- Big candy wolf that eats candy wrappers
- Big blue Jeep (power wheels) that I can turn on by myself with that yellow thing (no yellow thing for Gus)
- Legos - pumpkin ones, says Gibson. (Not Duplos. We're going straight to Legos.)
- Toys for the bathtub with a hole in it to slurp up water and squirt it out
- Hot wheels cars, tracks, garages
- Wooden trains for train table (Gus wants glass trains…)
- Doggies, especially scary Halloween dog that jumps out at you
- Pajamas: Santa with a fuzzy beard, witch, or vampire bat theme
- Vampire bat craft supplies
- Playdoh cupcake machiner with pink dough that squirts out with strawberry and cherry wrappers
- Scooters, the 3 wheel kind. (Technically Gus wants a skateboard but I'm vetoing that request)
- Magical Santa sleigh that flies in the sky with a water dragon for Gibson and a fire dragon for Gus and toys and presents
- Clothes: They got upset when I suggested they ask for clothes for Christmas and said “No! Only toys!”
- Favorite colors as of 11/7
- Gibson: pink, green, rainbow
- Gus: orange, green, white, pink, black (I am not sure he actually likes white)
- Both like camouflage
Wednesday, November 14, 2018
All They Want for Christmas
I asked my kids to make a Christmas list, because some relatives requested one in preparation for Black Friday shopping. It's pretty entertaining...I did my best to transcribe with only minor notes for clarity. Whoever is shopping for them is going to have to dig deep on Amazon!
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Carrying Your Own Backpack
I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.
Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.
Things were getting out of hand.
In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??
I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"
What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.
I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?
I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.
Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger
Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.
Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)
Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.
The lightbulb moment!
"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.
Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.
(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)
After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.
As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."
Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.
Things were getting out of hand.
In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??
I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"
What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.
I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?
I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.
Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger
Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.
- Go to your cubby
- Pick up your backpack and other things
- Walk out the door
Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)
Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.
The lightbulb moment!
"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.
Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.
(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)
After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.
As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."
Thursday, October 11, 2018
That Twin Life
The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.
Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.
As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!
It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.
Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.
There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.
For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?
Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!
Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.
As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!
It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.
Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.
There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.
For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?
Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!
Thursday, September 27, 2018
Settling In to the Nest
We've been in our new house about 6 weeks now, and it's starting to feel like home. We've got most of the boxes unpacked and new furniture to make the rooms functional. Sure, there's still a few random piles of "what do we do with this?" stuff strewn about, but I feel it's an acceptable level of clutter :)
Here are some of my favorite things about living in our house so far, in no particular order:
Life is good in Pasadena! Stop by and see us if you're in the area. Or heck, plan a trip to the area and stay in our play room/guest room! I promise to pick up all the Legos before you get here :)
Here are some of my favorite things about living in our house so far, in no particular order:
- Ease of laundry. At the apartment, our dryer vented out into a hallway. (Lame!) So that meant I had to plan my drying cycles for a time of day when I could leave the balcony door open to let out the hot air. But on scorching days I would wind up running the A/C to counteract the dryer, which seemed like a pointless waste of money. It was extra ridiculous that the dryer was near the A/C thermostat so it would cause it to kick on quickly. In the house, however, we have a normal dryer that vents outside. It's by the backdoor so even if it does heat up a little, it's not roasting the whole house.
- Back yard. I knew we'd all enjoy having a yard! The boys have managed to play unsupervised for about 5 minutes without major incident Yes, one of them did dunk the other's hair in the water table, but only because "me need wash his dirty hair." Oh, I see...how helpful of you...
- Close to park. Yes, our apartment was also close to a park, but by the time you walked all the way to the elevator, went down to the ground floor, crossed the train tracks, crossed the street, and made it over to the playground...well, it was a bit of a production. Now, since the boys are older, we got them balance bikes. It's about a 3 minute walk to the park here! We are struggling with the return trip still. Usually at least one of them has a meltdown and refuses to ride home. But I have hope that things will improve (keep trying, you'll get better).
- Separate play room. Being able to toss all the kids' toys in a room and close the door is awesome! And not having toys in their bedroom seems to be more conducive to sleeping.
- Dining room table. This hasn't been quite as amazing as I hoped, but it's certainly better than high chairs crammed in the kitchen. Gus is currently refusing to sit in a chair by himself (he wants to sit on someone's lap for meals), which is driving me up the wall. I try to tell myself that he won't always want to sit on my lap. When he's 20 and off living by himself, I'll surely sit at my lonely table and fondly remember the days when I had a squirmy preschooler knocking roasted sweet potatoes off my plate.
- Friendly neighbors. After a year of anonymous apartment life, it's a little weird to be in a neighborhood again. So far everyone has been welcoming and friendly. (Not Southern friendly, though. No one brought us any chicken and dumplings yet. That literally happened in Memphis!) But one neighbor did mow our lawn for us when it was turning into a jungle and we hadn't got a lawn mower yet, and another brought us some cookies and gave this kids a wading pool. It was strange, though, to hear one neighbor speak fondly about the former occupants of our house since we only know them as the persnickety sellers who refused to give us any repair credits or concessions...
- New amenities. We're just a few minutes from Aldi, a grocery store I grew to love in Memphis. We also have a Food4Less nearby which is a Kroger brand store, so they have all the regular Kroger products at lower prices. Also we are by a gas station that accepts credit cards for the same per/gal cost as Arco where you have to pay cash. The kids are excited that there's a McDonald's with a PlayPlace just a few blocks away.
- Windows that open. This house has tons of windows, and we love it! We can get a nice breeze in the mornings and evenings that means we don't have to use our air conditioner as much. Plus it's just nice to be able to see what's going on out in the world. I especially enjoy this view of palm trees from the kitchen window.
Life is good in Pasadena! Stop by and see us if you're in the area. Or heck, plan a trip to the area and stay in our play room/guest room! I promise to pick up all the Legos before you get here :)
Friday, August 3, 2018
Pause, Reflect, Move
I like to take some time to reflect on one place before I leave it. We're gearing up to move into our new house in just about two weeks, so the time is ripe!
Apartment living in Pasadena: Pros
Apartment living: Cons
Apartment living in Pasadena: Pros
- On-site professional maintenance team that fixes all my problems. From a dripping sink to a malfunctioning A/C unit, help was just an email away. I didn't have to search for the appropriate service tech online, read reviews, get estimates, or pay any bills. It has been awesome and I know I'm going to miss this feature as a homeowner.
