This is the final reader-suggested topic for the month!
Here's how I imagined motherhood would be (idealized version):
After we'd been married two years or so, we'd have one kid. During pregnancy, I would go to prenatal yoga and Lamaze/birthing classes where I would make lots of mommy friends, and we'd hang out together after our kids were born. I'd deliver a full-term baby. The baby would wear cloth diapers and be exclusively breastfed without any issues.
After a few weeks of adjusting to life with a baby, I'd be out and about, wearing the baby in a carrier, taking walks around the neighborhood, going to baby story time at the library, etc. Sometimes I'd leave the baby home with daddy to go out for a "girls night" and have some fun, because being a mom certainly would not consume my whole identity.
In a couple more years, we'd have another kid, and then depending on how things were going, maybe a third.
Less idealized, imagined version:
I knew I'd be tired, but everyone kept saying "sleep when the baby sleeps," so I thought I'd get to take lots of naps. I'd read the humorous articles about how to prepare for parenthood and figured there were some grains of truth there. I was apprehensive about taking care of a baby, not having much baby experience. But I figured that once the baby was born, some sort of "mom switch" would activate in my brain and I'd just magically know what to do.
How motherhood really turned out, so far:
After we'd been married 4.5 years, we found out we were expecting identical twins.
<screeeeeech! sound of expectations massively shifting!>
I had a complicated and eventful pregnancy. I wound up spending most of my time napping or eating, becoming increasingly absentminded and requiring frequent bathroom breaks. Towards the end, it took herculean effort to get in/out of the car or up off the couch; yoga wasn't really on my radar screen. We attended a couple birthing classes before I went into the hospital on bed rest but didn't make any new friends. I delivered two months early. The babies wear disposable diapers. Breastfeeding hasn't really worked out for us, so I'm still pumping regularly, and they eat formula about half the time.
For the first I'd say 3.5 months, I was utterly exhausted all the time, unsure of myself and my mothering skills. Even just doing the bare minimum to keep the household functioning - laundry, washing bottles, feeding myself - takes up some time that could have been used for napping. I could barely string two sentences together, let alone get dressed and leave the house. We still rarely go anywhere with the babies because it just takes too much work! We do venture out maybe once a week for something like church or a social event. Girls nights? Ha ha! I don't really trust anyone besides DF to watch the kids, nor do I have energy to be going out in the evenings, plus it would mess up my pumping schedule.
We don't know yet if we're going to have more kids or not; we're grateful for the two infants we have, but they are rather overwhelming.
That's reality for you!
File under: NaBloPoMo Day 29
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