How We Change

When I was a kid, I really didn't like being away from home. Inevitably, I wound up sick to my stomach at every sleepover I went to. My parents had to come pick me up from summer camp once because I was in such a miserable state. Perhaps this is a normal phase to go through, though it seemed to hang around for the better part of my childhood...

I recall when I went to college, about 200 miles away from my family, wanting to just quit and go home in the first few weeks. But I have a pretty vivid memory of walking through campus, feeling nervous and uncomfortable, when I told myself, "I am going to stay and it's going to get better. I'm going to enjoy college life." You know what? I made it! Not only did I survive college, but I really liked it. I branched out and tried new things like student government. I went on retreats, and my parents didn't have to come rescue me because I was turning green in the nurses office!

By my senior year, I got super brave and studied abroad in Central America. Knowing what I know now, I'm kind of surprised I got accepted into the program at all since I wrote in my application essay that I was "a paranoid hypochondriac"...uh, that's a red flag, people! Perhaps it explains why I got waitlisted, actually :) When I arrived in Costa Rica, I did have to deal with some nerves and anxiety at first, but my host family was really kind and patient with me. I settled in soon enough and had a superb experience overall, even though I was encountering new and different things every single day.

Before long, I was moving from Seattle to DC for school without batting an eye. That began my jet setting lifestyle, where I was flying back and forth across the country at least twice a year. Then upon relocating back to Seattle, I got a job that required such frequent travel that I was routinely achieving "elite" airline status. Travel no longer made me nervous; it became routine to the point that I always had my quart-sized zipper bag of liquids filled up and ready to go.

I say all this to explain why it's so strange to me now that I haven't been on an airplane in nearly a year. My subconscious is getting restless, I can tell - I keep having dreams that involve travel. I am not joking. Recent dreams have included airports, hotels, convention centers, boats, cruise ships, various types of buses, bus stops, and all sorts of travel-related scenarios.

Who would have thought the girl who used to be scared to spend the night at a friend's house would now be itching to go explore somewhere new? I hope I can instill a love of "newness" and adventure in my kids. Maybe they'll inherit their father's easy-going nature, rather than their mother's penchant for worrying.