Assimilation or Cultural Appropriation?

Living in the South is tricky sometimes. It's obvious to most people I meet that I'm not from here as soon as I've spoken a sentence. I'm not really trying to become a Southerner, yet I find my vocabulary shifting a bit. The allure of y'all is difficult to resist, y'all! Now that I've gotten used to hearing y'all frequently, it sounds so much more polite to me than you guys. I admit to using it in written communication when "you" seems too vague. But I still don't say it all that often because it makes me feel like an imposter.

Exception: when I'm frustrated with my children, I go full-on y'all, such as "y'all need to quiet down and take a nap!" I mean, they're Southerners, right? I'm sure they understand me.

Of late, I've noticed DF picking up a few new expressions. His latest is fixin' to. I think he's trying to teach it to the boys, too - I heard him tell them, "We're fixing to leave, so let's put on your shoes." I admit to rolling my eyes! But then I thought, why should I let it bother me? Am I the cultural assimilation police who decides when a person can and can't adapt? If he wants to speak like a Memphian, it's probably ok. Plus, as he likes to point out, although he grew up in the Midwest, his pastor was from Texas and taught him lots of Southernisms when he was young and impressionable.

But at what point do we start to look like posers? Unless I develop a legit drawl, wear makeup whenever I leave the house, and start hanging burlap craft projects on my front door, no one is going to mistake me for a Southerner anytime soon. If I adopt the dialect of the people without the other cultural norms, it feels inauthentic to me.

Then I thought about another perspective - what about the refugees who are my ESOL students? If one of them said, "I'm fixing to go to the store," I'd be mighty impressed by their excellent grasp of local idioms. (As it is, I'd be happy if some of them could manage "I go store"...) I guess it's because I assume the refugees will live in Memphis for many years, so it's best that they start assimilating sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, my family probably won't stay here long term, so why do I need to incorporate Southern expressions if my Northwestern English is usually understood? Hmm, but even if we moved to a foreign country for only a couple years, I'd definitely try my best to learn that new language. I'm conflicted...