Ciao for Now

When I set my original goal of blogging every day in November, I didn't know that the boys would be scheduled for ear tube surgery at the end of the month. Yipes, that's coming up tomorrow morning for all four ears! So this is going to be my final post for NaBloPoMo. Taking care of the kids will occupy my time quite fully the next few days. At least, if surgery proceeds as scheduled. Despite me basically quarantining them since Monday, they both came down with colds yesterday. Gibson was up most of last night for reasons only he knows (I suspect another ear infection).

I hope y'all have enjoyed reading along with my reflections on life this month. I will continue to post from time to time as the fancy strikes!

Motherhood: the Highlights

Another topic suggested by my mother today - she wants to know what I enjoy about motherhood. Why do I suspect she put forth this theme so she can comment on my FB page with everything she enjoys about being a mom/grandma? Ha ha, just kidding...sort of ;)

Frequent readers may have noticed I have an affinity for anxiety. A penchant for paranoia. I wallow in worry. You get the point - at times, it's challenging for me to turn off my whirring, neurotic brain and just be happy in the moment. Plus, being a mom of twins is so intense! Everything is happening x2, so even when one kid is having a good day, the other one might be flailing around on the floor for some unknown reason. But we do have our good moments. I shall try to focus on them!

Having a front-row seat to human development. The last baby I spent a significant amount of time with was my brother who's 13 years younger than me, but he's all grown up now. So yeah, it's been awhile; I'd forgotten a lot of baby stuff since his newborn days. It is kind of amazing how quickly babies grow, develop, and learn new things. I look back at photos/videos/blogs of Gus and Gibson from last year, and wow, they have changed so much! (I'm sorry, I know it's a cliche; I don't know how else to say it...) I mean, they used to need me to do literally everything for them. Now they're feeding themselves, helping pick up their toys, and walking around the house. Lately they've gotten really good at following directions, such as "we need to change your diaper - go to your bedroom." Whoa! How did that happen?? I just said the same things to them over and over, and one day their brains were able to interpret the meaning of the words. Isn't that cool?

I also like to watch them figure stuff out, like how to open/close things, find hidden items, escape from under a chair where they thought they were trapped... You can see the little wheels in their head turning!

Laughter. The boys tend to be pretty happy, overall. They love to laugh, giggle, and squeal with joy. One of my favorites is when they make each other laugh. This will often happen when they're sitting in their high chairs. One twin will do something funny, like tap himself on the head with a cracker. The other one will laugh and follow suit. Then they're both sitting there, smashing crackers in their hair and giggling uproariously. It's pretty cute :)

Hope for the future. This one's a bit more abstract, but especially in the midst of political discontent in the US, I find that my kids provide me with something concrete to focus on. Though I personally have little power to impact national election trends, I have a huge amount of influence on my two little boys. By the way I love and care for them, I can teach them to be kind, think deeply, solve problems, and demonstrate empathy. And I know lots of other parents who want the same for their children. So it gives me hope that positive change is possible, even if it's small and incremental. The revolution begins at home.

Post-Thanksgiving Lull

My brain isn't working today. I didn't get enough sleep last night - I think the boys wanted me to take them Black Friday shopping or something from the way they kept squawking in their cribs. So instead of trying to string sentences together, I tried to take a short video of leaves falling from the tree in our front yard. But now I can't get it to upload, so just imagine yellow leaves falling on top of other leaves already on the grass. Thrilling!! Does it make it more dramatic if I tell you I was holding Gus while filming, because he refused to take a nap this afternoon?

Here's a random picture of leaves in the neighborhood, just so I don't leaf you hanging...

Thanksgiving Dinner

It's my first year to cook a full Thanksgiving dinner! How maternal of me to do it now, ha ha. We're having a cozy family celebration with just the four of us today. I tried to plan a meal the kids could eat. And I'm not making anything too fancy because, well, we aren't that fancy :)

I was hoping the kids would just take one long nap today because that would work best with the original eating and Skyping schedule. But they haven't been interested in doing that for the last couple days, plus my timeline just got pushed back due to turkey troubles. So we shall see what the day holds!

Complications so far:

• 1 finger tip burned when removing pie from oven, even when wearing an oven mitt
• 1 turkey not defrosted on time. I followed the Butterball recommendation of 2.5 days of thawing for a 10lb turkey. Actually, it was in the fridge for almost 3 days, but it was still half-frozen this morning! This turkey is Kroger-brand, not Butterball. Does Kroger freeze their turkeys extra solid or something??

You can check out my meal prep spreadsheet here. I wanted to be sure I remembered everything! As you can see, we like our carbs :) Everything will be dairy-free except for the Stovetop stuffing, made with butter because ewww margarine.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! May your turkeys be tasty and your celebrating be festive.

Southern Humor

This post is a little tricky to write, but I'm going to give it a try. As usual, I'm wary of generalizing my limited observations to the larger population. The examples I cite below were spoken by white men at church who are older than me.

Southerners are funny. I mean that as a compliment :) They like to laugh, joke, and have a good time. It's hard to put a finger on the Southern style of humor exactly. I'd venture to say it often relies on self-deprecation, more so than other places I've lived.

Why, just the other day, I was introduced to a gentleman who was probably in his 70s. We were exchanging pleasantries. I asked if he was originally from Memphis. He replied, "No, but I've lived here so long it melted all my hair off!" (He's bald.) Ha ha! Ok, sort of classic "old man" humor there, but see how he managed to make a joke at his own expense and also incorporate Memphis's hot, humid weather? That seems really Southern to me.

Here's another common punchline: Alabama. As in, the state, and that people from Alabama aren't very smart. There are two styles of joke.

Alabamian speaking: It was a serendipitous meeting. <pause> Serendipitous, did I say that right? You know I'm from Alabama.

-or-

Alabamian speaking: It was a serendipitous meeting. <pause> That's right, I said serendipitous. You didn't think people from Alabama knew any 5 syllable words, did you?

In the first one, it's straight self-deprecation. The second example is more nuanced because the speaker is inserting himself into the listener's internal monologue, imagining s/he holds some stereotypical views about people from Alabama. Either way, they both elicit a chuckle :)

The Election

I've kept quiet about the election results on my blog because I was still processing everything. It was, to put it mildly, a different election than we're used to. So I took some time to ponder, reflect, and read what others were saying. I don't like to stir up controversy; I'm very aware that my readership spans the political spectrum. I write about my opinions today in part to help myself remember later on what I was thinking about in November 2016.

I'm no political scientist. One of the most challenging courses I took in grad school was in the PolSci department. But let me just offer a few observations.

I am scratching my head over the primary nominating process of the major parties that allowed Clinton and Trump to emerge as the nominees. They both had such strong unfavorable ratings. I haven't been voting all that long, but I can't recall another election where both candidates were so...hated.

