A Day in the Life 2025

Welcome to my annual sociological research data collection on myself where I record everything I do in one day. My plan was to do the first Friday of January, but I forgot about it last week. Last Friday was more pleasant, though! I can briefly report that on January 3rd, I worked in the morning, and in the afternoon the 4 of us went to the California Science Center where we watched an IMAX movie about blue whales. For dinner, we went to Jack in the Box and one kid devoured almost an entire breakfast combo platter.

And now, for the report on January 10, 2025. Buckle up, it's a doozy!!

Location: Pasadena, CA. In the SE part of town, not our regular north-central neighborhood.

Cast of characters: DF, my husband. Gus and Gibson, our 9 year old twins.

7:00 AM wake up, later than normal. I had a hard time sleeping last night due to all the stress of the Eaton Fire, a huge wildfire that sparked in the early evening on January 7th in Altadena and spread out of control due to wind gusts near 100 mph that night. I check my phone for fire updates and see nothing moved closer to us overnight.

7:05 AM the kids wake up and come join DF and me in bed. (Normally, I would wake them up by 6:30 AM on a Friday but school is cancelled due to the fire. We were supposed to have a PTA Blacktop Coffee for parents at school this morning, along with campus clean up...obviously not happening.) DF attempts to keep snoozing while the boys and I play some NYT games. Gibson gets to choose the starting word for Wordle today - he picks ZEBRA. We still manage to solve it, lol. Then we all work together to solve Connections, though none of us understand the purple category and have to watch a YouTube video to learn about [SPOILERS!] the Monty Hall problem.

7:45 AM get up when the children get too rambunctious in bed. They go back to their room to play on their Chromebooks with towels tucked in the crack at the bottom of the door to keep the soot out.

8:00 AM I head downstairs to make some toast and tea.

Aside: Downstairs? Since when do we live in a 2 story house? Well, since we had a fire at our house about 2 months ago, which caused extensive damage to our kitchen and caused us to be displaced. We're staying in a rental house about 3 miles south of where we usually live. It's new construction, 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 1200 sq ft with an attached garage. The fire was caused by spontaneous combustion in our neighbor's yard waste on a red flag fire danger day. So yeah, these fires going on right now in LA County? They've got all 4 of us rather on edge.

But back to the present.

While I eat breakfast, I text/message with people near and far who are checking in on us. We are south of the fire evacuation and warning zones, though we do have bags packed and ready to go if evacuation becomes necessary. Our regular house is in a Level 2 evacuation warning zone. I'm staying in touch with the neighbors over there. The fires got within a mile or so when the flare ups were really bad.

8:30 AM Make breakfast for the boys and retreat back upstairs to our bedroom/my office, where it's less smoky, again with a towel by the door. 

9:00 AM Sign in to work. I'm in my second year as a part-time grant writer, and I've also been dipping my toes in managing our fundraising database. The agency I work for is located in Altadena. So far our campus has been spared in the fire. I draft some language for potential fire relief-related communications and try to chip away at some other projects, though it's challenging to focus. 

11:30 AM done with work for this week. Feed the children some snacks while discussing how math is applicable to politics. I respond to a friend's question about navigating a fire loss (didn't realize my knowledge was going to be useful so soon...). I also finally find out what water zone we're in at the rental. I knew it wasn't Pasadena Water and Power (PWP), but the landlord is paying the water bill so I wasn't sure. PWP is having troubles with water safety and quality due to the fire. Luckily, this house is served by a San Marino water carrier so we're not in an impacted water zone at this time.

11:50 AM the kids still haven't finished their homework for this week, so DF and I enforce a screen break for homework time. In math, they're multiplying 2-digit numbers (like 16 x 13). And for reading, they have a book in Spanish about hydroelectric power development in Sierra Leone. 

12:30 PM They've made a good effort on homework and are done for today. They watch DF play video games or something on his phone. I take a shower and make sure the squeegee off the walls when I'm done. I'm trying to keep the house nice for the owners, and also I hate scrubbing full tile showers with glass doors.

