Accepting Reality: Pacifier Edition

Today, I continue my occasional series of examining what parenting is really like. And once again, I must roll my eyes at my pre-kid self because I specifically remember saying, "My children will never have those pacifier leashes! Kids shouldn't have pacifiers 24/7."

And now, Exhibit A:



I caved. Seriously, I should have bought these pacifier clips MONTHS ago. Do you know what stopped me? Idealism. According to my rules about the world, my children only used pacifiers when sleeping (naps & bedtime). Pacifiers are supposed to be one of their many sleep associations, the others being a dark room, a sound machine making ocean noises, zippered sleep sacks, and sleeping in their cribs.

Without really meaning to, though, I started to stretch the pacifier limit. Maybe they were fussy when waking up from a nap, so I let them keep the pacifier until the next snack/meal time. Or they were sick, and I felt sorry for them, so I let them suck away. Or we were driving somewhere and I just couldn't handle the crying, so I tossed pacifiers into their car seats to keep them quiet. But still, I thought these were just exceptions to the rule. As a result, we suffered through cross-country flights earlier this summer with pacifiers but without clips, so the boys kept dropping their pacifiers on the disgustingly dirty plane floor for 4 hours!! Oh brother! If I'd just accepted the fact that they were using pacifiers more frequently, we could have saved them from a lot of germ exposure (and saved our aching backs, too!)

Now after a particularly illness-filled month of August, I've lost all control of the pacifier situation around here. Gibson doesn't say a lot of words yet, but one he does say is "nigh nigh," and that means pacifier...said in a whiny, pained voice which I interpret to mean, "Mom, I'm going to shrivel up and die if you don't give me a nigh nigh right now!!" Powerless to resist his pleas, I pop the requested blob of plastic/silicone/whatever those things are made of into his mouth. He happily slurps away. And once one brother has a pacifier, there's an all-out war until the other brother gets one as well.

I'm trying really hard not to extrapolate here, but I foresee nothing but doom and destruction as we follow this path to its logical conclusion! At age 1, it's a pacifier. By age 7, they'll want to jump their dirt bikes off a cliff and I'll say, "Oh, I don't know honey, that looks a little dangerous..." but they'll say, "Pleeeeeeeease Mom? Don't ruin our childhoods by making us miss out on this adventure!" And I'll say, "Oh, ok but be careful." And then they'll both wind up in full body casts...

Ok, perhaps that's a bit extreme. But I am concerned about what this pacifier addiction will do for their speech development. How can they learn to talk if they always have something in their mouths? And yes, there are also orthodontic issues to consider, but given their genetics, they're probably going to need braces anyway so I'm not super worried about that. And also our pediatrician told me that there's some evidence that frequent pacifier use leads to more ear infections. Ack! I'm giving them the pacifiers b/c they are upset that they have ear infections! So then they get a new ear infection? Vicious cycle!!