On the Democratic side, I really think they underestimated the intense, seething disgust that people outside their inner circle felt for Hillary Clinton. I think it was hard for her to win over undecided voters because almost everyone already had a gut-level opinion about her.

For the Republicans, at first I thought Trump was just running as a joke, or to boost his reality TV ratings or something. In a really crowded Republican field, he was able to differentiate himself early on by saying outrageous things. I wonder if people who voted for him in the primary really liked him, or if they just thought it was funny to vote for him. Maybe they wanted to see how far the rabbit hole would go. But I'm still surprised he got the nomination because he's really not much of a Republican.

In hindsight, if you ask me, the Democrats should have nominated Bernie Sanders. I can't tell you how that would have actually happened with the DNC thwarting his campaign behind the scenes, but what the election results show is that people wanted a change, not a 3rd term of Obama. I bet that voters who chose Trump for economic reasons would've been open to considering Sanders as well. Sanders wasn't as well-known before the election, so he would've had a lot lower negative rating to start with. It might have been a more substantive campaign if Sanders were the nominee. Plus, let's be honest, I liked a lot of his policy proposals!

I'm not sure who the Republicans should've nominated. It seems like a lot of Republicans disavowed Trump during the campaign, but now that he won, maybe they are happy to be in control of both chambers of Congress + the White House. I had imagined they would nominate Jeb Bush or someone kind of boring/safe like that. I guess the Republicans knew that the Democrats would nominate Clinton, so they needed to pick someone who could beat her. Oh yeah, Kasich, I forgot about him. He seemed pretty normal. Too bad he was up against bombast and Twitter-speak.

I seriously have a hard time comprehending how the religious right embraced Trump. I was a teenager during the Bill Clinton sex scandal. I recall quite clearly evangelical leaders turning apoplectic at his behavior with Monica Lewinsky. They tossed about terms like "family values," "think of the children," "role model," "disgrace," etc. But now, 20 years later, some of those same people said, oh yeah, I'm totally supporting a thrice-married casino owner who brags about his sexual conquests...what in the heck? Are we living in the Twilight Zone now where wrong is right and up is down and orange is the new black?

As to why Trump beat Clinton, that's already been analyzed to death. I have nothing new to add. I'm disappointed in my country and the collective forces that allowed someone as unqualified as Donald Trump to ascend to the highest office in the land. But I'm not giving in to hand-wringing. Two days after the election, I drove over to the nonprofit where I teach English to refugees and immigrants. We all sat around a table together and practiced pronouncing words with "TH" sounds, like Thursday and thank you. We worked on numbers. We learned "there is one book/there are three pencils." And we did so in an environment of mutual respect and care for each other.

In my own small way, I continue to subvert the dominant paradigm.

Sideways

It's time for more Southern idioms! Try to guess what this one means.

They really got sideways for awhile.

Were these people...?

A) lost
B) disagreeing
C) having sex

The correct answer, based on my observations so far, is B! (I mean, C might could also be applicable, but I'm talking about polite conversation here.)

I can't find any websites to corroborate my interpretation, so I hope it's right. I keep hearing the expression "sideways" used in context of two people who are in conflict about something.

Example: Friend A notices that Friend B has been drinking a lot lately, more than usual, and worries B might be an alcoholic. A tries to talk to B about her concerns. B doesn't want to listen and yells at A to leave her alone. A and B don't have any contact for awhile. Then B acknowledges she has a drinking problem and apologizes to A for the fight. So during that period of time where they weren't speaking to each other, they were "sideways."

Southerners, is my interpretation in the ballpark here?

I can't think of a similar expression in my Northwestern vocabulary; I'd just say something like "we were fighting" or "we weren't speaking to each other." I like sideways because it makes the disagreement sound more poetic :)

17 Months, Part 2

Per my tradition, I thought of more things the kids have been doing that I forgot to include in yesterday's post. Woo hoo, I don't have to think of a new topic today!

Music
They are totally into music these days. They have this Little Einstein piano. I don't remember who gave it to them, but thank you again because they love it! For awhile, they preferred the animal sounds setting, where the piano meows, barks, and quacks. But now they've moved on to the instrument option that plays little snippets of classical songs. They seriously played with the piano all day yesterday! I mean, they'd go off and do other things, but when they came back to the piano, they were still having fun with it. They kind of bounce along/bop their heads with the music :)

We have some empty plastic tubs that they use as drums, which are also a bit hit. And if they're being fussy, we turn on the Toddler Tunes music channel on TV. It's a great distraction tool.

Dancing
Gibson has started spinning in circles, with or without musical accompaniment. I haven't managed to catch it on video yet - I'll keep trying. They both like if we hold them and dance around (waltz!), and they also bounce and clap on their own.

Language Comprehension
I am always surprised when they first demonstrate that they can understand something I've said. I feel like they are my little English students. I'm so happy for them when the comprehension clicks. Just the other day, we were going to put on our shoes before going outside. I told Gus, "sit down," and he sat right down on the floor! I was like, no way, you understood me!!!

In the mornings after they get up, I don't rush them out for breakfast right away. My stomach needs some time to wake up, so I figure theirs do, too. Once they start acting a little grouchy, I say, "Are you hungry? Do you want some breakfast?" They say, "ah ah!" and walk out to the dining room! Well, usually one of them makes it while the other gets distracted by a toy along the way. We're definitely making progress.

17 Months

It is my motherly prerogative to keep noting my children's monthly milestones even if they're getting kind of old to have their age measured in months :)

Gus and Gibson are becoming toddlers before our eyes! Here's what they are up to these days.

Physical
-They walk almost all the time now. They only crawl when they're trying to get underneath something low, like the dining room chairs or high chairs.
-If they get really excited, they run a little bit. It's not real running yet, more like a trot.
-I've never really seen them walk backwards so I can't say for sure if they know how to do that.
-They're good at squatting and working on climbing. Gibson almost climbed up on the couch yesterday. Bravo, but eeek! They have no fear and try to fling themselves headfirst off the couch once we put them up there...

Eating
-We've been trying to remember to give them utensils more often during meal times, and I can already tell they are improving. Both of them can stab food with a fork. Sometimes it gets to their mouths. Spoons are trickier. I don't like to give them spoons because invariably they stick them too far into their mouths and start gagging. Gross! But, they've got to learn, so we keep trying.
-I should probably let them try more foods, even though they don't have a lot of teeth. One of them grabbed a thin apple slice at a party last week and wolfed it down easily. I didn't know they could eat apples!
-Gus got a new tooth, bringing his total up to 7. Gibson is still at 6.

Sleeping
-We're in a slow transition from two daily naps to one.

(I'm proud of myself that I can say that without panicking! Last year at this time, I was really stressed about how much they were sleeping, how long they went between naps, sleeping through the night, and all that. The phrase "nap transition" sent my anxiety spiking. But now that we've been through a couple other transitions, I've figured out that it will work itself out eventually. Progress!)

