Snippets of Toddler-hood

The boys are so creative and imaginative these days. Life is fun with two 2-year-olds! Here are a few things they've been pretending lately.

• Being a witch who blows bubbles on people/animals to turn them into frogs (idea came from their favorite episode of Bubble Guppies)
• Daddy is a car with a radio that plays music (Daddy helps out by singing "la la la")
• Everything becomes a bulldozer, dump truck, mixer truck, or other vehicle. Sandwich crusts are tow trucks, watermelon rinds are boats, etc 
• Fires, fires everywhere. They are constantly playing firefighter. Problem there is they get really mad when brother pretends to spray their head/face with a fire hose...
• They have babies growing in their tummies and are going to be daddies. Uh, what?? I don't know what prompted this one, except we did recently get a book with a pregnant person in it.
• Everything is a baby that cries, drinks a bottle, and needs a diaper change. Not just stuffed animals - a toy truck has also needed a bottle. This is cute until both of their babies start crying and they shove them into my arms! I tell them I already took care of twin babies so now it's their turn.

I'm tapping into the power of imagination for their own good. When we went to get flu shots last week, we practiced what we learned from Daniel Tiger - "Close your eyes and think of something happy." Gibson said he would think about a bulldozer. He only let out one little yelp when he got his shot! I was so proud of him, and of myself because apparently I did not pass on my childhood needle anxiety to him. Gus was a bit more, uh, expressive in his protests, but he still got a sticker at the end of the ordeal.

"You'll Just Know"

I was chatting with a friend who's expecting her first child. I told her one of the most confusing parts of being a parent is that things are always changing. And, when you ask people for advice about how to deal with these changes, they say, "Oh, you'll just know!"

Guess what? You won't. Not always.

Ok, perhaps there are some parents out there who used to work in daycares, or had a bunch of younger siblings/cousins, or babysat all the time, or have infant ESP. Maybe those people intuitively know what their babies need. But this mom? I was (am) flying by the seat of my pants most of the time.

(Also, I think some of the "you'll just know" crowd are ladies who are now grandmothers and who've forgotten what daily life with little ones is really like...)

Take sleeping, for instance. Since a newborn sleeps a lot, it's important to know what works best for your baby. Let me emphasize the extent to which I DID NOT KNOW what I was doing on the sleep front. Why? A) I was sleep deprived myself. B) There were two babies. C) They kept changing what they wanted. D) There is no consensus in the "sleep expert" community. E) Every baby is different.

So what did we do? We experimented. We tried various sleep locations - swing, bouncer, pack-n-play, crib. We swaddled in blankets. We swaddled in velcro sleep sacks. We bought blackout curtains and a white noise machine for the nursery. We used different types of pacifiers. We rocked them to sleep. We let them cry (a little). We drove them around in the van.

Eventually, through trial and error, we found some methods to get our kids to sleep that were effective. Yay! But then we had to deal with nap transitions. That's another area where people love to tell you, "you'll just know when it's time." Uh, negatory, good buddy! Here's my thought process.

Hmm, Gus took about 20 minutes to fall asleep. That's a long time. I wonder if I need to move his nap back a bit? Meanwhile, Gibson fell right to sleep, but he woke up 30 minutes before his brother. So let's try pushing nap time a little later to see if we can get them to sync up. But I need them to be awake for at least 3 hours between naps, and then we're running into dinner time...hmm...

My powers of observation informed me there was a problem brewing, but my motherly intuition didn't immediately tell what to do. Instead, I formed a hypothesis about a solution which required further field testing. Ultimately, I suppose I learned that you can't really control your kids, even when they are infants. And although the craziness of multiple nap schedules makes you want to pull your hair out when you're going through it, that phase of life doesn't really last too long.

How did I arrive at that conclusion? I just know :)

2 Years!

I'm a bit late in posting this two year milestone update, since we were traveling on the boys' actual birthday. So they get a little extra credit, I guess :)

Also, I've totally accepted the reality that this blog is my children's baby book. If I haven't started a physical book after two years, it's not gonna happen. If you, my adoring public, enjoy reading along, so much the better!

Here are some of Gus and Gibson's latest developments.

Physical/Motor Skills
Climbing is still a favorite pastime. I took the boys to a new park a couple weeks ago. Gibson made a beeline for a plastic rock climbing structure and was on the top of it before I knew what was happening. Meanwhile, Gus was slipping off a faux rock and I was trying to catch him while keeping an eye on Gibson as he went for a huge slide. We all survived! Man, they are adventurous.

They are getting taller and can open some doors. This is not my favorite development. Commence next-level babyproofing!

They can sort of play catch now. They've always enjoyed throwing. Now, they can even manage to catch a ball, sometimes.

They can't really dress themselves, but at times they do take off their sandals or socks. (To clarify: I mean on different days. We do not wears socks + sandals because we are not dorky northwesterners ;) ) If they work together, they can take off their pants, but luckily they don't do it very often. They can't get their own shirts over their huge noggins yet.

Eating/Drinking
We let them drink from regular cups once in awhile, when we're outside and it's just water. They can sort of handle it, but splashing in the open water is also very tempting.

Their favorite foods lately (and how they pronounce them) are chicken (bok-bok), blueberries (boo-bey), frozen banana slices (na-na), cookies (coo-ey), yogurt (go-guh), popsicles (pah-ih), applesauce (ah), potatoes (tay-oh), and orange juice (joos).

Talking
As you can tell from the previous paragraph, they've learned lots of new words lately! They have a tendency to add an extra consonant sound before words that start with a vowel, like "bapple" for apple and "Melmo" for Elmo. It's cute :)

Sleeping
We're in a solid one-nap routine here. They sleep 11-12 hours at night and 2-3 hours for their afternoon nap, usually. Nap time has been closer to 2 hours lately. If you must know, I am in denial about the fact that they'll ever reach a no-nap stage. Naps forever!

