A Day in the Life, Year 4

Once again, it's my annual post where I record everything I do during in one day.Yesterday was just a regular day over here, so please enjoy my detailed notes!

(Previous years available here: 2018, 2017, 2016)

Location: Pasadena, CA
Date: January 11, 2019
Gus and Gibson are three and a half

6:40am Das Fenster's alarm wakes me up, but I try to go back to sleep

7:05am DF leaves for work. The kids are still asleep. We had a late night last night at choir practice. I think about how I should get up and do things, but it's so cold and my bed is so warm. Around 7:15, I grab my phone and lay in bed looking at Facebook and Instagram.

7:45am Gibson comes to climb in my bed. He says he had a dream about pink balloons. He pretends to be a hug machine but turns into a zapper. 5-10 minutes later, Gus wakes up and joins us. A brief turf battle ensues, as usual. They settle in on each side of me. Gus says he had a dream about me driving a monster truck. Gibson says he was riding on top of my truck and he was a transforming robot. Then they pretend to be Mario and a mole, or a bunny, who was stuck in a hole by a witch and ninjalinos (from PJ Masks).

8:10am Roll out of bed. Potty stop, then they ask to play Kindles. I tell them they aren't charged, so the kids play trains instead. When I find the Kindles and plug them in, they are actually at 70% battery. I don't mention this fact... They sing to themselves as they play, which is a regular occurrence. They play a version of Blokus called "puzzle game" - we made it up yesterday.

8:30am I make coffee and am gone from playroom for 3 minutes before Blokus fight breaks out. Then we have a poop situation to deal with.

8:45am I quickly change out of my pajamas because a person is supposed to come by btwn 9-10 to give us a quote for pruning our grapefruit tree.

8:55am Boys eat pancakes while watching Super Why. I have instituted a 2 hour daily limit for TV/Kindle time. We have a 1 hour sand timer on the entertainment center that I use to track how much they've watched.

9:00am Realize I have no bread or bagels in the house and barely any soy milk. I make instant oatmeal for breakfast. Must go to store today! It's an adjustment not having the kids in preschool anymore. They stopped going at the end of 2018, so I was used to having two mornings a week free for errands and etc.

9:20am Boys are still asking for Kindles. I explain that the TV timer will keep running and it's all part of the 2 hour limit. They say ok.

9:45am The "Boo" characters on their Kindle game need a nap, so we turn off screens. Gus wants coffee (mostly milk, splash of coffee). Still waiting for tree person to arrive. We read a library book about Star Wars featuring Legos.

9:55am Now they want to play Legos.

10:00am Tree lady says the grapefruit tree is in pretty good shape overall and should be pruned every 4 years or so to remove dead and crossed branches. She also mentions that if we give the grass in the back yard a good rake and fertilize in March, we'll have a nice lawn for the summer.

10:17am The boys are happily playing with Legos. I tell them I'm going to take the fastest shower ever and will be right back.

10:21am I get out of the shower and hear a total scream fest going on.

10:40am We've sort of recovered from the big feelings. They're rolling around on the floor under blankets. I am not able to figure out exactly what happened, but I do gather there was a slobber-related problem.

10:45am Almond snack

10:50am Start getting ready to go to Aldi (grocery store)

11:02am Out the door, thanks to a cookie bribe

11:50am Home with only a few extra items that weren't on the list. How can we resist chocolate coins for only 99 cents?

12:03pm Kids are watching Blippi and eating peanut butter sandwiches. They wash their hands with only minimal drama when I had them get the step stool out by themselves. They are really into being independent lately, especially Gus. I make my own lunch by dumping all the leftovers in a bowl with salsa and avocado. Drinking lime seltzer, my latest obsession.

12:23pm I discover half a cup of cold coffee from this morning. Mix it with vanilla soy milk. Yum! Start a load of laundry. Take out trash. Put away rest of groceries. Tidy up and sweep entry way. Unload dishwasher.

12:42pm Gibson hops into kitchen pretending to be a frog. I tell them they've watched enough TV for now. We play block tanks. (Build tanks out of blocks, say boom boom boom a lot)

1:25pm Transfer laundry to dryer. Read the kids a story. Play Blokus and Taboo. (You play Taboo with three year olds by using all the "taboo" words to explain the clue, FYI.)

