A Day in the Life, Year 6

 It's time for my annual tradition - make a list of everything I did on the first Friday of the new year (that's not Jan. 1).

Cast of characters

DF = Das Fenster, my husband

Gus & Gibson = our twin offspring, age 5

Location: Pasadena, CA

Date: January 8, 2021

7:00a Gus & Gibson come into our room and crawl in bed. They ask if it's a school day (sí, es viernes). We all snuggle under the covers until they start fighting bc Gus wants to pretend his grandpa died before he was born and Gibson does not approve.

7:20a get up. Make coffee, unload dishwasher.

7:30a DF gets up. He works from home now due to the pandemic, and he still has Fridays off. He tells me about a dream he had in which I died…

7:40a make breakfast.

7:45a kids turn their Kindles off, after being reminded repeatedly. Eat breakfast. 

7:55a sign on to school. Find out we have a substitute teacher today. Oh, this should be interesting.

8:05a the sub just told us she doesn't really know Spanish. (We're in a dual language kindergarten where 90% of instruction is in Spanish.) Gus says he doesn't need to go to school if it's in English. Gibson is laughing at her attempts at Spanish pronunciation

8:30a we made it to break time (descanso!) At least this sub knows how to use most of the remote learning technology. The last time we had a substitute, she really struggled with that aspect. During the break, the boys and DF play with race cars while I drink coffee and do a sudoku puzzle.

8:40a back to school. Math class actually goes fine. For reading, we listen to a cute book about a zombie who likes to eat vegetables.

9:25a long break. I wash my face and put in contacts. Gibson comes into the bathroom to ask for help with a Lego creation, then drops bricks under a shelf and I have to retrieve them from the dust. I get dressed in my daytime pajamas. We're on what feels like day 7 billion of staying home due to covid-19. LA county is experiencing rapid virus spread right now. Our family is not leaving the house for at least another 4 days. We're quarantining since we traveled out of state for the holidays.

9:45a kids are pretending something about Pokemon. I help Gibson assemble a giant egg with his stuffed turtle inside.

9:55a start their online homework. We read a book about animals that are orange. 

10:05a Gus has lost his focus. Back to legos. Gibson plays the reading game a bit more then joins in the Legos. They eat a snack. I return to sudoku.

10:32a Gus realizes he didn't do much work during the break and starts freaking out.

10:35a school starts again. Time for phonics. It's a semi disaster at first since the teacher doesn't know Spanish. Then the students start helping her.

10:55a Gus melts down over writing words. I carry him to his room to take a break. 

11:05a actual break time. I eat a snack while boys play/fight. I take full advantage of DF being off on Fridays!

11:15a last session of school. We watch a video about reptiles that is pretty cool. Then they draw a picture of a reptile. Gibson takes this opportunity to draw a tiny snake. Gus teaches me a new one, a lizard from Australia called the thorny devil. He says he learned about it from Wild Kratts. The day ends with PE (dance videos). I have to break up one freezing ice/fire eagle fight.

12:00p school is done. Kids fill their footie PJs with plastic balls and crack themselves up. 

12:10p Gus is supposed to have a small group with the teacher's aide. I forcibly remove several toys from his PJs. The teacher arrives and he practices reading. He then refuses to write letters (anyone notice a theme here??) and the lesson ends in tears. 

12:40p I point out a pile of ignored toys and propose getting rid of them, which makes the kids immediately start playing with them. Gus is rejecting all the lunch options I offer while also begging for candy.

12:47p I nearly get stabbed in the eye with a paper periscope. Leave the playroom to eat lunch.

1:10p I pick peanuts out of a container of mixed nuts - with skin for Gus, no skin for Gibson. I believe this is lunch. They get a piece of candy afterwards. 

1:25p finally start doing school work. 

2:10p done with school work. It was a struggle but we finished all assignments. Gibson complained a lot about how long our last name is (6 letters) because one assignment was to write your first and last name five times. 

2:15p the guys turn on the Wii to play Lego Batman. I catch up on the news.

2:45p the news is too much. COVID, attempted coup, racism, general political upheaval… I sneak into the kitchen and eat some coconut ice cream while the kids are distracted by video games. Make a cup of tea. Then I check social media, but just a bit so I don't get sucked in. Play a game on my Kindle.