1:20 PM Eat some leftover pasta for lunch. Pro tip for all you dairy-free people out there: Papa John's garlic sauce is dairy free, and it adds a nice kick of flavor to your standard marinara sauce. While doom scrolling during lunch, I find out that PUSD has closed schools all of next week, too. It makes sense, but oh man, this is going to be rough bc DF is going to be out of town all week at a work training. 

1:45 PM Draft the weekly newsletter for our church Sunday School class. One family in our class lost their home, and another member's place of work was destroyed. It's a very challenging time. We're doing our best to support each other through it all.

More doom scrolling, then I eat some cookies and drink tea. The kids play Cat Quest III on the Nintendo Switch.

3:00 PM I consider doing laundry - our washer and dryer are out in the garage, which is probably full of smoke. I stick my nose into the garage and sniff - yes, quite smoky. Outside the front door, it actually doesn't smell that bad. I briefly open the garage door thinking I'll let it air out, but then realize a bunch of soot and ash will blow in if I do that. So I decide to just wash a load of towels and see what happens. Note, this is the first time any of us have opened an exterior door since Tuesday. It's seriously starting to feel like COVID lock down over here.

3:30 PM the children are going crazy. We play Spot It for awhile. They need to do something physical. This house doesn't have a lot of space to run around safely, so I direct them to their room for a (supervised) pillow fight. They wear themselves out eventually.

4:00 PM I gather up some clothes, shoes, and bed sheets that were donated to us after our fire, but that we haven't been using. One of the boys' classmates lost his home this week, and his mom reached out asking for clothes. I'm glad we have a little extra to share.

4:20 PM I move the laundry to the dryer - smells fine! Then I head out to run some errands in my KN95 mask. First, I drop off the bag of clothes. I need to go to the grocery store, but I decide to stop and get gas on the way because we're at about 1/3 tank and I want to be prepared just in case we have to evacuate. After filling up, I try to start the van and...nothing. It's sputtering but not starting. Oh. My. Word. This is the new (to us) 2021 Honda Odyssey we just bought a month ago when our last van BURNED UP IN A FIRE. And now this one isn't starting and what if we have to evacuate and we don't have a working vehicle and I. AM. TOTALLY. FREAKING. OUT!!! 

I look around and realize that, fortunately, I have happened to stop at a gas station that has an attached mechanic shop. So I walk over and ask a guy if he can help because my van won't start. He grabs some type of tester thing and says, oh yeah, your battery is shot. He jump starts the van for me. I'm grateful. I scrap the plan to get groceries b/c no way am I stopping this vehicle now. I call DF and ask him to try to find the Honda roadside assistance info we got from the dealership. I decide to hit the drive thru at Del Taco to pick up dinner, as it's usually a family favorite. 

5:45 PM return home, backing the van into the garage in case someone can come and replace the battery. I call the Honda service line and find out they are not like AAA and won't deliver a battery to me. But they will tow me to a Honda service center, if needed. I'm still freaking out because what if the van won't start next time I try??

6:00 PM wolf down an epic burrito and feel a bit better about life. Also I had a deal in the Del Taco app to buy one get one free, and who doesn't like free burritos? DF and I talk about the van and decide we'll see if it will cooperate to start up in the morning. I'm having flashbacks to when this exact same thing happened the last time we bought a used Odyssey - that a few weeks later, the battery died. I wonder if there is a battery conspiracy going on, but I can't figure out what the angle would be there.

6:40 PM Family video game time - Super Mario Party Jamboree. Surprisingly, there are no tears shed. That might be a first! We just play a few mini games.

7:00 PM Screens off for kids. Epic Gus and Gibson battle when they both go upstairs and somehow manage to start a fight about using the bathroom...even though there are 2 bathrooms up there. Meanwhile I'm trying to pay an invoice to our builder on our ADU (Accessory Dwelling Unit). Construction was almost done on the ADU when the fire hit - the first one, in November. Now things are kind of in limbo, but we do owe the contractor money for the work he had already completed. The ADU sustained some fire damage in November. We're hopeful all those repairs will be covered by our insurance.

7:20 PM we play a family game of Coup. It's a card game. I quickly die, per usual. Everyone is happier when mommy dies first.