Favorite Things
Animals! They love all things animal-related. On our recent trip, we got a little book with animal pictures that the love "reading" by loudly making all the animal sounds. It's a chorus of, "meow!" "ooh-ahh!" "hop!" "squawk!" "neigh!" etc, etc, etc.

They're big fans of toys with wheels that they can drive, or pull around, or ride on.

Not Favorite Things
Gus is going through a "I hate baths" phase of life. It's unpleasant.

They're both getting picky about eating vegetables. For example, if a pea tries to sneak into their other food, they point at it, look grossed out, and say, "pea! pea!" until I extract the offensive legume... Sometimes they do eat peas, but not very often anymore.

Is Competency Possible in Parenting?

Back when I used to work for a paycheck (rather than for slobbery peanut-butter-covered face rubs), I found satisfaction in a job well done. I feel confident that, after an initial learning curve, I was pretty darn competent in most of my jobs. (That one internship in grad school where I never really understood what I was supposed to be doing aside, of course.)

Lately, it's occurred to me that working a job is super different than being a parent. No duh, right? As usual, sometimes it takes me awhile to catch on to these obvious realities. At work, I had a boss, a job description, procedures/policies to follow, and results to achieve. I could measure my progress and see how I was getting better at my job. I also received feedback from managers, customers, and co-workers that let me know if I was on the right track.

Let's take one of my first jobs, the illustrious position of Courtesy Clerk at a grocery store. My brother called me a "bag lady," but I think Courtesy Clerk sounds more professional :)  When I first started the job, I received training on the company's procedures and had a chance to practice the job in a controlled environment. Once I was working in the store, supervisors were close by to provide guidance. After just a short time, I found myself improving. I could bag groceries more quickly and efficiently. I wasn't as exhausted after spending a whole shift standing up/walking. I started to recognize when little tasks needed to be completed and did them without explicit instructions. Over time, I got to try out new positions in the store, such as Janitor and Bakery Clerk. Even in new roles, my goal still remained the same, to provide excellent customer service. (Green Bow Tie Service, we called it.) And at the end of the day, I knew if I'd done a good job or not.

Why am I reminiscing about the good ol' days of <ack!> two decades ago? Because that job was both similar to and strikingly different than motherhood.

See, in pretty much any job, there is a right and wrong way to do things. Maybe what is "right" and "wrong" is just sort of arbitrary or determined by your brand standards. If you work for Coca-Cola, I bet it would be wrong to host a company function at a Pepsi-serving facility. You can learn these rules and follow them if you want to be a good worker.

But what about motherhood? Sure, moms agree on big-ticket items like "you should give your children food and liquid," but beyond that, it's impossible to reach consensus about the right/wrong way to do it. Is formula evil, or is it a modern miracle? Should I let my kids have pouches, or should they be eating regular table foods right from the start? What about organic? GMOs? Is the meat I feed them ethically-sourced? Or should we be going full-on vegan? Is juice a good choice to keep kids hydrated, or are milk and water the only acceptable beverages?

Maybe a few generations ago, there wasn't so much debate on these topics. Moms just did what their mothers before them had done, or they followed along with the norms of their communities. The information age is a stressful time to be raising children.

My rambling point is, compared to the relative certainty I had about being a good employee, I find it nearly impossible to know how I'm doing as a mom. I have moments where I feel like, "oh yeah, I got this!" But there's no one here looking over my shoulder all the time to tell me if I'm doing things "right." And even if there was, I'd probably want to Google it to verify if my motherhood supervisor was really up to date on all the latest research. I don't have a lot of policies or procedures to follow. I won't know for a long time if my mothering work is really effective. I mean, how many people do you know who seem to be totally competent and kind parents but then their kids wind up making some rather unhealthy/undesirable life choices as they get older?

In my less angst-ridden moments, I try to remind myself of some general principles I want my kids to learn like, "be kind to others" and "think before you act." And I want to be sure I'm showing them lots of love along the way. But then I start to spin my wheels when I think about all the areas of their life I can't control. They could be the victim of a crime, or hurt in an accident, or contract a serious illness. What then? How can I reconcile my instinctual desire to protect them with the reality of life here on Earth?

Motherhood is a tough job.

1.75 Years

Gus and Gibson are quickly approaching two years old. The other day, I tried to make a list of specific milestones and when they reached them, because I know I'll forget all the details eventually. Unfortunately, I already have forgotten when they started rolling over...maybe around 5 months? I can't find any photographic evidence, either. But luckily I do have pictures/videos of other important moments like first solid food. Oatmeal cereal...those were the days!

So, what are they up to at 21 months?

Physical skills: lots of climbing, running, and being busy little bees. Yesterday, Gus semi-ran down a hill without face planting, which was a first. Yay! They love climbing up and going down slides at the park. They've almost figured out how to jump in place, or at least bend their knees jumpishly.

Fine motor skills: definitely getting better at building with blocks. Recently I saw Gibson stack two little cubes of kiwi on his high chair tray. That seemed pretty good.

Finding things: since we have so much baby paraphernalia everywhere, it seems we are constantly looking for items, like snack cups, the other identical toy that brother has, missing socks, etc. They are both getting pretty good at retrieving lost items. I find this helpful because, really, if they misplaced their sock, shouldn't they be the one to find it anyway?

Playing together: I've really seen progress on this front in the last month. In general, they play together fairly well! They love to chase each other around the house, giggle about everything, and generally enjoy life together. Yes, they still fight, but it's not their default mode of interaction lately. Hip hip, hooray!

Watching TV: when they were sick a couple weeks ago, we watched a lot of TV. I try to point them to non-screen activities when they aren't sick. But I have noticed that they actually pay attention to TV now and will engage with whatever is on the screen, like talking to Daniel Tiger, pointing out interesting animals, or clapping along with music. It's cute, but at the same time makes me realize I want to be selective in what they are viewing, since they seem to understand it more now.