3:55p forced outside time. Come on people, we have a nice yard and it's 71 degrees. 

Kids ride scooters and bikes in the alley. I pick some grapefruit. Gibson starts whining that his legs are tired after maybe 20 minutes. We're all becoming total couch potatoes.

Back inside, we make grapefruit juice. The boys are helping until they both stick their hands into the sugar container seconds after I tell them not to. They are then shocked, SHOCKED, that I say they are done helping and have to leave the kitchen.

5:00p I ponder what leftovers options we can rustle up for dinner. After getting the kids to eat something resembling a meal, we decide it's movie night.

5:40p pop some popcorn and watch Fantasia 2000 on Disney+. I enjoy a Rip City Lager from Deschutes Brewery, a Christmas present from my brother. We give the movie 4 thumbs up.

7:00p time to build a fort in the den. This has been happening every night for the last week. 

7:10p they stopped at making a pile of cushions. Now they are dropping reusable ice packs down their footie PJs because they got too hot with all the jumping around.

7:20p oh good lord, they are filling their PJs with balls again. Is it bedtime yet????

7:30p story time. We're currently reading Little House on the Prairie. Gotta be honest, I'm editing a lot on the fly to skip the most egregiously racist parts. Not sure we'll continue the series after this (book #2). I loved them as a kid but I'm reading with new eyes now. Like, I didn't understand what it meant that the Ingalls family "settled in Indian country." Whoa, that's some hard core white supremacy there. "We don't consider these 'savages' to be real people, so if we feel like rolling our wagon on in and building a house in the middle of their territory, that should be fine…"

8:00p get the kids ready for bed. 

8:30p DF tells the "Goldilocks" bedtime story. The kids always want a role in the story. Tonight, Gibson is a ninja garbage can. Gus is a baby bear, younger than Baby Bear, and Goldilocks is his mother.

Then it's my turn to sing songs. As usual, Gus requests "Rockabye baby". Gibson's new favorite is "What a Wonderful World."

8:45p official good night. I sit on the couch outside their door and listen to their conversation which, not surprisingly, revolves around poop, pee, and toilets. They quiet down after a few minutes.

9:00p read a chapter in the book Inspired by Rachel Held Evans. It's for a church small group meeting that we'll have on Zoom tomorrow.

9:30p played a few phone/Kindle games then posted this to my blog. I'll head to bed around 10:15pm.

Thanks for reading along!

A Day in the Life, Year 5

Everything I did on Friday, January 3, 2020
Location: Pasadena, CA

6:30am Gibson crawls in our bed and wakes me up

6:50am I get out of bed to cough and blow my nose for awhile. I've been battling a cold/laryngitis/possible bronchitis for a week. It's getting old.

7:00am Make a cup of tea. It does not taste like vinegar, thankfully. My electric kettle had a bunch of mineral deposits on it yesterday so I tried a vinegar soak. Now it's nice and clean. I find a package of Hawaiian hot dog buns in the cupboard that need to be used up so I toast two and add PB&J for breakfast.

7:15am Gibson comes into the kitchen pretending to be Gus because he wants the jelly bean Gus is owed from last night (our current bribe for using the bathroom by oneself). I feed them some generic Lucky Charms. They mainly eat the marshmallows.

7:30am the boys go back to bed to jump on Daddy. DF switched to a new job this year where the vacation time schedule is very flexible, and he was able to take two full weeks off for the holidays. We've definitely enjoyed having him home! I text our relatives in San Diego that we won't make it down to visit this weekend, since I'm still sick. We'll have to celebrate our belated Christmas even more belatedly, I guess.

7:50am Remember that it's the first Friday of the year and I need to start writing this list. DF and boys get up and play blocks in the playroom (Whomp Kings, a game they made up). I hang out with them for awhile.