-On days when they have a morning activity, like Mother's Day Out, a doctor's appointment, or going to the nursery at church, they usually just take one nap in the afternoon. If we're home in the morning, boring ol' mom is not stimulating enough to keep them awake (and Mom doesn't like to listen to screaming), so they will take a short AM and longer PM nap.

-They go to bed anywhere between 7:30-9pm depending on how much they napped during the day and get up around 7:30am.

Health
-Holy ear infections, Batman! These kids have started getting ear infections every time they have a cold. And they get a cold about twice a month. I attribute some of their above sleepiness to their immune systems working so hard all the time. They're both going to have surgery at the end of the month to get ear tubes. Hopefully the tubes will work as well as everyone says they do and we'll have two healthier kiddos on our hands this winter.

Who Are My People?

As someone who's moved around a bit, at times I wonder where I fit in. When I lived in Seattle, I didn't feel outdoorsy enough. In DC, I could never keep up will all the current events. And in Memphis, well, I often feel like a fish out of water.

What I need, I suppose, is a strong sense of self; I've got to find confidence in my own identity. At times, my desire to experience and understand other cultures makes me a sponge. An observant, analytical sponge, but an amorphous floaty blob nonetheless.

So I've been pondering this question: who are my people? Let me caveat this post by saying I'm not some kind of hermit - I like people! Old friends, new friends, bring 'em on. I can hang out with just about anyone. What I'm considering today is the type of people who I'm energized by spending time with, regardless of geography.

• People who like to laugh and don't take things too seriously. Life's too short to sit around scowling or worrying! I've got a sarcastic streak (if you hadn't noticed), and humor is my preferred coping mechanism when life gets tough.
  
• People who've experienced more than one cultural context, so they acknowledge and appreciate multiple viewpoints. I especially like hanging out with immigrants or international students/visitors, though I know plenty of born and bred Americans who fit this category as well.
  
• Word people. People who care about language, grammar, and expressing themselves effectively. Writers. I personally express myself better in writing, but it would be awkward to sit around a table with a bunch of friends, reading each other's blogs instead of talking. So I try to string sentences together and speak them as well :)

And then, you can't go wrong quoting St. Francis, right? <Spoiler alert for Sunday's choir anthem!> I like talking with people of different religions and learning about their perspective. As a Christian, I find this poem especially resonant, but I think it can speak to others as well.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; it is in dying that we are born again to eternal life.

Fashion Sense

I've never been what you'd call a fashion icon. In previous years, I tried to look presentable and semi-hip when going out in public, but really, I've never been all that into keeping up with the latest styles. My biggest devotion to a trend probably happened in 6th grade when I was really into wearing two different colors of slouch socks to coordinate with my outfit. And when I worked in DC, I did my best to dress professionally, which to me meant shopping at Banana Republic, Ann Taylor/LOFT, and their outlet stores.

As for my children, well, they aren't going to learn an amazing sense of style from their parents. So far their wardrobe consists of whatever people have been kind enough to buy us or give as hand-me-downs. And I have absolutely no problem with this! They used to grow out of their clothes in a couple months. Their growth rate has slowed a bit now, but they still aren't going to get more than about 6 months out of any item of clothing. So really, if Grandma wants to buy up the clearance rack at Kohl's and send it our way, we are more than happy to dress the kids in whatever shows up on our doorstep!

Here's how I decide what the boys should wear:

• Is it weather appropriate?
• Is it appropriate to the occasion/location/function?
• Does it look reasonably non-girl-ish? (I'm fine with gender neutral)
• Is it free from giant holes and disgusting stains? (small holes and minor stains are fine)
• Is it different from what brother is wearing? (I don't like to dress them identically, because I confuse myself) 

Pretty low bar, you see :)

A few months ago, DF and I started volunteering in the church nursery with kids slightly older than ours. It's given me a whole new window into children's fashion in the South. One Sunday, we had four boys in class, and all four of them were wearing the same sandals. How did their parents all coordinate that? Saltwater sandals must be the Southern way. The boys and girls in our class always look so...fancy. It's the only word I can come up with. They're always wearing something monogrammed with their initials, or smocked, or with a frilly collar, etc. Meanwhile, my kids are sporting khaki shorts and polo shirts, because those are their nice clothes.

I'm glad I have boys. If my twins were girls, I think I'd feel more pressure to dress them stylishly, just because of gender stereotypes. Or knowing my luck, I'd have wound up with two girls who were obsessed with fashion! So far, the boys haven't exhibited any particular style preference. They think it's fun to wear socks and shoes and also to dump all their clean clothes on the floor to play peek-a-boo with them. Ok, I can handle that.

Assimilation or Cultural Appropriation?

Living in the South is tricky sometimes. It's obvious to most people I meet that I'm not from here as soon as I've spoken a sentence. I'm not really trying to become a Southerner, yet I find my vocabulary shifting a bit. The allure of y'all is difficult to resist, y'all! Now that I've gotten used to hearing y'all frequently, it sounds so much more polite to me than you guys. I admit to using it in written communication when "you" seems too vague. But I still don't say it all that often because it makes me feel like an imposter.

Exception: when I'm frustrated with my children, I go full-on y'all, such as "y'all need to quiet down and take a nap!" I mean, they're Southerners, right? I'm sure they understand me.

Of late, I've noticed DF picking up a few new expressions. His latest is fixin' to. I think he's trying to teach it to the boys, too - I heard him tell them, "We're fixing to leave, so let's put on your shoes." I admit to rolling my eyes! But then I thought, why should I let it bother me? Am I the cultural assimilation police who decides when a person can and can't adapt? If he wants to speak like a Memphian, it's probably ok. Plus, as he likes to point out, although he grew up in the Midwest, his pastor was from Texas and taught him lots of Southernisms when he was young and impressionable.

But at what point do we start to look like posers? Unless I develop a legit drawl, wear makeup whenever I leave the house, and start hanging burlap craft projects on my front door, no one is going to mistake me for a Southerner anytime soon. If I adopt the dialect of the people without the other cultural norms, it feels inauthentic to me.

Then I thought about another perspective - what about the refugees who are my ESOL students? If one of them said, "I'm fixing to go to the store," I'd be mighty impressed by their excellent grasp of local idioms. (As it is, I'd be happy if some of them could manage "I go store"...) I guess it's because I assume the refugees will live in Memphis for many years, so it's best that they start assimilating sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, my family probably won't stay here long term, so why do I need to incorporate Southern expressions if my Northwestern English is usually understood? Hmm, but even if we moved to a foreign country for only a couple years, I'd definitely try my best to learn that new language. I'm conflicted...

Lunch Date with Sneezy

DF has the week off (thanks, "use or lose" vacation time!) and the boys went to MDO yesterday, so we had another exciting day date. DF stopped at Gibson's donuts on the way home from dropping off the boys, so we were sugared up and ready to go! The day started off with household chores including leaf raking, bathroom scrubbing, and searching for rechargeable batteries + the charger. It continued on with sweeping, mopping, and TV viewing. Oh yes, thrilling stuff folks.

