a calm-down corner with soothing toys, so sometimes I take a break there to calm down. Meanwhile, the boys just want to fight over the sensory items I got, so yeah, work in progress still...

We tried to convert their cribs into toddler beds a couple weeks ago. It was a disaster. The four crib walls are solidly back in place. Sometimes they ask for "no crib" now but I tell them we're going to wait till they're a little older to try again. They just could not stay in bed - the two of them egg each other on to increasing levels of chaos. And I don't like them frolicking around their bedroom in the dark for all the reasons you can imagine, plus some you can't. For example, we have a rocking chair that spins. One kid climbs into the chair while brother runs in a circle to spin him around, until the runner trips over a toy, or crashes into the wall, or the passenger decides he'd like to exit the ride without alerting the operator first...

Physical Milestones
Gus is solidly jumping now. It's kind of a gallop/jump, where his feet lift off the ground 1-2 instead of simultaneous, but I think it counts.

We went to a St. Patrick's Day festival on Saturday where they tried Irish dancing and managed to lift up and kick one leg without falling over. Then they started freestyling with spins and such :)

I recently took them to a park with a tall boulder climb. It was maybe 8 feet at the top. They both scurried right up the rocks, but only Gus was able to scoot back down; I had to rescue Gibson. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's starting to understand the effects of gravity.

They can go up and down stairs without holding the hand rail, albeit precariously. I wish they would hold the rail, especially in our apartment stairwell that we sometimes use as a short cut, but that rail has been deemed "too dirty, Mommy".

It's been a good few months here in Salmonista land. Having twin babies is insanity, but twin toddlers are pretty fun!

Not the Same, but Similar

Awhile back, I had the realization that my life completely changed when I had kids. (Yes, I know it seems obvious!) But when I wrote that previous post, the boys were one year old. They were walking, though still wobbly on their feet. They stuck EVERYTHING in their mouths. When I said that my life would "never be the same," I was envisioning a future where I hovered behind two small people forever, trying to catch them before they toppled over and bonked their heads while simultaneously removing all choking hazards from their line of sight.

Now that the kids are rapidly approaching their preschool years, well, life is changing again. I'm seeing some glimmers of hope for the future in which I am not always a human helicopter!

On Friday, we participated in the local festivities known as Art Night Pasadena. It was, briefly, not a disaster and even sort of enjoyable! We walked to a local restaurant for dinner. Then, we watched a dance performance at Lineage where the boys managed not to create a scene, even though they were super excited about all the different colors of lights shining in the studio. From there, we caught a shuttle bus over to Kidspace. The museum was really packed, but the boys did not totally freak out. When it was time to go, we wound up having to wait like 20 minutes for a shuttle back to our neck of the woods, but again the boys managed to keep it together. They loved riding the bus, too!

Ok, now that I've written it all out, it doesn't sound that exciting. Let me elaborate - at dinner, DF and I were actually able to eat our meals, and the boys also ate food (we didn't have to resort to the emergency peanut butter crackers in the diaper bag). At the dance studio, we all watched the dancers together - the boys sat in chairs, rather than running amok/climbing furniture. Now, pre-kids I wouldn't have chosen to go to a children's museum so that part of the night was different. But dinner and local entertainment? That's totally something DF and I would have done before our little guys came along!

So yes, my life is different now, but that doesn't mean it has to be COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE from my previous life. If I liked doing things before kids, chances are, I'll be able to find ways to incorporate them into our new reality as a family of four.

Hooray for things being different...and the same!

2017 Year in Review

(Let's all pretend I posted this last night, m'kay?)

My word for 2017 is "GO." After spending most of 2016 in/near home with two babies, I think we had cabin fever by the time last January 1 rolled around. Here's a summary of all our goings.

• States visited by all 4 of us: 14 (in chronological order TN, AR, MO, IA, SD, ND, MN, NY, OR, MS, TX, NM, AZ, CA)
• Additional states visited by DF for hurricane relief work: 3 (GA, AL, LA)
• Family airplane trips: 3
• Family road trips: 2
• Cross-country moves: 1
• Grandparents and great-grandparents visited: 100%
• Oceans splashed in: 2 (Atlantic, Pacific)
• Pack-n-Play set up/take down achievement level reached: Expert
• Days that Gus and Gibson survived with Salmonista as their sole in-home parent: 46

We were watching little videos last night of the boys at our old house in Memphis. They seemed to remember it, but they were confused about why we aren't there anymore. We didn't know when last year began that we'd be moving from Tennessee to California before the sun set on 2017. The move went fairly smoothly overall (no belongings or family members were lost in transit!), and we're settling in well to our new SoCal lifestyle. 

Who knows what new adventures 2018 will bring? Stay tuned to find out!