- Location - in the heart of it all. We are within walking distance of more amenities here than we ever could take advantage of. If our kids were more, hmm, refined in their dining choices, we would have really enjoyed all these restaurants. As it is, we definitely visited all the ones that serve pizza and/or French fries :) It's also been nice to be so centrally located for public transportation, both for DF's commute and for general traveling needs.
- Balcony. Although it's kind of annoying to hear the train crossing dining at all hours of the day and night, the kids have LOVED their front-row view of the train tracks. Also, it's relatively bug-free. We never get mosquito bites here. An occasional fly sneaks in the apartment, but that's about it.
Apartment living: Cons
- Fire alarms. Oh my word, the fire alarms. For awhile we had a faulty sensor in our building and the alarm was going off at least once a day. Not cool, people.
- Trains. Sometimes the crossing malfunctions and dings for three hours straight. Again, not cool.
- The mile-long walk from the garage to apartment door. Ok, it's not a mile but it sure feels like it sometimes, like today when the boys fell asleep in the van and then wanted me to carry them home. I am pumped to have a garage that's right in the backyard in our new place. Maybe 30 feet, door to door. I can totally handle that. And if the kids are asleep, it would be fine to leave one of them snoozing in the vehicle while taking the other one inside.
Our new house is just about 2 miles away from our current apartment, so we'll still be able to take advantage of everything Pasadena has to offer. Short moves are the best!
Monday, July 16, 2018
Moving Will Solve All My Problems
With our home purchase set to close later this week (God willing/si Dios quiere/inshallah), I'm feeling anxious, reflective, and hopeful. I've moved a lot in life. It tends to stir up a mixture of emotions/perspectives, but one that I've noticed most often is totally misplaced optimism about changes that will result.
Example: When we moved from Seattle to Memphis (in 2013) I was sure that I would break my addiction to Cheetos. Why? I thought that because I'd be working from home, I'd have time to make myself more healthy snacks. LOL! Sure, I had time, but I had no motivation. Actually, I stopped eating Cheetos and all milk products not long after arriving in California last year because my body just wouldn't let me eat dairy anymore. That wasn't my plan, but it's how life turned out.
And now in 2018, I've pretty much convinced myself that as soon as we move from an apartment to house here in Pasadena, our lives are going to completely change for the better. Here are some of my hopes and dreams.
Example: When we moved from Seattle to Memphis (in 2013) I was sure that I would break my addiction to Cheetos. Why? I thought that because I'd be working from home, I'd have time to make myself more healthy snacks. LOL! Sure, I had time, but I had no motivation. Actually, I stopped eating Cheetos and all milk products not long after arriving in California last year because my body just wouldn't let me eat dairy anymore. That wasn't my plan, but it's how life turned out.
And now in 2018, I've pretty much convinced myself that as soon as we move from an apartment to house here in Pasadena, our lives are going to completely change for the better. Here are some of my hopes and dreams.
- We are going to have a dining room table where my children will sit and eat their meals. We will all eat together as a family. I will have a weekly menu board and cook/meal plan tasty dinners that all 4 family members will like.
- Of course I will no longer be crouching on the floor next to the couch feeding the children bites of peanut butter bagel for breakfast while they watch Octonauts.
- I will create an amazingly functional organization system for the new playroom. Our home will no longer be strewn with toys in every corner of every room. My children will pick up their toys. (Confession: I cracked myself up by typing that last sentence!)
- My children will play in the backyard with minimal supervision giving me copious amounts of free time to implement all of my above plans. They will explore and get dirty but not seriously injure/maim themselves while doing so.
Realistic expectations? Probably not. But a girl can dream...
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
3 Years
Happy third birthday to Gus and Gibson! I've been looking forward to this day when they could play with all the "ages 3+" toys without choking on anything. Ha ha! Actually, they have stopped putting everything in their mouths, so I suppose that's a good sign.
Language
I am not really concerned about them having a speech delay anymore, because they chatter all the time. One issue is that they still use "me" as a subject pronoun, instead of "I." So far I'm just continuing to model correct grammar without making a point to correct them. I figure they'll catch on eventually. In the meantime, it makes for some adorable expressions.
Gibson, tearfully at the park when trying to describe a snack, "No me know me talking about!"
(Turns out, he wanted to eat bunny grahams)
They use the word "love" frequently
Me: Please don't bite your brother
Gibson: But me loooove bite Gus!
I hand Gus a sandwich on an orange plate.
Gus (frowning): Ahh! No me love orange things!
They haven't started asking "why?" yet, but they do ask a lot of questions. Lately, they want to know what everything eats, including animals, plants, the cast of Octonauts, and non-living things like rainbows. Their syntax is, "Mommy, giraffe-es eat?" (The plural of giraffe is 3 syllables)
Pronunciation of some sounds is hit or miss. My current favorite word is "zizzors" (aka scissors)
Physical Milestones
We gave them balance bikes today for their birthdays. They rode around at the park for quite awhile without any major incidents. "Rode" isn't the right word - it was just walking with the bike underneath them. But it actually went better than I thought, so I'm sure they'll be zooming around before long.
They can run fairly fast without tripping.
Potty training hasn't been successful yet. We have a September deadline or else they can't start preschool, so yeah, better get on that soon...
Fine Motor Skills
They make tiny little blobs out of Playdoh.
They're doing better holding crayons/markers, except they don't like to be constrained to decorating only paper.
They are starting to grasp the concept of water color painting.
Personalities
We continue to see unique personalities develop.
Gibson likes to be silly. He is usually resilient and adaptable.
Gus is the rule enforcer. He's got a tender heart.
They are both playful, enjoy music, and are a bit wary of new people.
Overall
They have become little kids. They like babies, but they definitely don't consider themselves babies. They are more interested in playing with other kids at parks and etc. With them starting preschool in the fall and our family hopefully moving to a new home, I expect we'll see all sorts of changes in the year ahead!
Language
I am not really concerned about them having a speech delay anymore, because they chatter all the time. One issue is that they still use "me" as a subject pronoun, instead of "I." So far I'm just continuing to model correct grammar without making a point to correct them. I figure they'll catch on eventually. In the meantime, it makes for some adorable expressions.
Gibson, tearfully at the park when trying to describe a snack, "No me know me talking about!"
(Turns out, he wanted to eat bunny grahams)
They use the word "love" frequently
Me: Please don't bite your brother
Gibson: But me loooove bite Gus!
I hand Gus a sandwich on an orange plate.
Gus (frowning): Ahh! No me love orange things!