But wait, before you lose interest, there was a tasty lunch! We went to the buffet at Golden India in Overton Square. It was great!

Why, yes indeed, those are lamb meatballs in the picture, how did you ever guess? The meatballs were good, though I have to admit they were not as spectacular as the ones I had at a random Indian restaurant in Bellevue (WA) several years ago. Golden India's fresh naan was super delicious! I love naan. I mean, I love bread/carbs in general, and naan is especially wonderful. 

Over lunch, DF and I discussed if either of us have a favorite "ethnic" food. Is it politically correct to say ethnic food? What I mean is a cuisine specific to a certain country or region. Neither of us could pick. DF said maybe his favorite is American because we have pretty much every type of food here. Fair point! I really like Indian, Middle Eastern like Lebanese, and Ethiopian. If I had to pick one type of food to eat every day, I'd probably go with Caribbean. I never get tired of rice, beans, and plantains! (This was a good thing when I studied abroad in Costa Rica, since I ate rice and beans 2-3 meals a day for the semester.)

I'm sure I could find some food I would enjoy in any culture. One of my favorites is the multitudinous variety of "bread/grain product filled with meat or veggies then fried or steamed" morsels. Think Indian samosas, Argentinian empanadas, Polish pierogis, Japanese gyoza, Ghanaian fufu dumplings, Mexican tamales...ok, I'm getting hungry now :)

One thing that limits my enjoyment of other cuisines, unfortunately, is my sensitive palate. Well, not so much my palate as my nose/mouth combo. (Is that my otorhinolaryngological system?) Big words aside, the issue is that I tend to have sneezing attacks when I eat spicy food. And not just hot-spicy, but also big-flavor-spicy. So yeah, that means after lunch yesterday I went to the restroom and spent 5 minutes coughing, sneezing, and blowing my nose. In my opinion, it's worth the overactive sinus reaction to enjoy flavorful food. But are there any medical professionals in the audience (or informed lay people) who can tell me if that's a problem I should be worried about? It's not a new phenomenon; ever since I started eating more adventurously in college, I've been a sneezer when it comes to spices. In fact, I sometimes do myself in when cooking at home by adding too much pepper to my own dishes!

Coziness

As the weather finally cools down in the mid-South, I'm enjoying this cozy season of the year. It's time to break out our boots, scarves, and puffy vests. I put flannel sheets on the bed, and now I can go to sleep more easily because I'm not cold! When I opened my sweater drawer the other day, I felt like I was saying hello to old friends who I hadn't seen in months.

Oh, and slippers! I almost forgot about my toasty toes. Last year, I received these excellent slippers as a Christmas present (the brand is Haflinger, if you're curious). They are perfect for our house with hardwood floors because they are made of wool (for warmth), plus they have these texturized dots on the bottom to provide traction without being noisy. My previous slippers had plastic (?) soles, so I was always clacking around, and I'd kick them off in the hallway before going in to bedroom to check on sleeping babies.

Summer lasted too long this year, in my opinion. I was tired of being hot and sweaty all the time. Does this love of cold weather make me not a Southerner? Or, does the fact that I feel like 60 degrees is cold mean I have adapted to my current climate?

Hello, fall!

p.s. Stay tuned for March when I start whining with, "Brr, I'm cold! I'm tired of sleeping on flannel sheets! When is spring going to get here??"

iVote

Today, we have a guest post from DF. Well, the idea is his; I'm his ghostwriter.

By way of introduction, DF (my husband) is politically moderate. He's voted for candidates on both sides of the political spectrum. He's been pondering this idea for most of his life - it did not come about as a reaction to the latest election. And he enjoys playing complex strategy board games in his spare time, so this line of thinking is fun for him.

Without further ado, I present to you Das Fenster's plan to revolutionize American democracy and return the power to the people: iVote.

Preamble:
Our current system of government, a constitutional federal republic, has some issues. Because the people have no direct voice, our wishes are not heard, or they are drowned out by shadowy special interest groups. When our country was created, the founders set up the best system they could at the time. Now, with advances in communications and technology, it's time to reboot our system to better serve our needs in the 21st century and beyond. We need more transparency and less obfuscation.

In order to make these changes, we'll have to amend the constitution a few times.

Note that the below plan only applies to the federal government. Each state can still choose its own system whether it wants to retain a traditional legislative branch, start its own iVote, or something else.

Step 1 (this is the most difficult hurdle to cross):
Disband congress as we know it. Some legislators are retained to create/promote/oversee the new iVote system, and write legislation. They no longer represent a specific geographical area, however. The people will vote for their preferred political party (there will be several to choose from), and legislative positions will be apportioned according to the percentage of votes each party receives. In this way, it's sort of like a parliamentary system.

We'll still have a president who is elected directly by the people. The president retains all the powers enumerated in the constitution including overseeing the cabinet. S/he can veto laws that are passed by iVote. (The people can overrule a presidential veto with a 2/3 majority vote.)

Step 2:
Create an electronic voting system for all citizens called iVote

iVote will be highly secure, built to withstand all forms of cyber attack/hacking, and prevent voter fraud. To set up an initial account, you must prove your identity with some type of verifiable record, like a birth certificate or driver's license. The system will also check death records also to make sure the person registering is a real, living person. Each voter must sign in to the system using biometric data (fingerprint or eye scan) to prevent impersonation. As technology improves, so will the security measures. We might need to record the IP addresses of where votes are coming from to make sure we aren't being hacked by foreign entities.

At all stages of the process, accommodations will be provided for low-income people, those who are home-bound, or others who might not have access to official documentation and/or the internet. Possible solutions include community voting centers at libraries, in-person voter registration offices where staff can look up birth certificate information if you don't have an official copy, and officials who visit people in their homes or other locations. Citizens who are not proficient in English will also have materials available to them in their dominant language.

Step 3:
Citizens submit petitions online for laws they think should be implemented. All the other citizens can go on to read the proposals and click "like" for the ones they want to move forward. The system records when you "like" something so you can only vote once, but the site doesn't actually publish your name a la Facebook.

Once a petition has received a like from 25% of citizens, it proceeds to a judicial review committee to make sure it's constitutional. If it passes that check, it will be voted on.

Step 4:
Voting

Voting happens once a month, from the 1st through the last day. All the petitions from the previous month that met the 25% threshold and were deemed constitutional are open to be voted on.

Now this part is really exciting - people can be paid to vote! There's an option on the vote screen for "Yes," "No," and "Paid Vote." You can click over to see who's offering payment, how much, and for which vote. Only U.S. citizens, U.S. institutions, or U.S.-based corporations can pay for votes. This system will help increase voter turnout and provide more transparency in campaign finance. The income earned from voting is taxable, just like any other income.