8:15am Unload the dishwasher. It has been leaking lately. I clean out the "gunk" trap over the drain, which is super gross. Hopefully that will help. Wash dishes still hanging out in the sink from last year (ha ha). We had company for a week over New Years and we're still recovering. DF and kids are playing Lego Star Wars on Wii now. I take a long hot shower and inhale as much steam as I can before my California guilt kicks in about wasting water. I decide to be brave and wear contact lenses today. We had pink eye making the rounds here so I was wary of sticking my fingers in my eyes, but the kids seem to have recovered fully. Try to install the new phone screen protector I got for Christmas. Drat, it's the wrong size.

9:15am Gibson requests a cookie. More tea for me. Clean off the pile of stuff that has accumulated on the top of our dryer, the family temporary storage area. Send a Christmas card that got returned for an old address. Read the news about impending war with Iran. Try not to despair about the state of the world.

10:00am Time for more Mucinex. Watch the Wii game. Gibson is whining sooo much about the game my ears are about to explode. DF turns it off and takes a shower. The kids and I play "what animal am I thinking of?" and other pretending games.

11:00am I eat black eyed peas and greens for lunch. More good luck coming my way! The boys are playing Legos. They eat some beef jerky, apple slices, and corn muffins. Gus blows muffin crumbs all over the place. He informs me his New Year's resolution is to make more messes. <eyeroll> We have a discussion about death, the afterlife, and options for disposal of bodies. This is a fairly common topic of conversation.

11:30am DF takes the boys to a thrift store to look at toys because they want to spend their Christmas money. While they are out, I run the robot vacuum and do some laundry. I get deeply involved in making a "decade in review" post on Instagram, scouring my photo archives for images to represent the spectrum of my life for the last 10 years. I also reply to some messages that come in from a volunteer organization I work with. We are making plans for our 2020 fundraiser. Just as the boys come back, I field a call related to the fundraiser and croak out some words on the phone for 10 minutes. Doing so makes me feel like a productive member of society.

1:15pm Shoppers return home. They are loaded down with swords, light sabers, smash balls, Legos, and other things I don't recognize.

1:30pm Snack time - granola and frozen blueberries. We all play with the new toys. I trim my fingernails and convince the boys to sit on the front stoop so I can trim theirs, too. DF assembles 26 smash balls.

2:40pm all smash balls have been destroyed. They contain little rubber sports-themed figures. I drink more tea and do more laundry. The kids picked up some banks at the store and want to transfer all their coins from their previous banks to the new ones. We practice some Spanish - hola, adios, te amo - because we're planning to send the boys to a dual language Spanish program for elementary school. I send the robot vacuum to the back of the house.

3:40pm cracker snack. Watch Sponge Bob Square Pants. I install a new game on my phone because I recently got a new phone and am going crazy enjoying all the memory space, lol.

4:25pm load and run dishwasher. Fold laundry. The kids are watching Super Wings.

4:45pm turn off the TV. Attempt to get the kids out the door to a restaurant for dinner. They attack me with light sabers.

5:05pm They are finally dressed. (They had been wearing PJs all day. I let them wear PJs nearly whenever they want because soon enough they'll have to get dressed in a uniform for school every day. If they whine about it, I plan to say, "Remember when you were little and you used to wear your pajamas all day every day? That was nice, huh? Now you are big kids who go to school, so you need to wear your uniform.") We finally leave at 5:15. Stop by the UPS store to return my phone screen protector to Amazon. I don't even have to put it in a box. Whoa, such service. We eat dinner at our favorite diner that has a special with 3 hamburgers, 3 fries, and 3 drinks for $11.99. The boys share a burger (and don't even finish it) and I drink water, so it's a great deal for our family! On the way home, we try to pick up an item from our local Buy Nothing group but the family wasn't home.

6:40pm We're home. I unload the dishwasher, which did not leak on the floor. Yay! The kids are excited to see their toys again.

6:50pm Take anti-anxiety medicine, my current best friend. Drink more tea. Motivate the kids to clean up the playroom by rebuilding one smash ball for each small amount of cleaning effort.

7:45pm Snack time. Gibson requests peanut butter on a spoon. Gus ignores my repeated warnings of bedtime approaching.

8:00pm Time to get ready for bed. Gus, predictably, objects that he didn't get a snack. He scarfs down a few pretzels while Gibson brushes his teeth.