They haven't started asking "why?" yet, but they do ask a lot of questions. Lately, they want to know what everything eats, including animals, plants, the cast of Octonauts, and non-living things like rainbows. Their syntax is, "Mommy, giraffe-es eat?" (The plural of giraffe is 3 syllables)
Pronunciation of some sounds is hit or miss. My current favorite word is "zizzors" (aka scissors)
Physical Milestones
We gave them balance bikes today for their birthdays. They rode around at the park for quite awhile without any major incidents. "Rode" isn't the right word - it was just walking with the bike underneath them. But it actually went better than I thought, so I'm sure they'll be zooming around before long.
They can run fairly fast without tripping.
Potty training hasn't been successful yet. We have a September deadline or else they can't start preschool, so yeah, better get on that soon...
Fine Motor Skills
They make tiny little blobs out of Playdoh.
They're doing better holding crayons/markers, except they don't like to be constrained to decorating only paper.
They are starting to grasp the concept of water color painting.
Personalities
We continue to see unique personalities develop.
Gibson likes to be silly. He is usually resilient and adaptable.
Gus is the rule enforcer. He's got a tender heart.
They are both playful, enjoy music, and are a bit wary of new people.
Overall
They have become little kids. They like babies, but they definitely don't consider themselves babies. They are more interested in playing with other kids at parks and etc. With them starting preschool in the fall and our family hopefully moving to a new home, I expect we'll see all sorts of changes in the year ahead!
Friday, June 1, 2018
Where to Be Rich in LA
House hunting brings out the demographer/sociologist in me. I haven't lived here long enough to have a total handle on what are the "good" and "bad" areas, but I'm starting to get some ideas.
(I apologize in advance for all the feathers I'm about to ruffle.)
Areas that are good tend to have:
Areas that are bad tend to have:
You know what I see as the main differences on these lists? Socioeconomic status and race. So if I ask myself, "Where should we live?" what I'm really wondering is, what kind of white people are we? Statistically speaking, our income puts us in the third quartile for Pasadena (between 50-75% of median). I feel awkward calling myself rich, but I think it might be true.
Then I see these lists like "Best Places to Raise a Family Around LA" which should be titled "Where Rich People Live." I mean seriously, #1 on the list is Manhattan Beach, where the average sales price of a three bedroom home is $1.8 million. So I guess my family is richer than we are poor, but we're not rich rich.
The point I'm trying to make here is that one can't just choose to be rich. In many cases, the deck is stacked against you from the start. And we can't keep using socioeconomic status as a proxy variable for everything in life. Which leads me to the following scatter plot:
(If that's not displaying properly on your device, or you'd like to see the supporting data, click here.)
What are we seeing in this chart?
A correlation between a school's rating on Great Schools and the percentage of its student body that is low income, which means qualifying for free or reduced-price lunch. (As an aside, that is really poor around here because there's no adjustment made to the calculations to factor in cost of living in your particular area within the lower 48 states.)
What are we not seeing?
A large portion of the not-low-income families in Pasadena that are not represented on this chart, because their children aren't enrolled in these schools.
Pasadena Unified School District has kind of a mixed reputation around here. In the 1970s, the district was ordered to bus students to end de-facto segregation, a bit of history I haven't found anyone too eager to talk about. As of 2016, only 55% of students living in PUSD boundaries attended public schools. The rest are in charter, private, home school, or transfer out of the district. At the same time, there are several schools with new magnet programs focused on STEM, Arts, and IB, and they also offer dual language options. I'm familiar with a group called Pasadena Education Network that seems to be doing good work towards promoting integrated schools. So overall, I'm observing some positive trajectory.
Where should I try to buy a house, then? (I mean, assuming we stay in Pasadena. We also have been looking around Glendale and Eagle Rock, which is a whole other ball of wax.) To complicate matters, PUSD offers open enrollment, meaning that if you don't want your student to attend your neighborhood school, you can go through a lottery system to obtain a seat for your child at a different school. So it doesn't even really matter, school-wise, where we buy because we can put the kids in a different school. We just have to give them a ride.
But you see that? How privileged am I that the need to provide transportation daily to/from a school a few miles away wouldn't even give me pause? We are a two parent family with only one of us working outside the home right now. We have the resources to pay for a vehicle, gas, and insurance. I'm not trying to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table here. And I have the mental bandwidth to think about all these things two years before my kids will even start kindergarten.
What a world we live in.
If you want to learn more about these topics, here are some resources I recommend:
(I apologize in advance for all the feathers I'm about to ruffle.)
Areas that are good tend to have:
- Rich people
- White people
- Maybe Asian people
- "Good" schools as defined by a score of 8+ on Great Schools
- Well-funded public services
- Crime that is not overt
Areas that are bad tend to have:
- Poor people
- Brown people
- Black people
- Asian people who aren't integrated into mainstream American culture
- "Bad" schools (scores 1-3)
- Poorly funded public services
- Visible crime, graffiti, gangs
- Noise and/or pollution
You know what I see as the main differences on these lists? Socioeconomic status and race. So if I ask myself, "Where should we live?" what I'm really wondering is, what kind of white people are we? Statistically speaking, our income puts us in the third quartile for Pasadena (between 50-75% of median). I feel awkward calling myself rich, but I think it might be true.
Then I see these lists like "Best Places to Raise a Family Around LA" which should be titled "Where Rich People Live." I mean seriously, #1 on the list is Manhattan Beach, where the average sales price of a three bedroom home is $1.8 million. So I guess my family is richer than we are poor, but we're not rich rich.
The point I'm trying to make here is that one can't just choose to be rich. In many cases, the deck is stacked against you from the start. And we can't keep using socioeconomic status as a proxy variable for everything in life. Which leads me to the following scatter plot:
(If that's not displaying properly on your device, or you'd like to see the supporting data, click here.)
What are we seeing in this chart?
A correlation between a school's rating on Great Schools and the percentage of its student body that is low income, which means qualifying for free or reduced-price lunch. (As an aside, that is really poor around here because there's no adjustment made to the calculations to factor in cost of living in your particular area within the lower 48 states.)
What are we not seeing?
A large portion of the not-low-income families in Pasadena that are not represented on this chart, because their children aren't enrolled in these schools.
Pasadena Unified School District has kind of a mixed reputation around here. In the 1970s, the district was ordered to bus students to end de-facto segregation, a bit of history I haven't found anyone too eager to talk about. As of 2016, only 55% of students living in PUSD boundaries attended public schools. The rest are in charter, private, home school, or transfer out of the district. At the same time, there are several schools with new magnet programs focused on STEM, Arts, and IB, and they also offer dual language options. I'm familiar with a group called Pasadena Education Network that seems to be doing good work towards promoting integrated schools. So overall, I'm observing some positive trajectory.