Language: Gibson is obsessed with saying "no." It's his answer to nearly every question. He'll be happily munching on food, and I'll say, "Oh, Gibson, do you like your snack? Is that yummy?" He shakes his head and says "no." Oh, personal autonomy :) I nod my head and say, "Yes! Oh, it's so tasty!"

Imagination: they love to pretend to cook food in their toy kitchen, then feed it to DF and me. They'll come running out from the playroom with their hands cupped. This means there is some imaginary food there that we must sample with enthusiasm. Then they giggle, run back, get more, and feed us again. This can continue for at least 10 minutes before they get bored and move on to a new activity.

Ewww: in the last couple of weeks, they've decided it is hilarious to drink their bath water. I tell them it's gross, but they just laugh and keep doing it. All our bath toys resemble cups, so that's not helping. I hope it's not going to hurt them too much to ingest a little soap.

20 Months

Gus and Gibson are 20 months old now! I know, it's kind of passé to keep counting months once you've reached the 12th one, but what can I say, human development is interesting...to me at least!

Language
New words include balloon (ba-oo) and broccoli (bah-kee). They attempted to say guacamole the other day (ga-oh-ee)...I'll take it!

I tried to make a list of all the vowel sounds I've heard them say: short a (dada), short e (eh eh, pointing at what they want), long e (eeeee! squeal of excitement), short i (ih ih, when trying to accomplish a task), long i (nigh nigh, aka pacifier), short o (dog), long o (no), short u (uh oh), ow sound (wow), oo sound (moo), oy sound (ga-doy, Gus's favorite word which he repeats at least 10 times in a row. I don't know what it means).

Consonant sounds are kind of hit-or-miss. They can definitely say b, d, hard g, k, and n. Sometimes they get l, m, and t in the mix as well. I wouldn't call it a definite "th" sound, but they do like to stick their tongues between their teeth and kind of make a noise.

I'm trying to make sure DF teaches them how to roll their Rs, like rr in Spanish. Despite my many years of Spanish language study, I still can't roll the rr correctly in words like burro, though I can fake it relatively well. I remember learning once that below the age of 5, kids can learn to make any sound from any language. So as long as we teach them young, hopefully they'll be set.

Physical skills
Climbing on everything. Their latest activity is to make loops up and over the couch - we have a couch with a chaise cushion that sticks out, so they climb up one side and down the other in endless succession. I don't even have to catch them very often anymore, except when they are getting tired and wobbly.

Sleeping
We're in a solid one-nap-a-day routine. They generally nap from 12-3, though sometimes shorter depending on the day. At night, they sleep from about 8pm-7am if we're lucky.

Eating
They've been trying all sorts of new foods lately. They're doing better with dairy so I'm not as vigilant about avoiding all milk. In fact, they love Goldfish crackers (and the Aldi-brand-equivalent penguins). But they don't like mac & cheese, which I find strange because I thought all American kids were born with a genetic predisposition to love the stuff.

Since they have a couple molars now, chewing is getting easier. I gave them Veggie Straws the other day (like a semi-healthy chip shaped like a french fry), and they were big fans.

They still like fish, which I consider a win since I hated fish as a kid. Basically all our seafood comes from Costco and is the freezer-to-oven variety. We like salmon, mahi mahi, and panko-breaded tilapia. I try to feed them fish once or twice a week.

Overall
They are becoming more like little kids every day - as in, less like babies. They're getting more self-sufficient and can understand more language. Actually, that last part is kind of dangerous because I have to watch what I say now. For example, I can't talk about teeth or the brushing thereof unless it's actually time to brush teeth, because if I mention it they drop whatever they're doing and run to the gate at the bathroom door, clanging until I let them in and give them their toothbrushes...

Saying "Yes" Again

I've spent the better part of the last two years saying "No." No, I can't eat that - I'm pregnant. No, I can't attend that evening social event - the babies have to go to bed. No, I can't commit to attending those meetings regularly - my kids are always sick.

At first, saying "no" just seemed normal. I didn't really think much of it because I meant I was saying yes to other priorities. As an example, when I was pumping for the babies, saying "yes" to feeding them breast milk meant I had to say "no" to anything that disrupted my pumping schedule too much. No to going out to lunch. No to seeing a movie. No to leaving the house for more than a couple hours at a time. I wanted to provide milk for them as long as I could, so those "nos" weren't too tough to accept.

But other times, saying "no" was more grating. Since the twins were preemies, our doctor advised us to keep them away from germs as much as possible last winter. That meant we were basically quarantined in our house until April. They were also taking three naps a day most of the winter. So that led to an avalanche of "nos." No, we can't attend church. No, we don't take them to play groups. No, we never go anywhere or do anything more than shop at Kroger, and even then I'm hyper vigilant for anyone sneezing in our vicinty!!

I hadn't thought about all this until the other day when I was talking to a friend, and she mentioned how she has to say "no" to some things because of what she wants to prioritize. Then it hit me - I am able to say "yes" much more often now! This winter is so much different than last. The boys go to MDO twice a week and happily play in the nursery during church activities. I'm volunteering regularly in the community. Both DF and I are back to singing in the choir. The kids and I visit the zoo, parks, and lots of other germy places with just hand sanitizer to protect us. Sure, we still have a nap schedule to contend with, but that's fairly predictable these days. 

I'm looking for other things I can say "yes" to, so if you know of something local that I/the kids might like, let me know! 

18 Months

Happy 1.5 years to our little bundles of energy! Here are some of their latest developments.

Language/Talking
They are saying a few more words lately including "wow" and "no." I wasn't sure if they actually understood the word "no" until the other day when Gibson tried to take a toy Gus was playing with. Gus hugged the toy to his chest saying "nononononooo!" Ah ha, I think he gets it!

I can tell they understand new things every day. When I say, "Do you need me to wipe your nose?" they both make sniffling noises. I've even gotten them to carry things from one room to another, just by giving verbal directions. I love watching their little brains catch on to stuff like this!