8:15pm DF tells them a bedtime story. It's still called a "Goldilocks" story and bears little resemblance to the traditional narrative. Usually, I do it but we've reached the point in the evening where my voice has faded and the coughing intensifies. I go to make a cup of (disgusting, licorice) Throat Coat tea. While I'm waiting for the water to boil, I read the ingredients and notice it has cinnamon bark. Whoops, I'm allergic to cinnamon! I'm off the hook and choose Sleepytime Vanilla instead. Write some Amazon product reviews while sipping tea.

8:35pm Children are loudly singing the rainbow song from their beds. I go in and tell them it's time to quiet down. After one last hug and drink of water, they go to sleep. DF and I watch a few episodes of Undone, a new Amazon show that is really trippy.

9:45pm I take Mucinex and vitamins and head to bed, propped up on 4 pillows.

Thanks for reading! You can check out previous days in the life here:
2019, 2018, 2017, 2016 <-- the most exhausting one

4 Years

Happy 4th birthday to Gus and Gibson! Here is what they are up to these days.

Creative play

• They love to play creatively together. They try to include the whole family when both parents are available. Many evenings have passed with them hopping back and forth on the couch as they pretend to be various Mario Bros. characters. DF and I are assigned to be Bowsers, or sometimes good guys. 
• Everything can transform, when they are imagining. They can go from magic carrot to butterfly to zapping robot in the span of thirty seconds. It's hard to keep up :)
• At night, they want me to make up a bedtime story for them. They tell me what should be in the story. Last night, Gus was a treasure chest and Gibson was a baby bunny who lost his family. 
• We went camping last month - stayed in a cabin. Although they had been running around playing outside all day, they seemed almost compelled into creating a pretend scenario before bedtime that involved crawling through a blanket on their dad's lap.

Physical development

• Both are expert balance bike riders. Gibson always wants to go in front down hills and is a bit of a daredevil. Gus usually lets his brother go first, though he also has a need for speed.]
• DF and the boys like to race their scooters in the alley behind our house
• They love to climb higher than my nerves enjoy - playground equipment, trees, etc

Academics

• After one semester of preschool, we decided to pull them out of school at the end of last year. It was just too much for all of us.
• We attend a local tuition-free Parent Education program, which has been awesome. It's like a preschool where the parents and kids stay together for part of the time.
• They know their letters and can count to 20, with minor confusion in the teens
• We're big into science experiments these days (slime, de-oxidizing pennies, soaking raisins, nature exploration, oobleck)
• Their video game education has begun. They're knowledgeable about all the Super Mario Galaxy characters/planets/lumas. They can sort of drive in Burnout (Gamecube). They like slicing stuff and bad guys on Wii Sports Resort in the swordplay levels. 

Social

• For the most part, they like going to Sunday School at church and have made friends there
• They think "big kids" are cool, like to follow them around, and try to do whatever they are doing (anyone older than say 6). They even joined in a water balloon fight recently without a melt down!
• They generally find babies annoying. We are doing our best to help them form a good relationship with their 18 month old cousin. Gibson was proud of himself during her most recent visit because "I only kicked her one time today!"
• Gus is more of the rule follower and enforcer. He likes to be helpful. 
• Gibson is more mischievous and will see what he can get away with. He loves to laugh.
• They fight with each other a lot and also play together fairly well
• Both boys are super attached to me, sometimes to the point of clinginess. I'm hoping they grow out of it before kindergarten...

Language

• They talk A LOT! I am biased but feel their vocabulary is extensive for their age. People can usually understand their speech. They don't have any "twin language" that I'm aware of.
• Gibson likes to tell us bedtime stories. They even have some plot to them!
• They are getting better with pronouns. Still confusion on male-female and also he/him she/her.
• Their past tense verbs are creative. Made-ed, eat-ed, put-ed
• Pronunciation seems pretty age-appropriate. They still have lots of cute things they say, like "gwish" instead of "squish." Hey, stop gwishing me!  Neither of them say r correctly all the time. Gus's sounds like /w/ while Gibson says /y/. That confuses me sometimes (run could be wun or yun).
• They use multi-syllable words with no problem, like camouflage, elephant, and Saturday. But then they drop the first syllable of other words, like (con)troller, (ma)chine, (with)out, (dis)penser. Actually that last one is pronounced fencer, as in Gus, you be a candy fencer and I will be an ice cream 'chine.