Another major reform is that political advertising will be severely restricted. There will only be one platform for political news (TV/radio/satellite/internet), and this is the only place that PACs, political parties, and other entities can advertise. The content on this platform will be submitted by the petition writers, then verified by fact checkers before being published/broadcast. Each party will also be allowed space on this platform to put forth their official positions. As noted above, the party system can become much more robust under iVote - there will be a lot more options than just Republican/Democrat.

Step 5:
How petitions pass/fail

A minimum voter turnout of 50% is required for any initiative to be adopted. If turnout is below 50%, the status quo will be maintained.

Certain types of elections will require a higher turnout, such as constitutional amendments which would need at least 75% voter turnout.

We aren't quite sure how to pass a federal budget under this system. It would probably require a budget committee (or a new Department of the Budget) hashing out the numbers in advance with all the various federal departments and agencies. Then citizens can just vote yes or no for the whole thing, similar to the omnibus spending bill that congress approves now. When you're voting, you'll be able to see the previous budget, proposed new budget, and an explanation for any increase or decrease. A good thing with iVote is that even if we don't have 50% voter turnout or the budget bill doesn't pass, the government would not shut down. Everyone would keep operating at the previous fiscal year's budget level until a new budget can be approved. (Continuing resolution by default)

Additional Notes:
Accommodations will be made in the system for any citizens who will be away from a secure internet connection for an extended period of time (e.g. serving in the Peace Corps in a remote area), so that they can still vote in monthly elections if they desire.

The president can send out an "URGENT!" call for a vote within 24 hours on truly pressing matters, like an authorization to declare war. Everyone will get an alert via iVote, similar to how our phones buzz now with severe weather warnings.

Flying in a Hot Air Balloon

One of the coolest experiences of my life so far was flying over Arches National Park in a hot air balloon. It was three years ago when DF and I were on our way moving to Memphis. We'd packed a moving truck with all our earthly possessions and set out from Seattle in search of adventure. Before we left, we decided that we'd spring for a hot air balloon trip along the way because it's something I always wanted to do. (DF thought it would be cool too, though it wasn't on his "bucket list.")

We only had our moving truck for transportation - we'd sold our car before departing Seattle. So early on the morning of the flight, we chugged up the hill from Moab, UT to the meeting location just outside of town. It was a clear, chilly May day as we boarded the bus with our fellow fliers to bounce down a rocky road to the launch site.

The whole experience was breathtaking and beautiful. I'm not scared of heights, and the basket felt really stable, so I just relaxed and enjoyed the view. There's no better way to appreciate those amazing rock formations than flying over them, in my opinion!

I mean, let's be realistic, I'm never going to hike into terrain that remote and difficult to traverse :)

If you ever have the opportunity to fly in a hot air balloon, do it! I highly recommend it, especially if the the flight path goes over somewhere you wouldn't be able to experience otherwise.

The Unity of Service

On this Veterans' Day, I'm especially thankful for the service of all the members of our armed forces. When they join the ranks, they come from all walks of life - a diversity of races, ethnic backgrounds, ages, geographic roots, genders, religions, political persuasions, and life experiences. Then, they all work together to form a cohesive group to accomplish a mission that is larger than themselves.

Thank you, veterans! May your dedication and service to others be an example to us all.

The Skill Set of a Twin Wrangler

Another reader-suggested post today: Reflections on transitioning from a professional who flew around the US and had a very full schedule. How have the skills of your profession helped you in your twin wrangling profession?

(Yes, the "reader" mentioned above is my mother. My biggest fan, ha ha :) )

Raising twins is a challenging profession. It's not like I filled out an application, had an interview, and HR said, "You are just what we're looking for. Here are your twins!" Ha ha! No. Apparently, God thought that DF and I were up to the task, and so here we are. The phrase baptism by fire comes to mind at times.

But yes, Mom, you make a good point. I did develop some skills in my previous jobs that I've been able to apply to motherhood x2.

Coping with Stress
I've dealt with my fair share of job-related stress through the years, whether it was dissatisfied customers whose coffee order hadn't arrived on time, or a host parent who couldn't get their exchange student to follow their household rules. In those stressful times, I found that often what the other party wanted was for me to listen to their problem, empathize with them, and then take whatever steps I could to fix it. I try to do the same with my kids. For instance, maybe they trip over a toy, fall, and bonk their head. I give them a hug while they cry, say, "Ouch! It hurt when you fell on your truck," then give them a softer toy to hold with until they're ready to hop up and run around again.

At work, I also had to learn not to internalize the stress from others. I had a coworker once who was fond of saying she had to "empty her emotional bucket." This means that you have to find ways to de-stress yourself regularly so that you don't overflow and dump your emotions all over someone who really wasn't prepared for it. Now, I certainly did not perfect this approach on the job, but I tried some techniques like not checking email outside of work hours except in extreme circumstances. That way I had time to mentally refresh before going back into the office. It's a little trickier as a mom since my hours aren't exactly, shall we say, confined to a certain window. But I will say that I feel better on the days when I spend the boys' nap time losing myself in a good book instead of frittering away the hour(s) on Facebook.

Juggling Multiple Priorities
I suppose nearly every job has days/seasons where there's too much to do and not enough time to do it. In those periods, I learned how to take a step back and assess which tasks needed to take priority. Sometimes it was obvious, like in a job with a daily time deadline for a certain task to be completed. In other cases, I had to consider multiple factors, like who would be impacted by a delay, my working relationships with those people, and if there was a way I could share some of my workload with others.

Now, consider my SAHM life. My top priorities are making sure my children are safe, fed, clothed, well-rested, and having their emotional needs met. (I was going to say "happy" for that last point, but I realized that's an unrealistic goal.) Anything that doesn't contribute to those priorities tends to take a back burner.

But what if the twins themselves are giving me two different priorities simultaneously? Well, that's a tricky one. I've had to get creative. I remember awhile back when the boys were sick, particularly Gus. It was meal time, but he didn't want to eat. He was too upset. Gibson was hungry, though, and getting mad because I wasn't feeding him. Solution? Grab the Ergo carrier, strap Gus in (meeting emotional need for safety/connection), then I've got my hands free to feed Gibson (meeting need of hunger).

Functioning on Little Sleep
Back when I was working, sometimes I had to keep on being a professional even when I was tired, like when I was crossing time zones in travel and my brain's sleep clock got out of whack. Or, I was in charge of events that went all day, but I still had work to complete in the evenings. Only rarely did I actually get awoken in the middle of the night by an exchange-student-related phone call.

The sleep-deprived life of newborn twins is sooooo much worse than anything I encountered when working. I was such a zombie those first 6 months of motherhood. It made me realize I'm tougher than I thought, however. Pre-kids, if I didn't get a decent night's sleep, the whole next day was shot. I was grouchy, my head hurt, and I had a hard time being productive. With the babies, I had to push on through the exhaustion. I was responsible for their well-being in a way that far exceeded the supervision required to make sure a bunch of foreign teenagers didn't convince the hotel shuttle driver to take them to Walmart without their chaperone's permission. The babies needed me to be alert enough that I wouldn't stick a bottle in their eye or swaddle them upside down. We muddled through that phase of life somehow!