1:50pm Yogurt snack. We got a 32oz tub of vanilla Greek yogurt at Aldi for $0.25 because it was only 2 days from its sell-by date. Score! I explain how yogurt is made, per their request. Gus says I can only eat vegan cheese yogurt. (They're a little confused about dairy-free)

2:05pm Snack done. Whoa, they barely made a mess with the yogurt! That's a first! Now play cat/dinosaur/transforming car/tackling.

2:12pm Gus asks me to take off his socks, which he is only capable of doing when I don't want his socks being removed. I eat a vegan ranch crunchy pea snack I found at Grocery Outlet.

2:20pm Text Auntie Hipster about making slime when she's babysitting for some friends tomorrow. This inspires me to order a gallon of glue off Amazon for only $12 so we can make more slime here. Gus tells me he want to grow up and get really tiny so he can go into electrical outlets and get zapped.

2:30pm Explain to kids that I need to go to CVS to get contact solution. Tell them we are only getting contacts solution. We are not getting toys or candy. Ask them if they understand, and if they still want to go to CVS. Gibson asks if he can pet the toys. I say yes. They agree we should all go, and they'll ride their balance bikes. It's about 2 blocks away.

2:55pm Finally leave CVS after resisting a lot of begging and pleading for toys and candy. While we are there, we see a friend we know from a local moms group.

3:00pm Arrive at park. It's just a block away. We love our bikeable neighborhood! I've had to learn to talk to Gus and Gibson before we embark about whose turn it is to ride in front because apparently that is a very big deal! They generally do ok as long as we talk about it first. Otherwise it's a crashing, brawling free-for-all for the lead.

At the park, they ride their bikes a lot, go on swings, open a pretend restaurant where they get cooked into a pie by Mr. McGregor, and generally run around. They chase some kids who are using these electronic rolling skateboards until one of the riders informs me, "if they crash into me, this thing will catch on fire!" While I doubt the accuracy of her combustibility gauge, I tell my boys to back off anyway. Some friends from church happen to be at the park too, and all our kids have fun together. I also see another mom I know from another parent class. I feel so connected! At one point, Gibson says, "I want to pee on you," which means he needs to use the bathroom. Really trying to get him to stop saying that...

4:40pm Get home. Give the kids a cantaloupe snack.

5:00pm Use up the last of their allotted TV time to watch Fireman Sam while I make dinner. We're having spaghetti.

5:26pm DF gets home. Gus screams for awhile. Transitions are rough for him.

5:40pm Dinner time. They both ask me to feed them, but Gibson takes over and feeds himself eventually.

6:00pm Dinner is done. DF plays with the kids while I clean up the kitchen. They play Wii. So far I have kept video games separate from the TV timer because it's more of a bonding/fun thing they do with their dad. If I start worrying about their brain development, maybe I'll dial it back.

6:25pm Kitchen is mostly clean. I even wash my cast iron skillet - usually procrastinate on that task. Take Lexapro (anti-anxiety/anti-depressant). I've been on it for a month and I feel like it's helping me handle life better. I research grant opportunities for an early childhood education program that we attend, because I've now been recruited to be on their board.

6:50pm Start bath time. Neither kid wants to take the first bath, so their squirt toys go first. Gus and Gibson both choose second bath. They eventually get in the tub after protesting about the water temperature (too hot for one, too cold for the other). It is the longest bath ever because they both need a poop break in the middle. Hey, I'm glad they tell me so I can get them on the potty. But then they want privacy but I don't want to leave the other kid alone, so I pull the shower curtain around the outside of the tub and stand behind it, looking at the tub rather than the toilet. Oh, motherhood...

7:50pm Give them bedtime snacks and drinks. They're playing pretend with DF. They are baby moles. Then it becomes Mario, Bowser, and a poison swamp. I join in as Mommy Bowser.

8:15pm Start heading towards bed. Bedtime routine involves pajamas, brush teeth, story, song, hug & kiss, one last drink of water, and a Goldilocks story told by mom when they are tucked in bed. I let them each pick one element of the story. Gus usually says Goldilocks drives a wolf house that transforms into something. Tonight it is a bumper car with guns. Gibson says there should be lots of cupcakes and the bears drive a boomer cannon. So I tell a story about how the bears shoot cupcakes out of their cannons and Goldilocks shoots frosting out of her squirt guns and they make a huge tower of cupcakes as tall as a giant.