Where should I try to buy a house, then? (I mean, assuming we stay in Pasadena. We also have been looking around Glendale and Eagle Rock, which is a whole other ball of wax.) To complicate matters, PUSD offers open enrollment, meaning that if you don't want your student to attend your neighborhood school, you can go through a lottery system to obtain a seat for your child at a different school. So it doesn't even really matter, school-wise, where we buy because we can put the kids in a different school. We just have to give them a ride.
But you see that? How privileged am I that the need to provide transportation daily to/from a school a few miles away wouldn't even give me pause? We are a two parent family with only one of us working outside the home right now. We have the resources to pay for a vehicle, gas, and insurance. I'm not trying to work two minimum wage jobs just to keep food on the table here. And I have the mental bandwidth to think about all these things two years before my kids will even start kindergarten.
What a world we live in.
If you want to learn more about these topics, here are some resources I recommend:
- How America's Public Schools Keep Kids in Poverty (TED talk by Kandice Sumner)
- Follow Integrated Schools on Facebook
- "The Problem with Great Schools" inspired me to write this post
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
Home Shopping with Toddlers
In the past six weeks, we've taken our kids to some 40 open houses. And as far as I know, they haven't broken anything! They've picked a couple lemons without authorization (#socallife) and might have trampled a few flowers underfoot. They've tripped over too many uneven floors/unexpected steps to count. They are doorbell-ringing experts. And, they've learned to be on the lookout for cookies or other goodies up for grabs.
In fact, they've been house hunting for so long they've even started playing "open house" at home. Really! They set up boxes on the floor, then one kid said, "ding dong, you have sign? Me come see you house?" The other one said, "no, too dirty, me vacuum first." LOL
Real estate in the Los Angeles area is expensive. Exorbitant. Some might even say unreasonable. And yet, we've decided to throw our hats into the ring and purchase here as well.
Why, you might ask? I'll tell you.
For realz, people! We decided that we might as well make a mortgage payment for as much as we're spending on rent. The other option would be to move from our (expensive) apartment to a slightly less expensive rental, but we still want to buy eventually and moving with two little people is no joke. (We just did it last year, you know!) So, we sold the condo we owned in Seattle and now we're ready to buy here. We're hoping that the market doesn't totally tank right after we make a purchase, but one never knows.
It is hard to believe how quickly properties get snatched up and how much they wind up selling for. We are finally ready to put in our first offer on a house in the next couple of days. I am not overly optimistic about our chances of winning the bidding war. It seems like everyone I ask around here put offers on 5-10 properties before they finally got one. Maybe this will just be our warm up offer. The house is pretty cool, though, so I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Things I've learned about real estate in California (perhaps in general):
- Be super skeptical of homes without many photos online
- "California basement" is a polite term for "den of spiders and rodents"
- You could hire 21 different types of professionals to inspect your property, if you so desired
- Always pan up on Google Street View to check for giant power lines overhead
- It's hard to thoroughly inspect a property during an open house when your children are running amok
- There are way too many factors to consider in the home buying process. It is overwhelming!
- People who write home descriptions like the words/phrases "exclusive," "rare," "in-demand," and "don't miss out"
- There is no point in describing your listing in the Glendale/Pasadena area as "close to shops, restaurants, and schools" because that literally describes every home around here, as long as by "close" you mean "within a couple miles"
Hopefully before too long, we'll have a new nest to feather. Until then, we'll keep perching here in our cozy apartment. (Actually, not cozy. That's a code word for tiny. I should describe this apartment as spacious and well-appointed, in the highly-sought-after city of Pasadena!)
Sunday, April 29, 2018
Coconut Milk Tres Leches Recipe (dairy free)
I've been eating 100% dairy free for six months now. I decided to experiment with a dessert to take to dinner at our friends' last night. It was a success! Here's my recipe, based on one from the Pioneer Woman. Note that while she rated the degree of difficulty as "easy," I'd say it's more like "medium." I mean you have to separate eggs...that takes skill!
INGREDIENTS
Cake
INSTRUCTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spray a 9 x 13 inch pan liberally until coated. (Use a dairy-free cooking spray)
Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl.
Separate eggs.
Beat egg yolks with 1/2 cup sugar on high speed until yolks are pale yellow. (Use the paddle attachment for Kitchen Aid). Add in almond milk and vanilla. Mix until combined.
Pour egg yolk mixture over the flour mixture and stir very gently until combined.
Beat egg whites on high speed until soft peaks form. (Use the whisk attachment for Kitchen Aid.) With the mixer on, pour in remaining 1/4 cup sugar and beat until egg whites are stiff but not dry.
Fold egg white mixture into the batter very gently until just combined.
Pour into prepared pan and spread to smooth out the surface.
Bake for 30-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
Note: If you need to toast some shredded coconut for the topping, now is a great time to do it. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and sprinkle coconut in a thin layer. Toast for 5-6 minutes, stirring once. Watch it closely so it doesn't burn!
Allow cake to cool completely. When cake is cool, pierce the surface with a fork or toothpick all over. You're making small holes for the delicious filling to ooze into :)
Whisk together coconut milk and sweetened condensed coconut milk in a small pitcher, or a bowl with a pour spout. Slowly drizzle the milk mixture all over the cake, and don't forget the edges. Mine started "ponding" when I had about 1/2 cup of liquid left, so I stopped. Your results may vary.
Allow the cake to absorb the milk mixture for at least 1 hour, and preferably overnight. (Store in the refrigerator).
Just before serving, spread Cocowhip over the surface of the cake. Mix the toasted coconut and lime zest together in a small bowl. Sprinkle over the top of the cake.
Cut into squares and enjoy! Best when served cold.
INGREDIENTS
Cake
- 1 cup flour
- 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 5 eggs, divided
- 1/2 cup + 1/4 cup sugar
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
- 1/3 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk
- 1 can coconut milk
- 1 can sweetened condensed coconut milk
- 1 container Cocowhip, thawed
- 1/2 cup toasted shredded coconut
- zest of 1-3 limes, depending on how limey you like things
INSTRUCTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Spray a 9 x 13 inch pan liberally until coated. (Use a dairy-free cooking spray)
Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl.
Separate eggs.
Beat egg yolks with 1/2 cup sugar on high speed until yolks are pale yellow. (Use the paddle attachment for Kitchen Aid). Add in almond milk and vanilla. Mix until combined.