Eating
Their newest obsession is cantaloupe. All summer, they devoured watermelon and I found cantaloupes on sale at Aldi last week. Good deal, because they've been turning their noses up at my other fruit offerings lately. Oh, except canned pears. Fresh pears are hit or miss, but Gus slurped down almost a whole can of pears by himself recently.

Gibson is the more carnivorous kid. He enjoys all types of meat - fish, poultry, beef. I'm teaching them to like the good salmon (wild caught Alaskan) from Costco. It's got a kind of spicy sauce, but they don't seem to mind.

Ketchup is their new favorite thing to eat with pretty much all food. I see they take after their uncle, Jr. Fuzzy...

Health & Hygiene
They survived getting tubes in their ears and adenoids removed last month. Really, it didn't seem to faze them too much. It was more of survival on the parents' part, especially the really long surgery day at the hospital when it took them forever to recover from anesthesia! After a couple days, they were mostly back to their old selves. They both had colds at the time which didn't really help with recovery. But we've now gone 3 weeks without an ear infection, so that's good!

They are working on getting a bunch of teeth right now - lots of chewing and drooling. Gus has all 8 of his front teeth with molars coming soon. Gibson has 7. They both hate getting their teeth brushed. Sometimes we let them "brush" their own teeth but they mainly want to throw the toothbrushes on the bathroom floor or gag themselves by sticking the brushes all the way in their mouths.

Brush that they love = hair brush. Perhaps because they finally have grown some hair? For whatever reason, they are always asking me to brush their hair. I don't let them play with the hair brush, though, because it's too perfect of a weapon.

Playing
They like to chase each other around, and since they're getting better at trotting, this activity is more enjoyable. We have some big boxes that they run around, hide behind, and then squeal with delight when they catch each other.

Gus's favorite games are "tackle brother" and "whack-a-brother," the latter involving any object and Gibson's head. If I hear a yelp coming from the other room, I usually respond, "Gus, get off your brother!" and I'm right 90% of the time. He's got about a pound weight advantage that he literally throws around. I'm not saying Gibson is an innocent little angel - he likes to whack his brother, too - but Gus is definitely the more aggressive one.

Large Motor Skills: Climbing
I took them to a play group held in a space with a raised stage, maybe 18" off the ground. Danger zone! They both kept just walking off the edge while I hopped back and forth trying to teach them how to get down safely. But one time they went two different directions which meant I only caught one of them. Bonk goes the Gibson! After that, though, he figured out how to climb up and down without falling. I believe that is what we call natural consequences being the teacher. Gus, meanwhile, continued to fling himself off the stage, blissfully oblivious to the effects of gravity since Mom was there to catch him.

Holiday Celebrations
I think they like all the sparkly Christmas lights and decorations we see when we're out and about, but I don't think they really understand the idea of "holidays" yet. They got to open a couple presents already and were more into ripping/eating the paper than the contents of the package. That seems pretty normal to me for their age.

The Skill Set of a Twin Wrangler

Another reader-suggested post today: Reflections on transitioning from a professional who flew around the US and had a very full schedule. How have the skills of your profession helped you in your twin wrangling profession?

(Yes, the "reader" mentioned above is my mother. My biggest fan, ha ha :) )

Raising twins is a challenging profession. It's not like I filled out an application, had an interview, and HR said, "You are just what we're looking for. Here are your twins!" Ha ha! No. Apparently, God thought that DF and I were up to the task, and so here we are. The phrase baptism by fire comes to mind at times.

But yes, Mom, you make a good point. I did develop some skills in my previous jobs that I've been able to apply to motherhood x2.

Coping with Stress
I've dealt with my fair share of job-related stress through the years, whether it was dissatisfied customers whose coffee order hadn't arrived on time, or a host parent who couldn't get their exchange student to follow their household rules. In those stressful times, I found that often what the other party wanted was for me to listen to their problem, empathize with them, and then take whatever steps I could to fix it. I try to do the same with my kids. For instance, maybe they trip over a toy, fall, and bonk their head. I give them a hug while they cry, say, "Ouch! It hurt when you fell on your truck," then give them a softer toy to hold with until they're ready to hop up and run around again.

At work, I also had to learn not to internalize the stress from others. I had a coworker once who was fond of saying she had to "empty her emotional bucket." This means that you have to find ways to de-stress yourself regularly so that you don't overflow and dump your emotions all over someone who really wasn't prepared for it. Now, I certainly did not perfect this approach on the job, but I tried some techniques like not checking email outside of work hours except in extreme circumstances. That way I had time to mentally refresh before going back into the office. It's a little trickier as a mom since my hours aren't exactly, shall we say, confined to a certain window. But I will say that I feel better on the days when I spend the boys' nap time losing myself in a good book instead of frittering away the hour(s) on Facebook.

Juggling Multiple Priorities
I suppose nearly every job has days/seasons where there's too much to do and not enough time to do it. In those periods, I learned how to take a step back and assess which tasks needed to take priority. Sometimes it was obvious, like in a job with a daily time deadline for a certain task to be completed. In other cases, I had to consider multiple factors, like who would be impacted by a delay, my working relationships with those people, and if there was a way I could share some of my workload with others.

Now, consider my SAHM life. My top priorities are making sure my children are safe, fed, clothed, well-rested, and having their emotional needs met. (I was going to say "happy" for that last point, but I realized that's an unrealistic goal.) Anything that doesn't contribute to those priorities tends to take a back burner.

But what if the twins themselves are giving me two different priorities simultaneously? Well, that's a tricky one. I've had to get creative. I remember awhile back when the boys were sick, particularly Gus. It was meal time, but he didn't want to eat. He was too upset. Gibson was hungry, though, and getting mad because I wasn't feeding him. Solution? Grab the Ergo carrier, strap Gus in (meeting emotional need for safety/connection), then I've got my hands free to feed Gibson (meeting need of hunger).

