Well, it happened again. I had another late-night cockroach encounter. Sheesh, bugs, why don't you just leave me alone?!
A couple nights ago, I was soooo tired. Both babies have been fighting sleep lately. B was sick; I don't know what was going on with A. I had spent forever convincing them to fall asleep last night, and they finally gave up. I crawled into bed, quietly, so as not to awaken DF. Curling up and thinking sleepy thoughts, I suddenly heard a rustling noise.
"What was that?" I thought to myself. "Is something crawling around outside?" I focused on the sound and determined that it was coming from...inside the house! It seemed to be emanating from near the door to our master bathroom.
Now, I should mention, we moved into this house last summer and less than a week later, I was in the hospital on bedrest at 29 weeks pregnant. As a result, we never fully unpacked. We still have a few piles of belongings sitting around in corners. Although I know this is known pest-encouraging behavior, I have yet to actually pick things up...
Ok, back to the night of the story. <scritch scritch scratch> came the noise from the corner of the room, getting louder. My imagination raced. "Is it a mouse? A baby squirrel?" (I've been concerned that a squirrel family has taken up residence in our attic.) I fumbled in the dark for my phone, not remembering how to activate the flashlight app. I leaned over towards the noisy corner and shone my screen as best I could, pretty sure I was going to find a mouse and have no idea what to do next. Then I saw a gigantic cockroach frolicking in a plastic sack of toiletries! ACK! Once it caught sight of the light, it jumped off the sack and ran to hide in a corner.
Oh dear, I thought, what am I supposed to do now? Trying to kill in under a sack would certainly create quite the ruckus and possibly wake up the babies. I decided that ignoring the roach would be the best option. Maybe it would go hide in the bathroom or crawl back down the drain or something. Just like last time, that plan didn't work. Before long, I heard the pitter-patter of little roach feet heading across the bedroom floor. I couldn't take it. I hopped up out of bed and grabbed a big handful of toilet paper as a weapon. (Wimpy weapon, in hindsight.) I turned on my phone flashlight again and pounced on the bug, but of course it scurried away...out of our bedroom...and ran under the door into the babies' room. DOUBLE ACK! MY CHILDREN ARE NOW UNDER THREAT FROM A DISGUSTING INVADER!
Quickly reassessing my strategy, I ran to the bathroom where I knew I had an empty plastic cup. Now, the tricky part was to catch the bug without disturbing two sleeping babies. I opened the door as quietly as possible, shone the flashlight down on the floor, and observed the roach running full speed ahead toward Baby A's crib. He bounced off the crib skirt and flipped onto his back. Seizing this moment of my opponent's weakness, I swooped down with the cup and trapped the bug on the floor. Success! Now I just had to pull the cup out of the bedroom along the floor without making too much noise.
Once I had the cup + roach in the hallway, I grabbed a piece of junk mail and slid it under the cup so I could transport my prisoner outside and toss him unceremoniously in the dirt next to the garbage can. Back from whence you came, varmint! I would've stomped on him, but I wasn't wearing shoes, and he ran into hiding before I could shod myself.
Whew, victory! My adrenaline was pumping and it took me quite awhile to fall asleep after that. I think the bugs and I should enact a cease-fire line that extends around the perimeter of the house. Wonder if they'll send their prime minister over to negotiate? Or maybe that was him, and I threw him out the door...
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