7:45 PM time to get ready for bed. It's the usual potty time and brushing teeth with a lot of stalling mixed in. Now that we live in a house with stairs, the kids like to play games that involve racing Slinkies, or cars, or other toys down the stairs. Once they're finally ready for bed, I grab their new footless footies from the dryer. (what we call PJs that are one piece but don't cover your feet). It's my turn for storytime tonight, which still involves a Goldilocks story! Tonight the Three Bears' house catches on fire when they are making porridge on the stove but get teleported away. I have to say, fires have been popping up a lot in their stories lately. Trauma coping strategy, I assume.

8:30 PM boys read books in bed. We're running low on library books. Hopefully at least some of the library branches will be able to re-open soon.

9:00 PM they're in bed but arguing. Gus was tapping on his legs while I was singing Gibson his good night song (Silent Night), which caused Gibson to growl-sing in annoyance. Not heavenly peace.

9:10 PM I hear them through the door discussing words they know in different languages. I venture downstairs to switch over one last load of laundry.

9:15 PM Upon returning from the garage, I heard the pitter patter of little feet on the second floor. I find them both underneath Gibson's bed, with blankets. They say something about a fortified bed that I don't really care to understand. I extract them both and tuck them in on the mattress side of their beds.

Then I typed up this epic saga, and that's about it for now. 

What will our lives look like in 2026?? Guess you'll have to come back next year to find out if I remembered to write about it!

A Day in the Life 2024

Hey readers, it's been awhile but I'm resurrecting the blog for my annual day-in-the-life post. I record everything I do on the first Friday of the new year. Looks like I forgot to do 2023, so I consulted my calendar to see that on 1/6/23, I was working in the morning, then met up with a friend for coffee in the afternoon. And now, on to the present!

Cast of characters: DF = Das Fenster, aka Dad. Gus & Gibson the 8 year old twins.

Location: Pasadena, CA

I sort of forgot to record the exact times that things happened today. Here are my best recollections.

7:00 AM Wake up when the boys come into our bedroom to tell me dreams they were having about school. They are on their last day of winter break and apparently having some feelings about returning to the academic life. I get up with them and we hang out on the couch in the den for awhile before facing the day. Once we get moving, I have to play Wordle, NYT Connections, and Spelling Bee, my daily ritual.

8:30 AM DF and I have a video appointment related to one of the kids and a medical condition. It goes well and is over sooner than I thought, so I make some breakfast and sign on to work earlier than expected.

9:00 - 10 AM work. I started a new job this past May as a grant writer, and so far it's going great. I work 20 hrs/week for a local child welfare and mental health agency. It's a remote job and flexible with my schedule. Yay! I just have one hour to finish up this week so it's a short day today.

After work I hang out with the guys for awhile. DF has been on vacation for the last 2 weeks, though he's normally off on Fridays. 

11:30 AM I go to the library to return our current stash and check out some new books for the kids. They usually read one or two picture books each night, so I try to keep our supply fresh! They are in 3rd grade this year, still doing the dual language (Spanish) program. Their teacher recommends that they read in both languages but I forgot to get any bilingual or Spanish books today, oops.

12:30 PM back home, making lunch for the boys and me. DF scrounged up some leftovers already. I check my email and see a notice from the library that a book I had on hold is now available. D'oh! 

1:00 PM Time to send out the weekly newsletter for our church group. DF is the president of our adult Sunday School class, so as the "first lady" my duties include drafting the weekly email for him. Gotta put my Communication degrees to work, you know :) 

1:30 PM the boys have been scheming all of break to turn the living room into a giant fort, and apparently today is the day. Gus gathers all the couch cushions in the house and piles them up in the middle of the floor. Then we discuss his vision for the fort. Gibson chimes in. We build a rather large fort that does indeed take over most of the living room. They also want to sleep in it tonight. We shall see... While they play in the fort, I fold some laundry.

2:30 PM play Super Mario Wonder, a new Nintendo Switch game they got for Christmas. All 4 of us can play together, which is nice. I like to be yellow Yoshi, who is a character that is invincible to everything except falling/getting squished. It's a good match for my skill level, lol.