Pour egg yolk mixture over the flour mixture and stir very gently until combined.
Beat egg whites on high speed until soft peaks form. (Use the whisk attachment for Kitchen Aid.) With the mixer on, pour in remaining 1/4 cup sugar and beat until egg whites are stiff but not dry.
Fold egg white mixture into the batter very gently until just combined.
Pour into prepared pan and spread to smooth out the surface.
Bake for 30-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.
Note: If you need to toast some shredded coconut for the topping, now is a great time to do it. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and sprinkle coconut in a thin layer. Toast for 5-6 minutes, stirring once. Watch it closely so it doesn't burn!
Allow cake to cool completely. When cake is cool, pierce the surface with a fork or toothpick all over. You're making small holes for the delicious filling to ooze into :)
Whisk together coconut milk and sweetened condensed coconut milk in a small pitcher, or a bowl with a pour spout. Slowly drizzle the milk mixture all over the cake, and don't forget the edges. Mine started "ponding" when I had about 1/2 cup of liquid left, so I stopped. Your results may vary.
Allow the cake to absorb the milk mixture for at least 1 hour, and preferably overnight. (Store in the refrigerator).
Just before serving, spread Cocowhip over the surface of the cake. Mix the toasted coconut and lime zest together in a small bowl. Sprinkle over the top of the cake.
Cut into squares and enjoy! Best when served cold.
Friday, April 6, 2018
Putting Kids to Bed: Crossfit Edition
Are you into working out? Have I got a routine for you! It's called Crossfit: Bedtime x2 (no copyright infringement intended)
Material required:
Material required:
- A room with a door that can close
- 1 nightlight
- 2 raised platforms, 12" high
- 2 medicine balls, 27 lbs each (or heavier for added challenge)
- Plywood for inclined planes
- Optional: toys and books
Set up:
- Position the two platforms against opposite walls, approximately 5-6 feet apart. Make sure they are stable.
- Build ramps rolling off each platform with a holding space at the top for a medicine ball. Ball should be able to easily roll down the ramp; it should not remain on the platform for more than a few seconds.
- For extra difficulty, rig up a pulley system to open and close the door and allow balls to escape into the hallway
- Scatter toys/books around the room
- Plug in nightlight
- Turn off overhead light
- Close door
Workout method:
- Grab one medicine ball. Place it on the top of a ramp. Be sure to squat and use your leg muscles.
- With your core engaged, turn to the other platform and place the second ball atop its ramp.
- Lunge back to platform #1, scoop up the ball from the floor, and replace it.
- Hop over toys so you don't stub your toe
- Get distracted by hopping and allow ball #2 to escape out the door. Retrieve ball #2 and place on platform.
Reps:
- at least 100
Cool down:
- Ask your workout partner to come in and sit by one platform to hold the ball in place while you do the same for platform #2.
- Take deep cleansing breaths.
- Remain seated until the balls are no longer wiggling and are nearly asleep.
- Tiptoe out of the room.
- Pour yourself a glass of wine.
Monday, March 19, 2018
2.75 years
My babies are not babies anymore! Soon, they'll be turning three. I'll try to savor these last few months of year two while they last :)
Language
The highlight lately, for sure. They are always cracking me up with the funny things they say! Here's how they say things, creatively.
Counting: 1, 3, 2, 5, 2, 3
Any letters or numbers: Hey, ABCs!
Sideways: sidewards
Slippery: slippy
Peanut butter: pea burr
Milk: nilk
Smash: mash ("cars no mash me" they say in the parking garage)
Motorcycle: sa-sy-oh (I think? I never have any idea what they are saying for like the first 3 attempts, so then I guess "motorcycle?" and I'm sometimes right)
Some of their favorite expressions include "more" or "too." Example, "more pillows!" says Gibson, every time he's building a fort. They object to things by using too + adjective. Gus didn't want to try gyoza because "too slimy." They can't get on an elevator because "too much people." I have to get the fruit snack off their finger after they squished it up because "toooooo sticky!"
They've figured out the pronouns "you" and "me." Their current favorite fight in the back seat of the van is to mock the person in the sun by saying, "You sunny side! Me shady side!"
Understanding the World
They are convinced that animals pee out of their tails, so they think tails are really funny. I've tried explaining animal anatomy to them, but they don't believe me. However, I'm wary of proving my point by Googling "anatomically correct pictures of animals"...
They remember stuff that surprises me. We had a doctor's appointment, and a week later they remembered the doctor's name, which I'd maybe said twice. Whoa!
They love to laugh! Yesterday, we were watching a show with a couch that sprouted propellers and starting flying around, and they were literally falling over laughing about that. I didn't get why it was so hilarious, but I enjoyed listening to them giggle :)
They understand when I am not happy. But, sort of annoyingly, they ask me about it by saying, "Mommy happy mommy?" This most often happens when I'm scowling about the food they just dumped on the floor or similar events. I've tried responding along the lines of, "No, I'm not happy right now. You are not responsible for my emotions. I'm feeling frustrated about this mess." We recently made a calm-down corner with soothing toys, so sometimes I take a break there to calm down. Meanwhile, the boys just want to fight over the sensory items I got, so yeah, work in progress still...
We tried to convert their cribs into toddler beds a couple weeks ago. It was a disaster. The four crib walls are solidly back in place. Sometimes they ask for "no crib" now but I tell them we're going to wait till they're a little older to try again. They just could not stay in bed - the two of them egg each other on to increasing levels of chaos. And I don't like them frolicking around their bedroom in the dark for all the reasons you can imagine, plus some you can't. For example, we have a rocking chair that spins. One kid climbs into the chair while brother runs in a circle to spin him around, until the runner trips over a toy, or crashes into the wall, or the passenger decides he'd like to exit the ride without alerting the operator first...
Physical Milestones
Gus is solidly jumping now. It's kind of a gallop/jump, where his feet lift off the ground 1-2 instead of simultaneous, but I think it counts.
We went to a St. Patrick's Day festival on Saturday where they tried Irish dancing and managed to lift up and kick one leg without falling over. Then they started freestyling with spins and such :)
I recently took them to a park with a tall boulder climb. It was maybe 8 feet at the top. They both scurried right up the rocks, but only Gus was able to scoot back down; I had to rescue Gibson. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's starting to understand the effects of gravity.
They can go up and down stairs without holding the hand rail, albeit precariously. I wish they would hold the rail, especially in our apartment stairwell that we sometimes use as a short cut, but that rail has been deemed "too dirty, Mommy".