People told me raising twins would get easier, and you know what? They were right. The first 1.5 years are kind of a blur. I'm glad I took photos/videos and recorded my thoughts on this blog. But really, now I feel like I just have two kids who happen to be the same age, and in a lot of ways, that's great!

A Day in the Life, Year 4

Once again, it's my annual post where I record everything I do during in one day.Yesterday was just a regular day over here, so please enjoy my detailed notes!

(Previous years available here: 2018, 2017, 2016)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Date: January 11, 2019
Gus and Gibson are three and a half

6:40am Das Fenster's alarm wakes me up, but I try to go back to sleep

7:05am DF leaves for work. The kids are still asleep. We had a late night last night at choir practice. I think about how I should get up and do things, but it's so cold and my bed is so warm. Around 7:15, I grab my phone and lay in bed looking at Facebook and Instagram.

7:45am Gibson comes to climb in my bed. He says he had a dream about pink balloons. He pretends to be a hug machine but turns into a zapper. 5-10 minutes later, Gus wakes up and joins us. A brief turf battle ensues, as usual. They settle in on each side of me. Gus says he had a dream about me driving a monster truck. Gibson says he was riding on top of my truck and he was a transforming robot. Then they pretend to be Mario and a mole, or a bunny, who was stuck in a hole by a witch and ninjalinos (from PJ Masks).

8:10am Roll out of bed. Potty stop, then they ask to play Kindles. I tell them they aren't charged, so the kids play trains instead. When I find the Kindles and plug them in, they are actually at 70% battery. I don't mention this fact... They sing to themselves as they play, which is a regular occurrence. They play a version of Blokus called "puzzle game" - we made it up yesterday.

8:30am I make coffee and am gone from playroom for 3 minutes before Blokus fight breaks out. Then we have a poop situation to deal with.

8:45am I quickly change out of my pajamas because a person is supposed to come by btwn 9-10 to give us a quote for pruning our grapefruit tree.

8:55am Boys eat pancakes while watching Super Why. I have instituted a 2 hour daily limit for TV/Kindle time. We have a 1 hour sand timer on the entertainment center that I use to track how much they've watched.

9:00am Realize I have no bread or bagels in the house and barely any soy milk. I make instant oatmeal for breakfast. Must go to store today! It's an adjustment not having the kids in preschool anymore. They stopped going at the end of 2018, so I was used to having two mornings a week free for errands and etc.

9:20am Boys are still asking for Kindles. I explain that the TV timer will keep running and it's all part of the 2 hour limit. They say ok.

9:45am The "Boo" characters on their Kindle game need a nap, so we turn off screens. Gus wants coffee (mostly milk, splash of coffee). Still waiting for tree person to arrive. We read a library book about Star Wars featuring Legos.

9:55am Now they want to play Legos.

10:00am Tree lady says the grapefruit tree is in pretty good shape overall and should be pruned every 4 years or so to remove dead and crossed branches. She also mentions that if we give the grass in the back yard a good rake and fertilize in March, we'll have a nice lawn for the summer.

10:17am The boys are happily playing with Legos. I tell them I'm going to take the fastest shower ever and will be right back.

10:21am I get out of the shower and hear a total scream fest going on.

10:40am We've sort of recovered from the big feelings. They're rolling around on the floor under blankets. I am not able to figure out exactly what happened, but I do gather there was a slobber-related problem.

10:45am Almond snack

10:50am Start getting ready to go to Aldi (grocery store)

11:02am Out the door, thanks to a cookie bribe

11:50am Home with only a few extra items that weren't on the list. How can we resist chocolate coins for only 99 cents?

12:03pm Kids are watching Blippi and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They wash their hands with only minimal drama when I had them get the step stool out by themselves. They are really into being independent lately, especially Gus. I make my own lunch by dumping all the leftovers in a bowl with salsa and avocado. Drinking lime seltzer, my latest obsession.