2.5 Years

I'm a few days early on this post, but we'll be in Oregon visiting family on the boys' actual half-birthday. Figured I better record these observations now so I don't forget later!

(For any of my newer readers, note that "Gus" and "Gibson" are blog pseudonyms for the twins. Hopefully you can figure out which one is which, if you know them IRL!)

As is my tradition, I shall now reflect on what the boys are up to these days. Two and a half is a pretty fun age, in my opinion. Yes, it's also dramatic. But for the most part, life is good. I decided to make a little chart here. (Hope it displays ok on whatever browser/device you're using.) I know the experts say not to compare your kids...that's really hard when you have twins, though! How else are you supposed to talk about them, when they're really similar?

Who does it more?	Gus	Gibson
Eats	x
Sleeps		x
Willing to try new foods		x
Fake cries when playing		x
Says "me first"	x
Uses the potty	x
Won't get in the bathtub		x
Afraid of cars in garage	x
Loves to read the Bible	x
Spins in circles		x
Obsessed with trucks	x	x
Says "hi" to strangers		x
Hesitant to go in the nursery	x
Devours lentils (seriously!)	x	x
Says "sorry" if it's warranted		x
Loves his blankie		x
Picks up toys	x

As you can see, they are certainly continuing to develop distinct personalities! It's interesting to me how they aren't exactly turning out the way I thought they would though, based on baby-hood. Gus used to be a bit more chill. As he's gotten older, I feel like he's embracing his role as the older brother, becoming bossy sometimes and demanding his own way. Since I'm also an oldest child, I can't really fault him for it, haha. Gibson, meanwhile, is kind of fulfilling his role as the baby of the family by being a little jokester! They both love to laugh, but Gibson especially has a humorous/mischievous streak about him.

Activities: playing all the time, everywhere. Current fixation is taking all the cushions/throw pillows off the couch to build houses, castles, cars, etc in the living room. They could do it all day long, except that they also fight a lot over who is going to use which of the (identical) cushions, among other things. 

Language: Since their pacifiers have been relegated to their cribs, I've definitely noticed an increase in their vocabulary. They can ask for a bunch of different foods/drinks, name animals, and tell you about various vehicles. And they use verbs, too :) The longest phrase I've heard one of them say is, "No, my wee-oo truck!" (that's a fire truck, if you don't speak toddler-ese). I try not to stress out when I hear other kids of a similar age stringing together whole sentences, though. We were at the library where a girl remarked, "This one doesn't fit" about a gear toy she couldn't get to work. Her mom said she's two and a half. I was like, wow! My kids would just say, "ahh!" or "help!" or "mama!" about that situation...

They understand some opposites like up/down, on/off, and empty/full. Hmm, but that might be more of a cognitive skill than language. I think they also know the numbers 1 and 2, sometimes.

Sleep: They are still taking an afternoon nap, thanks be to God, for about 2-3 hours. These days, they've been going to bed around 8:30-9pm and sleeping till 7:30-8am. I would prefer that schedule to shift a bit earlier, but it's working out ok so I won't complain. I usually am awake by 6:30am so I just try to get stuff done in the morning, quietly, before they wake up.

Eating: Per the above list, you'll note both kids love lentils - specifically, split red lentils, simmered in chicken broth, with curry powder. They've become increasingly picky, but they still like those legumes! Otherwise, they pretty much are subsisting on toaster waffles, peanut butter, dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, cashews, applesauce, and the occasional carrot. They don't like crunchy carrots, which means I'm still cutting them into pieces and steaming them. Way easier than purees, though! Oh yes, and they would eat popsicles and cookies all day, every day, if I would let them.

Social skills: We've had a few play dates lately where I've been able to watch them around other kids. It's kind of comical because they are fairly good about sharing with each other, but rather oblivious to sharing with new playmates. We were at a kid's house who had a ride-on toy car. Gus and Gibson kept hopping in and out of it, taking turns with each other. When I suggested that the other kids also wanted to play with the car, they were incredulous and protested loudly! 

At parks, they have started interacting positively with the other kids sometimes, especially older kids. They got into a game of chase/tag a few weeks ago with some kids who were about 8 or 9, and there was much giggling all around.

Physical development: According to the bathroom scale, Gus is 26 lbs and Gibson weighs in at 25. They are not quite 36" tall yet. (Learned that the hard way after we waited in line 20 minutes for the Ferris wheel at Knott's Berry Farm...) They're wearing size 2T for most clothes, though 18 months pants. Shoes are size 6 toddler. I wish their feet would hurry up and grow into size 7 b/c the size 7 shoes we have are way easier to get off and on than the 6s. Live and learn, Mom!

They can't jump yet. We just checked yesterday. Gibson stood on his tiptoes and laughed while DF and I hopped up and down. Gus just kept climbing on the couch cushions.