8:49pm Bedroom door closed. Goodnight #1

8:50pm "Mommy, my head is too hot." "My legs are too cold." "I'm scared of shadows."

8:52pm "Mommy, my head too hot again!" (I flip his pillow over)

8:53pm Gibson runs out to tell me, "I love you so much," then tells me I look like a cat with so much fur when I put him back in bed (because I've taken down my pony tail). Gus wants his pillow flipped again. I try for the 100th time to show him how to do it by himself.

8:56pm Gus needs to go potty. Meanwhile, I've been trying to get my phone to retrieve texts and wind up restarting it. My phone is kind of sad. We need to find out if another carrier has better service in our neighborhood and maybe switch + phone upgrade.

9:00pm I take a chance and get some coconut ice cream out of the freezer.

9:02pm D'oh! Hide the ice cream! Gibson emerges asking to be re-tucked in. That kid can't stay in one spot in his bed, awake or asleep. I tell him to close his eyes and think about something happy to help him sleep. He's going to think about Batman, Spiderman, Hulk, and "different characters."

9:05pm Gus calls me in to ask questions about Paw Patrol. I review the bedtime checklist with them. I emphasize that we did everything on this list, so now it's their job to close their eyes, be quiet, and think about sleepy things. "I'm not coming in here anymore," I declare. I sit on the couch right outside their room and scroll Facebook/Instagram.

9:15pm I haven't heard any more peeps out of them! DF and I watch an episode of Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I read a few chapters of In the Distance by Hernán Díaz, which is the 2019 One City, One Story selection for Pasadena Public Library.

10:30pm Take my vitamin and get ready for bed. Move laundry aside. I'll fold it tomorrow...maybe. Make sure boys are covered up and find Gus "Mr. My head too hot" with a blanket under his head! Play a fish game and a word game for a bit on my Kindle before calling it a night.

And that's another day in the life of a stay-at-home mom with twins!

All They Want for Christmas

I asked my kids to make a Christmas list, because some relatives requested one in preparation for Black Friday shopping. It's pretty entertaining...I did my best to transcribe with only minor notes for clarity. Whoever is shopping for them is going to have to dig deep on Amazon!

• Big candy wolf that eats candy wrappers
• Big blue Jeep (power wheels) that I can turn on by myself with that yellow thing (no yellow thing for Gus)
• Legos - pumpkin ones, says Gibson. (Not Duplos. We're going straight to Legos.)
• Toys for the bathtub with a hole in it to slurp up water and squirt it out
• Hot wheels cars, tracks, garages
• Wooden trains for train table (Gus wants glass trains…)
• Doggies, especially scary Halloween dog that jumps out at you
• Pajamas: Santa with a fuzzy beard, witch, or vampire bat theme
• Vampire bat craft supplies
• Playdoh cupcake machiner with pink dough that squirts out with strawberry and cherry wrappers
• Scooters, the 3 wheel kind. (Technically Gus wants a skateboard but I'm vetoing that request)
• Magical Santa sleigh that flies in the sky with a water dragon for Gibson and a fire dragon for Gus and toys and presents
• Clothes: They got upset when I suggested they ask for clothes for Christmas and said “No! Only toys!” 
• Favorite colors as of 11/7 
• Gibson: pink, green, rainbow 
• Gus: orange, green, white, pink, black (I am not sure he actually likes white)
• Both like camouflage

Carrying Your Own Backpack

I thought the kids might have a hard time adjusting to preschool. I didn't know it would be so rough for me! I hadn't considered how much they had changed in the last year since they used to go to Mother's Day Out. At age three, they now understand a lot more of what's going on, have more words to communicate their feelings, and are physically stronger and able to resist my attempts at...uh...guidance.

Drop off had been ok - sure, some tears, some grabbing at my shirt sleeves, but it was over quickly. Pickup, however, was getting progressively worse. They would both see me coming in the room and start up with all sorts of antics - climbing the cubby wall, insisting on taking home their spare clothes, refusing to pick up their belongings, and throwing themselves on the floor to have a screaming fit. Then we'd move outside to the courtyard where they would continue to cry and flail while berating me for their unacceptable snack choices.