12:23pm I discover half a cup of cold coffee from this morning. Mix it with vanilla soy milk. Yum! Start a load of laundry. Take out trash. Put away rest of groceries. Tidy up and sweep entry way. Unload dishwasher.

12:42pm Gibson hops into kitchen pretending to be a frog. I tell them they've watched enough TV for now. We play block tanks. (Build tanks out of blocks, say boom boom boom a lot)

1:25pm Transfer laundry to dryer. Read the kids a story. Play Blokus and Taboo. (You play Taboo with three year olds by using all the "taboo" words to explain the clue, FYI.)

1:50pm Yogurt snack. We got a 32oz tub of vanilla Greek yogurt at Aldi for $0.25 because it was only 2 days from its sell-by date. Score! I explain how yogurt is made, per their request. Gus says I can only eat vegan cheese yogurt. (They're a little confused about dairy-free)

2:05pm Snack done. Whoa, they barely made a mess with the yogurt! That's a first! Now play cat/dinosaur/transforming car/tackling.

2:12pm Gus asks me to take off his socks, which he is only capable of doing when I don't want his socks being removed. I eat a vegan ranch crunchy pea snack I found at Grocery Outlet.

2:20pm Text Auntie Hipster about making slime when she's babysitting for some friends tomorrow. This inspires me to order a gallon of glue off Amazon for only $12 so we can make more slime here. Gus tells me he want to grow up and get really tiny so he can go into electrical outlets and get zapped.

2:30pm Explain to kids that I need to go to CVS to get contact solution. Tell them we are only getting contacts solution. We are not getting toys or candy. Ask them if they understand, and if they still want to go to CVS. Gibson asks if he can pet the toys. I say yes. They agree we should all go, and they'll ride their balance bikes. It's about 2 blocks away.

2:55pm Finally leave CVS after resisting a lot of begging and pleading for toys and candy. While we are there, we see a friend we know from a local moms group.

3:00pm Arrive at park. It's just a block away. We love our bikeable neighborhood! I've had to learn to talk to Gus and Gibson before we embark about whose turn it is to ride in front because apparently that is a very big deal! They generally do ok as long as we talk about it first. Otherwise it's a crashing, brawling free-for-all for the lead.

At the park, they ride their bikes a lot, go on swings, open a pretend restaurant where they get cooked into a pie by Mr. McGregor, and generally run around. They chase some kids who are using these electronic rolling skateboards until one of the riders informs me, "if they crash into me, this thing will catch on fire!" While I doubt the accuracy of her combustibility gauge, I tell my boys to back off anyway. Some friends from church happen to be at the park too, and all our kids have fun together. I also see another mom I know from another parent class. I feel so connected! At one point, Gibson says, "I want to pee on you," which means he needs to use the bathroom. Really trying to get him to stop saying that...

4:40pm Get home. Give the kids a cantaloupe snack.

5:00pm Use up the last of their allotted TV time to watch Fireman Sam while I make dinner. We're having spaghetti.

5:26pm DF gets home. Gus screams for awhile. Transitions are rough for him.

5:40pm Dinner time. They both ask me to feed them, but Gibson takes over and feeds himself eventually.

6:00pm Dinner is done. DF plays with the kids while I clean up the kitchen. They play Wii. So far I have kept video games separate from the TV timer because it's more of a bonding/fun thing they do with their dad. If I start worrying about their brain development, maybe I'll dial it back.

6:25pm Kitchen is mostly clean. I even wash my cast iron skillet - usually procrastinate on that task. Take Lexapro (anti-anxiety/anti-depressant). I've been on it for a month and I feel like it's helping me handle life better. I research grant opportunities for an early childhood education program that we attend, because I've now been recruited to be on their board.

6:50pm Start bath time. Neither kid wants to take the first bath, so their squirt toys go first. Gus and Gibson both choose second bath. They eventually get in the tub after protesting about the water temperature (too hot for one, too cold for the other). It is the longest bath ever because they both need a poop break in the middle. Hey, I'm glad they tell me so I can get them on the potty. But then they want privacy but I don't want to leave the other kid alone, so I pull the shower curtain around the outside of the tub and stand behind it, looking at the tub rather than the toilet. Oh, motherhood...

