16 Months

I haven't done a "monthly" update in awhile so I figured it was about time to record their latest milestones!

Large Motor Skills
-Both boys are walking like pros now! About two weeks ago, Gibson really took off and now likes to walk all over the house. After a slow start to the walking game, Gus is right on his heels. It's so adorable to see them toddling all over the place like real toddlers, haha. They fall over all the time when walking, so they still crawl a lot, too. I'd say it's maybe 30% walking and 70% crawling right now. Maybe 40/60, depends on the day. I need to get them some real shoes so we can try walking outside at the park. Currently they just have soft sole Robeez for wearing in the nursery.

Fine Motor Skills
-They are obsessed with picking up little crumbs or pieces of fuzz they find on the floor. Tiny little things! Then they play with them and try to eat them. I assume this is good for their fine motor skills.
-I try to get them to color with crayons once in awhile, but they aren't too interested in it. I mean, they like to chew on crayons of course. But I don't think they grasp the concept of coloring on paper yet.

Play Time
-They love to put things into containers, like putting a ball into a box and shaking it around. This is supposed to be a developmental milestone, right? Mainly, they seem to find it entertaining.

-Emptying the recycling bin is one of their favorite pastimes. I have to make sure to put any metal and glass directly into the can outside; they have fun with yogurt containers and cardboard.

-Lately they've really gotten into stuffed animals, like hugging them and playing with them. I can see the little wheels turning in their heads as they realize that different toys have different purposes. (Now let's be honest, all toys are useful for whacking your brother, but some of them also have other uses!)

-We are now putting them both in the bath together. (I finally decided they were good enough at sitting still that they weren't too likely to drown.) They splash with enthusiasm and scream when it's time to get out!

Language

-They don't say a whole lot of words yet, just Mama, Dada, dog, ball, banana, and nigh nigh [meaning pacifier]. However, they do make lots of intelligible sounds! They can make noises like meow, woof, howl, moo, and cheep. They also like to make a "blub-blub-blub" noise by strumming their lips with their fingers. We have this musical turtle toy and they will sing along with me when I say "la la la." Otherwise, they communicate their desires by pointing, grunting, and saying "ah ah!"

Eating

-Both boys are doing great drinking from sippy cups. Gus was on a drinking strike for awhile there, so it's nice to see him consuming liquid again.

-They have definitely gotten more picky in the last few months. They won't eat several foods that they used to wolf down, like peaches and pears. But, they're also fairly open to trying new things. I made a dairy-free version of tater tot casserole that they thought was tasty. (I think that milk upsets their tummies, so we're currently avoiding dairy.)
-They have 6 teeth now, 4 on top and 2 on bottom. 

Personalities

-I'm starting to think they might both be extroverts. They are almost always happy when we are out and about, waving at the shoppers in Kroger or random people at the park. They love playing with other kids in the nursery at church. When we just stay home all day and don't go anywhere, they get kind of grouchy. Or, maybe I get grouchy and it rubs off on them...? 

Understanding Life

(I don't really know what to call this category)

-They understand the word "no" and hate to hear it! This morning, Gibson was trying to push a chair over on top of Gus. I said, "No no, that's not nice" and both boys collapsed on the floor, crying. Sheesh boys, I didn't even yell at you!

-They've figured out who Elmo is and run over to the TV, smiling and giggling, when he comes on.

Sibling Rivalry

The boys have progressed beyond accidentally inflicting injury on each other to full-on fighting. Oh dear. Based on my observations so far, Gus is usually the aggressor. I know, I know, you aren't supposed to "label" your kids. But what else am I supposed to say about it when he is literally throwing his weight around?? (He outweighs his brother by over a pound.)

Scenario:
Boys are playing with books. Gibson is flipping through the pages of one that Gus decides he wants to read. Gus grabs the book and turns aside to read it himself. Gibson cries.

What would you do in this situation? I've tried all of these:

A) Give the book back to Gibson and tell Gus, "Your brother is reading that book right now. You can have a turn when he's done." Then I give Gus a different book. Does it work? HAHAHA of course not! Two seconds later, Gus is back over there, grabbing the same book.

B) Let Gus keep the book he grabbed and give Gibson a different one. Does it work? Actually, most of the time, yes. I'm not sure if this means Gibson's more easy-going, more likely to cave in to bullies, or if he's just accepted the fact that his brother is the boss.