Things were getting out of hand.

In my opinion, they were showing me that school was emotionally exhausting. Once they saw me, their safe space, their ability to hold it together melted and they came unglued. I was starting to worry that we'd made the wrong choice to enroll them in preschool at all. But then I considered that two mornings a week is pretty low-key compared to five full days of kindergarten. How would they ever survive in kindergarten if they couldn't hack it in preschool??

I contacted the school to ask for advice. Unfortunately, the advice wasn't very useful. The director, bless her heart, said that if a child is upset and crying after school, I should just pick him up and walk to the parking lot. I did my best to hold my eyeballs still in their sockets instead of giving her a HARD CORE EYE ROLL in response. "Oh yes, your suggestion would be so helpful except for the issue that I am dealing with two screaming children who weigh about 30 pounds each! And, may I add, they prefer to roll on the ground instead of sit in their stroller. Any other bright ideas??"

What I did gather from this meeting was the teacher's expectation: at the end of the day, all students should pick up their own backpacks from their cubbies and walk out the classroom door on their own two feet.

I considered this expectation. I found it to be reasonable for a three year old. And yet, I also knew it would be hard. What is a parent to do?

I'll tell you what not to do: hope your kid just gets it. That approach didn't work. Well, it did for Gibson, but Gus totally lost it and was a hysterical mess the first time I didn't come into the classroom to carry him out. He was so distraught that I almost marched right over to the school office to dis-enroll him. Then I remembered that you have to give a month's notice that you're leaving to get a tuition refund. So I decided to come up with another plan.

Plan #2: practice, talking, and Daniel Tiger

Daniel Tiger says, "If something seems hard to do, try it a little bit at a time." So, I told Gus what his teacher wanted him to do and broke the task into small steps.

1. Go to your cubby
2. Pick up your backpack and other things
3. Walk out the door

Then, we practiced. We have a shelf in our playroom that looks like their cubbies. I put his backpack in a slot, then had a stuffed animal teacher tell him that school was over. I waited right outside the playroom door for him to get his bag and come to me. When he did it, we celebrated. Then we practiced again and again. (Teaching responsibility and mastery)

Finally, the night before they next day of school, I asked him if he could tell me why it was so hard for him to carry his things. He told me that he had too much stuff - he could not carry his backpack AND his jacket. It was overwhelming.

The lightbulb moment!

"I can help you!" I replied joyfully. "I can carry your jacket! In fact, if you have a jacket, I can take it back to the van when I drop you off so you won't have to worry about it at the end of the day. I'm so glad you told me what was hard for you." I feel like one of those bloggers who makes a huge deal out of mundane moments, but people, it really was a breakthrough. He felt like he literally had a burden that was too heavy for him to bear alone. He was able to explain his problem to someone who could help. I had the capacity to assist, and I was happy to do it.

Isn't that what we all need sometimes? Just another person to come alongside us and help carry a little bit of the weight? He didn't ask me to haul his backpack or pick him up - he just needed to reduce his load.

(Now as an aside, if he wasn't such a Californian who needed a jacket to be outside for five minutes when it's in the low 60s...)

After all our practicing and talking, the next day after school Gus was the first kid out the door - with his backpack in hand. He announced proudly, "Me walk out door by myself!" In that moment, I knew he was building his self confidence by doing hard things. I was proud of both of us, me for sticking with it and giving him tools to be successful, and him for using those tools to overcome a challenge.

As I write this, the kids are at school. I have to pick them up soon. Even if he has a hard time today, I am choosing to remember this small victory from last week. And we'll remind ourselves, like Daniel Tiger says, "Keep trying - you'll get better."

That Twin Life

The kids have been sick lately so I've been spending more one-on-one time with them with various medical appointments. It got me to thinking about how different a twin's life is than a singleton.

Never being an only child/Always having a sibling
We've all heard tales of (or lived through) the rough adjustment period on kid #1 when kid #2 shows up. With twins, you don't have to deal with that issue! In fact as babies, Gus and Gibson became experts at sleeping through each other's crying since they shared a room.