They're a lot better at running without falling/tripping these days, even going down an incline. That's a nice skill to have. Gus is decent at catching a ball from a close distance, but he thinks it's funnier to stand with his hands clasped together and laugh at you when you get ready to throw.

Emotions: parenting literature these days is all about teaching emotional intelligence/understanding/regulation, and I've totally jumped on that bandwagon. We talk about our feelings a lot. Here's a sample of what happened earlier today.

Me: "Gus, look at your brother's face. He has a sad face because you took the cushion he was using. Hmm..." <pause for comprehension> "What can you do to help him feel better?" 

Gus: thinks, then says, "Toys?" 

Me: "Gibson, do you want a toy?" 

Gibson, sighing sadly: "No" (Gibson has a reeeeeally good sad face, I must say) 

Me: "Gus, could you share the cushion?"

Gus: thinks a bit..."Uh huh. Share!"

Me: "Gibson, Gus says he can share the cushion with you! How do you feel now?"
Gibson: "Happy!"
Me: "Oh good, I'm glad you found a way to play together" <yes, that's a phrase from Daniel Tiger. I use it a lot.>

We also play a game where we make different faces, like happy, sad, angry, scared, and surprised. They seem to like it. 

So, there's life in a nutshell. I always like looking back at these reflection posts. Hope you enjoyed reading it, too :)

Mom Identity

It's strange to me that all the people I'm meeting in California only know me as a mom. I don't mean that I'm only a mother - it's just that they're getting to know me during this phase of life when being a mom is my primary identity. I still feel like an amateur parent quite often! And I've only been a mom for like 7% of my life at this point. I feel like I should introduce myself like this, "Hi, I'm Salmonista! I've moved around a lot and like making new friends. I probably used to be more interesting before I had kids. Now they're pretty much all I talk about. But I still have an independent identity buried in here somewhere! Let me just scrape off these soggy Cheerios and see if I can find it..."

So far, the majority of people I've befriended here are also parents, some with more years of experience than me. I suppose I'm viewing the people I meet through the lens of parenthood as well. We all have multiples factors that comprise our self-concepts; parenthood is one of many identity "hats" we wear. And yet, it's what we have in common.

Meanwhile, I'm starting to realize that I need opportunities to stretch my non-mom muscles from time to time. Back in Memphis, I had opportunities to press pause on the mom side of my brain when I was at choir practice or teaching English. As we get settled in to life in LA, I am on the lookout for ways I can engage in the world beyond the orbit of my two year olds. Don't get me wrong - I love my kids, and I usually am happy to spend time with them. But all day, every day just wears me out after awhile.

Bye Bye Binky

(That title is a total misnomer, BTW, but it's just too alliterative to pass up. We never called pacifiers "binkies" and we also haven't said an official goodbye.)

Good news! Operation Gently Limit Pacifier Usage was a success! Honestly, I can hardly believe it worked. I was sure I was going to be surrounded by much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but the whole thing went rather smoothly.

Since I know you're curious, here's how it went down. Yes, I took notes. Detailed notes. I cope with stress by collecting data and being analytical, ok?

Saturday (9/23/17)
Watch Sesame Street video clip of Elmo getting rid of his pacifier. (Episode #4264, if you are wondering. I could only find a bootlegged version on YouTube that I shall not link to, so as not to incur the wrath of the copyright police.)

Talk about how Gus and Gibson are going to keep their pacifiers in bed from now on, not walk around with them in their mouths. They look worried and say, "no."

Sunday (9/24)
When I pick them up from the church nursery, Gus is whimpering and asking for his pacifier, which he somehow lost over the course of the morning. Seeing his sad face makes me more committed to my goal, because I know he can have fun playing in the nursery without a pacifier.

After nap, watch Elmo episode again. Sing the "Bye, bye Binkie" song. [Aside: it is not to the tune of Bye Bye Birdie, although you'd imagine it would be...] I tell them that tomorrow, the pacifier has to stay in bed and they can only use it during sleep time. I say that I want to hear them talk more. They say "ok" but keep happily slurping away on pacis.

Eat frozen bananas for dinner. That's it.

5:55pm (as my stress level rises, the log gets more detailed)
Sing Bye Bye Binky again. Tell them again about leaving pacifiers in bed tomorrow. Apparently they don't understand "tomorrow," because they both take pacis to bed and drop them over the side. Then they ask for a popsicle. Wow! High fives all around!

We then successfully go to the grocery store without pacifiers, which is totally shocking. I have some in my pocket but never have to pull them out.

7:15pm
Back from the store. Boys look at pacifiers in bed and repeatedly ask for them. I try comforting them with toys and blankies, but it doesn't work. I explain if they need pacifier time, it's ok, but they have to stay in their beds with pacis.