Functioning on Little Sleep
Back when I was working, sometimes I had to keep on being a professional even when I was tired, like when I was crossing time zones in travel and my brain's sleep clock got out of whack. Or, I was in charge of events that went all day, but I still had work to complete in the evenings. Only rarely did I actually get awoken in the middle of the night by an exchange-student-related phone call.

The sleep-deprived life of newborn twins is sooooo much worse than anything I encountered when working. I was such a zombie those first 6 months of motherhood. It made me realize I'm tougher than I thought, however. Pre-kids, if I didn't get a decent night's sleep, the whole next day was shot. I was grouchy, my head hurt, and I had a hard time being productive. With the babies, I had to push on through the exhaustion. I was responsible for their well-being in a way that far exceeded the supervision required to make sure a bunch of foreign teenagers didn't convince the hotel shuttle driver to take them to Walmart without their chaperone's permission. The babies needed me to be alert enough that I wouldn't stick a bottle in their eye or swaddle them upside down. We muddled through that phase of life somehow!

Now that they sleep fairly well, I feel so much more human. And for those times when they have a rough night, I know that I'll be ok the next day. Yes, I'll be tired, but it won't be the bone-rattling exhaustion I've already endured. And maybe I can sneak in a nap while they're sleeping.

Developmental Progress

Yesterday, we received the results we've been waiting more than a year to hear...the boys have overcome their preemie status! (Ha ha, you didn't think I was going to write about the election, did you?)

That's right, at their physical therapy checkup yesterday, both kids demonstrated that they've met nearly all the developmental milestones of 16 month olds, and they don't have to come back for any more assessments. Praise God and hip hip, hooray!

There are just two areas where they're slightly behind the curve: using a spoon, and talking. The spoon/fork delay is mostly my fault because I hardly ever remember to give them silverware during meal times. How can they learn if they don't practice? As for language, they have several "risk factors" for delay, namely being preemies, boys, and twins. They say maybe 6-8 words now. They're supposed to have 20 words by 18-20 months. Last night I think I heard Gus say "cracker," so maybe he's up to 9 words now. He's the more talkative twin.

The things they're doing well include walking, navigating over/around obstacles, throwing a ball, coloring with a crayon, picking up small items like beads, etc. Great job, boys! Onward and upward!

I Counted My Chickens

I jinxed myself. That's the only explanation. In the lead up to the end of DST (aka "fall back"), I was getting a bit anxious about how the boys would adapt. And I didn't want to be one of those parents who complains, "I didn't get an extra hour of sleep because I have children!" So we started taking proactive measures to adjust them to the new time gradually.

About 10 days ago, I noticed the boys woke up a little later than usual. That day, I pushed their schedule back by about 15 minutes and it seemed ok. As the days went on, we kept them up later and later. Yesterday, they got up around 8:15am and went to bed at 9:30pm. It was perfect - an hour later than usual! I'll admit, I was totally patting myself on the back and getting ready to write a blog about my amazing parenting/sleep coaching skills to share my awesomeness with y'all.

The best laid plans, eh?

Last night, sometime in the wee hours of the morning (I make it a rule not to look at my clock when awakened), I heard a cry. Rousing my brain from slumber, I hoped whoever it was would just squawk a little and go back to sleep. But moments later, I heard the other kid. That's never a good sign - once they are both awake, intervention is required. I wondered if they'd gotten too cold, as autumn has finally arrived in TN. So I went into their room to find both boys sitting in their cribs, crying, but with no obvious cause. They felt appropriately warm - not feverish, not freezing. Diapers were fine. I got them up and rocked them for awhile. They calmed down. I put them back in bed and returned to bed myself. Checking my phone, I found it was 2:36am. Hmm, so that meant I already got my extra hour of sleep, right? Because we repeated 1-2am?

Apparently the boys weren't ready to go back to sleep, since the squawking continued. DF and I hypothesized that perhaps they had teething pain. They've seemed extra drool-ey of late. I gave them Tylenol and rocked some more. Gus actually fell asleep in the rocking chair but awoke in the attempted transfer back to bed. I tried a couple other go back to sleep techniques, including the ill-advised "let's lay on pillows on the floor while I rub your backs," which only resulted in them seeing all their toys and wanting to play. Sigh. So, we got up, changed diapers, ate some Cheerios, read lots of books, and sang some songs. Finally around 4:15, they got drowsy and acquiesced to slumber.

Now, who knows what the day holds. It's 7:20am CST meaning they should be awake by now, yet they're still snoozing away.

Let my tale serve as a warning to you: all those cliches exist for a reason! Do not congratulate yourself prematurely, and hold your future plans loosely....especially if you have twin one year olds.

Ouch!

Parenthood is painful. You think I mean labor & delivery? Well, yes, that part is rough, but it's not my topic today. I'm talking about the quotidian aches and injuries that come with the territory of raising little ones.

Right now, without exaggerating, I can tell you about 4 times I hurt myself just this week, all kid-related:

• I pinched my left pinky finger between the driver's door and dashboard in the van (didn't even know that was possible!) because I had my hand down on the dash pushing the auto-close buttons for the back sliding doors while simultaneously closing my own door. That was a couple days ago and my finger tip still throbs sometimes. I hope my nail doesn't turn all purple and disgusting.
• I was trying to pick a kid up off the floor but he wriggled away. I whacked my elbow on a built-in cubbyhole in the hallway at home.
• I can't quite recall the circumstances of the third injury - I think I was holding one of the boys when he flung his head back dramatically and banged into my arm (the humerus, to be precise). I've got a nickel-sized bruise there now. Not very humorous! (ha ha, come on, you knew I had to go there)
• When I was lifting the still-folded-up stroller out of the van, it slipped out of my hand. Somehow my hip bone broke its fall (I'm going to go with the anterior interior iliac spine this time). I am surprised the impact didn't result in bleeding because it really stung!

Those are just the incidents that hurt enough for me to remember. I'm not even counting all the times I tripped over/stepped on toys (so glad we don't have small Legos yet), got whacked in the face by flailing children, or felt the burn in my back and legs while picking up two kids at the same time.