It's been a good few months here in Salmonista land. Having twin babies is insanity, but twin toddlers are pretty fun!
Language
The highlight lately, for sure. They are always cracking me up with the funny things they say! Here's how they say things, creatively.
Counting: 1, 3, 2, 5, 2, 3
Any letters or numbers: Hey, ABCs!
Sideways: sidewards
Slippery: slippy
Peanut butter: pea burr
Milk: nilk
Smash: mash ("cars no mash me" they say in the parking garage)
Motorcycle: sa-sy-oh (I think? I never have any idea what they are saying for like the first 3 attempts, so then I guess "motorcycle?" and I'm sometimes right)
Some of their favorite expressions include "more" or "too." Example, "more pillows!" says Gibson, every time he's building a fort. They object to things by using too + adjective. Gus didn't want to try gyoza because "too slimy." They can't get on an elevator because "too much people." I have to get the fruit snack off their finger after they squished it up because "toooooo sticky!"
They've figured out the pronouns "you" and "me." Their current favorite fight in the back seat of the van is to mock the person in the sun by saying, "You sunny side! Me shady side!"
Understanding the World
They are convinced that animals pee out of their tails, so they think tails are really funny. I've tried explaining animal anatomy to them, but they don't believe me. However, I'm wary of proving my point by Googling "anatomically correct pictures of animals"...
They remember stuff that surprises me. We had a doctor's appointment, and a week later they remembered the doctor's name, which I'd maybe said twice. Whoa!
They love to laugh! Yesterday, we were watching a show with a couch that sprouted propellers and starting flying around, and they were literally falling over laughing about that. I didn't get why it was so hilarious, but I enjoyed listening to them giggle :)
They understand when I am not happy. But, sort of annoyingly, they ask me about it by saying, "Mommy happy mommy?" This most often happens when I'm scowling about the food they just dumped on the floor or similar events. I've tried responding along the lines of, "No, I'm not happy right now. You are not responsible for my emotions. I'm feeling frustrated about this mess." We recently made a calm-down corner with soothing toys, so sometimes I take a break there to calm down. Meanwhile, the boys just want to fight over the sensory items I got, so yeah, work in progress still...
We tried to convert their cribs into toddler beds a couple weeks ago. It was a disaster. The four crib walls are solidly back in place. Sometimes they ask for "no crib" now but I tell them we're going to wait till they're a little older to try again. They just could not stay in bed - the two of them egg each other on to increasing levels of chaos. And I don't like them frolicking around their bedroom in the dark for all the reasons you can imagine, plus some you can't. For example, we have a rocking chair that spins. One kid climbs into the chair while brother runs in a circle to spin him around, until the runner trips over a toy, or crashes into the wall, or the passenger decides he'd like to exit the ride without alerting the operator first...
Physical Milestones
Gus is solidly jumping now. It's kind of a gallop/jump, where his feet lift off the ground 1-2 instead of simultaneous, but I think it counts.
We went to a St. Patrick's Day festival on Saturday where they tried Irish dancing and managed to lift up and kick one leg without falling over. Then they started freestyling with spins and such :)
I recently took them to a park with a tall boulder climb. It was maybe 8 feet at the top. They both scurried right up the rocks, but only Gus was able to scoot back down; I had to rescue Gibson. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's starting to understand the effects of gravity.
They can go up and down stairs without holding the hand rail, albeit precariously. I wish they would hold the rail, especially in our apartment stairwell that we sometimes use as a short cut, but that rail has been deemed "too dirty, Mommy".
It's been a good few months here in Salmonista land. Having twin babies is insanity, but twin toddlers are pretty fun!
Monday, March 12, 2018
Not the Same, but Similar
Awhile back, I had the realization that my life completely changed when I had kids. (Yes, I know it seems obvious!) But when I wrote that previous post, the boys were one year old. They were walking, though still wobbly on their feet. They stuck EVERYTHING in their mouths. When I said that my life would "never be the same," I was envisioning a future where I hovered behind two small people forever, trying to catch them before they toppled over and bonked their heads while simultaneously removing all choking hazards from their line of sight.
Now that the kids are rapidly approaching their preschool years, well, life is changing again. I'm seeing some glimmers of hope for the future in which I am not always a human helicopter!
On Friday, we participated in the local festivities known as Art Night Pasadena. It was, briefly, not a disaster and even sort of enjoyable! We walked to a local restaurant for dinner. Then, we watched a dance performance at Lineage where the boys managed not to create a scene, even though they were super excited about all the different colors of lights shining in the studio. From there, we caught a shuttle bus over to Kidspace. The museum was really packed, but the boys did not totally freak out. When it was time to go, we wound up having to wait like 20 minutes for a shuttle back to our neck of the woods, but again the boys managed to keep it together. They loved riding the bus, too!
Ok, now that I've written it all out, it doesn't sound that exciting. Let me elaborate - at dinner, DF and I were actually able to eat our meals, and the boys also ate food (we didn't have to resort to the emergency peanut butter crackers in the diaper bag). At the dance studio, we all watched the dancers together - the boys sat in chairs, rather than running amok/climbing furniture. Now, pre-kids I wouldn't have chosen to go to a children's museum so that part of the night was different. But dinner and local entertainment? That's totally something DF and I would have done before our little guys came along!
So yes, my life is different now, but that doesn't mean it has to be COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE from my previous life. If I liked doing things before kids, chances are, I'll be able to find ways to incorporate them into our new reality as a family of four.
Hooray for things being different...and the same!
Now that the kids are rapidly approaching their preschool years, well, life is changing again. I'm seeing some glimmers of hope for the future in which I am not always a human helicopter!
On Friday, we participated in the local festivities known as Art Night Pasadena. It was, briefly, not a disaster and even sort of enjoyable! We walked to a local restaurant for dinner. Then, we watched a dance performance at Lineage where the boys managed not to create a scene, even though they were super excited about all the different colors of lights shining in the studio. From there, we caught a shuttle bus over to Kidspace. The museum was really packed, but the boys did not totally freak out. When it was time to go, we wound up having to wait like 20 minutes for a shuttle back to our neck of the woods, but again the boys managed to keep it together. They loved riding the bus, too!
Ok, now that I've written it all out, it doesn't sound that exciting. Let me elaborate - at dinner, DF and I were actually able to eat our meals, and the boys also ate food (we didn't have to resort to the emergency peanut butter crackers in the diaper bag). At the dance studio, we all watched the dancers together - the boys sat in chairs, rather than running amok/climbing furniture. Now, pre-kids I wouldn't have chosen to go to a children's museum so that part of the night was different. But dinner and local entertainment? That's totally something DF and I would have done before our little guys came along!
