Marriage Advice

No one's ever really asked us for marriage advice, but that won't stop me from dispensing some anyway :) Here are a few tips I think make for a happy marriage.

Find common interests so you can do things together
For us it's been choir and board games. Choir has given us a vast repertoire of songs from which to create new baby-related versions, such as "This little burp," and "Why won't you sleep?" Board games were more of DF's thing before we got married, but he's converted me into a gamer over the years. We (used to) go to a board game meetup group with a bunch of people, so that was good because he could play his more hardcore strategy games while I played something a little more social.

Work out systems to avoid having the same problem over and over
I have a semi-reliable sense of direction; his is much better. We were getting frustrated when driving because I'm not the best navigator. So, we came up with the solution that when we're going somewhere new, I drive and he navigates. It works much better! Also, we instituted a "no commenting" rule about the other person's driving unless you legitimately think a wreck or ticket is imminent. This is good because then if the other person does comment, you can say, "Were we going to get in a wreck?" If the answer is no, then they know they probably should've kept their mouth shut.

Sleep is a love language
People are all into that Love Languages book. That's fine, and yes, you should try to speak your partner's language. But what that author missed was a 6th love language for new parents: sleep. If my spouse says, "Why don't you take a nap?" or gets up at 3AM to see why a baby is squawking, to me that is so much more meaningful and loving right now than a dozen roses. Sure, maybe it's like an act of service, but I think it's beyond that because he's also sacrificing sleep so that I can snooze. It means a lot :)

File under: NaBloPoMo Day 15