Now that they sleep fairly well, I feel so much more human. And for those times when they have a rough night, I know that I'll be ok the next day. Yes, I'll be tired, but it won't be the bone-rattling exhaustion I've already endured. And maybe I can sneak in a nap while they're sleeping.

Developmental Progress

Yesterday, we received the results we've been waiting more than a year to hear...the boys have overcome their preemie status! (Ha ha, you didn't think I was going to write about the election, did you?)

That's right, at their physical therapy checkup yesterday, both kids demonstrated that they've met nearly all the developmental milestones of 16 month olds, and they don't have to come back for any more assessments. Praise God and hip hip, hooray!

There are just two areas where they're slightly behind the curve: using a spoon, and talking. The spoon/fork delay is mostly my fault because I hardly ever remember to give them silverware during meal times. How can they learn if they don't practice? As for language, they have several "risk factors" for delay, namely being preemies, boys, and twins. They say maybe 6-8 words now. They're supposed to have 20 words by 18-20 months. Last night I think I heard Gus say "cracker," so maybe he's up to 9 words now. He's the more talkative twin.

The things they're doing well include walking, navigating over/around obstacles, throwing a ball, coloring with a crayon, picking up small items like beads, etc. Great job, boys! Onward and upward!

Teen Jeopardy

(My mother requested posts with funny/poignant childhood memories, and that seems like a preferable topic today. No politics here!)

When I was 17, I thought I was pretty smart stuff. I got good grades, was a member of my school's Science Bowl team, and could sometimes get the right answer when watching Jeopardy. (Or the right "question," technically.) One day, I heard that the Teen Jeopardy tournament was open for applications. Ha ha, I bet my entry was one of the first things I ever submitted online. Oh, the 90s!

A few days later, I received an email saying I had been selected to audition for the tournament. I was so pumped! Even more surprising, my mom and her friend agreed to accompany me to LA so I could try out.

Time has eroded some of the finer details from my memory, but what I do remember is flying to California, touring the Channel One studios because my mom's friend had a connection there, meeting Lisa Ling and being totally star struck, staying at someone's house who had fruit trees growing in their yard, and watching an episode of Jeopardy but not knowing many of the answers. (Foreshadowing!!)

The auditions took place at the Jeopardy studio. It was cool to get to go inside and see where the show was filmed. The room was packed with smart-looking young people. We all took a short trivia test and waited while our scores were tallied. Those who scored high enough got to continue to the next round. As we waited, we were supposed to write down interesting facts about ourselves to provide Alex Trebek with fodder for the "banter" section of the program.

When the person in charge returned to the stage, I perched on my seat, just waiting for her to mis-pronounce my name. (My maiden name was a tricky one.) But before long, she finished reading off the list of finalists. I didn't make it. Stunned, I slumped down in my chair. Another announcement followed that if we wanted to be part of a focus group about something that I can't recall, we could go to a different room. I thought maybe there was a chance if I went to the focus group and really impressed them, I'd get another shot, so I went. Nope, that didn't work either. Dejected, I went to find my mom in the parent waiting area. Some other dad was there whose son had made the finals; he acted like it was a sure thing that his son would be on the show because he was so brilliant. I wallowed in self pity over my sorry lot in life.

I still remember one of the questions I got wrong - it was about Natalie Merchant and the 10,000 Maniacs. I had never even heard of that band. It began to dawn on me that as a sheltered kid who'd only started listening to "secular" music a couple years earlier (by surreptitiously tuning in to the oldies station), my knowledge of pop culture was probably not up to the level necessary for success on such a tournament. Plus, I couldn't for the life of me keep all the mythological characters straight. Everyone knows if you're on Jeopardy you're eventually going to run into the Mythology category.

Despite the blow to my ego, it didn't take long for me to realize this failure had been a valuable learning experience. Namely, I found out that there were a lot of intelligent people in the world; I wasn't as smart as I thought I was. At 17, that's a pretty good reality check!

ESOL Lesson Plan

Readers, I'm sorry, today is a crazy-busy day for me and I've fallen behind in preparing blog posts in advance. So instead of something deep and reflective, I'm going to tell you about what I taught in English class this morning!

I've taught English on and off for...wow, 14 years. Good grief, now I feel old! Back before the twins were born, I was volunteering here in Memphis with a different organization whose students are primarily Spanish-speaking. I liked volunteering there, but unfortunately their class schedule doesn't work out with my child care options. So a couple months back, I started volunteering teaching ESOL (English to Speakers of Other Languages) at a local nonprofit that works with refugees. It's been going great so far!

Back in Seattle, I taught English with a refugee-serving organization for while, so I actually have some experience with the needs of this population. Many of my current students fall into the "pre-literate" category, which means they don't really know how to read and write in their native language. You can imagine it would be especially challenging to learn English in that situation! We use a lot of hands-on tools, songs, and physical movement. Sometimes we write down a few things. (And, I actually do have a handful of students now who can read/write their native language.)

Normally I teach on Thursday mornings, but the Monday teacher had a conflict and wasn't able to be there today so I subbed. Here's a sample of what we learned. I'll note that this approach is called Total Physical Response. I don't have a lot of formal ESOL training, but I did learn about TPR at one seminar I attended many years ago!

Intro:
-Review days of the week, yesterday/today/tomorrow, today's date, months of the year
-Talk about the letter N and words with the "N" sound like November (name, nose, night)

Lesson:
-students identify items in the classroom that are various colors (red, orange, etc)
-briefly review shapes - square/circle/triangle
-Pass out items to each student for hands-on practice: colored sticks, a styrofoam cup, and colored shapes cut out of construction paper
-I say "Show me the black square." Everyone finds their square. Then, "Show me your other square - a different color." Everyone finds their orange square. "What color is it?" "Orange." Repeat with circles and triangles.
-Demonstrate various prepositions using props. "Put the black square in the cup." "Take the black square out of the cup."
-Students follow along as I do the action. Next, I give directions verbally but do not accompany with a demonstrative action. About half of the class could successfully follow verbal directions. Increased to about 75% with repeated practice.
-Finish by practicing in table groups, arranging objects and students speaking to describe their location

We did these prepositions today: IN, ON, UNDER, IN FRONT OF, BEHIND, NEXT TO

I see now that I forgot to do "above" or "on top of," to contrast with "under." I was also planning to do "between," but using three items at once seemed like it was going to overwhelm some of the students.

lesson prep :)

I Counted My Chickens

I jinxed myself. That's the only explanation. In the lead up to the end of DST (aka "fall back"), I was getting a bit anxious about how the boys would adapt. And I didn't want to be one of those parents who complains, "I didn't get an extra hour of sleep because I have children!" So we started taking proactive measures to adjust them to the new time gradually.