3:00 PM Gibson and DF continue playing video games, while Gus and I need a break. He watches some YouTube while I pull out my laptop and work on PTA Treasurer stuff. I compare our budget to actual for income and expenses and draw up a draft of a mid-year budget adjustment. I was the PTA Secretary for the previous two years. This is my first time serving as Treasurer - it has been a bit of a learning curve, but I think I'm getting the hang of it now. I should also be working on the student picture pages for the school yearbook, but I don't really know what I am doing so I will continue to avoid that task. 

5:00 PM off to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. Gibson is on a major pizza kick lately. I stop by the library again while I'm out to retrieve the book that came in for me, Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver. I saw this book on several of my friends' lists of "top books of 2023," so I'm looking forward to reading it!

5:30 PM DF and the boys are playing hide-and-seek while I load the dishwasher. They mainly seem to be hiding in their fort, which is not very sneaky. I suggest we all play a board game and we decide on Catan Jr. Things are going well for a couple rounds until a child who shall remain nameless has an epic meltdown due to other people not playing the way he thinks they should. The game is called on account of tears. 

6:30 PM the boys play Minecraft until the end of screen time at 7:00 PM. Then I get them a snack.

7:30 PM get the kids ready for bed. I still brush their teeth for them, and they always want me to tell them a story while I do so. Tonight I try to describe what my school was like in 3rd grade. I attended a private Christian school and recall pledging allegiance to the American flag, the Christian flag, and the Bible. Where are my 1980s evangelical kids at??

8:00 PM DF reads them a bedtime story in the living room, then there is a lot of scurrying back and forth as they gather everything they need to prepare the fort for bedtime. I sing them Silent Night, their bedtime song, and tell them that if it's too hard to sleep in the fort, I'll help them move to their beds. I'm posting this blog just before 9PM and all is quiet behind the couch cushions...wish us luck!

I will be reading my new book and then going to bed soon myself!

A Day in the Life, Year 7

This is everything that happened in my life on Friday, January 7, 2022. Location: Pasadena, CA.

Gus and Gibson are 6 1/2 years old.

6:30 AM Gus and Gibson wake up and crawl into our bed. They bring stuffed animals with them. Gus has a cheetah; Gibson has a family which includes a dog dad, unicorn mom, and baby dogicorn. Today the dog-unicorn family decides to adopt the cheetah as well. 

7:00 AM time to get ready for school. The kids are in first grade this year and have been attending in person since the beginning of the year, minus one week of quarantine due to positive COVID cases. I help them put on their uniforms, then make myself some coffee. I check my email to see negative COVID test results. The kids' school tests everyone on Wednesdays. 

7:20 AM Kindles turn off. I use the parental control functions to set time limits for them, and once they got used to it, it has been working well to keep our morning schedule moving along. Now it’s breakfast time. We have a standard breakfast menu that is hanging on the wall in the dining room. Gibson grabs a pencil and draws a picture of a cookie on it in hopes that it would join the permanent rotation along with toast, cereal, and waffles. Good try, ha ha.

7:42 AM we are out the door! Kids in puffy coats today because it is below 50 degrees. Too cold for Californians!

7:48 AM manage to drop off at school just before the bell rings. They get a squirt of hand sanitizer and temperature checks as they enter. I have upgraded their cloth masks to KN95 now as the Omicron variant is running rampant through LA county. Over 25% of the student body was absent on Tuesday. I stop to get gas at $4.45 a gallon.

8:10 AM Back at home, I eat breakfast then chat with DF. He works Monday-Thursday and has every Friday off. A few months ago, he had to start going back to the office about half time. I play some Duolingo, a language learning game. I want to keep my Spanish skills strong. Recently I’ve started Japanese as well. I like learning hiragana (one of the writing systems). It’s so different from English, and I think it is cool that humans have created such diverse ways to communicate. I play a few other games and scroll social media.

9:20 AM take shower. I try out some new skin care I received as Christmas presents, including a moisturizing eye cream and a spot/blemish controlling turmeric roller. 

9:50 AM Time for some work. I submit my first time sheet for paid employment since 2015. I just started a new job. This week was online training. It’s a temporary and part-time position administering a standardized test for the US Department of Education. It will be good to get something current on my resume.