7:50pm Give them bedtime snacks and drinks. They're playing pretend with DF. They are baby moles. Then it becomes Mario, Bowser, and a poison swamp. I join in as Mommy Bowser.

8:15pm Start heading towards bed. Bedtime routine involves pajamas, brush teeth, story, song, hug & kiss, one last drink of water, and a Goldilocks story told by mom when they are tucked in bed. I let them each pick one element of the story. Gus usually says Goldilocks drives a wolf house that transforms into something. Tonight it is a bumper car with guns. Gibson says there should be lots of cupcakes and the bears drive a boomer cannon. So I tell a story about how the bears shoot cupcakes out of their cannons and Goldilocks shoots frosting out of her squirt guns and they make a huge tower of cupcakes as tall as a giant.

8:49pm Bedroom door closed. Goodnight #1

8:50pm "Mommy, my head is too hot." "My legs are too cold." "I'm scared of shadows."

8:52pm "Mommy, my head too hot again!" (I flip his pillow over)

8:53pm Gibson runs out to tell me, "I love you so much," then tells me I look like a cat with so much fur when I put him back in bed (because I've taken down my pony tail). Gus wants his pillow flipped again. I try for the 100th time to show him how to do it by himself.

8:56pm Gus needs to go potty. Meanwhile, I've been trying to get my phone to retrieve texts and wind up restarting it. My phone is kind of sad. We need to find out if another carrier has better service in our neighborhood and maybe switch + phone upgrade.

9:00pm I take a chance and get some coconut ice cream out of the freezer.

9:02pm D'oh! Hide the ice cream! Gibson emerges asking to be re-tucked in. That kid can't stay in one spot in his bed, awake or asleep. I tell him to close his eyes and think about something happy to help him sleep. He's going to think about Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, and "different characters."

9:05pm Gus calls me in to ask questions about Paw Patrol. I review the bedtime checklist with them. I emphasize that we did everything on this list, so now it's their job to close their eyes, be quiet, and think about sleepy things. "I'm not coming in here anymore," I declare. I sit on the couch right outside their room and scroll Facebook/Instagram.

9:15pm I haven't heard any more peeps out of them! DF and I watch an episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I read a few chapters of In the Distance by Hernán Díaz, which is the 2019 One City, One Story selection for Pasadena Public Library.

10:30pm Take my vitamin and get ready for bed. Move laundry aside. I'll fold it tomorrow...maybe. Make sure boys are covered up and find Gus "Mr. My head too hot" with a blanket under his head! Play a fish game and a word game for a bit on my Kindle before calling it a night.

And that's another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom with twins!

All They Want for Christmas

I asked my kids to make a Christmas list, because some relatives requested one in preparation for Black Friday shopping. It's pretty entertaining...I did my best to transcribe with only minor notes for clarity. Whoever is shopping for them is going to have to dig deep on Amazon!

• Big candy wolf that eats candy wrappers
• Big blue Jeep (power wheels) that I can turn on by myself with that yellow thing (no yellow thing for Gus)
• Legos - pumpkin ones, says Gibson. (Not Duplos. We're going straight to Legos.)
• Toys for the bathtub with a hole in it to slurp up water and squirt it out
• Hot wheels cars, tracks, garages
• Wooden trains for train table (Gus wants glass trains…)
• Doggies, especially scary Halloween dog that jumps out at you
• Pajamas: Santa with a fuzzy beard, witch, or vampire bat theme
• Vampire bat craft supplies
• Playdoh cupcake machiner with pink dough that squirts out with strawberry and cherry wrappers
• Scooters, the 3 wheel kind. (Technically Gus wants a skateboard but I'm vetoing that request)
• Magical Santa sleigh that flies in the sky with a water dragon for Gibson and a fire dragon for Gus and toys and presents
• Clothes: They got upset when I suggested they ask for clothes for Christmas and said “No! Only toys!” 
• Favorite colors as of 11/7 
• Gibson: pink, green, rainbow 
• Gus: orange, green, white, pink, black (I am not sure he actually likes white)
• Both like camouflage

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

That Twin Life

The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.

Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.

As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!

It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.

Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.

There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.

For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?

Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!