About 10 days ago, I noticed the boys woke up a little later than usual. That day, I pushed their schedule back by about 15 minutes and it seemed ok. As the days went on, we kept them up later and later. Yesterday, they got up around 8:15am and went to bed at 9:30pm. It was perfect - an hour later than usual! I'll admit, I was totally patting myself on the back and getting ready to write a blog about my amazing parenting/sleep coaching skills to share my awesomeness with y'all.

The best laid plans, eh?

Last night, sometime in the wee hours of the morning (I make it a rule not to look at my clock when awakened), I heard a cry. Rousing my brain from slumber, I hoped whoever it was would just squawk a little and go back to sleep. But moments later, I heard the other kid. That's never a good sign - once they are both awake, intervention is required. I wondered if they'd gotten too cold, as autumn has finally arrived in TN. So I went into their room to find both boys sitting in their cribs, crying, but with no obvious cause. They felt appropriately warm - not feverish, not freezing. Diapers were fine. I got them up and rocked them for awhile. They calmed down. I put them back in bed and returned to bed myself. Checking my phone, I found it was 2:36am. Hmm, so that meant I already got my extra hour of sleep, right? Because we repeated 1-2am?

Apparently the boys weren't ready to go back to sleep, since the squawking continued. DF and I hypothesized that perhaps they had teething pain. They've seemed extra drool-ey of late. I gave them Tylenol and rocked some more. Gus actually fell asleep in the rocking chair but awoke in the attempted transfer back to bed. I tried a couple other go back to sleep techniques, including the ill-advised "let's lay on pillows on the floor while I rub your backs," which only resulted in them seeing all their toys and wanting to play. Sigh. So, we got up, changed diapers, ate some Cheerios, read lots of books, and sang some songs. Finally around 4:15, they got drowsy and acquiesced to slumber.

Now, who knows what the day holds. It's 7:20am CST meaning they should be awake by now, yet they're still snoozing away.

Let my tale serve as a warning to you: all those cliches exist for a reason! Do not congratulate yourself prematurely, and hold your future plans loosely....especially if you have twin one year olds.

Ouch!

Parenthood is painful. You think I mean labor & delivery? Well, yes, that part is rough, but it's not my topic today. I'm talking about the quotidian aches and injuries that come with the territory of raising little ones.

Right now, without exaggerating, I can tell you about 4 times I hurt myself just this week, all kid-related:

• I pinched my left pinky finger between the driver's door and dashboard in the van (didn't even know that was possible!) because I had my hand down on the dash pushing the auto-close buttons for the back sliding doors while simultaneously closing my own door. That was a couple days ago and my finger tip still throbs sometimes. I hope my nail doesn't turn all purple and disgusting.
• I was trying to pick a kid up off the floor but he wriggled away. I whacked my elbow on a built-in cubbyhole in the hallway at home.
• I can't quite recall the circumstances of the third injury - I think I was holding one of the boys when he flung his head back dramatically and banged into my arm (the humerus, to be precise). I've got a nickel-sized bruise there now. Not very humorous! (ha ha, come on, you knew I had to go there)
• When I was lifting the still-folded-up stroller out of the van, it slipped out of my hand. Somehow my hip bone broke its fall (I'm going to go with the anterior interior iliac spine this time). I am surprised the impact didn't result in bleeding because it really stung!

Those are just the incidents that hurt enough for me to remember. I'm not even counting all the times I tripped over/stepped on toys (so glad we don't have small Legos yet), got whacked in the face by flailing children, or felt the burn in my back and legs while picking up two kids at the same time.

It's possible I'm clumsier than most. As a gangly teenager, I had a penchant for accidentally colliding with doorways and walls, then flopping on the floor dramatically, writhing in pain. With my kids around now, I do my best to keep a lid on it so I don't scare them unintentionally. Awhile back, I was holding Gibson when he unexpectedly chomped down on my shoulder - hard! I yelped, "Ouch!" He started wailing, so then I had to comfort him in his scaredness even though I'm the one who got bit. Oh, the life of a mom.

Health At Every Size

I'm going to tackle an American phenomenon that irks me. (It probably happens in other countries, too.) Today's topic: commenting on people's weight. Specifically, assuming skinny = good, fat = bad.

Why am I thinking about this now? Because lately, I've been fielding unsolicited feedback about my own weight. (In case you don't know me IRL, I'm on the slim side.) Just the other day, I was taking the boys for a walk when someone I've never met in the neighborhood looked up from her flowerbeds to comment, "You're so skinny! How can you have twins?" I just said, "ha ha" and kept walking.

What did she know about my situation? Maybe I'm the nanny, not the mom. Maybe I adopted. Maybe my twins were born via a surrogate because I couldn't carry a pregnancy. Maybe I developed an eating disorder, triggered by post-partum hormone changes. Maybe I'm fighting a disease that causes weight loss. (None of those things are true, btw!)

The truth is that yes, about a year after giving birth to twins, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight. (Though not my pre-pregnancy shape...) I don't say this to pat myself on the back or to make anyone else feel bad about their size. Mostly, I think my weight is genetic. I come from skinny stock. In elementary school, I was usually the class "shrimp." Then you add in the reality of chasing around two active kids + not always having time/remembering to eat, and I guess the baby weight just disappeared. Also, remember that I delivered at 30 weeks, so I didn't gain as much as I could have if I'd gone full term.

What if I lived in a parallel universe where I was a lot bigger before, during, and after pregnancy? What kind of comments would I field then? People might see me walking with a stroller and say, "Trying to lose that baby weight, huh?" Or maybe worse...

My point is, I just don't understand why some people feel the need to point out to me that I am slim. I suppose they are trying to compliment me, but actually, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. It's not like an accomplishment I feel I should be proud of. I'm just trying to survive over here, keeping myself and my two little people fed. (Oh yeah, and my husband...good thing he likes frozen burritos.) My genetic predisposition towards slenderness is not under my control.

So, guess what, if someone else has a genetic predisposition to be on the larger side, that's not something they can control, either! I am no dietitian and can't begin to understand, let alone explain, the complex interplay among genetics, diet, and activity level that impacts a person's weight. But what I do know is that in the U.S., people who are overweight experience bias and discrimination. Some people are saying that size discrimination is becoming the new socially acceptable discrimination, as overt racism falls out of favor. (Note that I am not saying that and really don't want to wade into the murky waters of ranking/comparing the badness of various forms of discrimination...)

How then shall we live? Well, in my case, I do not talk about people's weight, whether it has increased or decreased. If they bring it up, fine, but I don't introduce the subject. I want to advocate for people being healthy at every size. HAES promotes, among other things,

• Finding the joy in moving one’s body and being physically active;
• Eating in a flexible and attuned manner that values pleasure and honors internal cues of hunger, satiety, and appetite, while respecting the social conditions that frame eating options.