So yes, my life is different now, but that doesn't mean it has to be COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE from my previous life. If I liked doing things before kids, chances are, I'll be able to find ways to incorporate them into our new reality as a family of four.
Hooray for things being different...and the same!
Monday, February 26, 2018
Six Months in SoCal
We arrived here in California just over six months ago. I thought I'd take the occasion to reflect on life here in my new state.
I loved it when we got here, and half a year later, I still love it! Perhaps I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase? We'll have to check back later to see how I'm feeling. What do I like about California? Glad you asked!
The Weather/Climate
I hate to be so cliché, but it's just lovely here. It's almost always sunny with a gentle breeze. We're currently going through a cold snap where it's been dipping down into the 30s at night and only hitting 60 for a high temperature, but I don't even mind because I know it'll be scorching hot in a few months. When it does get hot, it's not humid, so you can still, you know, breathe outside. There are hardly any mosquitoes either, and it cools down in the evenings so you can open your windows without inviting an insect invasion.
This is my first time living in an area that's so sunny. It is awesome! I really don't know how all the Californians who have moved to the PNW survive in the gray winters. Maybe they still have friends/family down here and escape to soak up some Vitamin D on the weekends.
Geography
Living in a region with mountains makes me smile. Sure, some days it's too smoggy to see them, but lately the full San Gabriel Range has been on display. And then there's the other foothills and such that I don't know the names of yet, but they are also scenic. Nearby us there is a place called the Arroyo, which as far as I can tell means a dry canyon. It's rugged and rocky and makes you feel like you've escaped the city when you go there.
And then, don't forget the beach! Depending on traffic, it's about 45-60 minutes for us to get to a beach. By LA standards, that's far away but by Memphis standards, it's awesome :)
I know people also talk about skiing/mountain activities here. We haven't ventured North/East yet, but when we do, I'll be sure to blog about it.
Activities
This part's a bit overwhelming, actually. In Memphis it was kind of straightforward. If you have little kids, you want a membership to the zoo, children's museum, and/or botanic garden. Around here, sheesh! There are about 1,000 options, it seems like! I mean, there are the classic big theme parks, like Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Knotts Berry Farm. You've got too many museums to count, zoos, aquariums, gardens, science centers, theaters, and I don't even know how many other choices of things to do. Plus since the weather is almost always nice, you can explore all the various parks and outdoor spaces. If you ever hear me saying I'm bored, that's just crazy talk. I could live here for the rest of my life and still not do everything.
Food/Dietary Options
Since arriving in CA, I've decided to go dairy-free. Although I didn't test as allergic to milk, I just feel so much better without dairy. It's been a pretty easy transition thanks to all of the vegan options around here, both in grocery stores and at restaurants. And if you ask the waitstaff, "Does that have dairy?" you don't get a strange look or anything. Meanwhile, in Memphis, I once got a total eye roll for ordering enchiladas with no cheese at a Mexican restaurant.
Speaking of Mexican food, taco trucks here are legit and delicious. There are so many different types of food available here that it's impossible to list them all. Ever had Indonesian bone broth? There's a place just a couple blocks away from us with a simmering vat full! I want to go out to eat all the time. But my children aren't very adventurous eaters, so sometimes we opt for take-out for the grownups and chicken nuggets for the kids...
Closer to Relatives
My parents and siblings all live in Oregon. It's really nice to be close to them - just a quick 2 hour flight, instead of a whole-day travel ordeal, and you don't have to change time zones!
Public Services
I'm just starting to learn about this topic, but I guess all those personal income tax funds we're paying to the state are getting used for stuff! I've been attending a free weekly parent education class offered at a local community college. They have 10 or 15 different classes going every week, all free! It's my understanding that a combo of state funding and private fundraising covers the cost. The class is like a preschool where parents and children are there together. So cool!
And now, for the things that have been harder to cope with...
Huge Metropolis
I can't really explain to you how gigantic the Los Angeles metro area is. Apparently it's the second-largest metro area in the country. There are like 60 cities in the region, depending on how you define "city." I'm always having to check Google Maps to see where places are, because I'll read a blog or something about a fun weekend activity only to find out it's down in Orange County (an hour+ away). Short of hanging a giant regional map on the wall and studying it daily, I don't know how I'll ever wrap my head around the megalopolis that is Los Angeles.
Tons of People
Remember all those things I listed above that I like about SoCal? Yeah, a bunch of other people also like those things, so they all want to live here, too. Traffic is intense. You really do have to plan your trips around traffic if you don't want to spend your whole life sitting on a freeway. And then when you go places and do things, a bunch of other people are also there at the same places wanting to do the same things. We went to the zoo on President's Day and it was packed to the gills! I have never been to a zoo that was so busy before. I suppose it being a school holiday, parents were looking for a way to entertain their kids, but still, we had to wait in the members line for like 10-15 minutes just to get through the front gate!
Cost of Living
Really, this one hasn't bothered me too much because I knew what we were getting into, but I feel compelled to mention it. It is certainly more expensive to live here than Memphis. It seems more expensive than Seattle, too, though we left that city nearly 5 years ago so my mental price list is probably outdated. The cost of housing around LA is shockingly high. We keep debating if we should buy a place here. Then we look at the prices and say, "it's got to be a bubble, right? It'll pop soon." But the prices just keep on rising...!
I loved it when we got here, and half a year later, I still love it! Perhaps I'm still in the "honeymoon" phase? We'll have to check back later to see how I'm feeling. What do I like about California? Glad you asked!
The Weather/Climate
I hate to be so cliché, but it's just lovely here. It's almost always sunny with a gentle breeze. We're currently going through a cold snap where it's been dipping down into the 30s at night and only hitting 60 for a high temperature, but I don't even mind because I know it'll be scorching hot in a few months. When it does get hot, it's not humid, so you can still, you know, breathe outside. There are hardly any mosquitoes either, and it cools down in the evenings so you can open your windows without inviting an insect invasion.
This is my first time living in an area that's so sunny. It is awesome! I really don't know how all the Californians who have moved to the PNW survive in the gray winters. Maybe they still have friends/family down here and escape to soak up some Vitamin D on the weekends.
Geography
Living in a region with mountains makes me smile. Sure, some days it's too smoggy to see them, but lately the full San Gabriel Range has been on display. And then there's the other foothills and such that I don't know the names of yet, but they are also scenic. Nearby us there is a place called the Arroyo, which as far as I can tell means a dry canyon. It's rugged and rocky and makes you feel like you've escaped the city when you go there.