Next I type up minutes from a school meeting yesterday. I am the secretary for the school PTA and one other committee this year, called ELAC - the English Learner Advisory Committee. For this one, the meeting is conducted in both English and Spanish, and I produce bilingual minutes. It definitely takes some extra brain power, and there is a bilingual staff member who reviews my work. She says I’m doing ok and it makes her job easier, so I guess I’ll keep it up.

10:00 AM DF takes the van in for an oil change. I will be commuting to different sites around LA and the surrounding suburbs, so I need to have my vehicle in good shape. 

10:30 AM Uncle Monte, DF´s brother, emerges from the guest room and greets me as he gets ready for work. He has been staying with us since the fall. He works swing shift as a delivery driver. 

10:45 AM I am done with the meeting minutes and have the house to myself. I crank up the Hamilton soundtrack while putting away laundry.

11:00 AM DF is back. We watch the latest episode of the Expanse. It’s a sci-fi show on Amazon Prime. Season 6 just started and I’m having a hard time remembering what happened in the previous 5 seasons, in part because most of the action happens on various space ships that all look similar to me…but I still enjoy it.

12:00 PM lunch time, then I wash some dishes and attempt a vinegar-baking soda solution for the hard water stains that have built up in one of our toilets. Oh such a glamorous life I lead. It worked somewhat but I need something stronger to really do the job. While waiting for the solution to do its thing, I read a social media post about vaccine mandates that is full of logical fallacies. I write a rebuttal in my head but decide not to actually post it.

12:40 PM meal planning. Since I will be working 2-3 days a week for the next couple of months I am doing what I can now to get organized. DF and I discuss some meal options, and I look up a few new ideas to add to the rotation. I make a spreadsheet of ideas. 

1:00 PM DF turns on the new Nintendo Switch to play Zelda. It was a whole family Christmas present. I ponder if the children would eat a casserole. I can’t recall them ever doing so… I put aside the meal planning project and read a book instead, “The City We Became” by N.K. Jemisin. I am on chapter 2 and I am already digging it! She is a great author. My latest Amazon order arrives, replacement parts for the robot vacuum, which is probably my favorite household tool. 

2:00 PM I leave to pick up the kids from school

2:50 PM return home. The school is a 2-3 minute drive from us. What takes so long? Their class comes out late, and they boys like to play on the steps outside the building. We walk across the street to the library to use the bathroom, but of course they have to fight about who is going to go inside first. They have been so loud inside the library lately that I make one of them wait outside with me while the other one goes inside. 

I get them a snack and set the 1 hour sand timer while they watch Daddy play Zelda. They get an hour of screen time before homework. I eat my own snack and putter around the house.

4:00 PM homework time, but first they request a piece of candy. They have a math worksheet, a book to read, and their snap (sight) words to review. They need a brain break between English and Spanish so they play Prodigy, a fun math game that involves battling wizards.

4:45 PM I head over to Domino's to pick up pizza for dinner. It's cold and foggy outside. My phone says it's 53 degrees but it feels colder. At home the kids are still playing prodigy. They take a pizza break, but get distracted by yogurt pretzels that I left on the table from earlier. Oops. I heat up some leftovers for myself, since I don't eat cheese.

5:30 PM homework is done and the guys are playing more Nintendo. I watch as the gamers beat the final Bowser boss on New Super Mario Bros! Fun animations at the end. I'm half watching thyen play, half scrolling on my phone. I have also poured myself a glass of Two Buck Chuck Cab Sav. Not that bad really, I usually get the red blend but Trader Joe's was out of it.

7:00 PM screens off, and the nightly WrestleMania begins. The rest of the routine includes snacks, read stories, go potty, and brush teeth. I manage to load and start the dishwasher, too. 

8:00 PM I tell the Goldilocks story tonight. Yes, this tradition continues! Tonight's tale is Among Us themed (the video game). Gus is an imposter, Gibson is a sniper, Mama Bear is a ninja, Baby Bear is a medic. I don't have to say much, as the boys pretty much tell their own story these days. One more potty break, several hugs and kisses, and by 8:20 I'm out of their room. Better than usual these days! 

