Scars

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes and encouragement - the healing process is well underway over here, and I'm doing much better than I was just 3 weeks ago! Now that the immediate crisis has passed, I'm trying to figure out how to cope with the aftermath and adjust to a new sense of normal.

In pregnancy, I feel like "normal" is a shifting target, though. At first, it's normal to be queasy and subsist on saltine crackers. Later on, it's normal to waddle and need to use the bathroom every 5 minutes. Every day is a bit of an adventure into the unknown, I suppose.

Now I'm adding "healing from surgery" to the mix. I've got plenty of small scars already - don't we all? Most of them make for great stories, like the time a rabbit almost bit off the tip of my finger, or when I tripped in the kitchen and fell chin-first onto a cheese grater. These little blemishes aren't very noticeable; most of the time I don't even think about them. An abdominal incision is more difficult to ignore. I don't want to get into all the gory details (because I'll gross myself out), but let's just say I currently have to choose my clothes carefully to avoid pain, and my future days of wearing a bikini might be over. (Perhaps I'll emulate the Duggars and start wearing modest swim dresses.)

Why does this bother me? I probably wear a swimming suit 5 days out of the year when we go on vacation. I don't really even like to swim. I'm overly concerned about skin cancer and try to stay covered up at the beach/pool when I can. So wearing a tankini or one-piece suite is really not going to impact my lifestyle much at all. But I just don't like that I have this huge scar. It's not how I imagined my life turning out. I wanted to be one of those moms who pops out her babies and then starts doing mommy aerobics and has her old body back in no time. Was that a realistic expectation? Given that I rarely exercised even before getting pregnant, probably not...

Looking on the bright side, I'm grateful that the babies are doing well and developing just as they should be so far. I'm no longer in pain. We have health insurance so this unexpected medical issue isn't going to break the bank.

Vanity of vanity, all is vanity.

Hmm, this post really has nothing to do with life in the South particularly. Maybe next time!