It's possible I'm clumsier than most. As a gangly teenager, I had a penchant for accidentally colliding with doorways and walls, then flopping on the floor dramatically, writhing in pain. With my kids around now, I do my best to keep a lid on it so I don't scare them unintentionally. Awhile back, I was holding Gibson when he unexpectedly chomped down on my shoulder - hard! I yelped, "Ouch!" He started wailing, so then I had to comfort him in his scaredness even though I'm the one who got bit. Oh, the life of a mom.

Snacks, Snacks, and More Snacks

I decided to write down everything the boys ate yesterday. I thought it might be interesting. What I realized is that they are basically subsisting on a variety of crackers! I mean, I was aware of their fondness for crackers, but I guess I didn't quite notice how much it's become the centerpiece of their diet...

This is what they ate together. In general, Gus eats more than Gibson, though they both take delight in throwing food on the floor.

Breakfast

• 1 1/2 bananas
• 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter & honey
• 1 kiwi (that was all Gus)
• almond milk
• Amount thrown on floor = minimal

Snack

• Cheerios, mostly thrown on the floor
• water

Lunch

• 2 slices of deli turkey (a lot on floor)
• steamed sweet potatoes - not sure of quantity, let's say one large mommy-sized handful (a lot to the floor as well)
• 9 blackberries
• 1/2 a strawberry soy yogurt
• copious amounts of Ritz crackers
• almond milk

Snack

• Cheerios, ate about 3 off the tray then threw the rest overboard. Later ate most of them off the floor/high chair footrest
• a lot of animal crackers
• water

Yes, Another Snack

• 10 saltine crackers, eaten while walking around, leaving cracker crumbs all over the kitchen
• water

Dinner

• 3/4 cup pasta with tomato and meat sauce
• 12 green beans
• 3 small mommy-sized handfuls of blueberries
• rest of the yogurt from lunch, mostly smeared around tray/flung on self/wiped in hair
• almond milk
• Amount thrown on floor was pretty low this meal. Maybe they were hungry for something other than crackers! Or perhaps it's because I gave them forks and plates - usually we just do finger food, but I heard I'm supposed to teach them to be civilized at some point.

Snack

• 1 Three Musketeers fun-size bar, cut up into little pieces and surprisingly not thrown on the floor :)
• a mountain of Ritz crackers
• they also begged for noodles out of the soup I was eating, then dropped them on the floor

16 Months, Part 2

After I wrote yesterday's post, I realized I'd forgotten to inform the boys' fan club that they have a few more new tricks :)

Ostriching
This kind of looks like they are trying to do headstands. As in, they'll be standing up, then lean down and put their head on the floor. They also put their heads down on the floor when sitting in low little chairs. Invariably, they crack themselves up by doing it.

More Noise
In addition to all the animal noises I already mentioned, "ambulance siren" and "vrooming truck" are also part of their sound repertoire.

Headwear
Not so much hats as just any random fabric - they love to put stuff on their heads, like shirts, blankets, towels. Then they walk/crawl around and giggle. Gibson particularly enjoys blind walking, aka covering his whole head and face then trying to walk around. As you may expect, he usually crashes into something...

16 Months

I haven't done a "monthly" update in awhile so I figured it was about time to record their latest milestones!

Large Motor Skills
-Both boys are walking like pros now! About two weeks ago, Gibson really took off and now likes to walk all over the house. After a slow start to the walking game, Gus is right on his heels. It's so adorable to see them toddling all over the place like real toddlers, haha. They fall over all the time when walking, so they still crawl a lot, too. I'd say it's maybe 30% walking and 70% crawling right now. Maybe 40/60, depends on the day. I need to get them some real shoes so we can try walking outside at the park. Currently they just have soft sole Robeez for wearing in the nursery.

Fine Motor Skills
-They are obsessed with picking up little crumbs or pieces of fuzz they find on the floor. Tiny little things! Then they play with them and try to eat them. I assume this is good for their fine motor skills.
-I try to get them to color with crayons once in awhile, but they aren't too interested in it. I mean, they like to chew on crayons of course. But I don't think they grasp the concept of coloring on paper yet.

Play Time
-They love to put things into containers, like putting a ball into a box and shaking it around. This is supposed to be a developmental milestone, right? Mainly, they seem to find it entertaining.

-Emptying the recycling bin is one of their favorite pastimes. I have to make sure to put any metal and glass directly into the can outside; they have fun with yogurt containers and cardboard.

-Lately they've really gotten into stuffed animals, like hugging them and playing with them. I can see the little wheels turning in their heads as they realize that different toys have different purposes. (Now let's be honest, all toys are useful for whacking your brother, but some of them also have other uses!)

-We are now putting them both in the bath together. (I finally decided they were good enough at sitting still that they weren't too likely to drown.) They splash with enthusiasm and scream when it's time to get out!

Language

-They don't say a whole lot of words yet, just Mama, Dada, dog, ball, banana, and nigh nigh [meaning pacifier]. However, they do make lots of intelligible sounds! They can make noises like meow, woof, howl, moo, and cheep. They also like to make a "blub-blub-blub" noise by strumming their lips with their fingers. We have this musical turtle toy and they will sing along with me when I say "la la la." Otherwise, they communicate their desires by pointing, grunting, and saying "ah ah!"

Eating

-Both boys are doing great drinking from sippy cups. Gus was on a drinking strike for awhile there, so it's nice to see him consuming liquid again.

-They have definitely gotten more picky in the last few months. They won't eat several foods that they used to wolf down, like peaches and pears. But, they're also fairly open to trying new things. I made a dairy-free version of tater tot casserole that they thought was tasty. (I think that milk upsets their tummies, so we're currently avoiding dairy.)
-They have 6 teeth now, 4 on top and 2 on bottom. 