8:28 PM Gibson calls me in to tell me he's scared of Huggy Wuggy. This is a character in a video game he has never seen or played, but it's apparently a popular thing to talk about to scare your classmates in first grade. I tell him to think about something happy like unicorns or candy rainbows. Gus says he's scared of furry tarantulas crawling in the window. They talk to each other for a bit and eventually quiet down. 

I eat a snack and veg out on the couch until bed time.

9:55 PM I get ready for bed as another day in the life comes to a close.

A Day in the Life, Year 6

 It's time for my annual tradition - make a list of everything I did on the first Friday of the new year (that's not Jan. 1).

Cast of characters

DF = Das Fenster, my husband

Gus & Gibson = our twin offspring, age 5

Location: Pasadena, CA

Date: January 8, 2021

7:00a Gus & Gibson come into our room and crawl in bed. They ask if it's a school day (sí, es viernes). We all snuggle under the covers until they start fighting bc Gus wants to pretend his grandpa died before he was born and Gibson does not approve.

7:20a get up. Make coffee, unload dishwasher.

7:30a DF gets up. He works from home now due to the pandemic, and he still has Fridays off. He tells me about a dream he had in which I died…

7:40a make breakfast.

7:45a kids turn their Kindles off, after being reminded repeatedly. Eat breakfast. 

7:55a sign on to school. Find out we have a substitute teacher today. Oh, this should be interesting.

8:05a the sub just told us she doesn't really know Spanish. (We're in a dual language kindergarten where 90% of instruction is in Spanish.) Gus says he doesn't need to go to school if it's in English. Gibson is laughing at her attempts at Spanish pronunciation

8:30a we made it to break time (descanso!) At least this sub knows how to use most of the remote learning technology. The last time we had a substitute, she really struggled with that aspect. During the break, the boys and DF play with race cars while I drink coffee and do a sudoku puzzle.

8:40a back to school. Math class actually goes fine. For reading, we listen to a cute book about a zombie who likes to eat vegetables.

9:25a long break. I wash my face and put in contacts. Gibson comes into the bathroom to ask for help with a Lego creation, then drops bricks under a shelf and I have to retrieve them from the dust. I get dressed in my daytime pajamas. We're on what feels like day 7 billion of staying home due to covid-19. LA county is experiencing rapid virus spread right now. Our family is not leaving the house for at least another 4 days. We're quarantining since we traveled out of state for the holidays.

9:45a kids are pretending something about Pokemon. I help Gibson assemble a giant egg with his stuffed turtle inside.

9:55a start their online homework. We read a book about animals that are orange. 

10:05a Gus has lost his focus. Back to legos. Gibson plays the reading game a bit more then joins in the Legos. They eat a snack. I return to sudoku.

10:32a Gus realizes he didn't do much work during the break and starts freaking out.

10:35a school starts again. Time for phonics. It's a semi disaster at first since the teacher doesn't know Spanish. Then the students start helping her.

10:55a Gus melts down over writing words. I carry him to his room to take a break. 

11:05a actual break time. I eat a snack while boys play/fight. I take full advantage of DF being off on Fridays!

11:15a last session of school. We watch a video about reptiles that is pretty cool. Then they draw a picture of a reptile. Gibson takes this opportunity to draw a tiny snake. Gus teaches me a new one, a lizard from Australia called the thorny devil. He says he learned about it from Wild Kratts. The day ends with PE (dance videos). I have to break up one freezing ice/fire eagle fight.

12:00p school is done. Kids fill their footie PJs with plastic balls and crack themselves up. 

12:10p Gus is supposed to have a small group with the teacher's aide. I forcibly remove several toys from his PJs. The teacher arrives and he practices reading. He then refuses to write letters (anyone notice a theme here??) and the lesson ends in tears. 

12:40p I point out a pile of ignored toys and propose getting rid of them, which makes the kids immediately start playing with them. Gus is rejecting all the lunch options I offer while also begging for candy.

12:47p I nearly get stabbed in the eye with a paper periscope. Leave the playroom to eat lunch.

1:10p I pick peanuts out of a container of mixed nuts - with skin for Gus, no skin for Gibson. I believe this is lunch. They get a piece of candy afterwards. 

