Geographical Politics

Here's a fairly obvious observation: some people are really into politics. Let me clarify - certain people identify parts of the country as "desirable" or "undesirable" based on the region's political leanings. We hadn't even lived in TN for a year when a woman I'd just met learned we moved from Seattle. She replied, "Oh, how did you stand living there? It's so liberal!" I thought this was a strange thing to say to a person to whom she'd just been introduced. What did she know about my personal political beliefs at that point? Nothing. And we weren't talking about anything remotely political before I mentioned where I used to live, so why did she leap to that topic?

I just don't get it. When I meet a new person, it has never occurred to me to comment on the "redness" or "blueness" of the person's home state. For example, let's say I met someone from Rhode Island. First of all, I'd be excited because it's a pretty small state, and there aren't too many Rhode Islanders running around! So I'd probably comment on that. Second, I'd say, "Oh, my cousin went to college in Newport! She really loved it." See what I did there? I said something positive about the area in attempts to form a connection with this stranger and be friendly. This is what I thought Southerners were supposed to be good at! And really, almost all Southerners are. Usually when I mention I'm from the NW, I hear comments like, "Oh, we went on vacation to Washington State a few years ago and just loved it!" Or, "What a beautiful part of the country! I'd love to visit Crater Lake someday." Or even, "Does it really rain as much as everyone says?" I don't really mind that last one because the person is asking for more information.

What I would not say about Rhode Island is, "Ugh, that state is so full of liberal Yankees!" Do you know why not? Because that isn't very friendly. And I've never even been there, so how do I know?

I mean, spoiler alert, I tend to be fairly liberal myself. I grew up in the NW, you know! It seeped into my bones, like moss growing on rocks in the damp winters. Do people here assume that I must be conservative because I live in Tennessee now? Most likely, any liberal tendencies I was harboring washed away as I crossed the mighty Mississippi...right?

Perhaps this is a generational difference. There have been maybe three Southerners total who've made these sorts of comments to (upon first introduction), and all of them have been a good 30+ years my senior. 

I suspect this is not just a Memphis phenomenon though, because when we announced we were leaving Seattle for the South, I had a couple NW friends say similar things to me, but in reverse. (Like, "Oh, I could never live there! It's so conservative!") And those people were of my generation. Uh oh, the polarization is spreading... 

My advice is, get to know your neighbors and be nice to people, regardless of who you're voting for in the upcoming election!

P.S. On second thought, if I met a person from North Korea, I would probably feel compelled to comment on politics, at least to the effect of, "Wow, I've heard that's a really closed country! How did you get out of there?" But other than NK, I shall attempt not to bring up politics upon first meeting someone :)

Accepting Reality: Pacifier Edition

Today, I continue my occasional series of examining what parenting is really like. And once again, I must roll my eyes at my pre-kid self because I specifically remember saying, "My children will never have those pacifier leashes! Kids shouldn't have pacifiers 24/7."

And now, Exhibit A:



I caved. Seriously, I should have bought these pacifier clips MONTHS ago. Do you know what stopped me? Idealism. According to my rules about the world, my children only used pacifiers when sleeping (naps & bedtime). Pacifiers are supposed to be one of their many sleep associations, the others being a dark room, a sound machine making ocean noises, zippered sleep sacks, and sleeping in their cribs.

Without really meaning to, though, I started to stretch the pacifier limit. Maybe they were fussy when waking up from a nap, so I let them keep the pacifier until the next snack/meal time. Or they were sick, and I felt sorry for them, so I let them suck away. Or we were driving somewhere and I just couldn't handle the crying, so I tossed pacifiers into their car seats to keep them quiet. But still, I thought these were just exceptions to the rule. As a result, we suffered through cross-country flights earlier this summer with pacifiers but without clips, so the boys kept dropping their pacifiers on the disgustingly dirty plane floor for 4 hours!! Oh brother! If I'd just accepted the fact that they were using pacifiers more frequently, we could have saved them from a lot of germ exposure (and saved our aching backs, too!)