As parents, we have no idea what it would be like to have an only child, or even multiple kids of different ages. When I took Gus to the park by himself a couple days ago, it felt so strange not to keep scanning the playground for another kid! In fact I was able to carry on a whole conversation with another parent. Bizarro-world!

It's sweet to see their brotherly friendship develop, though. They really do enjoy playing together. When Gus was sick and Gibson had to go to school by himself, I could tell they both really missed each other. Fortunately everyone is healthy again and back in the classroom together.

Can't always have your way
Now obviously this is a situation all kids face at some point, but with twins it seems magnified. You wanted to wear the Batman shirt? Sorry, your brother already put it on. You like riding first down the sidewalk? Sorry, your brother is a faster bike rider than you but also only 3 years old and still learning about empathy and impulse control.

There's hardly ever a time when they are by themselves and get to make their own choices without influence from the other. And when we try to do one-on-one activities like the park trip I just mentioned, well, that resulted in a sobbing Gibson who actually changed his mind about going along a minute after Gus and I left the house.

For parents: no second chances
Your first kid is the guinea pig, right? You work out the kinks and then with subsequent little ones, you've got a better handle on this parenting gig. Or at least that's what I hear. But with twins, you are basically dealing with two guinea pigs. You try your best times two, and then suddenly that phase is over and a new one is beginning. Past experience may or may not be relevant to the next adventure. This is why I should probably write a book about all my awesome parenting ideas because otherwise who is going to benefit from them?

Overall, I'd say having twins is a wild, enjoyable, exhausting ride!

Settling In to the Nest

We've been in our new house about 6 weeks now, and it's starting to feel like home. We've got most of the boxes unpacked and new furniture to make the rooms functional. Sure, there's still a few random piles of "what do we do with this?" stuff strewn about, but I feel it's an acceptable level of clutter :)

Here are some of my favorite things about living in our house so far, in no particular order:

• Ease of laundry. At the apartment, our dryer vented out into a hallway. (Lame!) So that meant I had to plan my drying cycles for a time of day when I could leave the balcony door open to let out the hot air. But on scorching days I would wind up running the A/C to counteract the dryer, which seemed like a pointless waste of money. It was extra ridiculous that the dryer was near the A/C thermostat so it would cause it to kick on quickly. In the house, however, we have a normal dryer that vents outside. It's by the backdoor so even if it does heat up a little, it's not roasting the whole house.
  
• Back yard. I knew we'd all enjoy having a yard! The boys have managed to play unsupervised for about 5 minutes without major incident Yes, one of them did dunk the other's hair in the water table, but only because "me need wash his dirty hair." Oh, I see...how helpful of you...
  
• Close to park. Yes, our apartment was also close to a park, but by the time you walked all the way to the elevator, went down to the ground floor, crossed the train tracks, crossed the street, and made it over to the playground...well, it was a bit of a production. Now, since the boys are older, we got them balance bikes. It's about a 3 minute walk to the park here! We are struggling with the return trip still. Usually at least one of them has a meltdown and refuses to ride home. But I have hope that things will improve (keep trying, you'll get better).
  
• Separate play room. Being able to toss all the kids' toys in a room and close the door is awesome! And not having toys in their bedroom seems to be more conducive to sleeping.
  
• Dining room table. This hasn't been quite as amazing as I hoped, but it's certainly better than high chairs crammed in the kitchen. Gus is currently refusing to sit in a chair by himself (he wants to sit on someone's lap for meals), which is driving me up the wall. I try to tell myself that he won't always want to sit on my lap. When he's 20 and off living by himself, I'll surely sit at my lonely table and fondly remember the days when I had a squirmy preschooler knocking roasted sweet potatoes off my plate.
  
• Friendly neighbors. After a year of anonymous apartment life, it's a little weird to be in a neighborhood again. So far everyone has been welcoming and friendly. (Not Southern friendly, though. No one brought us any chicken and dumplings yet. That literally happened in Memphis!) But one neighbor did mow our lawn for us when it was turning into a jungle and we hadn't got a lawn mower yet, and another brought us some cookies and gave this kids a wading pool. It was strange, though, to hear one neighbor speak fondly about the former occupants of our house since we only know them as the persnickety sellers who refused to give us any repair credits or concessions...
  