C) Use a different toy to distract them from books altogether. Does it work? About 40% of the time.

To keep the peace, we try to get two copies of toys when feasible. And I've actually seen some progress on the sharing front. We have this push walker that they used to really fight over - I had to hold one of them while the other one would take a turn or else it devolved into a knock-down-scream fest. But now, they can usually share it ok. It's like they keep an eye out for the walker to be available, and if brother is using it, they can find something else to play with while they wait. Oh, there is hope!

I'm trying to remember how my own parents handled it when my sister and I would fight. (Which we did. A lot.) I recall some toys being confiscated to the top of the refrigerator until we could agree to play with them nicely. I think once we were old enough, they expected us to work out our minor squabbles ourselves. Currently, I fear the injuries that will result if I leave my kids to resolve their own disagreements, since their main way of communicating disapproval is whacking brother in the head with the disputed item...

Time Flies

All you parent types who keep telling me, "Oh, enjoy this age - it goes by so fast!"...I think I'm starting to comprehend what you're saying. I didn't understand before because that first year of life (or first 14 months in our case, with our 2 bonus months) was long. Really long. I-wonder-if-this-year-is-ever-going-to-end long. There is no part of me that wants to go back and relive the year. I'm glad I took plenty of pictures to look at later when I get nostalgic.

But now? Time does feel like it's speeding up. (Here I must apologize to DF, as one of his pet peeves is people talking about the various speeds of time passing when it quite obviously always passes at the same rate.) Like, whoa, where did the month of September go? How is it fall break next week already? To me, it seems like the days pass more quickly now. My hypothesis about this phenomenon is because the kids are getting more interesting, so I'm not as bored. In addition, I'm not as sleep deprived. So, we can actually do things and have fun together! In fact just this morning, I led some high chair stretches including excellent upraised arms from my little protégés :)

The other day, I was talking to a woman whose kids are all in their 20s, but the way she was recounting one of her labor stories, you'd think she had just given birth yesterday. It hit me - to her, it probably does feel like just the other day she was holding her babies. Then all of a sudden, poof, they grew up! And before long, that's going to be me! I'll be the mom on Facebook (or whatever social media we're using) in 4 years saying, "Oh my word, how are my babies old enough to be starting KINDERGARTEN!!??"

It's strange to think about it sometimes. Right now, I know a lot about my kids. Not everything, since they can't really talk and tell me what they're thinking. But a fair deal. I know what their different cries/whines/whimpers mean. This too is a bit weird to me, because when they were first born I felt so clueless about them. I didn't really spend much time around babies before I had my own. People told me I'd learn as I went along, and apparently I did. Yay! Such mom skills!

But soon, I'm not going to know everything about them. They'll start talking, but then one day they won't want to talk as much. They'll have private thoughts and feelings that they won't share with me. They might even be able to sneak around and do things that I don't know about! And then one day I'll wake up and my babies will be off at college and I'll be staring out the kitchen window wondering who they are becoming...

(Assuming they go to college. Nothing wrong with vocational school though, boys. The world needs good electricians, too!)

Oh my. Yes. I need to live in the present. I recognize that I can't possibly savor every moment, but I can find some savor-worthy moments each day. And before you know it, today will be yesterday...

Just a Flesh Wound

Oh, I am not emotionally prepared to be raising two rambunctious boys. Too many opportunities for injury!

This weekend, we received our monthly delivery of diapers and related paraphernalia from Amazon. Normally, I toss the big cardboard shipping box in recycling, but DF suggested letting the boys play in it for awhile. It was a huge hit, of course! They loved it! We set the box down on its side so the boys could crawl in and out of it, swing the flaps around, and have fun. I was glad to see them enjoying their new "toy," but I couldn't help hovering next to them like a helicopter; I foresaw a high potential for injury with both of them literally bouncing off the cardboard walls.

Well, even though I was sitting 3 feet away from them watching them like a hawk, they still managed to hurt themselves! Gibson was inside the box, pushing on one side, when all of a sudden Gus crawled over and pushed in the same direction. It was a slow motion box somersault that I jumped up too late to stop. Gus cried a little, but Gibson really wailed so I picked him up. Then I looked down at my shirt and saw he was drooling blood on my shoulder. Upon closer inspection, I could see two little teeth marks where he'd bit his lower lip. Poor kiddo! I grabbed a wet washcloth for him to chew on. The bleeding stopped in like 30 seconds. Yeah, fairly minor injury...