1:25p finally start doing school work. 

2:10p done with school work. It was a struggle but we finished all assignments. Gibson complained a lot about how long our last name is (6 letters) because one assignment was to write your first and last name five times. 

2:15p the guys turn on the Wii to play Lego Batman. I catch up on the news.

2:45p the news is too much. COVID, attempted coup, racism, general political upheaval… I sneak into the kitchen and eat some coconut ice cream while the kids are distracted by video games. Make a cup of tea. Then I check social media, but just a bit so I don't get sucked in. Play a game on my Kindle.

3:55p forced outside time. Come on people, we have a nice yard and it's 71 degrees. 

Kids ride scooters and bikes in the alley. I pick some grapefruit. Gibson starts whining that his legs are tired after maybe 20 minutes. We're all becoming total couch potatoes.

Back inside, we make grapefruit juice. The boys are helping until they both stick their hands into the sugar container seconds after I tell them not to. They are then shocked, SHOCKED, that I say they are done helping and have to leave the kitchen.

5:00p I ponder what leftovers options we can rustle up for dinner. After getting the kids to eat something resembling a meal, we decide it's movie night.

5:40p pop some popcorn and watch Fantasia 2000 on Disney+. I enjoy a Rip City Lager from Deschutes Brewery, a Christmas present from my brother. We give the movie 4 thumbs up.

7:00p time to build a fort in the den. This has been happening every night for the last week. 

7:10p they stopped at making a pile of cushions. Now they are dropping reusable ice packs down their footie PJs because they got too hot with all the jumping around.

7:20p oh good lord, they are filling their PJs with balls again. Is it bedtime yet????

7:30p story time. We're currently reading Little House on the Prairie. Gotta be honest, I'm editing a lot on the fly to skip the most egregiously racist parts. Not sure we'll continue the series after this (book #2). I loved them as a kid but I'm reading with new eyes now. Like, I didn't understand what it meant that the Ingalls family "settled in Indian country." Whoa, that's some hard core white supremacy there. "We don't consider these 'savages' to be real people, so if we feel like rolling our wagon on in and building a house in the middle of their territory, that should be fine…"

8:00p get the kids ready for bed. 

8:30p DF tells the "Goldilocks" bedtime story. The kids always want a role in the story. Tonight, Gibson is a ninja garbage can. Gus is a baby bear, younger than Baby Bear, and Goldilocks is his mother.

Then it's my turn to sing songs. As usual, Gus requests "Rockabye baby". Gibson's new favorite is "What a Wonderful World."

8:45p official good night. I sit on the couch outside their door and listen to their conversation which, not surprisingly, revolves around poop, pee, and toilets. They quiet down after a few minutes.

9:00p read a chapter in the book Inspired by Rachel Held Evans. It's for a church small group meeting that we'll have on Zoom tomorrow.

9:30p played a few phone/Kindle games then posted this to my blog. I'll head to bed around 10:15pm.

Thanks for reading along!

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

That Twin Life

The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.

Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.

As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!

It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.

Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.

There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.

For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?

Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!

Where to Be Rich in LA

House hunting brings out the demographer/sociologist in me. I haven't lived here long enough to have a total handle on what are the "good" and "bad" areas, but I'm starting to get some ideas.

(I apologize in advance for all the feathers I'm about to ruffle.)

Areas that are good tend to have:

• Rich people
• White people
• Maybe Asian people
• "Good" schools as defined by a score of 8+ on Great Schools
• Well-funded public services
• Crime that is not overt

Areas that are bad tend to have:

• Poor people
• Brown people
• Black people
• Asian people who aren't integrated into mainstream American culture
• "Bad" schools (scores 1-3)
• Poorly funded public services
• Visible crime, graffiti, gangs
• Noise and/or pollution

You know what I see as the main differences on these lists? Socioeconomic status and race. So if I ask myself, "Where should we live?" what I'm really wondering is, what kind of white people are we? Statistically speaking, our income puts us in the third quartile for Pasadena (between 50-75% of median). I feel awkward calling myself rich, but I think it might be true.