• New amenities. We're just a few minutes from Aldi, a grocery store I grew to love in Memphis. We also have a Food4Less nearby which is a Kroger brand store, so they have all the regular Kroger products at lower prices. Also we are by a gas station that accepts credit cards for the same per/gal cost as Arco where you have to pay cash. The kids are excited that there's a McDonald's with a PlayPlace just a few blocks away.
  
• Windows that open. This house has tons of windows, and we love it! We can get a nice breeze in the mornings and evenings that means we don't have to use our air conditioner as much. Plus it's just nice to be able to see what's going on out in the world. I especially enjoy this view of palm trees from the kitchen window.

Life is good in Pasadena! Stop by and see us if you're in the area. Or heck, plan a trip to the area and stay in our play room/guest room! I promise to pick up all the Legos before you get here :)

Pause, Reflect, Move

I like to take some time to reflect on one place before I leave it. We're gearing up to move into our new house in just about two weeks, so the time is ripe!

Apartment living in Pasadena: Pros

• On-site professional maintenance team that fixes all my problems. From a dripping sink to a malfunctioning A/C unit, help was just an email away. I didn't have to search for the appropriate service tech online, read reviews, get estimates, or pay any bills. It has been awesome and I know I'm going to miss this feature as a homeowner.
  
• Location - in the heart of it all. We are within walking distance of more amenities here than we ever could take advantage of. If our kids were more, hmm, refined in their dining choices, we would have really enjoyed all these restaurants. As it is, we definitely visited all the ones that serve pizza and/or French fries :) It's also been nice to be so centrally located for public transportation, both for DF's commute and for general traveling needs.
  
• Balcony. Although it's kind of annoying to hear the train crossing dining at all hours of the day and night, the kids have LOVED their front-row view of the train tracks. Also, it's relatively bug-free. We never get mosquito bites here. An occasional fly sneaks in the apartment, but that's about it.

Apartment living: Cons

• Fire alarms. Oh my word, the fire alarms. For awhile we had a faulty sensor in our building and the alarm was going off at least once a day. Not cool, people.
  
• Trains. Sometimes the crossing malfunctions and dings for three hours straight. Again, not cool.
  
• The mile-long walk from the garage to apartment door. Ok, it's not a mile but it sure feels like it sometimes, like today when the boys fell asleep in the van and then wanted me to carry them home. I am pumped to have a garage that's right in the backyard in our new place. Maybe 30 feet, door to door. I can totally handle that. And if the kids are asleep, it would be fine to leave one of them snoozing in the vehicle while taking the other one inside. 

Our new house is just about 2 miles away from our current apartment, so we'll still be able to take advantage of everything Pasadena has to offer. Short moves are the best!

Moving Will Solve All My Problems

With our home purchase set to close later this week (God willing/si Dios quiere/inshallah), I'm feeling anxious, reflective, and hopeful. I've moved a lot in life. It tends to stir up a mixture of emotions/perspectives, but one that I've noticed most often is totally misplaced optimism about changes that will result.

Example: When we moved from Seattle to Memphis (in 2013) I was sure that I would break my addiction to Cheetos. Why? I thought that because I'd be working from home, I'd have time to make myself more healthy snacks. LOL! Sure, I had time, but I had no motivation. Actually, I stopped eating Cheetos and all milk products not long after arriving in California last year because my body just wouldn't let me eat dairy anymore. That wasn't my plan, but it's how life turned out.

And now in 2018, I've pretty much convinced myself that as soon as we move from an apartment to house here in Pasadena, our lives are going to completely change for the better. Here are some of my hopes and dreams.

• We are going to have a dining room table where my children will sit and eat their meals. We will all eat together as a family. I will have a weekly menu board and cook/meal plan tasty dinners that all 4 family members will like.
  
• Of course I will no longer be crouching on the floor next to the couch feeding the children bites of peanut butter bagel for breakfast while they watch Octonauts.
  
• I will create an amazingly functional organization system for the new playroom. Our home will no longer be strewn with toys in every corner of every room. My children will pick up their toys. (Confession: I cracked myself up by typing that last sentence!)
  
• My children will play in the backyard with minimal supervision giving me copious amounts of free time to implement all of my above plans. They will explore and get dirty but not seriously injure/maim themselves while doing so.

Realistic expectations? Probably not. But a girl can dream...