Now after a particularly illness-filled month of August, I've lost all control of the pacifier situation around here. Gibson doesn't say a lot of words yet, but one he does say is "nigh nigh," and that means pacifier...said in a whiny, pained voice which I interpret to mean, "Mom, I'm going to shrivel up and die if you don't give me a nigh nigh right now!!" Powerless to resist his pleas, I pop the requested blob of plastic/silicone/whatever those things are made of into his mouth. He happily slurps away. And once one brother has a pacifier, there's an all-out war until the other brother gets one as well.

I'm trying really hard not to extrapolate here, but I foresee nothing but doom and destruction as we follow this path to its logical conclusion! At age 1, it's a pacifier. By age 7, they'll want to jump their dirt bikes off a cliff and I'll say, "Oh, I don't know honey, that looks a little dangerous..." but they'll say, "Pleeeeeeeease Mom? Don't ruin our childhoods by making us miss out on this adventure!" And I'll say, "Oh, ok but be careful." And then they'll both wind up in full body casts...

Ok, perhaps that's a bit extreme. But I am concerned about what this pacifier addiction will do for their speech development. How can they learn to talk if they always have something in their mouths? And yes, there are also orthodontic issues to consider, but given their genetics, they're probably going to need braces anyway so I'm not super worried about that. And also our pediatrician told me that there's some evidence that frequent pacifier use leads to more ear infections. Ack! I'm giving them the pacifiers b/c they are upset that they have ear infections! So then they get a new ear infection? Vicious cycle!!

On the Verge of Enjoying

I had a book called "Your Baby's First Year" that alerted me to all the developmental events taking place in my kids' brains. But the AAP hasn't yet published the "Second Year" edition, so now I'm on my own trying to figure out what these little people are up to. (I'm doing my best not to Google every little thing these days...)

My latest observation: I think the boys are starting to enjoy life more. Sure, before they had things they liked, such as eating, crawling, and waving rattles. But now they are starting to show preferences for what actually makes them happy. It's fun to watch them discover life! And whenever we can figure out an event/activity that combines a lot of their "likes," so much the better :)

So far, they have fairly similar interests. I'm sure we'll see different personalities continue to emerge, but for the most part now they are being twins, ha ha.

Popsicles. Maybe this is a summer thing? We've been to 3 outdoor events in the last week where Mempops had a booth, and the boys were definitely happy to slurp on little bites of frozen deliciousness. We also have a daily afternoon popsicle snack at home. This started when Baby A (Gus) went on a bottle-drinking strike and I was trying to keep him hydrated.

Animals. They love to look at animals in real life, on TV, and in books. They are good at making animal sounds, including "meow," "woof," and I've even heard a "moo" or two. They get excited if we're out on a walk in the neighborhood and they hear a dog barking - we have to stop and look at it for awhile.

Music. I had NPR on in the car the other day when they started playing opera. I was going to change the station, but then I heard Baby B (Gibson) singing along in the back seat. Laaaaaa! Sometimes when I'm singing a song, they'll make some "la" noises, too. We have this musical turtle that I'm attempting to use to teach them about chords...

Other kids. They are really interested in what other kids are doing. They like to watch them run around. If another kid is crying, like in a store, they seem worried and look at me like, "Mom, aren't you going to help that kid?"

Playing with trucks. We got them some toy trucks that they are totally obsessed with. They make a "vrroom" noise and walk/crawl up and down the hallway over and over. Lately they've started picking up other little toys to carry in the truck's bucket. The other day, I took the boys to this dinner event at church and brought their trucks along. They had a BLAST roaming all over the wide open space of the fellowship hall + foyer. DF also had a blast, I'm sure, chasing them around so I could eat :)

If this trend continues, I see many more fun weekends in our future! Up till now, we've basically been asking ourselves, "What can the boys tolerate?" But maybe soon the question will be, "What would they like to do?"