Then I see these lists like "Best Places to Raise a Family Around LA" which should be titled "Where Rich People Live." I mean seriously, #1 on the list is Manhattan Beach, where the average sales price of a three bedroom home is $1.8 million. So I guess my family is richer than we are poor, but we're not rich rich.

The point I'm trying to make here is that one can't just choose to be rich. In many cases, the deck is stacked against you from the start. And we can't keep using socioeconomic status as a proxy variable for everything in life. Which leads me to the following scatter plot:



(If that's not displaying properly on your device, or you'd like to see the supporting data, click here.)

What are we seeing in this chart? 
A correlation between a school's rating on Great Schools and the percentage of its student body that is low income, which means qualifying for free or reduced-price lunch. (As an aside, that is really poor around here because there's no adjustment made to the calculations to factor in cost of living in your particular area within the lower 48 states.)

What are we not seeing?
A large portion of the not-low-income families in Pasadena that are not represented on this chart, because their children aren't enrolled in these schools.

Pasadena Unified School District has kind of a mixed reputation around here. In the 1970s, the district was ordered to bus students to end de-facto segregation, a bit of history I haven't found anyone too eager to talk about. As of 2016, only 55% of students living in PUSD boundaries attended public schools. The rest are in charter, private, home school, or transfer out of the district. At the same time, there are several schools with new magnet programs focused on STEM, Arts, and IB, and they also offer dual language options. I'm familiar with a group called Pasadena Education Network that seems to be doing good work towards promoting integrated schools. So overall, I'm observing some positive trajectory.

Where should I try to buy a house, then? (I mean, assuming we stay in Pasadena. We also have been looking around Glendale and Eagle Rock, which is a whole other ball of wax.) To complicate matters, PUSD offers open enrollment, meaning that if you don't want your student to attend your neighborhood school, you can go through a lottery system to obtain a seat for your child at a different school. So it doesn't even really matter, school-wise, where we buy because we can put the kids in a different school. We just have to give them a ride.

But you see that? How privileged am I that the need to provide transportation daily to/from a school a few miles away wouldn't even give me pause? We are a two parent family with only one of us working outside the home right now. We have the resources to pay for a vehicle, gas, and insurance. I'm not trying to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table here. And I have the mental bandwidth to think about all these things two years before my kids will even start kindergarten.

What a world we live in.

If you want to learn more about these topics, here are some resources I recommend:

• How America's Public Schools Keep Kids in Poverty (TED talk by Kandice Sumner)
• Follow Integrated Schools on Facebook
• "The Problem with Great Schools" inspired me to write this post

Putting Kids to Bed: Crossfit Edition

Are you into working out? Have I got a routine for you! It's called Crossfit: Bedtime x2 (no copyright infringement intended)

Material required:

• A room with a door that can close
• 1 nightlight
• 2 raised platforms, 12" high
• 2 medicine balls, 27 lbs each (or heavier for added challenge)
• Plywood for inclined planes
• Optional: toys and books

Set up:

• Position the two platforms against opposite walls, approximately 5-6 feet apart. Make sure they are stable.
• Build ramps rolling off each platform with a holding space at the top for a medicine ball. Ball should be able to easily roll down the ramp; it should not remain on the platform for more than a few seconds.
• For extra difficulty, rig up a pulley system to open and close the door and allow balls to escape into the hallway
• Scatter toys/books around the room
• Plug in nightlight
• Turn off overhead light
• Close door

Workout method:

• Grab one medicine ball. Place it on the top of a ramp. Be sure to squat and use your leg muscles.
• With your core engaged, turn to the other platform and place the second ball atop its ramp.
• Lunge back to platform #1, scoop up the ball from the floor, and replace it.
• Hop over toys so you don't stub your toe
• Get distracted by hopping and allow ball #2 to escape out the door. Retrieve ball #2 and place on platform.

Reps: 

• at least 100

Cool down:

• Ask your workout partner to come in and sit by one platform to hold the ball in place while you do the same for platform #2. 
• Take deep cleansing breaths. 
• Remain seated until the balls are no longer wiggling and are nearly asleep. 
• Tiptoe out of the room. 
• Pour yourself a glass of wine.