7:20pm
Gibson up for a snack

7:24pm
Gus jealous that Gibson got to go on the balcony, so he gets up too

7:43pm
Both back in bed with pacifiers. Gibson was the instigator.

7:44pm
Gus wants more melon. Gibson stays put.

7:46pm
Gus back to pacifier

7:49pm
Both up to play choo choo (where they line up their toy boxes and pretend it's a train)

Pacifier-free until bedtime at 8:30pm

*I'm now going to abbreviate pacifier as P*

Monday (9/25)
7:35am
Gus gets up and leaves P in bed. Gibson up a few minutes later

7:50a
Gus asks for P, back in bed

7:53a
Gus up because he wants to watch me make coffee

8:03a
Breakfast time, then no one asked for P afterwards!

8:50a
Still no Ps! They have stripped themselves down to just diapers but whatever works!

9:09a
They're playing nicely in their bedroom. I say, "I really like hearing you talk more!" They respond by asking for Ps. Oops, guess that backfired.

Gus gets up for about 10 minutes to get dressed and play, but Gibson won't budge.

9:26a
I try a new approach - I leave their room while they sit in cribs with Ps. Tell them to let me know when they want to get up.

9:34a
I hear giggling. Go in to find that Gus has taken off his diaper and, well, you can guess what he's playing with. Good Lord, now Gibson is copying him!

9:41a
Both finally up and dressed, no Ps. Eating popsicles.

Go to library for art time. This turns out to be an extreme test of my patience and willpower, but we make it without Ps. Have to let them cry in the van on the way home and empathize that their Ps are at home in bed.

11:30a
Gus requests P when we get home but only stays in bed for one minute. Tell him I'm proud of him. Gibson is eating lunch, no P.

11:55a
Gus slightly bumps head and requests an ice pack (not P)!

Afternoon nap with Ps, get up after nap time with just a few extra P minutes

3:25pm
I tell them we need to go to Costco. Gus replies by asking for P. Gibson also wants P time, then drinks juice.

No Ps from 3:40-6:10pm but OMG very stressful outing! Ice cream everywhere! I try to take them to the snack bar to get dinner. They see a picture of ice cream on the menu. Silly me, I order it, thinking we can have it for dessert after they eat pizza. Instead, Gibson only eats ice cream for dinner, and that's mostly with his hands rather than the perfectly functional spoon that was provided. Gus eats ice cream first, then wants pizza. Gibson is not interested in sitting around waiting for Gus to finish, so he plays with the garbage cans instead. (Also, FYI the Alhambra, CA Costco is a total zoo no matter what time of day you go there.)

6:10pm
Both are screaming when we get home. I suggest P time. They calm down in a few minutes.

7:40pm
Gus needs about 2 minutes of P time after bath. He is usually really grumpy about getting out of the bath, and tonight is no exception.

8:30pm
Ps in for the night.

Observations:
They seemed to fall asleep faster today for nap and bedtime than usual
Total (awake) pacifier time estimated at less than 1 hour. Whoa! I thought it would be way higher

===
Ok, if you have read this far, I think you're part of my hard core fan club, so I thank you for your support and patronage! :) I'll just summarize the remaining days here for you.

Tuesday (9/26)
Both boys ask for P during breakfast. I feed them more food and that seems to work.

I put them in bed for 5 minutes of P time so I can finish vacuuming. Who's the real addict here??

When they are screaming, I ask if they want Ps, but they say no. Play with Kindles instead.

Both in cribs with Ps, and they each have one leg up over the side. They haven't figured out how to climb out of cribs yet. Oh dear...

I make sure to praise them at bedtime for how they are doing so well at leaving Ps in bed, talking more, and being big boys.

Wednesday (9/27)
I have a moms' group this morning, and the boys go to childcare with no Ps and no drama. I'm shocked!

Now that they can talk more, they're sort of driving me insane. I bet they said "Mommy" 100 times each during our evening trip to the park...

Just a few short incidents of pacifier time today. Usage is definitely decreasing.

Thursday (9/28)
Both suddenly request P time while watching TV in the afternoon. It was after two repair people had come to fix something in the apartment. Related?
=====

And now, here we are, October 6 and the boys seem like they've adapted to the pacifier restrictions. They hardly ask for pacifier time at all during the day. They're still pumped to get a paci for sleep time, so I hope we're back to that item being a sleep association. I'm in no hurry to 100% get rid of pacifiers. That will come when we're all ready.

Overall, I'm surprised that it went as well as it did. This was my first real attempt at explaining something to the boys and then having them demonstrate they understand by their actions. (I mean, a complex idea like "Pacifiers stay in bed," not "Throw this wrapper in the garbage can." It gives me hope for the future that, someday, we'll be able to have real conversations where we actually communicate with each other!