I can support that! I find joy in going for walks in the park with my kids. I am learning to eat more intuitively, listening to my body's cues. I'm finding it's especially important that I eat enough protein and that I eat before I'm famished. Both of those help me have more energy and patience, which I need in abundance in this season of life.

So, readers, get out there and be kind to those you encounter today across the full spectrum of humanity. As the song I learned in elementary school goes, "Friends come in all shapes and sizes!"

p.s. If you're one of the people who has commented about my skinniness, please know that I really don't hold it against you and am not trying to pick on you by writing this post! You're just living out what your culture has taught you. All I'm trying to do is point out where that culture may have gotten us off track and encourage a bit of thoughtful reflection.

Date Night in Memphis

This is a reader-suggested post. What do DF and I do for "date night"?

LOLOLOLOLOL

Ahem <cough>, sorry, let me catch my breath here. People, we have two babies, er, toddlers. Two VERY ACTIVE little toddlers who would love to destroy your house/store/restaurant/pet store/etc and giggle while doing it. Hence, we very rarely take them anywhere that isn't super baby friendly, unless they can be constrained in their stroller.

We live approximately 800 miles from their nearest grandparents. We do have some very nice friends here who have offered to watch the boys, but we know how exhausting watching the boys can be, so we try not to wear people out too much. (Also, see note above about their destrucive tendencies to explain why we don't really want to bring them over to someone's house for babysitting.) The kids take some time to warm up to new people. They are also very skilled at screaming to delay bedtime. If you let a volunteer babysitter listen to too much screaming, they may not be so eager to volunteer again...

Hiring a babysitter to come over to our house is a possibility, and we actually have done so before. The going rate around here seems to be at least $10/hour. So if we're planning a traditional dinner + movie date, we have to decide if it's actually worth it to tack on an extra $30-$40 to the cost. I know, I know, everyone says you should do it, that hiring a babysitter is money well spent. And we can afford it if we want to. But we have to reeeeally want to do something. Plus I tend to worry about the boys a lot when I'm not with them, so I have a hard time actually relaxing and enjoying myself.

All that being said, DF and I actually do get some time to ourselves once in a while. We send the boys to Mother's Day Out twice a week. They stay for 5 hours, and they always seem to have fun. DF is usually off work twice a month on MDO days. Since we're already paying (a very affordable rate) for childcare, we've tried to make the most of these day dates! We tend to go out to breakfast and/or lunch and maybe do something else fun. One day we went to the Rock 'n' Soul museum. Another time we went shopping at Babies R Us and had lunch at Red Lobster. I felt very suburban that day, haha. This week, we voted then caught up on DVR'd episodes of The Big Bang Theory.

Here's my latte from one of our recent breakfasts - at Tamp & Tap

Snacks, Snacks, and More Snacks

I decided to write down everything the boys ate yesterday. I thought it might be interesting. What I realized is that they are basically subsisting on a variety of crackers! I mean, I was aware of their fondness for crackers, but I guess I didn't quite notice how much it's become the centerpiece of their diet...

This is what they ate together. In general, Gus eats more than Gibson, though they both take delight in throwing food on the floor.

Breakfast

• 1 1/2 bananas
• 2 pieces of toast with peanut butter & honey
• 1 kiwi (that was all Gus)
• almond milk
• Amount thrown on floor = minimal

Snack

• Cheerios, mostly thrown on the floor
• water

Lunch

• 2 slices of deli turkey (a lot on floor)
• steamed sweet potatoes - not sure of quantity, let's say one large mommy-sized handful (a lot to the floor as well)
• 9 blackberries
• 1/2 a strawberry soy yogurt
• copious amounts of Ritz crackers
• almond milk

Snack

• Cheerios, ate about 3 off the tray then threw the rest overboard. Later ate most of them off the floor/high chair footrest
• a lot of animal crackers
• water

Yes, Another Snack

• 10 saltine crackers, eaten while walking around, leaving cracker crumbs all over the kitchen
• water

Dinner

• 3/4 cup pasta with tomato and meat sauce
• 12 green beans
• 3 small mommy-sized handfuls of blueberries
• rest of the yogurt from lunch, mostly smeared around tray/flung on self/wiped in hair
• almond milk
• Amount thrown on floor was pretty low this meal. Maybe they were hungry for something other than crackers! Or perhaps it's because I gave them forks and plates - usually we just do finger food, but I heard I'm supposed to teach them to be civilized at some point.

Snack

• 1 Three Musketeers fun-size bar, cut up into little pieces and surprisingly not thrown on the floor :)
• a mountain of Ritz crackers
• they also begged for noodles out of the soup I was eating, then dropped them on the floor

Life Will Never Be the Same

You know how you hear these cliches all the time and you're just like, "yes yes, I've heard that," but one day you go, "OOOOHHH now I get it!"? Well, that recently happened to me.

We were attending a new parents' dinner at church. Even though our kids are more than a year old, we still don't really know what we're doing, so we figured we qualified as noobs :) One of the speakers was giving some advice to the group. He said, "Realize that your life will never be the same again." He said that life with kids is different, not better or worse than before. [Aside: that's exactly what I used to tell exchange students, that their experiences in a foreign country weren't going to be better or worse than home, just different. I should listen to myself!]

Well, obviously this is a sentiment I'd heard many times, starting when I was pregnant. I'd nodded and thought, "Duh, obviously I am gestating two little humans here; I recognize that my life is different!" But what I hadn't accepted is that life is not going to go back to the way it used to be.

I'm sure several of you reading that are thinking, "Yes, obviously you have two little humans to take care of now!" Maybe all you other parents realized this sooner in your own lives. For some reason, I hadn't connected those dots yet. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking, "Once the boys are XX years old, or reach XX milestone, we'll be able to start doing YY again. Life will get back to normal." Nope, not gonna happen. This is our new normal!

The speaker also said that once your kids are grown and out of the house, your life still won't be the same because you'll be older and won't have the energy that you used to in your younger days.

Time is, after all, an ever-rolling stream. I know I can't go backwards. Reminiscing about the past is nice (thanks, FB memories!), but I can't live there. For example, sometimes I miss living in DC. It's an action-packed city with tons to do, delicious restaurants, and history around every corner. At times, I've even wished I could move back. But if I did go back, it wouldn't be the same. Many friends I knew there have moved away as well. Several who are still in the area now have kids of their own. Let's just say I wouldn't be standing on a metro platform very often at 1AM, waiting to head home after a night of dining and dancing at a Turkish restaurant.

And you know what? It's ok. I've accepted it. My days of disco hopping are over, but countless new adventures lay before me. Before long, the kids will reach those critical milestones of "one nap a day," and "getting more teeth so they can chew real food better." That's really going to open up lots of new options to us, in terms of going places and doing things. My life will never be the same as it used to be; it'll always be different, and that's what makes it interesting.