Personalities

-I'm starting to think they might both be extroverts. They are almost always happy when we are out and about, waving at the shoppers in Kroger or random people at the park. They love playing with other kids in the nursery at church. When we just stay home all day and don't go anywhere, they get kind of grouchy. Or, maybe I get grouchy and it rubs off on them...? 

Understanding Life

(I don't really know what to call this category)

-They understand the word "no" and hate to hear it! This morning, Gibson was trying to push a chair over on top of Gus. I said, "No no, that's not nice" and both boys collapsed on the floor, crying. Sheesh boys, I didn't even yell at you!

-They've figured out who Elmo is and run over to the TV, smiling and giggling, when he comes on.

Sibling Rivalry

The boys have progressed beyond accidentally inflicting injury on each other to full-on fighting. Oh dear. Based on my observations so far, Gus is usually the aggressor. I know, I know, you aren't supposed to "label" your kids. But what else am I supposed to say about it when he is literally throwing his weight around?? (He outweighs his brother by over a pound.)

Scenario:
Boys are playing with books. Gibson is flipping through the pages of one that Gus decides he wants to read. Gus grabs the book and turns aside to read it himself. Gibson cries.

What would you do in this situation? I've tried all of these:

A) Give the book back to Gibson and tell Gus, "Your brother is reading that book right now. You can have a turn when he's done." Then I give Gus a different book. Does it work? HAHAHA of course not! Two seconds later, Gus is back over there, grabbing the same book.

B) Let Gus keep the book he grabbed and give Gibson a different one. Does it work? Actually, most of the time, yes. I'm not sure if this means Gibson's more easy-going, more likely to cave in to bullies, or if he's just accepted the fact that his brother is the boss.

C) Use a different toy to distract them from books altogether. Does it work? About 40% of the time.

To keep the peace, we try to get two copies of toys when feasible. And I've actually seen some progress on the sharing front. We have this push walker that they used to really fight over - I had to hold one of them while the other one would take a turn or else it devolved into a knock-down-scream fest. But now, they can usually share it ok. It's like they keep an eye out for the walker to be available, and if brother is using it, they can find something else to play with while they wait. Oh, there is hope!

I'm trying to remember how my own parents handled it when my sister and I would fight. (Which we did. A lot.) I recall some toys being confiscated to the top of the refrigerator until we could agree to play with them nicely. I think once we were old enough, they expected us to work out our minor squabbles ourselves. Currently, I fear the injuries that will result if I leave my kids to resolve their own disagreements, since their main way of communicating disapproval is whacking brother in the head with the disputed item...

Time Flies

All you parent types who keep telling me, "Oh, enjoy this age - it goes by so fast!"...I think I'm starting to comprehend what you're saying. I didn't understand before because that first year of life (or first 14 months in our case, with our 2 bonus months) was long. Really long. I-wonder-if-this-year-is-ever-going-to-end long. There is no part of me that wants to go back and relive the year. I'm glad I took plenty of pictures to look at later when I get nostalgic.

But now? Time does feel like it's speeding up. (Here I must apologize to DF, as one of his pet peeves is people talking about the various speeds of time passing when it quite obviously always passes at the same rate.) Like, whoa, where did the month of September go? How is it fall break next week already? To me, it seems like the days pass more quickly now. My hypothesis about this phenomenon is because the kids are getting more interesting, so I'm not as bored. In addition, I'm not as sleep deprived. So, we can actually do things and have fun together! In fact just this morning, I led some high chair stretches including excellent upraised arms from my little protégés :)

The other day, I was talking to a woman whose kids are all in their 20s, but the way she was recounting one of her labor stories, you'd think she had just given birth yesterday. It hit me - to her, it probably does feel like just the other day she was holding her babies. Then all of a sudden, poof, they grew up! And before long, that's going to be me! I'll be the mom on Facebook (or whatever social media we're using) in 4 years saying, "Oh my word, how are my babies old enough to be starting KINDERGARTEN!!??"

It's strange to think about it sometimes. Right now, I know a lot about my kids. Not everything, since they can't really talk and tell me what they're thinking. But a fair deal. I know what their different cries/whines/whimpers mean. This too is a bit weird to me, because when they were first born I felt so clueless about them. I didn't really spend much time around babies before I had my own. People told me I'd learn as I went along, and apparently I did. Yay! Such mom skills!

But soon, I'm not going to know everything about them. They'll start talking, but then one day they won't want to talk as much. They'll have private thoughts and feelings that they won't share with me. They might even be able to sneak around and do things that I don't know about! And then one day I'll wake up and my babies will be off at college and I'll be staring out the kitchen window wondering who they are becoming...

(Assuming they go to college. Nothing wrong with vocational school though, boys. The world needs good electricians, too!)

Oh my. Yes. I need to live in the present. I recognize that I can't possibly savor every moment, but I can find some savor-worthy moments each day. And before you know it, today will be yesterday...

Just a Flesh Wound

Oh, I am not emotionally prepared to be raising two rambunctious boys. Too many opportunities for injury!

This weekend, we received our monthly delivery of diapers and related paraphernalia from Amazon. Normally, I toss the big cardboard shipping box in recycling, but DF suggested letting the boys play in it for awhile. It was a huge hit, of course! They loved it! We set the box down on its side so the boys could crawl in and out of it, swing the flaps around, and have fun. I was glad to see them enjoying their new "toy," but I couldn't help hovering next to them like a helicopter; I foresaw a high potential for injury with both of them literally bouncing off the cardboard walls.

Well, even though I was sitting 3 feet away from them watching them like a hawk, they still managed to hurt themselves! Gibson was inside the box, pushing on one side, when all of a sudden Gus crawled over and pushed in the same direction. It was a slow motion box somersault that I jumped up too late to stop. Gus cried a little, but Gibson really wailed so I picked him up. Then I looked down at my shirt and saw he was drooling blood on my shoulder. Upon closer inspection, I could see two little teeth marks where he'd bit his lower lip. Poor kiddo! I grabbed a wet washcloth for him to chew on. The bleeding stopped in like 30 seconds. Yeah, fairly minor injury...