I quickly banished the box to the kitchen and announced that they boys were never playing in a cardboard box again! DF raised his eyebrows and said something to the effect of, "You know they're going to get hurt sometimes, right?" "No!" I replied. "It's my job to protect them from everything!" DF thinks I can't do that, nor should I.

Sigh. He has a point. Most childhoods worth their salt include a handful of skinned elbows and knees, and maybe even a broken bone or two. Plus who's never sat around with friends swapping scar stories? I suppose most scars result from injury. But, ack, I don't like seeing my kids in pain!!

Today is garbage/recycling day, yet the box is still sitting in the kitchen. I relented. Maybe we can find a way to wedge the box between other things so it can't tip over as easily. The children's fun can continue, and I'll keep hovering nearby...

Geographical Politics

Here's a fairly obvious observation: some people are really into politics. Let me clarify - certain people identify parts of the country as "desirable" or "undesirable" based on the region's political leanings. We hadn't even lived in TN for a year when a woman I'd just met learned we moved from Seattle. She replied, "Oh, how did you stand living there? It's so liberal!" I thought this was a strange thing to say to a person to whom she'd just been introduced. What did she know about my personal political beliefs at that point? Nothing. And we weren't talking about anything remotely political before I mentioned where I used to live, so why did she leap to that topic?

I just don't get it. When I meet a new person, it has never occurred to me to comment on the "redness" or "blueness" of the person's home state. For example, let's say I met someone from Rhode Island. First of all, I'd be excited because it's a pretty small state, and there aren't too many Rhode Islanders running around! So I'd probably comment on that. Second, I'd say, "Oh, my cousin went to college in Newport! She really loved it." See what I did there? I said something positive about the area in attempts to form a connection with this stranger and be friendly. This is what I thought Southerners were supposed to be good at! And really, almost all Southerners are. Usually when I mention I'm from the NW, I hear comments like, "Oh, we went on vacation to Washington State a few years ago and just loved it!" Or, "What a beautiful part of the country! I'd love to visit Crater Lake someday." Or even, "Does it really rain as much as everyone says?" I don't really mind that last one because the person is asking for more information.

What I would not say about Rhode Island is, "Ugh, that state is so full of liberal Yankees!" Do you know why not? Because that isn't very friendly. And I've never even been there, so how do I know?

I mean, spoiler alert, I tend to be fairly liberal myself. I grew up in the NW, you know! It seeped into my bones, like moss growing on rocks in the damp winters. Do people here assume that I must be conservative because I live in Tennessee now? Most likely, any liberal tendencies I was harboring washed away as I crossed the mighty Mississippi...right?

Perhaps this is a generational difference. There have been maybe three Southerners total who've made these sorts of comments to (upon first introduction), and all of them have been a good 30+ years my senior. 

I suspect this is not just a Memphis phenomenon though, because when we announced we were leaving Seattle for the South, I had a couple NW friends say similar things to me, but in reverse. (Like, "Oh, I could never live there! It's so conservative!") And those people were of my generation. Uh oh, the polarization is spreading... 

My advice is, get to know your neighbors and be nice to people, regardless of who you're voting for in the upcoming election!

P.S. On second thought, if I met a person from North Korea, I would probably feel compelled to comment on politics, at least to the effect of, "Wow, I've heard that's a really closed country! How did you get out of there?" But other than NK, I shall attempt not to bring up politics upon first meeting someone :)

Accepting Reality: Pacifier Edition

Today, I continue my occasional series of examining what parenting is really like. And once again, I must roll my eyes at my pre-kid self because I specifically remember saying, "My children will never have those pacifier leashes! Kids shouldn't have pacifiers 24/7."

And now, Exhibit A:



I caved. Seriously, I should have bought these pacifier clips MONTHS ago. Do you know what stopped me? Idealism. According to my rules about the world, my children only used pacifiers when sleeping (naps & bedtime). Pacifiers are supposed to be one of their many sleep associations, the others being a dark room, a sound machine making ocean noises, zippered sleep sacks, and sleeping in their cribs.