And then, don't forget the beach! Depending on traffic, it's about 45-60 minutes for us to get to a beach. By LA standards, that's far away but by Memphis standards, it's awesome :)
I know people also talk about skiing/mountain activities here. We haven't ventured North/East yet, but when we do, I'll be sure to blog about it.
Activities
This part's a bit overwhelming, actually. In Memphis it was kind of straightforward. If you have little kids, you want a membership to the zoo, children's museum, and/or botanic garden. Around here, sheesh! There are about 1,000 options, it seems like! I mean, there are the classic big theme parks, like Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Knotts Berry Farm. You've got too many museums to count, zoos, aquariums, gardens, science centers, theaters, and I don't even know how many other choices of things to do. Plus since the weather is almost always nice, you can explore all the various parks and outdoor spaces. If you ever hear me saying I'm bored, that's just crazy talk. I could live here for the rest of my life and still not do everything.
Food/Dietary Options
Since arriving in CA, I've decided to go dairy-free. Although I didn't test as allergic to milk, I just feel so much better without dairy. It's been a pretty easy transition thanks to all of the vegan options around here, both in grocery stores and at restaurants. And if you ask the waitstaff, "Does that have dairy?" you don't get a strange look or anything. Meanwhile, in Memphis, I once got a total eye roll for ordering enchiladas with no cheese at a Mexican restaurant.
Speaking of Mexican food, taco trucks here are legit and delicious. There are so many different types of food available here that it's impossible to list them all. Ever had Indonesian bone broth? There's a place just a couple blocks away from us with a simmering vat full! I want to go out to eat all the time. But my children aren't very adventurous eaters, so sometimes we opt for take-out for the grownups and chicken nuggets for the kids...
Closer to Relatives
My parents and siblings all live in Oregon. It's really nice to be close to them - just a quick 2 hour flight, instead of a whole-day travel ordeal, and you don't have to change time zones!
Public Services
I'm just starting to learn about this topic, but I guess all those personal income tax funds we're paying to the state are getting used for stuff! I've been attending a free weekly parent education class offered at a local community college. They have 10 or 15 different classes going every week, all free! It's my understanding that a combo of state funding and private fundraising covers the cost. The class is like a preschool where parents and children are there together. So cool!
And now, for the things that have been harder to cope with...
Huge Metropolis
I can't really explain to you how gigantic the Los Angeles metro area is. Apparently it's the second-largest metro area in the country. There are like 60 cities in the region, depending on how you define "city." I'm always having to check Google Maps to see where places are, because I'll read a blog or something about a fun weekend activity only to find out it's down in Orange County (an hour+ away). Short of hanging a giant regional map on the wall and studying it daily, I don't know how I'll ever wrap my head around the megalopolis that is Los Angeles.
Tons of People
Remember all those things I listed above that I like about SoCal? Yeah, a bunch of other people also like those things, so they all want to live here, too. Traffic is intense. You really do have to plan your trips around traffic if you don't want to spend your whole life sitting on a freeway. And then when you go places and do things, a bunch of other people are also there at the same places wanting to do the same things. We went to the zoo on President's Day and it was packed to the gills! I have never been to a zoo that was so busy before. I suppose it being a school holiday, parents were looking for a way to entertain their kids, but still, we had to wait in the members line for like 10-15 minutes just to get through the front gate!
Cost of Living
Really, this one hasn't bothered me too much because I knew what we were getting into, but I feel compelled to mention it. It is certainly more expensive to live here than Memphis. It seems more expensive than Seattle, too, though we left that city nearly 5 years ago so my mental price list is probably outdated. The cost of housing around LA is shockingly high. We keep debating if we should buy a place here. Then we look at the prices and say, "it's got to be a bubble, right? It'll pop soon." But the prices just keep on rising...!
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Mommy Water Mommy
My kids have started bookending things they say with "Mommy _____ Mommy!" If they want a cookie, it's "Mommy cookie Mommy." I don't even know how to punctuate it - should there be commas? "Mommy, fruit snacks, Mommy." And don't worry, Daddy isn't left out of the mix. "Daddy, train, Daddy!"
On the one hand, it kind of drives me crazy. Who else would they be asking for water, or a cookie, or fruit snacks when I'm the only grown up home? And why must they say Mommy twice? I heard them the first time!
But on the other hand, how precious is it that I have two little people who rely on me to meet their needs that they keep asking me, by name, to fulfill their requests? And even when I say, "No, we aren't having cookies right now," they don't give up :)
Everyone says these days with little ones don't last forever, and I know it's true. Life is short - too short, we are reminded in times of tragedy. I'm reminded of these song lyrics from Psalm 62.
Though life is but a fleeting breath,
A sigh too brief to measure,
My King has crushed the curse of death
And I am His forever
Today, I pray "God, peace, God." "God, love, God." "God, help, God!" Thanks for the reminder, kids. May we raise you to shine your lights into the darkness.
Thursday, February 1, 2018
Language Learning
I think we've crossed that "language explosion" threshold over here - Gus and Gibson have been chattering up a storm! It's pretty cute to watch their vocabulary expand and language develop. Here are a few highlights.
- "Hey! Hey! Blaaaanket!" <or other noun> Most often said by Gibson when he sees something new or unexpected. In this example, he got up from nap and observed a blanket on the couch.
- Singing "A-B-C-A-B-C-A-B-C" as the alphabet song
- When they see text, they point and say "letters!" They also say "numbers" sometimes...I am not sure if they understand that letters and numbers are different yet.
- "Me eat ALL!" Said in reference to any food item, such as a box of 40 mini pancakes. "Me eat all pa-pace!" "No," says brother, "ME eat all!" "Boys," I say, "We have plenty of pancakes for everyone."
- And that leads to the first 5-word sentence I heard, "No eat all apples, Gus!" said Gibson, after Gus threatened to polish off a two-pound sack.
- Verb confusion with words like see/look. "No see me," they say, when they mean don't look at me. Most often accompanied by a stay-back gesture when sitting on the potty.
- Subject/object confusion such as saying "show me" while pulling on my hand, meaning I want to show you something
This afternoon, they had a whole conversation about an ice pack and things that are cold. It went on for a few minutes without any input from me. I was impressed!
I was told that a good rule of thumb for language development is that by age 3, your kids should be understood by other people (not immediate family members) about 80% of the time. Oh my. I spend all day with them and I only understand like 50-60% of what they say. Good thing we have a few months to work on our pronunciation before their 3-year check up.
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