I quickly banished the box to the kitchen and announced that they boys were never playing in a cardboard box again! DF raised his eyebrows and said something to the effect of, "You know they're going to get hurt sometimes, right?" "No!" I replied. "It's my job to protect them from everything!" DF thinks I can't do that, nor should I.

Sigh. He has a point. Most childhoods worth their salt include a handful of skinned elbows and knees, and maybe even a broken bone or two. Plus who's never sat around with friends swapping scar stories? I suppose most scars result from injury. But, ack, I don't like seeing my kids in pain!!

Today is garbage/recycling day, yet the box is still sitting in the kitchen. I relented. Maybe we can find a way to wedge the box between other things so it can't tip over as easily. The children's fun can continue, and I'll keep hovering nearby...

Accepting Reality: Pacifier Edition

Today, I continue my occasional series of examining what parenting is really like. And once again, I must roll my eyes at my pre-kid self because I specifically remember saying, "My children will never have those pacifier leashes! Kids shouldn't have pacifiers 24/7."

And now, Exhibit A:



I caved. Seriously, I should have bought these pacifier clips MONTHS ago. Do you know what stopped me? Idealism. According to my rules about the world, my children only used pacifiers when sleeping (naps & bedtime). Pacifiers are supposed to be one of their many sleep associations, the others being a dark room, a sound machine making ocean noises, zippered sleep sacks, and sleeping in their cribs.

Without really meaning to, though, I started to stretch the pacifier limit. Maybe they were fussy when waking up from a nap, so I let them keep the pacifier until the next snack/meal time. Or they were sick, and I felt sorry for them, so I let them suck away. Or we were driving somewhere and I just couldn't handle the crying, so I tossed pacifiers into their car seats to keep them quiet. But still, I thought these were just exceptions to the rule. As a result, we suffered through cross-country flights earlier this summer with pacifiers but without clips, so the boys kept dropping their pacifiers on the disgustingly dirty plane floor for 4 hours!! Oh brother! If I'd just accepted the fact that they were using pacifiers more frequently, we could have saved them from a lot of germ exposure (and saved our aching backs, too!)

Now after a particularly illness-filled month of August, I've lost all control of the pacifier situation around here. Gibson doesn't say a lot of words yet, but one he does say is "nigh nigh," and that means pacifier...said in a whiny, pained voice which I interpret to mean, "Mom, I'm going to shrivel up and die if you don't give me a nigh nigh right now!!" Powerless to resist his pleas, I pop the requested blob of plastic/silicone/whatever those things are made of into his mouth. He happily slurps away. And once one brother has a pacifier, there's an all-out war until the other brother gets one as well.

I'm trying really hard not to extrapolate here, but I foresee nothing but doom and destruction as we follow this path to its logical conclusion! At age 1, it's a pacifier. By age 7, they'll want to jump their dirt bikes off a cliff and I'll say, "Oh, I don't know honey, that looks a little dangerous..." but they'll say, "Pleeeeeeeease Mom? Don't ruin our childhoods by making us miss out on this adventure!" And I'll say, "Oh, ok but be careful." And then they'll both wind up in full body casts...

Ok, perhaps that's a bit extreme. But I am concerned about what this pacifier addiction will do for their speech development. How can they learn to talk if they always have something in their mouths? And yes, there are also orthodontic issues to consider, but given their genetics, they're probably going to need braces anyway so I'm not super worried about that. And also our pediatrician told me that there's some evidence that frequent pacifier use leads to more ear infections. Ack! I'm giving them the pacifiers b/c they are upset that they have ear infections! So then they get a new ear infection? Vicious cycle!!

On the Verge of Enjoying

I had a book called "Your Baby's First Year" that alerted me to all the developmental events taking place in my kids' brains. But the AAP hasn't yet published the "Second Year" edition, so now I'm on my own trying to figure out what these little people are up to. (I'm doing my best not to Google every little thing these days...)

My latest observation: I think the boys are starting to enjoy life more. Sure, before they had things they liked, such as eating, crawling, and waving rattles. But now they are starting to show preferences for what actually makes them happy. It's fun to watch them discover life! And whenever we can figure out an event/activity that combines a lot of their "likes," so much the better :)

So far, they have fairly similar interests. I'm sure we'll see different personalities continue to emerge, but for the most part now they are being twins, ha ha.

Popsicles. Maybe this is a summer thing? We've been to 3 outdoor events in the last week where Mempops had a booth, and the boys were definitely happy to slurp on little bites of frozen deliciousness. We also have a daily afternoon popsicle snack at home. This started when Baby A (Gus) went on a bottle-drinking strike and I was trying to keep him hydrated.

Animals. They love to look at animals in real life, on TV, and in books. They are good at making animal sounds, including "meow," "woof," and I've even heard a "moo" or two. They get excited if we're out on a walk in the neighborhood and they hear a dog barking - we have to stop and look at it for awhile.

Music. I had NPR on in the car the other day when they started playing opera. I was going to change the station, but then I heard Baby B (Gibson) singing along in the back seat. Laaaaaa! Sometimes when I'm singing a song, they'll make some "la" noises, too. We have this musical turtle that I'm attempting to use to teach them about chords...

Other kids. They are really interested in what other kids are doing. They like to watch them run around. If another kid is crying, like in a store, they seem worried and look at me like, "Mom, aren't you going to help that kid?"

Playing with trucks. We got them some toy trucks that they are totally obsessed with. They make a "vrroom" noise and walk/crawl up and down the hallway over and over. Lately they've started picking up other little toys to carry in the truck's bucket. The other day, I took the boys to this dinner event at church and brought their trucks along. They had a BLAST roaming all over the wide open space of the fellowship hall + foyer. DF also had a blast, I'm sure, chasing them around so I could eat :)

If this trend continues, I see many more fun weekends in our future! Up till now, we've basically been asking ourselves, "What can the boys tolerate?" But maybe soon the question will be, "What would they like to do?"