Without really meaning to, though, I started to stretch the pacifier limit. Maybe they were fussy when waking up from a nap, so I let them keep the pacifier until the next snack/meal time. Or they were sick, and I felt sorry for them, so I let them suck away. Or we were driving somewhere and I just couldn't handle the crying, so I tossed pacifiers into their car seats to keep them quiet. But still, I thought these were just exceptions to the rule. As a result, we suffered through cross-country flights earlier this summer with pacifiers but without clips, so the boys kept dropping their pacifiers on the disgustingly dirty plane floor for 4 hours!! Oh brother! If I'd just accepted the fact that they were using pacifiers more frequently, we could have saved them from a lot of germ exposure (and saved our aching backs, too!)

Now after a particularly illness-filled month of August, I've lost all control of the pacifier situation around here. Gibson doesn't say a lot of words yet, but one he does say is "nigh nigh," and that means pacifier...said in a whiny, pained voice which I interpret to mean, "Mom, I'm going to shrivel up and die if you don't give me a nigh nigh right now!!" Powerless to resist his pleas, I pop the requested blob of plastic/silicone/whatever those things are made of into his mouth. He happily slurps away. And once one brother has a pacifier, there's an all-out war until the other brother gets one as well.

I'm trying really hard not to extrapolate here, but I foresee nothing but doom and destruction as we follow this path to its logical conclusion! At age 1, it's a pacifier. By age 7, they'll want to jump their dirt bikes off a cliff and I'll say, "Oh, I don't know honey, that looks a little dangerous..." but they'll say, "Pleeeeeeeease Mom? Don't ruin our childhoods by making us miss out on this adventure!" And I'll say, "Oh, ok but be careful." And then they'll both wind up in full body casts...

Ok, perhaps that's a bit extreme. But I am concerned about what this pacifier addiction will do for their speech development. How can they learn to talk if they always have something in their mouths? And yes, there are also orthodontic issues to consider, but given their genetics, they're probably going to need braces anyway so I'm not super worried about that. And also our pediatrician told me that there's some evidence that frequent pacifier use leads to more ear infections. Ack! I'm giving them the pacifiers b/c they are upset that they have ear infections! So then they get a new ear infection? Vicious cycle!!

On the Verge of Enjoying

I had a book called "Your Baby's First Year" that alerted me to all the developmental events taking place in my kids' brains. But the AAP hasn't yet published the "Second Year" edition, so now I'm on my own trying to figure out what these little people are up to. (I'm doing my best not to Google every little thing these days...)

My latest observation: I think the boys are starting to enjoy life more. Sure, before they had things they liked, such as eating, crawling, and waving rattles. But now they are starting to show preferences for what actually makes them happy. It's fun to watch them discover life! And whenever we can figure out an event/activity that combines a lot of their "likes," so much the better :)

So far, they have fairly similar interests. I'm sure we'll see different personalities continue to emerge, but for the most part now they are being twins, ha ha.

Popsicles. Maybe this is a summer thing? We've been to 3 outdoor events in the last week where Mempops had a booth, and the boys were definitely happy to slurp on little bites of frozen deliciousness. We also have a daily afternoon popsicle snack at home. This started when Baby A (Gus) went on a bottle-drinking strike and I was trying to keep him hydrated.

Animals. They love to look at animals in real life, on TV, and in books. They are good at making animal sounds, including "meow," "woof," and I've even heard a "moo" or two. They get excited if we're out on a walk in the neighborhood and they hear a dog barking - we have to stop and look at it for awhile.

Music. I had NPR on in the car the other day when they started playing opera. I was going to change the station, but then I heard Baby B (Gibson) singing along in the back seat. Laaaaaa! Sometimes when I'm singing a song, they'll make some "la" noises, too. We have this musical turtle that I'm attempting to use to teach them about chords...

Other kids. They are really interested in what other kids are doing. They like to watch them run around. If another kid is crying, like in a store, they seem worried and look at me like, "Mom, aren't you going to help that kid?"

Playing with trucks. We got them some toy trucks that they are totally obsessed with. They make a "vrroom" noise and walk/crawl up and down the hallway over and over. Lately they've started picking up other little toys to carry in the truck's bucket. The other day, I took the boys to this dinner event at church and brought their trucks along. They had a BLAST roaming all over the wide open space of the fellowship hall + foyer. DF also had a blast, I'm sure, chasing them around so I could eat :)

If this trend continues, I see many more fun weekends in our future! Up till now, we've basically been asking ourselves, "What can the boys tolerate?" But maybe soon the question will be, "What would they like to do?"